50 jM St OMt » septambei 21.2001
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Please note: This article addresses disstxiaave
identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personali
ty disorder, in a humorous way m order to broach a
serious and pamful subject. No disrespect is intended,
and hopefully none uill be taken.
ating has many pitfalls. 1 had to learn this
the hard way, as 1 have learned so many
other things in my life.
After a three-year hiatus from dating,
1 was approached by a casual friend of mine
who tried talking me into asking her best
friend out for coffee. I demurred, hut she insist
ed, and insisted and insisted.
Her friend, whom 1 had met and spoken to
briefly, looked and acted like the
stereotypical librarian. 1 wasn’t
interested in someone who was
seemingly so serious.
Then 1 figured, “W hat the
heck, it won’t kill me,’’ gave in
and e-mailed the woman. When
we met at a restaurant, 1 was con
siderably surprised to he enter
taining a sophisticated woman of
the world.
Her name was Sioux. Mind you,
I didn’t know her name was Sioux; I
thought it was Sue.
Actually, her name was Sioux
Mallard. Hippie New Age parents?
BY
No, not even.
ROMA
After the third date 1 discovered
VIRGINIA Sioux Mallard wasn’t her birth
name. It was a name she found
more descriptive of herself.
While getting to know Sioux, 1 was
impressed with her ability to appear comfort
able in and adapt to a variety of situations—
like migrating mallards. At times it seemed
as if she was someone entirely different from
the woman I initially had spent time with.
Three months into dating Sioux, the rea
sons for her adaptability were made apparent.
Not only was 1 dating Sioux, I was dating: Sara,
Betty, Kathy, George (fabulous dresser), Little
Susie, Fauna and—the one I enjoyed most—
Sexy Sadie. But the trouble with Sadie was,
after a wonderful night, someone else always
broke up with me the next day.
There were a host of other identities 1 never
met. After all, I only dated Sioux seven months.
During this time it became evident to me 1
wasn’t equipped emotionally or psychologically
to contend with this varied array of characters.
1 realized a polyamorous relationship with one
person was Pot for me. Don’t think 1 didn’t try,
hut I discovered if I am going to change part
ners, I prefer to do it with separate people over
a length of time.
Although I kxik hack at this relationship
Seriously, though, disstKiative identity dis
order is defined as:
1. The existence within the person of two
or more distinct personalities or personality
states (each with its own relatively enduring
pattern of perceiving, relating to and thinking
about the environment and self).
2. At least two of these personalities or per
sonality states recurrently take full control of
the person’s behavior.
The disorder is caused by severe child
hood abuse. Dissociation is common among
child abuse survivors. In its most severe
form, it manifests as dissociative identity
disorder.
According to Dr. Colin Ross, multiple per
sonality disorder is not a fantastic curiosity in
which there is more than one person in the
same IxxJy. There is only one person—an abuse
victim who has imagined that other people are
inside her in order to survive. This is an adap
tive use of the human imagination.
Dissociative identity disorder affects an esti
mated one in 100 people, or 2 million in this
country. The majority are women. Treatment is
possible but difficult and lengthy.
If someone close to you says she has disso
ciative identity disorder or multiple personality
disorder, take it seriously. After conducting
some research, I realized many of my partner’s
behaviors that I found hurtful weren’t about
me; they were simply coping mechanisms she
learned in order to care for herself. i n
with a certain amount of fondness, rest assured
I will approach dating differently in the future.
Not only will I require complete health and
psychiatric backgrounds, 1 also will hire a pri
vate detective to verify-that information.
It will he worth it. Unfortunately, nobody
offered that advice to me.
Here are some more red flags to watch out
for. You know your partner is a multiple when:
• You go to the movies and she asks for the
child, student and senior discount rates.
• She saves up all year for her therapists’
birthday presents.
• Her dog responds to a dozen different
names.
• She asks for extra name tags at a
convention.
• You call to invite her to a concert, and
seven different people reply.
• Her bathnxim has six different tooth
brushes, and she lives alone.
More informatum about DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY
DISORDER can be found at www.wermany.orfJ
readinpjfaq.htm and members.aol.com/
M mEncourg/WbPgM PDQuestums .htm.
R o m a V ir g in ia
is a Portland free-lance writer.
cH u n g r ^ 9
Guide c o u rte sy of
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300 Club— 300 Liberty St. SE .......... Salem
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