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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 3, 2003)
October 12003 » CULTURE G eatingout It's a scream irlfriend, hold your mister-man's hand tight because Jantzen Beach will he scarier than your first pair of heels when Scream at the Beach throws a homo haunt Oct. 19— a ghoulish gav night specifically for Fagenstems, Dvkulas and Wicked Bttches from all dimensions. The award-winning Halloween attraction— renamed “Queens at the Beach” tor this special night— reincarnates five spcxiky sires into campy sendups. Gay owner Henry Miller says it will he a bouf fant extravaganza with thrills and chills that will make your wig stand higher than Grandma’s beehive. On the lisp of gay upgrades are monsters in feather boas, prancing aliens and enough cemetery show runes to make Judy roll over in her grave. Although he says this may he the first such gay night at a major Hallow een attraction, Miller has been raising hell on earth for three seasons. The key, he says, is emphasis on a sptxiky scare rather than guts and gore. This year, Millers been working since July with dozens of volunteers from Help Henry' Miller the American Red Cross (which receives a portion of the prix:eeds) and two other companies to create an indexir nether world featuring all new, custom-made tours that celebrate two things with which queers can iden tify: facing our tears and playing dress-up. Here’s but just a frightening glimpse at what lies beyond the gypsy wagon. If you love Indiana Jones and his big, long whip, start at the Forbidden Temple. But be careful, honey, because before long you’re going to be facing a wall of dildos cornin’ right for you. Not scared? Ltxik again— they’re really razor-sharp spikes, and you’d better get out of there fast because these pricks may just pierce you where you don’t need another hole. As you lcxik for a way out, ladies, be careful what you fiddle with— you may find that the furry little patch you felt in the dark has eight legs. And wrhen the volcano begins spewing its load, boys, try to keep your mouth shut and leave the moaning to the molten mummies. (Don’t listen to those voices in the dark, either. Groping is the only way. Just don’t be surprised if you find things a little wet and slimy.) Which brings to mind those Planet Out aliens that penetrate Anus— 1 mean, Alpha Sta tion 13. With cool 3-D effects, lots of smoke and mirrors, and more startling things jumping out of dark comers than Laurelhurst Park, you’ll be glad you have a laser gun to protect yourself. The key to beating off those aliens is simply to channel lesbolicious Sigourney Weaver. Watch out for that airkx:k: It’s a full-hxly blow job. OK, you say, despite being gay, this is just theme-park fey all the way. Then step inside Baron Von Goolo’s Muse um of Horrors for a seriously disturbing visit to what must be the origins of the word “queer.” Secret panels reveal more bones than a bath house while a queer cadaver deadpans her best cabaret. (Yes, Geri Halliwell can apparently raise the dead.) Like Stark Street, this attrac- Haunted house welcomes fairies to an all-homo’s-eve by T im o t h y K eatingout eatingout eatingout 2 people G c lu lt ud£d a ((antic 6i*<y ¿aduuxu rause 6 courses.... cuáed due Cue ¿¿(et uUuyou 14 days to take advantage oxnmedijed áouecf frnauuci o f $22 Decadence Restaurant & Lounge Visit us at www.starkys.com ayaua Special by Reservation Only Available 6-9pm 503 230*7980 * 2913 SE Stark 15% OFF Dinner Entrees get through Queens at the Beach on Oct. 19 tion has one of everything, including many 1 could never describe and am still trying to for get. Can you say “altered taxidermy”? Still, my daring dykes, don’t leave until you’ve asked about the chicken mustache. One mysterious area that Miller didn’t let me see— which, of course, intrigues me all the more— was the Theater Macabre. Two small stages present different 20-minute shows that involve ghost stories, dark magic and other unexplainable phenomena, whispers Miller, as he ushers me our without saying another word about it. How curious. If, for some insane reason, you bring young children, drop them off at Nigel’s Haunted Playhouse, where two, um, rats await the tykes too young to know how scary 50 straights dressed up like queens can be. A cartixin-style haunted house with hands-on exhibits provide playful Halloween activities and take-home crafts of the young and feeble (O K, those 3 to 7). Finally, while waiting for friends who’ve disappeared, be sure to visit the fortuneteller, wandering monsters, magician and unique backdrops for memorable photos that create a lobby sideshow. Yes, snacks and souvenirs, too. So, let’s recap: passages darker than the hack nx)m of the Eagle; more strobe lights than Embers; bigger surprises than Club XES; and another tomb to raid besides the Egyptian Room. between 5:30 & 7pm every day! 5 0 3 -2 4 8 -2 1 1 2 1135 SW Morrison price per person Oct. 3-17, 2003 only Mention Ju st Out when you call! _________________________________________________________ F IN E 'D IN IN G FROM T H E SEA 3520 NE 42N D AT FREM O N T 503-249-8486 D IN N ER S FROM 5:30 TO 9:30 W ED N ESD A Y - SATURDAY It’s Just Better! You’re gonna love the bread Si everything in between! 1 5 4 5 NE Sandy Blvd 6 8 8 IME Grand Ave ( 503 ] 833-4540 Open 0am-8pm M-F • 11 am-0pm Sat ( 503 ] 834-8585 Open 8am -7pm M-F in S cream at th e B e a c h , 1802 Jantzen Beach Center, opens at 7 p m . Tuesday to Saturday through O ct. 31, plus Oct. 26 and 27. Queens at the Beach gay night is 7 to 10 p.m . Oct. 19. Admission is $7 per haunt or $3 for the children's exhibit, which includes a ride on the mall’s carousel (closed during the party, so you’ll haiv to return another day for this dizzying experience). For details visit www.scream atthebeach.com /queens.htm. f\it RjuuU U a A T o 2716 NE MLK 503 288-4169 7a m -2 p m M on-Fri, 8 a m -3 p m S at-S u n V 43
