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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 21, 1997)
10 ▼ f« b ru a ry 2 1 . 1 9 0 7 ▼ ju s t o u t local news The parent trap School environments can be stressful for queer families but a new group seeks to change all that , T by Inga Sorensen But th at 's ju s t the tip o f the iceberg. Too m any have Hie A already. We need you r help ( 360 ) 735-9170 Evergreen WE REPLACE WINDOWS Now you can replace your old windows with new vinyl custom fit insulated windows. Your new windows will keep your home warmer in winter, cooler in summer, reduce condensation and sound proof your home. We also have storm windows and doors. 20 years of experience in the same location makes us one of Portland's most experienced window companies. Visit our showroom or call today for a courteous in- home estimate. 283-9481 INSULATED WINDOW C O R P O R A T I O N w T ravel A gents W I nternational , r i n r't \ America’s Vacation Store G arlan d H o m e r Owner Oregon BB # 19095 8124 N. Denver L eisure D omestic C orpora il I nternational OR Ri<;. #221 “Serving Our Community by Meeting Your Needs" • Designated Agency for Team Oregon Gay Games IV & V • HIV Community Support Program through donated Bonus Dollars GAY GAMES V Amsterdam! August 1-8, 1998 Accommodations are at a Premium! Guarantee Yours with an Advance Deposit. ßookings-to-Vzte: 29 Need to book a last m inute ticket? You can reach us 24 Hours a day, 7 days a week! C all 5 0 3 - 2 2 3 M 1 0 0 or 8 0 0 * 3 5 7 « 3 1 9 4 e-mail: rip-tai@ix.netcom.com f you’re a sexual minority parent, Joseph Tam wants to hear from you. "I want to know their concerns. 1 want them to have support,” says Tam, a Port land school board member. Tam organized a Feb. 3 meeting which in cluded himself, district personnel and sexual mi nority parents who have children in the Portland Public Schools system. It was the first such meeting aimed at creating an organized and ongoing entity that specifically gives voice to lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans parents concerned about safety and equity in the public schools. “It’s essentially an advisory committee. Our intention is to help make the schools safer and healthier places,” says Bonnie Tinker, executive director of Love Makes a Family Inc., which promotes the rights and visibility of gay and lesbian families. According to Tam, who is also a civil rights investigator for the Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries, similar groups already exist for other parents with particular concerns. “The district has a long tradition of getting parents involved in advocating for their children. For example, we have a group for Hispanic parents,” he says, adding he got the idea for es tablishing the sexual minority parents group after viewing the Portland première of It’s El ementary, a documentary that highlights both the homopho bia typically encountered in educational settings and ways to successfully combat it. “Even though I t’s Elemen tary wasn’t filmed in Port land, a lot of the issues are the same,” says Tam. Those issues may include the critical need to educate and sensitize staff to the broad spectrum of family structures; implementing policies and procedures that deter intoler ance, harassment and violence Joseph Tam in schools; and employing more inclusive lan guage and curricula. “We’re talking about things like a teacher asking students to draw their family tree. Kids are often asked to do that in kindergarten,” explains Tinker, who has two adult children and a son in the eighth grade at West Sylvan Middle School in Southwest Portland. “Without knowing it, teachers have created a potentially traumatic experience for a student who has same-sex parents. The child has to decide whether to come out, and it usually gets tougher as they get older,” she says. “A teacher should be aware of what they’re doing and be prepared to respond appropriately, but many times they don’t even think about these things.” Tinker cites another example: that of middle schoolers studying a uniton "Family” which makes no mention of households headed by gay men, lesbians, bisexuals or other sexual minorities. Registration forms and other district paper work, meanwhile, do not include the descriptive “partners.” "And of course our children often hear the indirect insults based on sexual orientation or gender identity, or they are the targets of such insults themselves if other kids learn that their parents are gay,” Tinker says. Sometimes, too, she adds, the offspring of same-sex couples may become more heterosexu- ally active in order to prove to their peers that “they aren’t queer too.” “For gay and lesbian parents a lot of thought goes into where their kids will go to school, because of their family situation,” she says. “But many same-sex couples are in the closet. They can’t go into a school and ask whether this is a positive and safe environment for their child.... Obviously we would like to see all schools be come safe and positive environments.” According to Tam, 10 parents attended the February meeting, which was not widely publi cized. He hopes to see more at the group’s next meeting in early March. One mother who did attend was Erika Si 1 ver, an out lesbian whose 12-year-old son, Sage, attends Beaumont Middle School in Northeast Portland. “It was a good first meeting. I emphasize ‘first,’ because I want to see something really come of this,” Silver says, adding she’d like sexual minority youth to become part of the advisory committee “because what we do invari ably is going to affect them.” Michael Harris is the principal of Lane Middle School and co-chair of the Portland Public Schools di versity committee, an in- house entity comprising dis trict staff working toward equality and safety in schools. “It’s good that it’s in- house, because we know where the bones are buried,” chuckles Harri s, who attended the February meeting. It was, he candidly admits, an eye-opening experience. “Maybe it was old stuff for other people, but for me it was new,” he says. “For in stance, 1 had never really thought about the registration forms being so exclusive, nor had I thought about a student having to talk about their fam ily in class—and what that may mean to a child with gay parents. Hearing that makes a difference, and helps me as we try to make changes.” Jack Bierwirth, superintendent of Portland Public Schools, has directed schools to complete staff training on issues of particular relevance to sexual minority youth by year’s end. Bierwirth also recently met with members of the sexual minority community, reiterating his commitment to make the school system safer and more responsive to the needs of sexual minorities. Harris, meanwhile, says the diversity commit tee intends to have a final draft of its recommenda tions for inclusive curricula by the end of the year. “It’s a start, but I know that we could be doing a lot more,” he says. Tam adds: “But we really need to hear from gay and lesbian parents. We want to support them and we want their support. We can’t really do this right without them.” The group meets again on March 3 at 7 pm at 501 N Dixon in the basement L-l Conference Room. Sexual minority parents within and outside the Portland Public Schools system are encouraged to attend and share their ideas. For more information, contact Love Makes a Family at 228-3892.