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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 1, 2002)
- L 2002 ’HUMOR ..............v .............. Takin' care of business I t ’s g e t t in ’ h o t, Together, wherever we go in h e r e .... G reat D ance F loor DJ M att ' s H ot A ll M ale , A ll R E V U T hree S isters T a T ues -T hur (N o C o v e r ) 1125 SW S tark 5 0 3 .2 2 8 . 4 . S la u < 3 |i> f e r ' A JL < 219 NW Davis Street A Benefit tor Projeet Quest & I he Humane Societv k A Pimps & Hookers Masquerade! < cc Slaughters P'ese’ i 1 - th e HO O KEF BALL! vis,, oM for details US &>| Northbank g a y -o w n e d & o p e ra te d UPCOMING EVENTS Smirnoff Party! 11/01 The Hooker’ Ball 11/15 The Harvest Party! 11/29 CC’s Christmas Party! 12/14 CC’s New Years Eve ’03 12/31 Slaughters Lounge Great Food and Drinks 7 Days a Week! jvw wxc^slau^^ FRIDAYS High Energy Dance! SATURDAYS High Energy Dance! SUNDAYS Latino Night! MONDAYS Live Dancers! TUESDAYS Karaoke with Klass WEDNESDAYS Boot Scootin’ Country Line Dance Lessons @ 8 THURSDAY Latin Dance Night! Latin Dance lesson @ 8 e l e o m e t o 106 W 6th St Vancouver, WA 360-695-3862 NEW OWNERS NEW MANAGEMENT NEW ATTITUDE We w elcom e ALL diversities Hours Tues&Wed - 12pm- 12am Thurs - 12pm-lam Fri&Sat - 12pm-2 am Sun - 12pm- 12am “Make us your first & last stop’ Th L ( iorncr on Sr.uk vSi SW I I rh XM.227ASS- S0L224.M4I Pinochle Tournament Novem ber 23rd , 4 pm Watch for details » TLi ~ Casual Dining ~ ~ Lounge~ ~ Game Room ~ ~ Open 4:00 Daily ~ ell, Halloween has come and gone, f < s which means Floyd and 1 have been Igf | | together 16 years. (We met in the H third grade, of course.) We’re not usually big on presents, hut this year we gave ourselves the best Hallowversary gift ever: We sold our store. T h at’s right, after five years o f manufactur ing a boring hut necessary product we are free at last, free at last, thank G od almighty, free at last. This is how we operate: No matter what one of us does for a living, the other person gets sucked into it— as in the word “sucker.” Call it cooperation, call it codependency; we don’t ask questions. “Together, wherever we go,” that’s our motto. So, despite having no business acumen whatsoever, 1 went to work at what 1 came to think of affectionately as I Hate My Job Inc. You see, after watching Floyd endure years of me fighting and scratching my way to the middle as a resoundingly mediocre opera singer, I thought it only right to help him ful fill his dream of running his own business. (And, let’s face it, I needed a job and had few skills other than the ability to sing loudly in several languages.) With the exception of an institutionalized mental patient, I can’t imagine a person more unequipped to become a businessman. I couldn’t even operate a staple remover prop erly. The first month we were in business, 1 put my head down on the desk and cried every day. And with good reason. Our heat broke in the winter, our air condi tioning in the summer. (“It’s not meant to withstand 100-degree temperatures,” our property manager told us. “What the hell is it for then?” I asked.) The store flooded in the fall and, yes, was actually stnjck by lightning in the spring. It was like the lxx>k of Job; all I needed to do was break out in boils. Oh, wait, that happened, too. I lost sleep and gained weight. I suf fered from headaches, backaches and stom achaches. I had so many aches 1 had scram bled aches. A job you hate is like a vampire; it can suck the very life out of you. One night after yet another 14-hour day, I cooked up some zucchini for pasta primavera on|y to real ize afterward that I had stir-fried a cucumber. I then proceeded to pour the spaghetti in the sink to drain without the benefit of putting a colander there first. Too tired to care, I fished a pound of pasta out of the garbage disposal, drowned it in olive oil and called it dinner. THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MARC by M a r c Acito O f course, there were some days I didn’t hate my job— like on the weekends, for instance. But most mornings I had to peel myself out of bed like an old Band-Aid stuck to the skin. Not just anybody can do a job they loathe; it requires real mental strength to marinate in all that discontent and resentment. The worst were the networking meetings. There I’d he at Dark O ’Clock listening to some Vice President o f Paper Clips go on about a job even more soul-killingly dull than mine, willing to chew off my own foot to escape (hut settling instead for the Costco muffins), and I’d think, “T his isn’t the Cham ber o f Com merce— it’s the Chamber of Horrors.” 1 tried to make it fun, honest. Our store was a franchise, so one day in response to a request from the corporate office for ways in which they could help us better, I typed a quick e-mail that said, “Lap dances would he nice.” I hit “send,” not realizing 1 was distrib uting it to 400 franchisees nationwide. Store owners in the Bible Belt were not amused. Sometimes customers would call and say, “I’m looking for a quote,” and I’d say, “Sure, how about ‘To thine own self he true’? Or ‘Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn’ .r ’ Maybe I was just trying to y-vu v m remind myself. who I was and why m » r— - I was doing what I f /J \ I was doing. Being Mr. // \ J Business Owner wasn't being true to mine own self, hut it was for mine own partner, and he is the love of my life. So I gave a damn. And when the opportu nity to sell came along, Floyd turned to me and said: “I want to do this for you. I want you to have your dreams, too.” You see, that’s just how we operate. Together, wherever we go. And that, my friends, is TTietjospel Accord ing to Marc. j H M arc A cito has now 1 20 N W Third Avenue, Portland, OR 97209 • (503) 224 3285 Parking Validated Smart Park Davis & Front www hobos citysearch com S ucceeding at business felt to me like passing a test in school. I was happy to make the grade hut wished I hadn’t been tested in the first place. joined the ranks o f the unem ployed an d couldn't be happier about it. W rite him a t m arcacito@ attbi .com .
