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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 15, 2002)
novBflibflf IS. 2002 ADVICE .................... ¥ .................... C hrist is an open and affirm ing congregation offering worship and church school Child care provided and wheelchair accessible. (9 am Sunday learning hour. 10 am worship. 700 Manon S t NE. Salem. 503 363 3660 ) ( 11 / 02 ) Page Jordan’s photography is on display at the lesbian-owned coffee shop Haven through Nov. 30 M om lngside United Methodist Church is a rec onciling congregation where everyone is welcome to partic ipate in the full life o f the con gregation (8 3 0 and I I am Sunday. 3674 12th S t SE. Salem 503-364-5013.) ( 11 / 02 ) » ■■■- > •v Sacred Sou ls honors all sacred paths, promotes peace and strives to create an environment that supports and prom otes interfaith dia logue M eets at the Oregon School of Massage (6 30-8 pm Sunday 440 Ferry St. SE. Salem wholhlth@aol.com. www sacredsouls o rg ) K jü ( 11 / 02 ) Congregation P'nai O r (Faces of Light) is a vibrant, egalitanan. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland. Meets several times a month in various locations. (PO Box 42187. Portland. OR 97242 0187. 503-248-4500. w w w pnaiorpdxorg! (1 1/02) address PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207 503-736-3297. sistersp@ teleport.com ) ( 1 1/02) (503-262-6947) (1 1/02) Spirit Circle is fo r lesbian, bisexual or transgendered women seeking a welcoming community in the Catholic church M eets every third Thursday in the Nativity School of St. Andrew's Church (7 pm 806 NE Alberta St. lbtspintcircle@ yahoo.com.) (5/03) Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist Southm inster Presbyterian Church is a chal a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service and children’s religious education. (10:30 am. 1133 NE 181st A ve. Gresham 503-6652628 easlrose@ teteport.com.) (5/03) lenging. supportive community that welcomes all peo ple. It is the first More Light Presbyterian Church in Oregon. Sunday school and nursery care (10 am Sunday 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton 503-644-2073. staff@southmm.com.) (11 /02) Dignity Portland meets for Mass on Sundays. Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming community of Chnstians in Troutdale that values and encourages all people in finding a place of belonging in the family of God. Sunday worship at 10:15 am. Adult Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10 30 am Wednesday Prayers 6-6 30 pm (27400 SE Stark St 503-661-4520. M il /02) First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and affirming liberal religious community offering a wide range of programs to nurture spmtual growth, commu nity and social |ustice Sunday service 10 am (1011 SW 12th Ave 503228-6389 www hrstunitananportland.org.) (11 /0 2 ) First United Methodist Church o f Portland, a w el coming and reconciling congregation, believes no one is left out in God's family Sexual minonty potlucks held monthly. (10 30 am Sunday 1838 SW Jefferson St. 503-228-3195 www fum cpdx.org) (11/02) Grace Space is a New Thought spiritual center dedi cated to offenng ways to experience Spmt. Sunday evening celebrations with Rev Stephanie Torres, Conscious Breathing experiences. Chanting, Healing Services. Meditation classes and a miracles study group. (5 pm Bndgeport Community Church. 621 NE 76th Ave. 503-287-321 6 )0 1 /0 2 ) Integrity is a group of GLBT Episcopalians and fnends. Vanous locations throughout Oregon (Bruce Mason. Regional D irector 503-286-9111 or brucepdxor@attbi com. www mtegntyusa o rg ) (11 /02) Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spmtual direc tors from vanous world religious traditions, who are available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 503 233-2026. ext 3 www mterfaithspmtualcenter com. X 1 1/02) Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist Church is a "house church." bnnging gay and straight together (Daily prayer 7 20 am. Sunday gathenng 5 pm. 2116 NE 18th Ave 503-281-3697 www tearsoupcom /m etanoia.) (W 0 2 ) Metropolitan Community Church of Portland holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at 9 and 11 am. Sunday school for children is held during the 11 am worshp service. (2400 NE Broadway 503 281 8868 mfo@ mccportlandcom.)(1 1 /02) Portland Center for Spiritual Growth in the Unity Church building invites you to celebrate your spir ituality with the Revs. Casey and Berdell M offett Chaney Liberal, practical; all are welcome (5 pm Sunday service . 7:30-9 pm Monday Spmtual Pnnciple Ja b Group: 4-4 40 pm Sunday Rescuing the Bible from the Right Wing Discussion Group 4525 SE Stark Ave 503-777-0727.) ( \ \ 107) Portland Church of Religious Science is a liber al. open, progressive New Thought community welcom ing everyone to discover the spmt withm Change your thinking, change your life 1 (10 am Sunday meditation. 1030 am service and ¡urnor church. 6 3 0 pm Wednesday prayer circle 3983 NE 112th Ave 503 261 0 6 7 7 )0 1 /0 2 ) Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new moon. Open to all men seeking alternative spmtual growth and community Coffee hours start 9 30 am Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave (5032350826 otter@pcez co m ) (11 /02> SisterSpirit offers women s spmtuality celebrations, discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and classes Schedule o f events available All women are welcome (Suite 102 3430 SE Belmont St Mailing St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship. (9.30 am Sunday 806 NE Alberta St 503 281-4429 ) (11/02) St. James Lutheran Church, a Reconciled in Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for traditional, liturgical worship where we expenence God's reconcil ing love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am Sunday 1315 SW Park Ave. 503-227 2439 ) 0 1/02) Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO ) of St Philip Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass fo l lowed by a social. (7 3 0 pm Friday Paulist Center. 2408S E 16thAve. 5 0 3 -2 3 1 4 9 5 5 )( 11/02) St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel » coming all people since 1863 (12 10 pm Wednesday and 745 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child care at 10 am Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street 503-223-6424) (11/02) Waveriy Heights Church (U C C ) is open and affirm ing with worship, children's school and child care. (10 am Sunday. 3300 SE Woodward St 503 238-1337. www.wavedyucc.org.) (11 /02) W y'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation is an open and liberal religious community offenng mter- generational services and religious education for chil dren It welcomes gay. lesbian, bi and trans members Nurtures spmtual growth and promotes living by Unitarian Universalist principles (4 pm Sunday 3915 SE Steele St. 503-777-3704 w w w w yeast.pnw duuaorg.H 1 1 /02) Zion United Church of Christ. an open and affirm ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi, trans and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a Christ-centered, warm, caring, m ultiage/race/cultural faith community ( I I am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd Ave . Gresham 503 665-8741) (11/02) YOUTH Metro: Youth Flavors, a program of MultiQueer and Brother to Brother, is a social support group for sexual minonty youth of color 24 and younger. Meets every other Sunday for food and socializing. Regular events and activ ities. (Des 503-228-3892 or des@lmfamily.org Stephan 503417-7991 or hey_stephan@hotmail.com.) (11/02) The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bias in K -12 schools. (12700 SW North Dakota St.. Suite 180. *129. Tigard. OR 97223. 503-525-1177 glsen@glsenoregon org wwwglsenoregon.org.H1 1/02) MultiQueer. a program of Love Makes a Family, pro vides advocacy to sexual minonty youth Offers resources and support in the community and the school systems, with a focus on support for youth of color (Des 503228-3892 des@ 1m fam ilyorg)(1 1/02) Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can’t qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle exchange services that include those who inject hor mones. Can provide transitional housing for youth 20 and younger as well as for those HIV+ and younger than 23. Also plays host to VOICES (Voices of Individual and Community Empowerment from the Streets), a self-support group fo r queer youth Needs volunteers of all ages. (10 am-6 pm Monday Friday 1132 SW 13th Ave. 503-535-3800. ww w outsidein.org.H 1 1 /02) Vanguard Youth Sarvicas. a program o f Cascadia Behavioral Healthcare, offers support and recreation to gay, lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger. Programs include: Clackam as County Sexual Minority Youth Connection (C O SM Y C ) pro vides opportunities for queer and questioning kids to get together for free, fun and supportive social activi ties Also one-on-one support and referrals to Clackamas County service providers. (503-969-0060 cosmycyouth@yahoo.com) Expression is a free art/expression support group in Gresham for queer youth. Hang out and have fun every Friday1 (Jonathan 503872-9664. ext. 28 ) Pride Project brings togeth er Washington County queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social events Also information, referral and advocacy services in Washington County (M olly 503-260-5792 motly@pndeprotect o rg ) Sexusl Minority Youth Recreation Center (S M Y R Q W ashington Spirituality Abundant Life Center is A New Thought Community for spmtual awakening and transforming lives through love. A safe place where children learn to embody spmtual prinaples (W a rn Sunday 10006NE Ninth Ave . Vancouver 360-5732626 )1 11/02) East Vancouver United Methodist Church is reconciling and welcoming (10 am Sunday 5701 M acArthur Blvd 360-693-4761 ourcladicountycolum bian.com /273/. M l 1 /02) First Congregational Church. United Church of Christ, holds two Sunday services, traditional and "less traditional" m an open and affirming congregation (1220 NE 68th S t . Vancouver 360-693 1476. vanucc@ aolcom ) (11 /02) God's Holy Territory offers a spmt-hDed worship expenence. seeking God for holiness and wholeness For gay. lesbian, bi. trans and straight Everyone wel come1 (11 am Sunday. 7 pm Thursday Bible study and prayer 1500 NE 49th St.. Vancouver 360-885 9461. gmbear68@netzero net ) (11/02) Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist Fellowship a home for the liberal religwus spmt (10 am Sunday 4505 E 18th S t . Vancouver 360695 1891 )(1 1 /0 2 ) Willamette Valley Spirituality First Cong reget Iona I Church United Church of offers drop-in computer access, pool tables and an informal place to hang out Weekly youth support groups includes Trans Youth Group and Personal Deity Proxy (a creative group). (4-8 pm Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-midnight Friday and Saturday 2100 SE Belmont St 503-8729664 TTY 503-2319286 www smyre o rg ) Youth H IV/STD Prevention Project provides fun and educational programs along with counseling and testing to queer youth in a friendly, relaxed environment. (5038729664 )(1 1/02) Washington Youth Tripie Point offers education, support and advocacy to gay, lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth m Vancouver. Wash Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base ment o f Youth House. 1112 Columbia St. m Vancouver (John 360695 1 3 2 5 )0 1 /0 2 ) Willamette Valley: Youth Gay, Leebian, Bi, Tranagender and Questioning Youth Group forages 13 to 18 offers support, infor mation and fun xi Eugene Free, confidential, adult fac*- tated (Drop n 4 6 pm Friday Amazon Community Center. 2700 Hilyard S t 541684 3 4 6 6) (11702) Leebian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday m Eugene (5 pm Komona Center. 1414 Kincaid St 541346 1134) (11/02) 11 New York Times announcement trumps ceremony D ear M s . B ehavior : My boyfriend, Richard, and I had not really considered mar riage until The New York Times began to publish same-sex wed ding announcements. Now Richard is desperate to marry me. He seems to be con vinced that an announcement in the Times will somehow validate homosexuali ty in general, his wor thiness as a human being and our specific love. I’m devoted to Richard, and we’ve been together for seven years. I don’t feel strongly about the marriage issue either way, but I want him to be happy. We’ve already sent out invitations for a June wedding in Vermont. But I’m disturbed that Richard talks far less about our actual wedding than he does about our photo appearing in the Times. He has already dragged me to three different photographers and hired a publicist to write our blurb. I’ve tried to tell him there’s no guarantee we’ll be chosen to appear, but he dismisses me. 1 can only imag ine they get hundreds of submissions every week. I’m afraid Richard will have a break down if we don’t get in. How can we make sure our photo will be included? — Richard’s Boyfriend Lester D ear R ichard ’ s B oyfriend L ester : It would be interesting to measure whether the numbers of queers flock ing to the altar has actually increased during the past couple of months since the Times made its announce ment about including celebrations of gay and lesbian commitments. You haven’t mentioned your career or Richard’s. Being a neuro surgeon or being related to someone who discovered a cancer drug would make you likely candidates for a homo wedding announcement in the Times. So would being related to a very rich socialite or writing a best-selling book (preferably a literary novel, not a primer on frottage). Having com mitted a white-collar crime or large social indiscretion could probably go either way. Sometimes people try to include special items in their package to make it more appealing. Ms. Behavior would advise against including things like marijuana brownies or nude pho tos from your fifth anniversary party. One attractive photo is all you need. Being pretty is definitely a plus, particularly if you have big white teeth and coiffed hair. Unfortunately, being shallow won’t help. D ear M s . B ehavior : 1 met this woman and really fell for her. She seemed great at first with lots of similar interests but ulti mately turned out to be something of a cold fish, a weirdo and a control freak. This was a shock to me, and 1 figured it out slowly because 1 think I just wanted her to be “The One." Now that it’s clear to us both that nothing is going to happen, we’re trying to be friends. 1 let her borrow my car, for instance; 1 helped her move her things when she got a new apart ment. I call her once in a while just to talk. But 1 find she’s kind of cold as a friend now, too, which definitely wasn’t the case when 1 was first getting to know her. Also, she’s said a few things that really bug me, like she knows “1 still have feelings for her” and “wishes I’d get over her.” Frankly, I think 1 am over her, but I guess I’m having trouble get ting over the fact that she’s kind of a jerk. For instance, she’s snobby about other people’s vocabulary and clothes. I find it kind of shocking, but I can’t quite let go. Why is that? What should 1 do? It pisses me off when she acts like she knows how I feel. I’m much more complex than her ridiculous view of me as brokenhearted. How can I get her to understand that? —Confused D ear C onfused : It sounds like you’ve managed to get yourself into an S/M relationship without the benefit of sex. What’s in it for you? Humiliation, probably. You wanted her to be “The One,” but she’s clearly not. Now the “friend ship” is all about what you can do for her: help her move, lend her your car, etc. You’ve described her as “a cold fish, a weirdo and a control freak,” while she treats you like a nuisance because you have feelings for her. You’d probably benefit from thera py, where you’ll likely find you’re still trying to win the approval of one of your cold parents. Recognizing this over and over and talking about it ad nauseam in therapy might help. It doesn’t matter why you feel you “can’t quite let go”; try to let go anyway while you still have a shred of dignity. You’ll feel a lot better if you do. JT1 © Meryl Cohn 2002 M eryl C ohn is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifflin). Her Internet site is www.msbehavior.com. Send questions or correspondence to msbehavior@aol. com.
