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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 4, 2000)
44 J " * M * — fehruary 4.2000 Coventry Cycle (V W orks a real stereo store for real music lovers Gay today, gone tomorrow Selective memory is the modus operand! of m others who pretend th eir sons aren ’t gay P ro fe sio n a l Service Comfortable Bikeo Recumbento a Specialty! ... because m usic m atters. Open Tuesday-Sunday 230-7723 2025 SE Hawthorne 2627 N.E. Broadway/Portland/ 280-0910 www.stereotypesaudio.com HEY! It’s back! ÍÍD g O ! P r esen ted B y : Ji/tilh p u i fjcon&L A sso c ia ti B r o k ir . tm > .quity group inc rioltom Integrated Payment Solutions Portland’s Gay & Lesbian Yellow Pages Í id J c FlmiiDg,© tech te lo l tfS Wild W$cky Cmpy t e g o F ud f o r E v e ry o n e!!! Friday, February 25 7:00pm (doors at 6:15) Scottish Rite Center Ballroom 1512 SW Morrison, Portland Mistress of Ceremony Miss Chocha Fresca V Salsa Queen of the Universe! Tickets $13 Advance $16 at the door Call (503)233-5484 for tables and group sales or stop by Balloons on Broadway, Gai-Pied, In Other W ords, It’s My Pleasure, and Rainbows! It’s not just bingol w ww.xjs.com /pf A smoke & alcohol-free event! (503)233-5484 word. Sure, it would be fun to call mom up and say, “Hey, I hear you were asking after my girl friends. Well, guess what? I have a boyfriend now. How do you like them apples?” But I Really, 1 think it might be more accurate know what she’d do. She’d pretend I didn’t say to say she seems to have forgotten I’m gay, it. T h a t’s our family’s way. because I don’t see how she could possibly not A friend of mine calls it Baptist Selective know. But she’s pretending not to. Memory— when you look straight at the obvi 1 found out when she called my sister and, ous and insist it isn’t there. “It’s too bad about during the course of the conversation, suddenly uncle Henry being such a raging alcoholic,” asked Karen if I was dating any nice girls. you might say, and mom will smile and reply, I I Karen, slightly confused, said no, she “O didn’t h, honey, he just acts that way because he think I was dating any nice girls. was struck by lightning during that big storm in I I “T h at’s strange,” my mother ’65. You know th at.” I said. “He used to have so many You can’t fight this kind of mental girlfriends.” T hat part is true. I did have a few girlfriends. I even, briefly, got myself en gaged to one of them. But we spent more time shopping together than we did making out, and even when I had my tongue in her m outh and my hand up her shirt I was thinking about how much nicer it would be to do the same thing with m y ^ baseball-player . roommate. In any case, that was quite a long time ago. 1 h av en ’t pitched woo with a woman since col lege, and I’m sure my mother must have noticed that 1 passed into my third decade with no appar ent wedding plans. Even if she didn’t, I’ve written a lot of gay-themed material, some of which she’s seen. So her sudden cluelessness baf fles me. Because so much time has gone by without me actively seeing anyone, perhaps she believes I’ve forgotten I’m gay, and that if no one brings it up I’ll start dating girls again. N o one in my family ever talks about any thing personal, so it’s really not shocking that this subject has never come up before. But the illness, so you m ight as well join it. I used to thing is, I was sure that we had addressed it in think th at when I settled down with the man I our own special way. Besides the books I’ve loved, 1 would want to take him home just to written, there was a conversation my mother show the family I could do it, that gay men and I had about religion, during which I am period could do it. But now that I have him, I sure I outed myself. I’ve even written about it, see no reason to subject Dave to being called for heaven’s sake, so it must be true. “Mike’s special friend” and being asked if he is But not to hear her tell it. Despite all the seeing any nice girls. evidence, she still seems to be waiting for me Instead of trying to explain to my mother, to settle down with a nice woman. So I’m in a or to anyone else in my family, that I happen quandary. Part of me is thrilled that I have a to be a man who loves men, I think I’m just chance to out myself to a major figure in my going to let those who don’t want to acknowl life. I’ve never really gotten to do that before, edge it keep wondering. Or, even better, they primarily because no one I know really gives a can make up their own reasons for what they rat’s ass about such things. see as my ongoing bachelorhood. Now I have an opportunity to surprise “Is Mike gay?” someone will eventually ask someone. I’ve dreamed about such a moment my mother. for years. But now that it’s here, I don’t really “O h, no,” she’ll say. "D on’t you remember care anymore. In fact, I resent having to come that big storm in ’82?" out at all, to anyone. W hy is it any of their business what I am or what 1 do? W hy do gay ■ M ichael T homas F ord is the Lambda Liter- people get stuck having to explain ourselves to ary Award-wmnmg author of Alec Baldwin the people in our lives? They don’t have to jus Doesn’t Love Me and T h a t’s Mr. Faggot to You. tify to us why they love the people they love. He welcomes e-mail at Shofxltee@aol.com. Why should we? So I think what I’m going to do is not say a ’ve discovered that my mother doesn’t know I’m gay. I BY M ICHAEL THOM AS FORD Sure, it would be fun to call mom up and say, “Hey, I hear you were asking after m y girl friends. Well, guess what? I have a boyfriend now. How do you like them apples?”
