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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 7, 2000)
¿try 7.2QQQ 10 ÜTTntWTTTineivs F rom S ecretive to S upportive Seeking to end the isolation and silence, a fledgling group aims to bolster young people whose lives are impacted by HIV and AIDS by t . k . Mantese Schedule your appointment today with: C h r is t in a S ig w a r t or nine years, Jim Cox and his former wife kept a secret from their two chil- dren. 5 0 3 -2 5 6 -3 7 0 0 REY REECE DEALERSHIPS OLDS-ISUZU-VOLKSWAGEN-USED clsigwart@hotmail.com 122nd & East Burnside SEE US FOR AL L YOUR r e o G Z Zeluziid& ri' (7 . AUTOBODY 1 — r~ h —1 on r —1 (503) 232-3600 o > o 2 4 5 4 E. BU RN SID E PO R TLA N D , O R 9 7 2 1 4 m " a > l- H 70 Fam ily O wned & O perated Since 1 9 5 2 l"CArl. GOLD c l a s s panarEseorsiA*-S m m o on a real stereo store for real music lovers STf P f O Í i— n ... b e c a u s e m u sic m a tters. 2627 N.E. Broadway/Portland/ 280-0910 www.stereotypesaudio.com Man 's' Best Friend A B O U T IQ U E FO R DOGS & T H O S E W HO LO V E T H E M . Now offering Petsitting & Dog Walking. Call for details about the “Howliday Inn.” 3445 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Portland, OR In the heart o f the Hawthorne District O p en M o n -S at: 10-6 ♦ Sun: 11-5 503 - 230-0237 www.citysearch.com/pdxymansbestfnend F Both Sean Cox and his younger sister, Allison, had been aware of their fathers homosexuality at a young age— Sean knew when he was 6, Allison when she was 8. But the Coxes, who divorced in 1980, did not tell their kids something they had learned in 1985— that Jim had contracted HIV. Allison, now 22, says her mother, at Jim’s request, refrained from telling the children about their father’s HIV status. He didn’t want to disclose the news for fear that his children would be burdened with yet anoth er social stigma. However, Allison says she intu itively figured out the truth. That was in 1993. But she didn’t tell Sean because she felt he would rather hear it directly from Jim. (A year and a half later— on Aug. 24, 1994— father confided in son.) “My brother and I have always had a pretty close relationship," explains Allison, adding that with holding her realization from Sean was tough. “(It was] difficult to be around my family, especially around my brother, because we had always been pretty honest with each other.” During the time Allison was harboring the secret, she was strug gling to learn about HIV by herself. “1 didn’t know how to find sup port,” she says. “I needed a parent to facilitate something from that point on.” That didn’t happen; instead, she iors. withdrew from the family and Sean, now 23, and Allison say the secret developed self-destructive behav- damaged the trust they had in their family. Both say they became disillusioned and distrustful. But Sean reached a turning point in 1997 during a World AIDS Day event that included a presentation by Jennifer Jako, a young filmmak er and A ID S activist. Jako came on stage and spoke, and showed an excerpt from her 22-minute documentary Blood Lines, which is about young people living with HIV. Jako, who is living with AIDS, says that within minutes of her leaving the stage and sit ting down, Sean came and introduced himself. "Seeing a young person find strength in her HIV status inspired me,” says Sean. The two stayed in touch and in March 1998 began talking about starting some type of youth- oriented group. Both concluded there was a gap in the services provided by AID S organizations in the Portland area— that, relatively speaking, there was minimal support for young people affected by HIV and AIDS. Jako points out that there are food banks and clothing sources, but there has never been a structure for social gatherings at which these youths could safely disclose what was happening within their families. About Sean Cox, Jako says: “He comes from the same place I did. He lived in silence for so many years." As a result of their common bond, Sean Cox, Jako and two others, an HIV-positive young man and an HIV-positive father of three, launched For Us Northwest, a nonprofit organi zation dedicated to providing a safe environ ment and social support for young people ages 5 to 24 living with or affected by HIV and AIDS. The group, which received 501 (c)3 tax- exempt status in December, serves all of Oregon and southwest Washington. Sean donates his time in the temporarily unpaid position of executive director. He says live four or five years. T he first thing 1 thought of was death.” She adds: “I was sad and withdrawn at school. I didn’t tell anyone.” Their father called an HIV hot line, she remembers. O ther than that, the family was on its own. Allison Cox says that a student affected by a more socially acceptable disease would likely receive support and counseling in school. She remembers that, although she was an honors For Us Northwest is the only organization in Oregon dedicated solely to providing emotional and social support services to young people touched by HIV For Us Northwest is the only organization in Oregon— and, along with Rise and Shine of Seattle, one of two in the Northwest— dedicat ed solely to providing emotional and social sup port services to young people touched by HIV. Jako is one of three members on the board of directors, which formed in March 1999. The board will eventually consist of up to 15 mem bers, including youths. Members are required to volunteer eight to 12 hours per month, advocate in the community and help raise funds. Currently 25 youths, ages 5 to 17, are involved with For Us Northwest, and they reflect the nationwide trends in HIV: 40 percent are female and 50 percent are people of color. “Some of the kids won’t make it to 17,” Jako says, adding that some have lived their entire lives knowing they are HIV-positive. "I was infected when I was 18,” says Jako, now 26. At that time I knew nothing about HIV. 1 never thought it could happen to me. I had two little sisters. It was pretty intense for them to know their sister has a life-threatening disease. For me as a big sister, I always felt I let them down.” One of Jakos sisters, who asked that her name not be published, is 19. “I was 12. I was just really shocked," she recalls about the time she learned of her sister’s serostatus. A couple of weeks earlier, Magic Johnson had just come out that he was HIV positive. At first I thought (Jennifer] would only student, she was severely depressed and would have benefited from such support. Robbie Leffler, 16, learned of his father’s HIV status a decade ago. Until two years ago, he never talked about it. “Since For Us Northwest, I’ve been able to release a lot o f my emotions instead of bottling them up inside,” he says. At For Us Northwest social gatherings, Lef- fler says, “You know you can talk to others and it won’t go anywhere else.” Leffler graduated from high school early and is about to become a full-time college student. He has applied to serve on the FUN board. This year, Jako says, “For Us Northwest will focus on social support for kids as we build our clinical side.” T he board is actively recmiting facilitators and volunteers. ■ F or U s N orthwest ’ s social support group meets monthly at the M etropolitan Community Church o f Portland. FU N requires an initial intake session before one can attend the support group. For more inform ation, call (503) 291-9747, ext. 2, or send an e-m ail to ForU slnc@ hotm ail.com . All donations are tax-deductible and can be sent to For Us N orthw est, 401 6 S.E. Boise St., Upstairs, Portland, OR 97202. T .K . M antese is a Portland based free-lance writer and proofreader