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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 15, 2000)
September 15.2QQQ» o you’d like to know more about the grand and glorious world of opera? Well, sorry, it’s too late for that. With Portland Operas season starting in just a scant few weeks, you barely have time to pry the shrink wrapping off a CD, let alone listen to it. But fear not, dear readers, for even if you have no idea what it is you paid $50 a ticket for, you can certainly look as if you do; after all, that’s what really matters, isn’t it? So just fol low these few, simple steps and you, too, can become that most supreme of opera aficiona dos, the Opera Queen. Fun, Easy Step # 1: Mind your grammar. The true Opera Queen yells “Bravo” after a man’s solo, “Brava" after a woman’s solo and “Bravi” when acknowledging the orchestra or chorus. Be sure to give withering, disdainful looks at the uninformed plebeians around you who don’t know the difference. Incidentally, the proper time to yell “Bravo” or “Brava” is in that split second of silence that comes just after the music has ended and right before the applause begins. That way everyone in the auditorium can hear how much cleverer you are than anyone else. Also, he certain to pronounce all foreign words with gusto. For instance: Roll the “r” in composer Guiseppe Verdi’s name like an out board motor. (And do remember that the opera is Otello, not Othello.) W hen in doubt about pronunciation, simply try placing the accent where you think it doesn’t belong. So in Otello, Desdemona is pronounced Des-DAY-mona, Mimi in La Boheme is Mi-MEE, and Cannen is Car-MEN. G ot IT? Fun, Easy Step # 2: Throw your knowl edge around, even if you don’t actually have any to throw. For instance, regarding the to be an Opera Quee ing the breeches of the men’s chorus to see who is dressing to the left and who is dressing to the right. Fun, Easy Step #4: Gush like a little girl. Make no mistake— there’s more to being an Opera Queen than acting like a complete hitch. What most people don’t understand is the Opera Queen’s regal disdain is bom out of dis appointment, for at the very core, we are hop ing that opera will provide us with a transcen dent experience, that a sumptuous voice soaring above a roaring orchestral tide will conspire to touch our souls and transport us to a higher level. That is why Opera Queens can always he depended upon to toss bouquets to the stage. Through sheer adrenaline, men who couldn’t ever manage to throw a hall to first base sud denly become capable of landing a bouquet on stage from 20 rows hack. Managers of opera companies discourage the throwing of flowers onstage, hut it’s a lovely, picturesque custom that can prove to be highly amusing when a singer accidentally gets beaned in the head with a mixed bouquet traveling at 75 mph. So remember, my fresh new Opera Princess es, if the operagoing experience touches your soul, don’t hold hack— weep and gush and cheer. But if it doesn’t, then by all means, feel free to hitch like hell. j n F o u r easy steps for the uninitiated by M arc A cito orchestra: Choose one instrument arbitrari ly and doggedly insist that it is being played out of tune, regardless of the truth. Don’t back down. Conversely, wax rhapsodic over the beauty of a trifling hit of arcane detail. (“Did you hear how the strings managed that augmented minor third with the con stipated fifth? Masterful!”) If someone asks you about your favorite opera, choose the most obscure (me in the repertory. This season that’s Dialogues o f the Carmelites, a French opera about nuns dur ing the French Revolution. Just think The Sound o f Music meets Les Miserahles. Your favorite character is anyone who dies. Since nearly all the characters die in this opera, you’re pretty safe chcxxsing from any number of nuns. Fun, Easy Step #3: Elevate ridicule to an art form. Dishing the set and costumes is one of the great joys of operagoing. Late ly, set designers have shown a fondness for chairs, suspending dozens of them 50 feet above the stage while down below the poor singers have nowhere to sit for three hours. But even if the set is lavishly appointed, do resist the temptation to applaud the set when the curtain rises. It can’t hear you. As for the costumes, speculating who might hurst the stays of his or her corset is one way to keep yourself occupied during the dull hits. Most opera companies nowadays try to go for verisimilitude when it comes to casting (which is a nice way of saying they discriminate The Portland O pera season opens with C a r m e n Sept. 23 through 30 at Keller against fat people), but the words of legendary soprano Joan Sutherland still hold true— “The bigger the launch pad, the higher the rocket.” Big voices tend to come out of big bodies. If you’d rather not watch a consumptive, tubercu lar Mimi the size of a fullback, you can always put your opera glasses to good use by examin (formerly Civic) Auditorium, 222 S. W. Clay St. C all the box office at (5 0 3 ) 241-1802 for ticket information. Portland writer M a r c ACITO was called “Seattle Opera's Bad Boy" by Seattle Weekly and “a master o f portrayal” by the Denver Post for his eccentric interpretations o f character roles in opera. 'Den t Aaca tke. lenq, KesrauMit eeCb tvinlcv alcne. Now Serving Breakfast & lunch everyday * » ner Nightly 8 >m 4* Bar Open 4pm Dinner every night at 5:30 g 4* Private Luncheon Available Appetizers Sunday-Thursday 1 . 478.0889 alt M w -a * 2411 se belmont reservations (not required) S03.232.4458 www.wildabandon.dtysearch.com G I is a n , ¡Jujiofv Portland, Oregon Jo in th e B len d I I ^ Restaurant ▼ Retail 4100 S.E. Division ▼ 233-6950 eclectic food, wine, & furnishings Check out JUST FRIENDS Voice Personal Ads on Page 43. 33
