Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 2, 2002)
jgm t 2. 2002 ADVICE ..............v .............. E astro s* Fellow ship Unitarian U niversalist grow th and community. C offee hours start 9:30 am a w elcom ing congregation, o ffe rs S u n d a y se rvice Satu rdays at 3 Fnends Coffeehouse. 201 S E 12th Ave. and ch ild re n 's religio u s education at 10:30 am (503 235-0826 otter@pcez.com .)(1 1/02) (1133 N E 181st Ave.. Gresham . 50 3 66 5 2 6 2 8 eastrose@teleport.com .) (11 /02) SiatorSpirit offers w om en's spintuality celebrations, d iscu ssio n groups, a drum m ing circle, w orksh ops and Faith United Methodist Church is a w elcom ing c la sse s Schedule of events available All w om en are com m unity of C h n stian s in Troutdale that values and encourages all people in finding a place of belonging in the family of G o d Su n day w orship at 10:15 am; Adult w elcom e (Suite 102. 3430 S E Belmont S t Mailing ( I I am Sunday. 7 pm Thursday Bible study and prayer 1500 N E 49th St.. Vancouver 360-885 9461. gmbear68@netzero.net.) (11/02) Michael Servetus Unitarian Universalist Fellowship a hom e for the liberal religious spint. (10 am Sunday 4505 E 18th St . Vancouver 360-695-189I.H U /02) address: P O Box 9246. Portland. O R 97207. 503-736-3297 sistersp@teleport.com.)(\ 1/02) Education at 9 am; children and youth at 10:30 am. Southm instor Presbyterian Church is a chal W ednesday Prayers 6-6:30 pm. (27400 S E Stark St. lenging. supportive com m unity that w elcom es all peo 503-661-4520.H U /02 ) ple. It is the first M o re Light Presbyterian C hurch in First Unitarian Church of Portland is an open and O regon. Su n d ay school and nursery care. (10 am affirming liberal religious community offering a wide range Sunday. 12250 S W Denney Road. Beaverton 503 644-2073 staff@southmin.com.) (11/02) of program s to nurture spmtual growth, community and social justice. Sunday service 10 am. (1011 S W 12th Ave. 503228-6389 wwwfirstumtananportlandorg.) (11 /02) Gay and Lesbian Outreach (GALO ) of St. Philip Neri Catholic Church celebrates an affirm First United Methodist Church of Portland, a ing M a ss followed by a social. (7.30pm Friday. Paulist w elcom ing and reconciling congregation, believes no Center. 2408 S E 16th Ave. 503 2 3 1 4 9 5 5 ) U 1/02) one is left out in G o d 's family Sexual m inonty potlucks St. Stephen's Episcopal Church has been wel held monthly. (10:30 am Sunday. 1838 S W Jefferson com ing all people since 1863. (12:10 pm W ednesday St 503-228-3195 www.fumcpdx.org.) (U/OH) and 7 4 5 and 10 am Sunday. Sunday school and child care at 10 am Southwest 13th Avenue at Clay Street 503 22 3-642 4) (11/02) Grace Space is a N ew Thought spiritual center dedi cated to offenng w ays to experience Spirit Su n d ay evening celebrations with Rev. Stephanie Torres. C o n sc io u s Breathing experiences. Chanting, H ealing Service s. Meditation c la sse s and a m iracles study 76th Ave 503 287-3216.) (11/02) Willamette Valley: Spirituality First Congregational Church, United Church of Christ is an open and affirming congregation offer ing w orship and church school Child care provided and w heelchair accessible. (9 am Sunday learning hour. 10 am worship. 700 Marion St. NE. Salem. 503-363-3660.) (11/02) M om ingside United Methodist Church is a rec onciling congregation where everyone is w elcom e to participate in the full life of the congregation (8.30 and 11 am Sunday. 3674 12th St. SE. Salem. 503-364-5013.) (U / 02) Sacred S o u ls h o n o rs all sacre d paths, prom otes peace and strive s to create an environm ent that su p po rts and prom otes interfaith dialogue M e e ts at the O re go n S c h o o l o f M a ssa g e . (6:30-8 pm Sunday. affirm ing with w orship, children's school and child care. 440 Ferry St. SE. Salem, wholhlth@aol.com. w w w sacredsouls org . ) ( 1 1 /02) W y'east Unitarian Universalist Congregation Integrity is a group of G L B T Episcopalians and is an open and liberal religious com m unity offenng mter- fnends V an ou s locations throughout O regon. generational se rvice s and religious education for chil (Bruce Mason. Regional Director 503-286-9111 or brucepdxor@attbi com. www mtegntyusa org.) (11/02) dren It w elcom es gay. lesbian, bi and trans m em bers. N urtures spintual grow th and prom otes living by Interfaith Spiritual Cantor. Spintual directors from Unitarian U niversalist principles. (4 pm Sunday. vanous world religious traditions are available for guidance. 3915 S E Steele St-. 503-777-3704 Metro: Youth Flavors, a program of M ultiQ ueer and Brother to Brother, is a social support group for sexual minority youth of color 24 and younger M e e ts every other Sunday for food and socializing. Regular events and Interstate Firehouse Cultural Center presents work from the Arts for New Immigrants program through Aug. 30 K. activities. (D es 503-228-3892 or des@lmfamily.org. Stephan 503-417-7991 or hey_stephan@hotmail.com.) ( 11 / 02 ) Gay, Lasbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN ) fights to end anti-gay bias in The K-12 schools. (12700 S W North Dakota St.. Suite 180. 4129. Tigard. O R 97223. 503-525-1177. glsen@glsenoregon org www glsenoregon org.) ( 11 / 02 ) MultiQueer. a program of Love M a ke s a Family, pro vides advocacy to sexual m inonty youth. O ffers resources and support in the com m unity and the school system s, with a focus on support for youth of color. (D es 503 228-3892 des@lmfam,/y org.)(U /02) M U M Outside In operates a clinic for anyone w ho can't ft B M l > i qualify for the O regon Health Plan a s well a s needle -M exchange services that include those who inject hor m ones C an provide transitional housing for youth 20 - • Girl needs to get it; boys need to get a grip D ear M s . B ehavior : Waveriy Heights Church CUCC) is open and (10 am Sunday 3300 S E Woodward St 503-238-1337. www.wavedyucc.org.) (11 /02) group. (5 pm. Bridgeport Community Church. 621 N E Lust and tension and younger a s well a s for those H IV + and younger than 23. A lso plays host to V O IC E S (Voices of Indn/idual and Com m unity Empowerment from the Streets), a self- support group for queer youth. N e e ds volunteers of all ages. (10 am-6 pm Monday-Fnday. 1132 S W 13th Ave. 503-5353801 www.outsidein.org.) (11/02) Vanguard Youth Services, a program of C a sca d e Behavioral HealthCare. offers support and recreation to gay. lesbian, bi and trans kids 23 and younger. Program s include: Clackam as County Saxuai Minority Youth Connection (C O S M Y Q provides opportuni ties for queer and questioning kids to get together for free, fun and supportive social activities A lso one-on-one support and referrals to Clackam as County service providers. (503969-0060 cosmycyouth@yahoo.com.) Expression is a free art/expressnn support group m During the eight years of a committed lesbian re lationship, I socialized mostly with men, as I didn’t trust myself to get too close to women. (I never cheat ed; I avoided temptation like the plague.) Now that I am single, I guiltlessly enjoy the lovely company of women. The problem is I’ve become sexually attracted to these fine, straight friends. Add to it the hormones of a 30-something and a year without lovemaking, and I come precipitously close to losing my mind. I’d love to add a physical compo nent to our enjoyment of each other, but I’m not looking for a girlfriend. I don’t want to trade my friendships for one passionate evening, perhaps fol lowed by the other party considering herself a girlfriend, having to break up with her, then having to wait the requisite time to become friends again, if even allowed. (This is on the pre sumption that they would convenient ly become bi-curious in my presence.) How can 1 find out if they might be amenable to a passionate expression of my affection for them without causing offense or coming off as a presumptu ous, sex-crazed hussy or louse? (Yes, 1 have a vibrator, but it knows nothing of caresses, affection or fondness.) Should 1 just keep life simple (and dull!!) and stick to men and dead-end flirtations? Can you save me from going over the edge, or would a shove be in order? P.S. Do you really look like your picture (an attractive female with an up-do), or are you one of those men who is able to look more feminine than a natural-bom woman? — Perpetually Frustrated, Loca with Lust G resham for queer youth. Hang out and have fun every Friday1 (Jonathan 503-872-9664. ext 28.) Pride Project brings together W ashington County queer and questioning youth to plan and attend monthly social events A lso information, referral and advocacy services m W ashington County. (Molly 503-260-5792 i <<. molly@pndeproiect o ig .)S a n u A Minority Youth Recreation Canter (S M Y R Q offers drop-in com put er access, pool tables and an nform al place to hang out. W eekly youth support groups includes Trans Youth G roup and Personal Deity Proxy (a creative group). classes and retreats (Second Floor. 3910 S E 11th Ave 503233-2026. ext 3 www mterfaithspintualcenter.com.) ( 11 / 02 ) www. wyeast.pnwd. uua. org.) (11/02) Zion United Church of Christ, an open and affirm ing congregation, is open to gay. lesbian, bi. trans (4-8 pm Monday and Wednesday. 4 pm-mdnight Friday . and Saturday 2100 S E Belmont St 503-8729664 TTY 503-231 9286 w w w sm yrcorg) Youth HfV/STD Prevention P roject provides fun and educational pro Matanoia Poaco Community United Methodist Church is a "h o u se church," bnngm g gay and straight and heterosexual people w ho w ish to w orship m a gram s along with counsekng and testxig to queer youth Christ-centered, warm, caring, m ultiage/race/cultural in a friendy, relaxed environment. (503-8729664 ) together (Daily prayer 7 2 0 am. Sunday gathenng faith com m unity (11 am Sunday 2025 N E 23rd Ave.. ( 11 / 02 ) 5 pm. 2116 N E 18th Ave 503-281-3697 www tearsoup.com/metanoia) (U / 02) Gresham 503 665 8741.) (11/02) Metropolitan Community Church of Portland holds ecum enical Su n day m orning w orsN p se rvice s at 9 and 11 am Su n day school for children is held during the 11 am w orsN p service. (2400 N E Broadway W ashington Spirituality Washington: Youth Triple Point offers education, support and advocacy Abundant Life Center. A N ew Thought Com m unity to gay. lesbian, bi. trans and questioning youth m for spintual aw akening, transform ing lives through love A safe place w here children learn to em body spintual Vancouver. W ash M e e ts 6-8 pm Tuesdays in the base ment of Youth H ouse. 1112 Colum bia St. in Vancouver Portland Center for Spiritual Growth invites principles (10 am Sunday 10009 N E Ninth A v e . (John 360-695-1325 ) (11 /02) you to celebrate your spirituality with the R e v s C a se y Vancouver 360-573-2626) (11/02) 50 32 81 8868 mfo@mccpot1land. com.) (11 /02) and Berdetl M offett C haney Liberal, practical; all are welcom e. (1 0 3 0 am Sunday 4828 N E 33rd A ve 503 481 7591 . M il /02) Portland Church of Religious Science is a liber al. open, progre ssive N ew Thought com m unity w elcom mg everyone to discover the spint within C h an ge your thinking, change your life' (10 am Sunday meditation. 10 30 am service and /umor church. 6 3 0 pm W ednesday prayer circle 3983 N E 112th Ave 503 261-0677.)(U / 0 2 ) Portland Radical Faeries meet twice a m onth with potlucks and circles at the full m oon and the new m oon O pen to a l men se ekin g alternative spintual East Vancouver United Methodist Church. Reconciling, w elcom ing (10 am Sunday 5701 MacArthur Bfvd 360-693 4761 ourclarkcounty Colum bian com/273/.) (11 /02) First Congregational Church, United Church of Christ. Two Su n day services, traditional and "le ss Willamette Valley: Youth Gey, Lesbian, Bi, Trsnsgandar end Questioning Youth Group for age s 13 to 18 offers support, inform ation and fun m Eugene Free, confiden tial. adult facilitated (Drop in 4 6 pm Friday Amazon traditionar in an open and affirming congregation Community Center. 2700 hMyard St. 5 4 1 -684-3466 ) (1220 N E 68th St . Vancouver 360-693 1476 vanucc@aol co m ) (11 /02) ( 11 / 02 ) G od's Holy Territory. A spint filled w o rsh p expen Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trsnsgandar Youth Group for age s 25 and younger m eets every M onday ence seeking G o d for holiness and w holeness For in Eugene (5 pm Kom ona Center. 1414 Kincaid St gay. lesbian, bi. trans and straight Everyone w elcom e1 541 3 4 6 1 1 3 4 ) (11/02) D ear P erpetually F rustrated , L oca w ith L ust : You haven’t mentioned how many of your straight friends you’d like to fondle, although your use of the plural pronoun “they” implies more than one. So, is it two out of six? Three out of four? Ms. Behavior recommends you choose carefully and don’t sully them all. Having your way with all your friends might create discord in your social circle and prompt otherwise courteous people to call you names— like “opportunistic slut”— even if only out of jealousy or insecurity. As you already know, straight girLs do sometimes fall for lesbians, even when lesbians go to great lengths to clarify their nonromantic intentions. The last person with whom a straight woman has been intimate is most likely a straight man. This is hardly fair com petition for lesbians, who are far more practiced than straight men in both emotional expression and cunnilingus. Your “passionate expression of affection” might easily be confused with love; plus, lesbians exude pheromones that reduce inhibitions in heterosexual women. As a result, grateful straight women often become les bian cling-ons, failing to accept that with the social and economic advantages of heterosexu ality they’re also assigned somewhat mediocre sex. Instead of risking your straight-girl friendships, why not find a fun, sex positive lesbian (or sever al) with whom to enjoy erotic pleasure? Despite the rumor about lesbians and their U-Hauls, Ms. Behavior gets truck loads of letters from dykes who long for passionate sex without commitment but never meet like-minded women. Should Ms. Behavior start a fuck- buddy dating service for lesbians? P.S. Ms. Behavior has always been female but does not dress formally every day. The up-do was the creation of a homosexual stylist who was obsessed with Holly-Go-Lightly; Ms. Behavior is rarely tempted to reconstruct it. D ear M s . B ehavior : My boyfriend and 1 fight every time someone asks us how long we’ve been together. I say it’s 14 years, and he says it’s 10. We broke up for two years (mostly my idea) early in our relationship. Brad not only refuses to count our separa tion, he also won’t count the two years before the breakup (because he says our relationship wasn’t “strong” back then). 1 think it all counts. He’s my soul mate, and, once we met, 1 never stopped loving him, even when we were apart. He still gets angry when we discuss it, probably because I slept with seven or eight men during our separation. (He didn’t have sex with anyone.) We’ve agreed to let you settle it so we don’t continue to fight about it. How long should we say we’ve been together? — Brad’s Boyfriend D ear B rad ’ s B oyfriend : Ten years. Ms. Behavior uses this simple for mula for all breakup questions, even If the couple eventually get back together: The one who is left behind gets to keep the furniture. The one who is left behind gets to suffer and act offended three times longer than the partner who left. This includes crying in the supermarket for no apparent reason for a period of six months for each year the couple were together. The one who is left behind gets to decide when things started or ended. j n © Meryl Cohn 2002 MERYL C ohn is the author of Do What I Say: Ms. Behavior’s Guide to Gay and Lesbian Etiquette (Houghton Mifflin). Her Internet site is www.msbehavior.com. Send questions or correspondence to msbehavtorQaol. com.
