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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 18, 2002)
.dfiua/y !8. 2002 > > H t o u t. 11 unirti; ivi «m ew s recalls. “W hen I use to pick up the kids from baby sitters, I would ferry them over one at a time.” In the mid-1980s they moved to Silverton to expose the children to life in the country. Salem lesbian reflects on groundbreaking custody battle by Pat Young They rented a home on a horse ranch and did chores. Later they moved to ommended they do things that would look Salem. “good” in court such as avoiding gay hang “W hen the kids grew up and moved outs, not living with a lover during the trial, away, we kind of didn’t know what to do joining the PTA, going to church and so on. with ourselves,” Miller says. “We had a Or they could take a stand and say, “I’m gay good relationship, but we still felt there and I’m proud.” was more in our lives that we wanted. So “It takes strength to fight either way,” we went out and got foster children.” the handbook read. “But the women who The couple took care of two boys, ages have the courage to affirm their lives and 3 and 18 months, who just had been taken their lesbianism will win the long-range from their mother but were not complete battles. They will create the freedom we ly in the system yetL They were in the all desire. And they will make, although process of adopting the kids when probably at a price, the changes that give Blondell was killed in a car accident us space.” Jan. 6, 1995. Blondell and Miller chose the “I’m gay “A t the time, she worked for the and I’m proud” route. Woodbum schools and drove buses for They also were helped by a 1979 Ore special services,” Miller explains. “She gon Court of Appeals ruling on another drove hundreds of miles a day for over 10 custody case. Although a lower court’s years and never had an accident. Not even decision to remove the children from the a fender bender. Then she had one acci mother was upheld, the appeals court said dent and she was dead.” the ruling was valid for reasons other than Pat Miller (with son Daniel in May 2 0 0 1 ) and her Blondell went to work one day, just her sexual orientation. It also struck down partner were the first open lesbians in Oregon to get the lower court’s ruling that the mother custody of children without restriction like norm al, and on her way home stopped to help a friend whose car had broken “When all the yelling and screaming was was allowed only limited visitation privileges done,” Miller says, "the judge said our relation down. Miller believes she pulled over to back because she was a lesbian. n 1978, the project published a handbook on her car into a driveway and knew one car was ship was inherently temporary because of my So off they went to court. Miller was 20, and women’s legal rights in Oregon. It included a behind her but didn’t see the second. T he age. And that five children was too much for Blondell was 29. chapter on lesbian custody. second car hit her broadside and snapped any one parent to handle, so he split custody.” “T h e husband screamed and hollered and Although no law in Oregon said lesbians her neck. The split happened to tried to tell us that we wouldn’t be able to could not have custody, prejudice and miscon Miller did not proceed raise the boys because there wasn’t a male role ceptions were widespread. And it was up to the be the way they were living " J / j g nUSDOnO SCrB(MlB(l 0 / 7 0 with the adoption or foster model in the household. I can remember that court to determine what would be in the best anyhow. The two oldest l/ l J J a ‘ J i i U girls were with their father, tlOllBiBU OflQ ÎÎIBü Î0 ÎBlI US parenting after Blondell the kids were going to Catholic school and interest of the children. the nuns would actually come into our house The handbook explained how lesbians could and the three youngest kids f a f m m uldn't be abk tû died. It was too difficult, and she needed time to and baby-sit while we were in court,” Miller enhance their chances of getting custody. It rec were with Miller and i l l I recover. says with a laugh. Blondell. The arrangement MSB WB 0 0 / S DBCOUSB ttlBiB “I miss her a lot,” Miller But she also remembers says. “I am still having a being really scared be hard time finding a way to cause she had to testify as M iller notes, “T h at live without her and with a witness and never had was the very first time out the kids. I don’t know that open lesbians had -----iQI appeared in court before. why a person lives just to gotten custody of ch il Sh e recalls putting her live. I am still trying to learn.” dren in the state of Oregon without restric foot in her mouth when And she is learning. She has been in a few tion,” which means no limits were placed on asked where the kids were relationships, which didn’t work out the way she her participation in the family. She did not staying; she replied that had hoped, but she tried. She also had a business have to move out of the house for Blondell to they were with their in which she and some friends repaired old com gain custody. father, which made it look puters, then gave them to needy families. like he wanted them and It’s the children who really give her the iller has fond memories of the times in the couple didn’t. incentive to go on. “My kids,” as she calls them. Portland. The couple bought a house on Fortunately, her attorney And now she is proud to be a grandmother “11 came to the rescue and asked “sweat equity” and enjoyed Gay Pride, the Rose times over.” j n Festival, camping and picnics. The children Miller why the children were were very much the center of their lives. with their father. Because he P at YOUNG is a Portland free-lance writer and “I rode a motorcycle, and it was the only asked and the couple let gay and lesbian historian. transportation I had for a long time,” Miller them visit, she replied. Daniel Jr. spends quality time with Grandma last spring at Miller lives on a quiet street in a small trailer park near Salem. Her home is a place where people always feel welcome to drop in. T he neigh borhood kids know they can come to “Mamma Pat” for help when needed. However, about 20 years ago, Millers life was anything but quiet as she found herself in the middle of a groundbreaking custody battle involving her partners kids. She met Juanita Blondell in 1979 in Port land, where they both worked for the school district. M iller was in the m aintenance department, while her partner was a custodi an. They dated for a while before moving in together. “Juanita decided to get a divorce,” Miller explains. “She was kind o f dragging her feet on it.” After all, she had five children ranging in age from 4 to 9. Three girls, two boys. “We weren’t necessarily out, but we didn’t necessarily hide it either,” Miller says. “Well, we hid it from our jobs, sure, but when it came to custody, the fact that we were lesbians was going to come out in court.” They turned to the Community Law Proj ect for an attorney. T h e all-woman nonprofit collective offered legal services on a sliding- scale fee. M iller ’ s T ale I £ iud8e wasn't a male role model in W c ' h Me Utt Hutton putt eva need. Make Bender Properties your real estate home. Put your feet up and relax! Details are our business. 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