tebruary 2Q. 2004
ADVICE
SPIRITUALITY
Metro: Spirituality
Ainsworth United Church of Christ is a multi
racial multicultural, open and affirming church Sunday
worship is at 10 am; church school for children runs
concurrently. (2941 NE A insw orth S t 50 3 284 8767.
auccQ teleportcom .) (7/04)
Anawim Community of gay men meets weekly for
Christian meditation and prayer
(7 3 0 pm Thursday
503-281 0722.) (7/04)
Bridgeport United Church of Christ is a commu-
nity of progressive, political people exploring and cele
brating the Chnstian faith We are sexual minonty and
straight, multicultural and multiracial, and our children
are valued members (10 3 0 am Sunday 621 NE 76th
Ave 503-258-0992 www bndgeportucc o rg ) (7 / 04)
City Church, Portland's "oldest gay-affirming
Chnstian church," offers a spirit-driven church for
today s diverse generations (1 0 am Sunday com m u
nion and w orship service , 6 3 0 pm Sunday w orship
service 3 8 3 0 S E 6 2nd A ve . 503-77 5-5 024 .)(7 704)
Congregation P’nai Or (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitarian, Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland
Meets several times a month at Portland State University
Campus Ministries (PO Box 42187. Portland. OR
Koinonia Catholic Community is a progressive,
small faith community that gathers weekly to celebrate
Euchanst at Bndgeport United Church of Chnst. A wel
coming congregation. Catholic in tradition and
Ecumenical in membership (6 pm Sunday 621 NE 76th
A ve 503-699-0473 www koinoniacom m unity o ra 7
(7/04)
Longview United M ethodist Church is weicom
ing and reconciling (1 0 am Sunday 2851 30th A ve
360-425 4 9 2 7 .) (7 /0 4 )
Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "house church" that bnngs gay and
straight together Daily morning prayer and Sunday
evening worship (503-281-3697
w w w .tearsoup .com /m eta noia) (7/04)
M etropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am Sunday school for children is held dunng
the 11 am service (2 400 N E Broadw ay 503-281 8868
m foG m ccportland com w w w m ccp o rtta n d co m .) (7/04)
Nichiren Buddhist Temple of Portland offers
several weekly gathenngs Everyone welcome1 (1 0 am
Sunday. 7 3 0 am Tuesday and Thursday 7 3 0 pm
W ednesday m editation 2025 SE Yam hill S t
97242-0187. 503 248-4500 w w w p n a io rp d x o rg )(7 /0 4 )
East rose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist a
Portland Center fo r Spiritual Growth is a center
welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and
children's religious education (1 0 3 0 am Sunday
for worship, growth and leadership that adheres to an
all inclusive spmtual philosophy similar to 12-step.
Unity and Religious Science. (503-777-0727
w w w p o rtland cente r o rg 7 (7/04)
eastroseQ teleport com w w w eastrose o rg ) (7/04)
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
community of Chnstians in Troutdale that values and
encourages all people in Ending a place of belonging in
the family of God. Sunday worship at 10 15 am; Adult
Education at 9 am. children and youth at 10 30 am
Wednesday Prayers 6-6 30 pm (27400 SE S tark S t
503 6 6 1 -4520 ) (7/04)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offenng a wide
range of programs to nurture spmtual growth,
community and social justice Sunday service 9 and
11 am (1011 SW 12th Ave. 503 228 6389
www firstum tananportland org.) (7/04)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO) of St Philip
Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass fol
lowed by a social. (7 3 0 pm Fnday P aulist C enter.
2408 SE 16th Ave 503 231-4955 7(7/04)
Gay Men's Labyrinth Protect meets quarterly for
a walking meditation and wisdom circle on the labynnth
(w w w ga ylab ynnth com ) (7/04)
Gay Men's Spirit Group is open to all men expen
enced or interested in alternative spmtual practices such
as New Age, shamanism, meditation, psychic/mtuitive,
energy work and healing (503-230- 7949 ) (7/04)
Integrity is a group of sexual minonty Episcopalians
and fnends Vanous locations throughout Oregon
(Bruce 503 2 8 6 -9 1 11 bm cepdxorG attbi com
Sunday 4775 N Lom bard St. The Rev Jea nne
Knepper 503 289- 7 8 4 3 7 (7/04)
Waveriy Heights United Church of Christ is
open and affirming with worship, children's school and
child care. (1 0 am Sunday 3300 SE W oodw ard S t
503-238-1337 w w w wavedyucc o rg .) (7/04)
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new.
moon Open to all men seeking alternative spmtual
growth and community Coffee hours start 9 30 am
Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave
(503-235-0826 otterG p cez com ) (7/04)
Seventh-Day Adventist Kinship is a support
organization for queer people, their families and
fnends (PO B ox 7320, Laguna N iguel. CA
3915 SE S teele S t 503-777-3704
www w yeast pnw d u u a .o rg 7(7/04)
Zion United Church of Christ, an open and
affirming congregation, is open to gay, lesbian, bi, trans
and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a
Chnst-centered, warm, canng, multiage/race/cultural
faith community (11 am Sunday 2025 NE 2 3 rd A v e .
Gresham 503 6 6 5 -8 7 4 1 7(7/04)
Central Oregon: Spirituality
United Church of Christ Congregational is an
open and affirming congregation in The Dalles (9.20 am
adult Sunday school. 10 30 am Sunday w orship 111 E
Fifth S t 541-296-2909 ucccongl@ netcnct net
www form im stry com /'usorucofcucocc. 7(7/04)
Washington: Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A New Thought
Community for spintual awakening and transforming
lives through love A safe place where children leam to
embody spntual pnnciples (1 0 am Sunday 10006 NE
N inth A v e , Vancouver The Rev Kathleen Vengm
360 5 7 3 -2 6 2 6 ) (T704)
92607-7320. 86 6 732-5677 officeG sdakm ship org.
East Vancouver United Methodist Church is
w w w sdakm ship o r g ) (7/04)
reconciling and welcoming (1 0 am Sunday
SisterSpirit offers women's spintuality celebrations,
5701 M acA rthur B lvd 36 0 6 9 3 -4 7 6 1 ) (7704)
discussion groups, a dramming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule of events available All women are
welcome (S uite 102. 34 30 SE B elm ont S t M ailing
First Congregational Church. United Church of
Chnst. holds services in an open and affirming congre
gation. (10 am Sunday w orship, 1 1 1 5 am adult educa
address PO Box 9246. P ortland. OR 97207
tion 1220 NE 68th S t. Vancouver 360-693-1476
vanuccG aol com .) (7/04)
503- 736 32 97 siste rsp G te le p o rt com .) (7/04)
Southminster Presbyterian Church is an active
member of the Community of Welcoming
Congregations. Sunday school and nursery care.
Classes, community service activities and events for all
ages and interests (9 -9 3 0 am Sunday chapel service.
10 am Sunday com m unity w orship service. 12250 S W
Metropolitan Community Church of the
Gentle Shepherd in Vancouver welcomes you
(10 30 am and 6 3 0 pm Sunday worship. 9 am Sunday
Bible study 2200 B roadw ay The Rev H arnet
B arshofsky 360 69 5 1 4 8 0 1 (7/04)
staffG southm m com w w w southm m c o m ) (7/04)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a Welcoming Congregatxxi. provxles a home
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
for the liberal religious spirit. (9 3 0 and 11:15 am Sunday
4505 E 18th S t . Vancouver 360-695-1891 7(7/04)
D enney Road. B eaverton 503-644-2073
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship
(9 :3 0 am Sunday 806 NE A lb erta S t 503-281 -4429.)
www m tegntyusa o rg ) (7/04)
(7/04)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spmtual direc
tors from vanous world religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, classes and retreats (S econd
Floor. 3910 SE llt h A ve 503-233 2026. ext 3
www m terfaithspintualcenter c o m 7 (7/04)
St. James Lutheran Church a Reconciled in
Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for tradition
al, liturgical worship where we expenence God s recon
ciling love that sets all people free. (9 and 11 am
Sunday 1315 S W Park A ve 503-227-2439
Keshet Portland is a potluck group for Jewish mem
bers of the sexual minonties community and their part
ners. spouses and supporters Its purpose is to help
build bridges with the larger Jewish community
Monthly social, religious and cultural events (D avid o r
Laney 503-226-7079. ext 1 4 )( 7/04)
w w w stjam eslutheranportland o rg .7 (7/04)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel
coming all people since 1863 (1 2 10 pm W ednesday
and 7 4 5 and 10 am Sunday. Sunday school and child
care a t 10 am 1432 SW 13th A ve 503 223 6424 )
(7/04)
Sexual M in ority Youth Resource Center
(SM YR O a program o f Cascadia Behavioral
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Flavor«, a social support group for sexual minonty
youth of color 21 and younger, meets on weekends for
food and sociakzng Regular events and activities
Flavors Is a project of Love Makes a Family's
MultiQueer program and is supported by Brother to
Brother (Jaye 503-228-3892 jayeOtmtarnty org ) (7 /04)
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bias n K -12
schools. (Suite 180. 12700 SW North Dakota St.
1 129. Tigard. OR 97223. 503-525■ 1177.
gteen&glseooregon ocg wwwglsenoregon org.) (7/04)
Mufti Queer a program of Love Makes a Famdy,
provides advocacy to sexual mmortty youth O ffers
resources and support in the community and the school
systems, with a focus on support for queer and
questioning youth o f color (Jaye 503-228-3892
jaye&mfamtty org.) (7/04)
Outside In operates a d n ic fo r anyone who can t
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needte
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones Can provide transitional housing fo r youth 20
and younger as we* as for those HIV+ and younger
than 23. Needs volunteers of all ages (10am -6pm
MJnday Fnday 1132 SW 13th Ave 503-535-3800.
www.outsidem org )i7 704)
H ealthcare, o ffe rs support and recreation to gay,
lesbian, bi and trans youth 23 and younger. O ffers
drop-in com puter access, pool tables Bnd an in fo r
mal place to hang out. W eekly support m eetings
includes Trans Youth G roup and the creative group
Personal D e ity Proxy (4-8 pm Monday and
Wednesday. 4 pm-midnight Friday and Saturday.
2100 SE Belmont St 503-872-9664 TTY
503-231-9286 www.smyrc org.) O ther program s
m dude: Clackamas C ounty Sexual M inority
Youth Connection (CO SM YO provides oppor
tunities fo r queer and questioning youth ages 23
and younger to get together fo r free, fun and sup
portive social a ctivitie s O ffe rs one-on-one support,
referrals and inform ation on HIV and STD prevention
and resources fo r adults who w ork w ith queer and
questioning youth (503-969-0060
coamycyouthGyahoo com ) Pride P roject brings
together W ashington C ounty queer and questioning
youth to plan and attend m onthly social events. A lso
inform ation, referral and advocacy services in
Washington County. (M olly 503-260-5792.
mokyGphdeproject org.) (7 /0 4 )
Eastern Oregon: Youth
Cattem Oregon Cantor for Irutopnocfaint Living
offers support and advocacy to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and
Send your
Sweet surrender
If you love something, set it free...or join in
Wy'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
is an open and liberal religious community offenng
mtergenerational services and religious education for
youth and adults We welcome gay, lesbian, bi and
trans members and nurture spmtual growth living by
Unitarian Universalist pnnciples (4 pm Sunday
50 3-232 8064 w w w m ch ire n -s h u o rg /p o rtla n d ) (7/04)
Peace Church of the Brethren is a welcoming
congregation (11 am Sunday. 12727 SE M a rket St.
503-254 63 80 ) (7/04)
1133 NE 181st A v e . Gresham 5 0 3 6 6 5 2628
University Park United M ethodist Church
believes in giving to the community, canng for one
another and making a difference one person at a time
Come celebrate God's diversity with us! (1 0 am
Willamette Valley: Spirituality
First Congregational Church. United Church of
Chnst is an open and affirming congregation offenng
worship and church school Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible (9 3 0 am Sunday learning hour.
1 0 3 0 am w orship 700 M a nor S t NE. Salem
503-363 3 6 6 0 ) (7104)
Metropolitan Community Church Two Rivers
is a Chnstian church with pnmary outreach in the sexual
minonties community (6 3 0 pm Sunday 1166 Oak S t .
Eugene 7(7/04)
(541-889-3119 or
866-248-8369 eoolGeoal.org. www eoci.org 7 (7/04)
questioning youth in Eastern Oregon.
Washington: Youth
Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy
to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth In
Vancouver, Wash. Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base
ment o f Youth House. 1112 Columbia S t m Vancouver
(John 360-695-1325) (7/04)
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gey» Lttsbfovta Bi, TnHtQondor irafl Queitioning
Youth Group for ages 13 to 18 offers support,
information and fun in Eugene Free, confidential, adult-
facilitated (Drop n 4-6 pm Fnday. Amazon Community
Center. 2700 Hiyard St. 541-684-3466) (7704)
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Traasgandar Youth
Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday
m Eugene (5 pm Komonta Center. 1414 Kincaid St.
541-3461134JCJ704)
Rainbow Youth « a safe, confident»! support group
for young gay men. lesbians, bisexuals, transgender,
qaestioning and friends (68 pm Wednesday Micha
Building. 690 State St . Salem
www salemrainbowyouth org.) (7/04)
outreach listings to
ju s t o u t attn Calendar) • PO Box 14400 • Portland OR 97293 0400
Fax submissions to 5 0 3 -2 3 6 -1 2 5 7 or e mail ju sto ut@ justout.co m
Submissions cannot be accepted over the phone • Please type yout announcements and include full contact information
D ear M s . B ehavior :
About three weeks ago
I met a wonderful guy. We
proceeded to embark on
a passionate, tender
romance: easy, fun, H O T
and moving at light speed,
including talking about
trips together, meeting
family and eventual
cohabitation.
We’ve even been using
the word “boyfriend.” But
at the end of week two, M starts to
panic and requests that we take a step
hack and date instead of buying rings
already. His pattern, he says, is to meet
someone, get totally caught up in the
whirlwind and then hum out quickly,
and he says he doesn’t want that to
happen with me.
The problem is, even though I have
his words and hard prcxif (ahem) that
he’s crazy about me, he wants “dating”
to include other people. He wants to he
sure it’s me he wants to he with.
I say that dating other people isn’t
going to help me get to know him bet
ter. But if that’s what he wants, who
am 1 to say no? Still, 1 think it would
feel pretty awful to know he was out
on a date when 1 was at home knit
ting. Especially since
1 don’t know how.
Do 1 risk losing
M by saying, “No,
I’m sorry, if you
want to he with me,
you can’t see other
people”? Could this
he a lesson in sur
render? W hat
should I do?
— Tangled
says, “I am a slob,” or “1
hate children," or “I’m
cheap,” believe him! M
told you that he typically
gets caught up in a whirl
wind and hums out quick
ly. So, even if he has an
endless hard-on for you,
plans trips with you and
whispers sonnets in your
ear, remember the truth:
He bum s out quickly.
D ear M s . B ehavio r :
A t first I thought my girlfriend,
Nancy, was having an affair because a
few m onths ago she started always
smelling like, well, pussy. Turns out
it’s hers, not someone else’s.
We only have sex about once a
month, hut her sex life with herself is
pretty active. Often, as I’m falling
asleep, I hear her masturbating. Last
week I came home from work for lunch
to find her going at it on the couch.
I haven’t confronted her about why
she’d rather do it herself than have sex
with me. Maybe I’m afraid to know
the answer. Should I say anything?
—Spumed for Self-Love
D ear S purned for S elf -L ove :
T h e re ’s n othing
wrong w ith coupled
people m asturbating,
hut if it’s at the
expense of your sex
life together, that
makes it less...fun.
You can talk about it
w ithout m aking it
into a confrontation.
Let N ancy know
th a t you’d like to
have sex m ore often.
She may have a big
ger sex drive than
you do and take
m atters in to h er ow n hands.
If you usually just play dead when
you hear Nancy masturbating in bed,
you might try som ething else, like,
say, putting N ancy’s pussy-flavored
fingers in your mouth. O r climbing on
top and joining in her middle-of-the-
night masturbation party.
N ext time you have your monthly
sex date, check in and make sure
Nancy likes what you’re doing. Invite
her to tell you what feels good to her.
Make sure to talk a lot, in bed and
out, and to do whatever helps you feel
close to one another.
If N ancy’s just not getting enough
sex, these suggestions should help. If,
however, she’s fantasizing about the
next-door neighbor or the local bowl
ing team, climbing on top of her
probably won’t help. J H
There's nothing
wrong with
coupled people
masturbating ;
but if it's at the
expense of your
sex life together ,
that makes it
less..Iun
D ear T angled :
There’s nothing
wrong with trying
on a relationship, as if it’s a shoe, to see
if it fits. The problem is that you want
to try on one pair at a time, and M
wants to try on every shoe in the store.
W hen people continue to shop,
it’s often because they haven’t found
exactly what they’re looking for. O r
they’re what car salesmen refer to as
“tire kickers,” which means they’ll go
out for a test ride and play with all
the buttons and features, hut they
have no intention of buying the car.
Perhaps M has no idea what he
wants, or he’s scared, or he has “inti
macy issues." It doesn’t make him a
bad person, hut you might get hurt,
particularly if you think he’ll change
for you.
There’s nothing wrong with non
monogamy. But if what you truly
want is a monogamous relationship,
you’d he better off looking for some
one who wants the same thing
instead of bending yourself into a
pretzel, trying to accomnruxlate his
needs.
T he biggest problem m<»t people
hav e in relationships stems from not
listening to what someone says about
himself in the beginning. If someone
© Meryl C ohn 2004
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do W hat
I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay
and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton
Mifflin) . Signed copies are available
directly from the author. Send questions or
correspondence to msbehawor@aol .com.
33