.dfiua/y !8. 2002 > > H t o u t. 11
unirti; ivi «m ew s
recalls. “W hen I use to pick up the kids from
baby sitters, I would ferry them over one at a
time.”
In the mid-1980s they moved to Silverton
to expose the children to life in the country.
Salem lesbian reflects on groundbreaking custody battle by Pat Young
They rented a home on a horse ranch
and did chores. Later they moved to
ommended they do things that would look
Salem.
“good” in court such as avoiding gay hang
“W hen the kids grew up and moved
outs, not living with a lover during the trial,
away, we kind of didn’t know what to do
joining the PTA, going to church and so on.
with ourselves,” Miller says. “We had a
Or they could take a stand and say, “I’m gay
good relationship, but we still felt there
and I’m proud.”
was more in our lives that we wanted. So
“It takes strength to fight either way,”
we went out and got foster children.”
the handbook read. “But the women who
The couple took care of two boys, ages
have the courage to affirm their lives and
3 and 18 months, who just had been taken
their lesbianism will win the long-range
from their mother but were not complete
battles. They will create the freedom we
ly in the system yetL They were in the
all desire. And they will make, although
process of adopting the kids when
probably at a price, the changes that give
Blondell was killed in a car accident
us space.”
Jan. 6, 1995.
Blondell and Miller chose the “I’m gay
“A t the time, she worked for the
and I’m proud” route.
Woodbum schools and drove buses for
They also were helped by a 1979 Ore
special services,” Miller explains. “She
gon Court of Appeals ruling on another
drove hundreds of miles a day for over 10
custody case. Although a lower court’s
years and never had an accident. Not even
decision to remove the children from the
a fender bender. Then she had one acci
mother was upheld, the appeals court said
dent and she was dead.”
the ruling was valid for reasons other than Pat Miller (with son Daniel in May 2 0 0 1 ) and her
Blondell went to work one day, just
her sexual orientation. It also struck down partner were the first open lesbians in Oregon to get
the lower court’s ruling that the mother custody of children without restriction
like norm al, and on her way home
stopped to help a friend whose car had broken
“When all the yelling and screaming was
was allowed only limited visitation privileges
done,” Miller says, "the judge said our relation down. Miller believes she pulled over to back
because she was a lesbian.
n 1978, the project published a handbook on
her car into a driveway and knew one car was
ship was inherently temporary because of my
So
off
they
went
to
court.
Miller
was
20,
and
women’s legal rights in Oregon. It included a
behind her but didn’t see the second. T he
age. And that five children was too much for
Blondell was 29.
chapter on lesbian custody.
second car hit her broadside and snapped
any one parent to handle, so he split custody.”
“T h e husband screamed and hollered and
Although no law in Oregon said lesbians
her neck.
The split happened to
tried to tell us that we wouldn’t be able to
could not have custody, prejudice and miscon
Miller did not proceed
raise the boys because there wasn’t a male role
ceptions were widespread. And it was up to the
be the way they were living " J / j g nUSDOnO SCrB(MlB(l 0 / 7 0
with the adoption or foster
model in the household. I can remember that
court to determine what would be in the best
anyhow. The two oldest
l/ l
J
J a ‘ J i i U
girls were with their father, tlOllBiBU OflQ ÎÎIBü Î0 ÎBlI US parenting after Blondell
the kids were going to Catholic school and
interest of the children.
the nuns would actually come into our house
The handbook explained how lesbians could
and the three youngest kids
f a f m m uldn't be abk tû died. It was too difficult,
and she needed time to
and baby-sit while we were in court,” Miller
enhance their chances of getting custody. It rec
were with Miller and
i
l
l
I
recover.
says with a laugh.
Blondell. The arrangement MSB WB 0 0 / S DBCOUSB ttlBiB
“I miss her a lot,” Miller
But she also remembers
says.
“I am still having a
being really scared be
hard time finding a way to
cause she had to testify as
M iller notes, “T h at
live without her and with
a witness and never had
was the very first time
out the kids. I don’t know
that open lesbians had
-----iQI
appeared in court before.
why a person lives just to
gotten custody of ch il
Sh e recalls putting her
live. I am still trying to learn.”
dren in the state of Oregon without restric
foot in her mouth when
And she is learning. She has been in a few
tion,” which means no limits were placed on
asked where the kids were
relationships,
which didn’t work out the way she
her participation in the family. She did not
staying; she replied that
had hoped, but she tried. She also had a business
have to move out of the house for Blondell to
they were with their
in which she and some friends repaired old com
gain
custody.
father, which made it look
puters, then gave them to needy families.
like he wanted them and
It’s the children who really give her the
iller
has
fond
memories
of
the
times
in
the couple didn’t.
incentive to go on. “My kids,” as she calls them.
Portland. The couple bought a house on
Fortunately, her attorney
And now she is proud to be a grandmother “11
came to the rescue and asked “sweat equity” and enjoyed Gay Pride, the Rose
times over.” j n
Festival, camping and picnics. The children
Miller why the children were
were very much the center of their lives.
with their father. Because he
P at YOUNG is a Portland free-lance writer and
“I rode a motorcycle, and it was the only
asked and the couple let
gay and lesbian historian.
transportation I had for a long time,” Miller
them visit, she replied.
Daniel Jr. spends quality time with Grandma last spring
at Miller lives on a quiet street in a
small trailer park near Salem. Her
home is a place where people always
feel welcome to drop in. T he neigh
borhood kids know they can come to
“Mamma Pat” for help when needed.
However, about 20 years ago, Millers life was
anything but quiet as she found herself in the
middle of a groundbreaking custody battle
involving her partners kids.
She met Juanita Blondell in 1979 in Port
land, where they both worked for the school
district. M iller was in the m aintenance
department, while her partner was a custodi
an. They dated for a while before moving in
together.
“Juanita decided to get a divorce,” Miller
explains. “She was kind o f dragging her feet
on it.”
After all, she had five children ranging in age
from 4 to 9. Three girls, two boys.
“We weren’t necessarily out, but we didn’t
necessarily hide it either,” Miller says. “Well, we
hid it from our jobs, sure, but when it came to
custody, the fact that we were lesbians was going
to come out in court.”
They turned to the Community Law Proj
ect for an attorney. T h e all-woman nonprofit
collective offered legal services on a sliding-
scale fee.
M iller ’ s T ale
I
£
iud8e wasn't a male role model in
W c ' h Me Utt Hutton putt eva need.
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