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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (March 17, 2000)
march 17.2000* “A charged combination of . » b bodybuilding and homoeroticism./. " * Wittily Blended!” f * < 2Q Mary get your gun A Portland man. agonizes over an heirloom firearm and the conflict between protection and peace «Sphere was a time when a gun was my clos- i est friend. I could have been a poster boy sonal weapon, ready to draw and shoot, Old West mythical-style, at any infraction of boundaries. I admire Gandhi. I am attracted to the Quaker tradition, peace, love and inner light. I also have a great allegiance to the sys tem, education, growing public consciousness and the democratic political process. There are contradictions. O n one hand, the scion of an old pioneering family, the recipient of all the old values that make for the so-called American spirit of independence, I believe that my person, my family, my home are all sacred, and I’ll be damned if anyone is going to threaten their security. N ot without a fight, not without somehow making the play ing field more level. O n the other hand, I know firearms often do far more harm than good, that with their use innocent people frequently suffer, and the fewer guns in circulation the better. Neverthe- for the National Rifle Association. This is 8 a difficult admission com ing from a paci fist, veggie, granola-eating hippie sympathizer. So an explanation is in order. My father gave me a gun w hen I was 13. It | was an old .22 bolt-action rifle with nicks in the barrel, the wood backing well-worn in places. It was the first gun he ever owned, pur chased at the Gascozark G eneral Store with money earned working on the McDaniel farm. A lthough I was less than excit- ^ ed by the offering, the gift of a gun was a coming-of-age tradition in our family, so I accepted it, listened to his safety instructions and took off into the woods. A fter firing a couple of badly aimed shots at a lit tle gray squirrel high up an oak tree, 1 returned the gun to my father. “D on’t think I’ll be using it,” I said. Maybe dad BY could make better use of it. My father, an experienced and ■ ■ ■ ■ skillful hunter, and perhaps in possession of some i 1 t unspoken wisdom about his middle son, graciously took back the rifle w ithout com ment. _ Æ Some 30 years later, as he ■ I J k lay dying, he again offered me the gun. After all, it was the r * first gun he had owned, impor tant to him and now a family treasure. This time it was a spe cial gift. I took it, banishing the aging piece along with a h an d ful of tarnished bullets to a closet. Two years later 1 took out the gun, dusted it off, put six •22 longs in the clip, cocked it and put it under less, my agonizing and terrifying personal the bed. 1 was scared. A n anonymous caller experience testifies that, when confronted was making nightly calls threatening my life. with the threat of overwhelming personal vio He graphically described the macabre way he lence, nothingUdded more to my sense of would do it. “I know where you live," he had security than ready access to a gun. said one night in his gruesome 3 a.m. message. T he full measure of responsibility for a vio And I’ll get you.” lent act lies with its practitioner, not the tar The phone company was not helpful. T he get. N o amount of preparation guarantees safe police told me they could do nothing. ty, and paranoia just complicates matters. Still, “Most of the people who make those I sometimes wonder whether my response to threats never carry them through,” the officer the question of personal protection, and said, eroding any thought 1 had of official sup specifically to gun ownership, has been naive, port. a predictable liberal stance, just a tinge out of But the knowledge th at the gun was nearby touch with reality. was very reassuring. Maybe*, just maybe I could O ne day the threatening calls simply do something. Perhaps 1 could defend myself. stopped coming, so my firearm was never put I had not thought about this unpleasant to the test. But 1 learned that there are times period of my life for some years until recently, when neither the police nor laws can protect when I was vividly rem inded of the experience me from potential deadly physical assault. I while talking with another gay man about his secretly wonder if my gun-toting friend s .38 new pistol, which he purchased for personal pistol, safely tucked away and deftly advertised protection. He was anxious to try it out at a at the opportune moment, just might be the firing range the next day, and I was suddenly best defense. faced again with my own ambivalence about self-protection and particularly about gun ■ J acob C lark is a member o f Portland G ay ownership. M en Writing. For more information about the I abhor violence and am appalled at the group, cad Patrick at (503) 231-8866. idea of everyone walking around with a per- JACOB CLARK I sometimes wonder whether m y response to the question of personal protection, and specifically to gun ownership, has been naive, a predictable liberal stance, just a tinge out of touch with reality. - The New Yorker be TT cakc STARTS FRIDAY MAR. 31 st FOR ONE WEEK @ CINEMA 2 1 616 N W 21 st nightly 8:45 + Sat-Sun ( 2 : 4 5 ) w w w .s t ra n d re l.c o m O '" _ % X SAT. MARCH 25, 2000 1125 SE MADISON FA1RE 12 NOON-6 PM RC ncnPCRINQ 5PRINQ: an rcNinox Kirr 7 p m $S-$8, no one turned away for lack of funds. SisterSpirit, (503) 736-3297 A Th e Imperial Sovereign Rose Court Proudly Presents... 1 I It Uijise Ship of Pools... 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