novBflibflf IS. 2002
ADVICE
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C hrist is an open and affirm
ing congregation offering
worship and church school
Child care provided and
wheelchair accessible. (9 am
Sunday learning hour. 10 am
worship. 700 Manon S t NE.
Salem. 503 363 3660 )
( 11 / 02 )
Page Jordan’s
photography is on
display at the
lesbian-owned
coffee shop Haven
through Nov. 30
M om lngside United
Methodist Church is a rec
onciling congregation where
everyone is welcome to partic
ipate in the full life o f the con
gregation (8 3 0 and I I am
Sunday. 3674 12th S t SE.
Salem 503-364-5013.)
( 11 / 02 )
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>
•v
Sacred Sou ls honors all
sacred paths, promotes
peace and strives to create
an environment that supports
and prom otes interfaith dia
logue M eets at the Oregon
School of Massage
(6 30-8 pm Sunday 440 Ferry
St. SE. Salem
wholhlth@aol.com.
www sacredsouls o rg )
K
jü
( 11 / 02 )
Congregation P'nai O r (Faces of Light) is a vibrant,
egalitanan. Jewish Renewal congregation in Portland.
Meets several times a month in various locations.
(PO Box 42187. Portland. OR 97242 0187.
503-248-4500. w w w pnaiorpdxorg! (1 1/02)
address PO Box 9246. Portland. OR 97207
503-736-3297. sistersp@ teleport.com ) ( 1 1/02)
(503-262-6947) (1 1/02)
Spirit Circle is fo r lesbian, bisexual or transgendered
women seeking a welcoming community in the Catholic
church M eets every third Thursday in the Nativity
School of St. Andrew's Church (7 pm 806 NE Alberta
St. lbtspintcircle@ yahoo.com.) (5/03)
Eastrose Fellowship Unitarian Universalist
Southm inster Presbyterian Church is a chal
a welcoming congregation, offers Sunday service
and children’s religious education. (10:30 am.
1133 NE 181st A ve. Gresham 503-6652628
easlrose@ teteport.com.) (5/03)
lenging. supportive community that welcomes all peo
ple. It is the first More Light Presbyterian Church in
Oregon. Sunday school and nursery care (10 am
Sunday 12250 SW Denney Road. Beaverton
503-644-2073. staff@southmm.com.) (11 /02)
Dignity Portland meets for Mass on Sundays.
Faith United Methodist Church is a welcoming
community of Chnstians in Troutdale that values and
encourages all people in finding a place of belonging in
the family of God. Sunday worship at 10:15 am. Adult
Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10 30 am
Wednesday Prayers 6-6 30 pm (27400 SE Stark St
503-661-4520. M il /02)
First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and
affirming liberal religious community offering a wide
range of programs to nurture spmtual growth, commu
nity and social |ustice Sunday service 10 am
(1011 SW 12th Ave 503228-6389
www hrstunitananportland.org.) (11 /0 2 )
First United Methodist Church o f Portland, a w el
coming and reconciling congregation, believes no one
is left out in God's family Sexual minonty potlucks held
monthly. (10 30 am Sunday 1838 SW Jefferson St.
503-228-3195 www fum cpdx.org) (11/02)
Grace Space is a New Thought spiritual center dedi
cated to offenng ways to experience Spmt. Sunday
evening celebrations with Rev Stephanie Torres,
Conscious Breathing experiences. Chanting, Healing
Services. Meditation classes and a miracles study
group. (5 pm Bndgeport Community Church.
621 NE 76th Ave. 503-287-321 6 )0 1 /0 2 )
Integrity is a group of GLBT Episcopalians and
fnends. Vanous locations throughout Oregon
(Bruce Mason. Regional D irector 503-286-9111 or
brucepdxor@attbi com. www mtegntyusa o rg ) (11 /02)
Interfaith Spiritual Center houses spmtual direc
tors from vanous world religious traditions, who are
available for guidance, classes and retreats (Second
Floor. 3910 SE 11th Ave 503 233-2026. ext 3
www mterfaithspmtualcenter com. X 1 1/02)
Metanoia Peace Community United Methodist
Church is a "house church." bnnging gay and straight
together (Daily prayer 7 20 am. Sunday gathenng
5 pm. 2116 NE 18th Ave 503-281-3697
www tearsoupcom /m etanoia.) (W 0 2 )
Metropolitan Community Church of Portland
holds ecumenical Sunday morning worship services at
9 and 11 am. Sunday school for children is held during
the 11 am worshp service. (2400 NE Broadway
503 281 8868 mfo@ mccportlandcom.)(1 1 /02)
Portland Center for Spiritual Growth in the
Unity Church building invites you to celebrate your spir
ituality with the Revs. Casey and Berdell M offett
Chaney Liberal, practical; all are welcome (5 pm
Sunday service . 7:30-9 pm Monday Spmtual Pnnciple
Ja b Group: 4-4 40 pm Sunday Rescuing the Bible from
the Right Wing Discussion Group 4525 SE Stark Ave
503-777-0727.) ( \ \ 107)
Portland Church of Religious Science is a liber
al. open, progressive New Thought community welcom
ing everyone to discover the spmt withm Change your
thinking, change your life 1 (10 am Sunday meditation.
1030 am service and ¡urnor church. 6 3 0 pm
Wednesday prayer circle 3983 NE 112th Ave
503 261 0 6 7 7 )0 1 /0 2 )
Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a month with
potlucks and circles at the full moon and the new
moon. Open to all men seeking alternative spmtual
growth and community Coffee hours start 9 30 am
Saturdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse. 201 SE 12th Ave
(5032350826 otter@pcez co m ) (11 /02>
SisterSpirit offers women s spmtuality celebrations,
discussion groups, a drumming circle, workshops and
classes Schedule o f events available All women are
welcome (Suite 102 3430 SE Belmont St Mailing
St. Andrew Catholic Church invites all to join a
diverse faith community for prayer and fellowship. (9.30 am
Sunday 806 NE Alberta St 503 281-4429 ) (11/02)
St. James Lutheran Church, a Reconciled in
Chnst congregation, welcomes all people for traditional,
liturgical worship where we expenence God's reconcil
ing love that sets all people free (9 and 11 am Sunday
1315 SW Park Ave. 503-227 2439 ) 0 1/02)
Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO ) of St Philip
Nen Catholic Church celebrates an affirming Mass fo l
lowed by a social. (7 3 0 pm Friday Paulist Center.
2408S E 16thAve. 5 0 3 -2 3 1 4 9 5 5 )( 11/02)
St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel
» coming all people since 1863 (12 10 pm Wednesday
and 745 and 10 am Sunday Sunday school and child
care at 10 am Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street
503-223-6424) (11/02)
Waveriy Heights Church (U C C ) is open and
affirm ing with worship, children's school and child care.
(10 am Sunday. 3300 SE Woodward St 503 238-1337.
www.wavedyucc.org.) (11 /02)
W y'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation
is an open and liberal religious community offenng mter-
generational services and religious education for chil
dren It welcomes gay. lesbian, bi and trans members
Nurtures spmtual growth and promotes living by
Unitarian Universalist principles (4 pm Sunday
3915 SE Steele St. 503-777-3704
w w w w yeast.pnw duuaorg.H 1 1 /02)
Zion United Church of Christ. an open and
affirm ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi, trans
and heterosexual people who wish to worship in a
Christ-centered, warm, caring, m ultiage/race/cultural
faith community ( I I am Sunday 2025 NE 23rd Ave .
Gresham 503 665-8741) (11/02)
YOUTH
Metro: Youth
Flavors, a program of MultiQueer and Brother to
Brother, is a social support group for sexual minonty
youth of color 24 and younger. Meets every other
Sunday for food and socializing. Regular events and activ
ities. (Des 503-228-3892 or des@lmfamily.org Stephan
503417-7991 or hey_stephan@hotmail.com.) (11/02)
The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education
Network (GLSEN) fights to end anti-gay bias in K -12
schools. (12700 SW North Dakota St.. Suite 180.
*129. Tigard. OR 97223. 503-525-1177
glsen@glsenoregon org wwwglsenoregon.org.H1 1/02)
MultiQueer. a program of Love Makes a Family, pro
vides advocacy to sexual minonty youth Offers
resources and support in the community and the school
systems, with a focus on support for youth of color
(Des 503228-3892 des@ 1m fam ilyorg)(1 1/02)
Outside In operates a clinic for anyone who can’t
qualify for the Oregon Health Plan as well as needle
exchange services that include those who inject hor
mones. Can provide transitional housing for youth 20
and younger as well as for those HIV+ and younger
than 23. Also plays host to VOICES (Voices of
Individual and Community Empowerment from the
Streets), a self-support group fo r queer youth Needs
volunteers of all ages. (10 am-6 pm Monday Friday
1132 SW 13th Ave. 503-535-3800.
ww w outsidein.org.H 1 1 /02)
Vanguard Youth Sarvicas. a program o f Cascadia
Behavioral Healthcare, offers support and recreation to
gay, lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger.
Programs include: Clackam as County Sexual
Minority Youth Connection (C O SM Y C ) pro
vides opportunities for queer and questioning kids to
get together for free, fun and supportive social activi
ties Also one-on-one support and referrals to
Clackamas County service providers. (503-969-0060
cosmycyouth@yahoo.com) Expression is a free
art/expression support group in Gresham for queer
youth. Hang out and have fun every Friday1 (Jonathan
503872-9664. ext. 28 ) Pride Project brings togeth
er Washington County queer and questioning youth to
plan and attend monthly social events Also information,
referral and advocacy services in Washington County
(M olly 503-260-5792 motly@pndeprotect o rg ) Sexusl
Minority Youth Recreation Center (S M Y R Q
W ashington Spirituality
Abundant Life Center is A New Thought
Community for spmtual awakening and transforming
lives through love. A safe place where children learn to
embody spmtual prinaples (W a rn Sunday 10006NE
Ninth Ave . Vancouver 360-5732626 )1 11/02)
East Vancouver United Methodist Church is
reconciling and welcoming (10 am Sunday
5701 M acArthur Blvd 360-693-4761
ourcladicountycolum bian.com /273/. M l 1 /02)
First Congregational Church. United Church of
Christ, holds two Sunday services, traditional and "less
traditional" m an open and affirming congregation
(1220 NE 68th S t . Vancouver 360-693 1476.
vanucc@ aolcom ) (11 /02)
God's Holy Territory offers a spmt-hDed worship
expenence. seeking God for holiness and wholeness
For gay. lesbian, bi. trans and straight Everyone wel
come1 (11 am Sunday. 7 pm Thursday Bible study and
prayer 1500 NE 49th St.. Vancouver 360-885 9461.
gmbear68@netzero net ) (11/02)
Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist
Fellowship a home for the liberal religwus spmt
(10 am Sunday 4505 E 18th S t . Vancouver
360695 1891 )(1 1 /0 2 )
Willamette Valley Spirituality
First Cong reget Iona I Church United Church of
offers drop-in computer access, pool tables and an
informal place to hang out Weekly youth support
groups includes Trans Youth Group and Personal Deity
Proxy (a creative group). (4-8 pm Monday and
Wednesday. 4 pm-midnight Friday and Saturday
2100 SE Belmont St 503-8729664 TTY
503-2319286 www smyre o rg ) Youth H IV/STD
Prevention Project provides fun and educational
programs along with counseling and testing to queer
youth in a friendly, relaxed environment.
(5038729664 )(1 1/02)
Washington Youth
Tripie Point offers education, support and advocacy
to gay, lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth m
Vancouver. Wash Meets 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base
ment o f Youth House. 1112 Columbia St. m Vancouver
(John 360695 1 3 2 5 )0 1 /0 2 )
Willamette Valley: Youth
Gay, Leebian, Bi, Tranagender and Questioning
Youth Group forages 13 to 18 offers support, infor
mation and fun xi Eugene Free, confidential, adult fac*-
tated (Drop n 4 6 pm Friday Amazon Community
Center. 2700 Hilyard S t 541684 3 4 6 6) (11702)
Leebian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Youth
Group for ages 25 and younger meets every Monday
m Eugene (5 pm Komona Center. 1414 Kincaid St
541346 1134) (11/02)
11
New York Times announcement
trumps ceremony
D ear M s . B ehavior :
My boyfriend,
Richard, and I had not
really considered mar
riage until The New
York Times began to
publish same-sex wed
ding announcements.
Now Richard is
desperate to marry me.
He seems to be con
vinced that an
announcement in the
Times will somehow
validate homosexuali
ty in general, his wor
thiness as a human
being and our specific love.
I’m devoted to Richard, and we’ve
been together for seven years. I don’t
feel strongly about the marriage issue
either way, but I want him to be
happy.
We’ve already sent out invitations
for a June wedding in Vermont. But
I’m disturbed that Richard talks far
less about our actual wedding than he
does about our photo appearing in the
Times. He has already dragged me to
three different photographers and
hired a publicist to write our blurb.
I’ve tried to tell him there’s no
guarantee we’ll be chosen to appear,
but he dismisses me. 1 can only imag
ine they get hundreds of submissions
every week.
I’m afraid Richard will have a break
down if we don’t get in. How can we
make sure our photo will be included?
— Richard’s Boyfriend Lester
D ear R ichard ’ s B oyfriend L ester :
It would be interesting to measure
whether the numbers of queers flock
ing to the altar has actually increased
during the past couple of months
since the Times made its announce
ment about including celebrations of
gay and lesbian commitments.
You haven’t mentioned your
career or Richard’s. Being a neuro
surgeon or being related to someone
who discovered a cancer drug would
make you likely candidates for a
homo wedding announcement in
the Times.
So would being related to a very
rich socialite or writing a best-selling
book (preferably a literary novel, not
a primer on frottage). Having com
mitted a white-collar crime or large
social indiscretion could probably go
either way.
Sometimes people try to include
special items in their package to make
it more appealing. Ms. Behavior
would advise against including things
like marijuana brownies or nude pho
tos from your fifth anniversary party.
One attractive photo is all you
need. Being pretty is definitely a plus,
particularly if you have big white
teeth and coiffed hair. Unfortunately,
being shallow won’t help.
D ear M s . B ehavior :
1 met this woman and really fell
for her. She seemed great at first
with lots of similar
interests but ulti
mately turned out to
be something of a
cold fish, a weirdo
and a control freak.
This was a shock to
me, and 1 figured it
out slowly because 1
think I just wanted
her to be “The One."
Now that it’s
clear to us both that
nothing is going to
happen, we’re trying
to be friends. 1 let her
borrow my car, for
instance; 1 helped her move her
things when she got a new apart
ment. I call her once in a while just
to talk.
But 1 find she’s kind of cold as a
friend now, too, which definitely wasn’t
the case when 1 was first getting to
know her. Also, she’s said a few things
that really bug me, like she knows “1
still have feelings for her” and “wishes
I’d get over her.”
Frankly, I think 1 am over her,
but I guess I’m having trouble get
ting over the fact that she’s kind of
a jerk. For instance, she’s snobby
about other people’s vocabulary and
clothes.
I find it kind of shocking, but I
can’t quite let go. Why is that? What
should 1 do?
It pisses me off when she acts like
she knows how I feel. I’m much more
complex than her ridiculous view of
me as brokenhearted. How can I get
her to understand that?
—Confused
D ear C onfused :
It sounds like you’ve managed to
get yourself into an S/M relationship
without the benefit of sex. What’s in
it for you? Humiliation, probably.
You wanted her to be “The One,”
but she’s clearly not. Now the “friend
ship” is all about what you can do for
her: help her move, lend her your car,
etc. You’ve described her as “a cold
fish, a weirdo and a control freak,”
while she treats you like a nuisance
because you have feelings for her.
You’d probably benefit from thera
py, where you’ll likely find you’re still
trying to win the approval of one of
your cold parents. Recognizing this
over and over and talking about it ad
nauseam in therapy might help.
It doesn’t matter why you feel
you “can’t quite let go”; try to let go
anyway while you still have a shred
of dignity. You’ll feel a lot better if
you do. JT1
© Meryl Cohn 2002
M eryl C ohn is the author of Do
What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to
Gay and Lesbian Etiquette
(Houghton Mifflin). Her Internet site
is www.msbehavior.com. Send
questions or correspondence to
msbehavior@aol. com.