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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 21, 2001)
50 jM St OMt » septambei 21.2001 * t- Please note: This article addresses disstxiaave identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personali ty disorder, in a humorous way m order to broach a serious and pamful subject. No disrespect is intended, and hopefully none uill be taken. ating has many pitfalls. 1 had to learn this the hard way, as 1 have learned so many other things in my life. After a three-year hiatus from dating, 1 was approached by a casual friend of mine who tried talking me into asking her best friend out for coffee. I demurred, hut she insist ed, and insisted and insisted. Her friend, whom 1 had met and spoken to briefly, looked and acted like the stereotypical librarian. 1 wasn’t interested in someone who was seemingly so serious. Then 1 figured, “W hat the heck, it won’t kill me,’’ gave in and e-mailed the woman. When we met at a restaurant, 1 was con siderably surprised to he enter taining a sophisticated woman of the world. Her name was Sioux. Mind you, I didn’t know her name was Sioux; I thought it was Sue. Actually, her name was Sioux Mallard. Hippie New Age parents? BY No, not even. ROMA After the third date 1 discovered VIRGINIA Sioux Mallard wasn’t her birth name. It was a name she found more descriptive of herself. While getting to know Sioux, 1 was impressed with her ability to appear comfort able in and adapt to a variety of situations— like migrating mallards. At times it seemed as if she was someone entirely different from the woman I initially had spent time with. Three months into dating Sioux, the rea sons for her adaptability were made apparent. Not only was 1 dating Sioux, I was dating: Sara, Betty, Kathy, George (fabulous dresser), Little Susie, Fauna and—the one I enjoyed most— Sexy Sadie. But the trouble with Sadie was, after a wonderful night, someone else always broke up with me the next day. There were a host of other identities 1 never met. After all, I only dated Sioux seven months. During this time it became evident to me 1 wasn’t equipped emotionally or psychologically to contend with this varied array of characters. 1 realized a polyamorous relationship with one person was Pot for me. Don’t think 1 didn’t try, hut I discovered if I am going to change part ners, I prefer to do it with separate people over a length of time. Although I kxik hack at this relationship Seriously, though, disstKiative identity dis order is defined as: 1. The existence within the person of two or more distinct personalities or personality states (each with its own relatively enduring pattern of perceiving, relating to and thinking about the environment and self). 2. At least two of these personalities or per sonality states recurrently take full control of the person’s behavior. The disorder is caused by severe child hood abuse. Dissociation is common among child abuse survivors. In its most severe form, it manifests as dissociative identity disorder. According to Dr. Colin Ross, multiple per sonality disorder is not a fantastic curiosity in which there is more than one person in the same IxxJy. There is only one person—an abuse victim who has imagined that other people are inside her in order to survive. This is an adap tive use of the human imagination. Dissociative identity disorder affects an esti mated one in 100 people, or 2 million in this country. The majority are women. Treatment is possible but difficult and lengthy. If someone close to you says she has disso ciative identity disorder or multiple personality disorder, take it seriously. After conducting some research, I realized many of my partner’s behaviors that I found hurtful weren’t about me; they were simply coping mechanisms she learned in order to care for herself. i n with a certain amount of fondness, rest assured I will approach dating differently in the future. Not only will I require complete health and psychiatric backgrounds, 1 also will hire a pri vate detective to verify-that information. It will he worth it. Unfortunately, nobody offered that advice to me. Here are some more red flags to watch out for. You know your partner is a multiple when: • You go to the movies and she asks for the child, student and senior discount rates. • She saves up all year for her therapists’ birthday presents. • Her dog responds to a dozen different names. • She asks for extra name tags at a convention. • You call to invite her to a concert, and seven different people reply. • Her bathnxim has six different tooth brushes, and she lives alone. More informatum about DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER can be found at www.wermany.orfJ readinpjfaq.htm and members.aol.com/ M mEncourg/WbPgM PDQuestums .htm. 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