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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 21, 1998)
32 CINEMA .............. ▼ P3WDOPERM8 ■ 3 I [ I As bad as It gets Ignore the rave reviews you may have read elsewhere: Billy’s Hollywood Screen K iss Is a real stinker by From Gild; haunting love soi to the emotiona surprise endinj this is a night ii the theater tha1 you'll nevei forget! F SU N G IN ITALIAN WITH TRANSLATIONS PROJECTED ABOVE STAGE SEPTEMBER 26, 28, 30 & OCTOBER 3 P o rtla n d C iv ic A u d it o r iu m • 7 :3 0 p m Sharp! TICKETS NOW ON SALE • CALL TODAY 241-1802 o r 790-ARTS Tickets fro m $25 G ro u p s o f 10 or M ore SAVE u p to 20 % • C all 2 4 1 -1 4 0 7 w w w .portlancfopera.org C H A R G E BY P H O N E The SW WA Gay ft Lesbian Socialites presents The 4th Annual Saturday, Sept. 5th, 11:00 PM - 2:00 A M Pre-boardin 9 lime at 10:50 Pill at Treat & Salmon by Salmon St. Spring Portion o f the p ro c e e d s uiill benefit Lifeforce. N o h o st b a r Free H o rs d ’ o v e rv e s D o o r Prizes H ot D onee M u sic fllu / tb « 9 l. ID required. TICKCTJ ffo t e / Ù) on M U noun I 120 EACH AT It's M y P leasu re, 3106 M€ 64th St, Portland, OP. 503-280-8080 G o i - Pied, 2544 N€ Broadway, Portland. OP. 503-331-1125 A G e n t le Stre n gth , 2110 Mom St.. Vancouver. UUP. 360-750-5676 or p h o n e M ik e 3 6 0 -7 3 5 -1 9 0 1 or 3 6 0 -9 9 2 -1 0 3 2 W ill O’B ryan Having Rio and Ju-Ju in one scene would irst the disclaimer: Reputable reviewers not have been offensive, just taxing. Having across the country love Billy’s Hollywood them return for a second scene, as if someone Screen Kiss. From the New York Times to were asking for an encore, was a strained the Los Angeles Times, “We love Billy!” attempt to squeeze some humor out of an old they seem to scream. joke that had a five-year window— when With that out of the way, I’m free to write Reagan was in office— to be funny. what I think without guilt: I’ve seen more Despite the rave reviews elsewhere, I know depth in a urinal. my distaste for Screen Kiss can’t be completely The reviews and post-Sundance Film off-base. Maybe everyone else believed the Festival word of mouth had me anticipating publicity materials that liken it to light-hearted this movie. I didn’t know anything about the Doris Day movies of the ’50s and ’60s— such story, but I’d heard plenty of positive buzz. blasphemy! I loved her movies when I was a Upon viewing it, however, I feared that kid and I still do. A pleasant mood often finds either some Invasion of the Body Snatchers sce me softly singing the theme from Pillow Talk to nario was well underway, replacing vast num myself. bers of decent, intelligent filmgoers with dimwitted vegetable-based aliens, or that Screen Kiss has a monumental adver tising machine at its disposal. My only expressive reaction was four yawns. I did n’t laugh. (Not nearly!) 1 didn’t cry (except for myself)- And I certainly did n’t care. (Couldn’t have cared less, actu ally.) Billy (Sean P. Hayes) begins his story in bed with Fernando (Armando Valdes- Kennedy). Billy sleeps with Fernando while simultaneously making snide, morally superior swipes at Fernando’s open relationship. His hypocrisy didn’t endear Billy to me. Billy falls head over heels for pretty boy Gabriel (Brad Rowe) before Gabriel utters a word, then pursues him shame lessly despite Gabriel’s claim of hetero sexuality. His shallowness and immaturi ty didn’t endear Billy to me. So I was left following a story with a mildly offensive, very whiny protagonist. Sean P. Hayes (left) and Meredith Scott Lynn Even his tearful childhood reminiscence N or is Billy’s bitter aftertaste due to some didn’t touch me. And the Gabriel character demand on my part for more depth from queer could just as well have kept his mouth shut movies. I liked Kiss Me Guido and adored throughout the film. He was a paper doll. Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. I don’t need Minor characters— Meredith Scott Lynn as heavy-handed depth. Simply, Screen Kiss’s Billy’s gal pal Georgiana; Richard Ganoung as redeeming qualities are scant. Billy’s mentor and patron, Perry— were more There is some clever use o f Polaroid pho interesting than Billy and Gabriel. tographs, clever enough to have carried a 10- Still 1 feel sorry for Richard Ganoung. He minute short film beautifully. And there’s a was cute in the 1986 film Parting Glances as cute scene with Billy and Gabriel in bed, danc best friend to Steve Buscemi’s queer, HIV-posi ing that uncomfortable and exciting ballet of tive New Wave character. He could at least “Should I move closer ?” “Did he just brush my have gotten a haircut for Screen Kiss. arm?” etc., that happens when innocent bed Writer-director Tommy O ’Haver’s treat sharing is about to lead to something more. ment of Christopher Bradley as Andrew, That was all I could find. Georgiana’s boyfriend, is cruel. In the low- Had Screen Kiss been a low-budget sleeper, budget Leather Jacket Love Story, Bradley showed himself to have some degree of talent. perhaps I’d be more forgiving. But this movie In Screen Kiss, his talent is smothered as he has higher production values than most queer movies. I’m saddened that a queer filmmaker plays a caricature of a straight man. It’s easy to like O ’Haver couldn’t do more with the oppor imagine O ’Haver’s direction during Bradley’s scenes. Perhaps something like: “A ct dumber! tunity given him. With all the great press he’s Grunt more! You’re hetero, for G od’s sake.” gotten for Screen Kiss, though, he’s bound to Two other characters, the performance have a lot more chances to make up for this artists Ju-Ju and Rio (Shanti Reinhardt and boring film. Kiff Scholl, respectively), were clumsily thrown O n the other hand, some loud people are in as exaggerated illustrations of the kooky Los saying they like what they see, and if they tell Angeles art scene. It’s as if O ’Haver believes him it ain’t broke, why should he fix it? performance artists are no-talents draped in sil If, however, you’re like me and you can see ver lamé whom one always finds at decadent that the emperor wears no clothes, console parties speaking in accents appropriate to a yourself with a rented copy of Pillow Talk and perfume commercial. Again, I recalled a Parting know that you’re not alone. Glances party scene with German performance artists who were at least slightly relevant to the ■ B illy ’ s H ollywood S creen K iss opens story. Besides, it was 1986— twelve years ago Friday, Aug. 21 at KO IN Cinemas. the idea of performance art was funny in the Call 225-5555, ext. 4608, for show times. mainstream.
