10 ▼ f« b ru a ry 2 1 . 1 9 0 7 ▼ ju s t o u t
local news
The parent trap
School environments can be stressful for queer families
but a new group seeks to change all that
,
T
by Inga Sorensen
But th at 's ju s t the tip o f the iceberg.
Too m any have Hie A already. We need you r help
( 360 ) 735-9170
Evergreen
WE REPLACE WINDOWS
Now you can replace your old windows with new vinyl custom fit insulated
windows. Your new windows will keep your home warmer in winter, cooler
in summer, reduce condensation and sound proof your home. We also have
storm windows and doors.
20 years of experience in the same location makes us
one of Portland's most experienced window companies.
Visit our showroom or call today for a courteous in-
home estimate.
283-9481
INSULATED WINDOW
C O R P O R A T I O N
w T ravel A gents
W I nternational ,
r i n r't \
America’s Vacation Store
G arlan d H o m e r
Owner
Oregon BB # 19095
8124 N. Denver
L eisure
D omestic
C orpora il
I nternational
OR Ri<;. #221
“Serving Our Community by Meeting Your Needs"
•
Designated Agency for Team Oregon Gay Games IV & V
• HIV Community Support Program through donated Bonus Dollars
GAY GAMES V
Amsterdam!
August 1-8, 1998
Accommodations are at a Premium!
Guarantee Yours with an Advance Deposit.
ßookings-to-Vzte: 29
Need to book a last m inute ticket?
You can reach us 24 Hours a day, 7 days a week!
C all 5 0 3 - 2 2 3 M 1 0 0 or 8 0 0 * 3 5 7 « 3 1 9 4
e-mail: rip-tai@ix.netcom.com
f you’re a sexual minority parent, Joseph
Tam wants to hear from you.
"I want to know their concerns. 1 want
them to have support,” says Tam, a Port
land school board member.
Tam organized a Feb. 3 meeting which in
cluded himself, district personnel and sexual mi
nority parents who have children in the Portland
Public Schools system.
It was the first such meeting aimed at creating
an organized and ongoing entity that specifically
gives voice to lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans
parents concerned about safety and equity in the
public schools.
“It’s essentially an advisory committee. Our
intention is to help make the schools safer and
healthier places,” says Bonnie Tinker, executive
director of Love Makes a Family Inc., which
promotes the rights and visibility of gay and
lesbian families.
According to Tam, who is also a civil rights
investigator for the Oregon Bureau of Labor and
Industries, similar groups already exist for other
parents with particular concerns.
“The district has a long tradition of getting
parents involved in advocating for their children.
For example, we have a group
for Hispanic parents,” he says,
adding he got the idea for es
tablishing the sexual minority
parents group after viewing the
Portland première of It’s El
ementary, a documentary that
highlights both the homopho
bia typically encountered in
educational settings and ways
to successfully combat it.
“Even though I t’s Elemen
tary wasn’t filmed in Port
land, a lot of the issues are the
same,” says Tam.
Those issues may include
the critical need to educate
and sensitize staff to the broad
spectrum of family structures;
implementing policies and
procedures that deter intoler
ance, harassment and violence Joseph Tam
in schools; and employing more inclusive lan
guage and curricula.
“We’re talking about things like a teacher
asking students to draw their family tree. Kids are
often asked to do that in kindergarten,” explains
Tinker, who has two adult children and a son in
the eighth grade at West Sylvan Middle School in
Southwest Portland.
“Without knowing it, teachers have created a
potentially traumatic experience for a student
who has same-sex parents. The child has to decide
whether to come out, and it usually gets tougher
as they get older,” she says. “A teacher should be
aware of what they’re doing and be prepared to
respond appropriately, but many times they don’t
even think about these things.”
Tinker cites another example: that of middle
schoolers studying a uniton "Family” which makes
no mention of households headed by gay men,
lesbians, bisexuals or other sexual minorities.
Registration forms and other district paper
work, meanwhile, do not include the descriptive
“partners.”
"And of course our children often hear the
indirect insults based on sexual orientation or
gender identity, or they are the targets of such
insults themselves if other kids learn that their
parents are gay,” Tinker says.
Sometimes, too, she adds, the offspring of
same-sex couples may become more heterosexu-
ally active in order to prove to their peers that
“they aren’t queer too.”
“For gay and lesbian parents a lot of thought
goes into where their kids will go to school,
because of their family situation,” she says. “But
many same-sex couples are in the closet. They
can’t go into a school and ask whether this is a
positive and safe environment for their child....
Obviously we would like to see all schools be
come safe and positive environments.”
According to Tam, 10 parents attended the
February meeting, which was not widely publi
cized. He hopes to see more at the group’s next
meeting in early March.
One mother who did attend was Erika Si 1 ver, an
out lesbian whose 12-year-old son, Sage, attends
Beaumont Middle School in Northeast Portland.
“It was a good first meeting. I emphasize
‘first,’ because I want to see something really
come of this,” Silver says, adding she’d like
sexual minority youth to become part of the
advisory committee “because what we do invari
ably is going to affect them.”
Michael Harris is the principal of Lane Middle
School and co-chair of the
Portland Public Schools di
versity committee, an in-
house entity comprising dis
trict staff working toward
equality and safety in schools.
“It’s good that it’s in-
house, because we know
where the bones are buried,”
chuckles Harri s, who attended
the February meeting.
It was, he candidly admits,
an eye-opening experience.
“Maybe it was old stuff
for other people, but for me it
was new,” he says. “For in
stance, 1 had never really
thought about the registration
forms being so exclusive, nor
had I thought about a student
having to talk about their fam
ily in class—and what that
may mean to a child with gay parents. Hearing
that makes a difference, and helps me as we try to
make changes.”
Jack Bierwirth, superintendent of Portland
Public Schools, has directed schools to complete
staff training on issues of particular relevance to
sexual minority youth by year’s end.
Bierwirth also recently met with members of
the sexual minority community, reiterating his
commitment to make the school system safer and
more responsive to the needs of sexual minorities.
Harris, meanwhile, says the diversity commit
tee intends to have a final draft of its recommenda
tions for inclusive curricula by the end of the year.
“It’s a start, but I know that we could be doing
a lot more,” he says.
Tam adds: “But we really need to hear from
gay and lesbian parents. We want to support them
and we want their support. We can’t really do this
right without them.”
The group meets again on March 3 at 7 pm at
501 N Dixon in the basement L-l Conference
Room. Sexual minority parents within and
outside the Portland Public Schools system are
encouraged to attend and share their ideas.
For more information, contact
Love Makes a Family at 228-3892.