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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 1, 1992)
Jvs* out V Jmmumry 1002 ▼ 13 I live in an alien skin Yearning for inclusiveness Few white gays and lesbians know how to accept and connect with more than the gay part o f me Homophobia and racism go hand in hand by Scot Nakagawa T s a teenager, I went through a period when I spent an incredible amount of time staring at pictures of freaks, and thinking about what it would be like to know them. I had dozens o f friends with whom I shared the common experience of racism and poverty, o f youth, the juvenile injus tice system, sex, stolen car rides, and outrageous highs. I lived for those friends. But the freaks I saw in the picture books were special. I connected with them on another level entirely. For me, they were right up there with Che Guever a, Lili uokalani, Marcus Garvey, W ilt Chamberlain, and Cesar Chavez. Something about them drew me in and gave shape to an unacknowledged part o f me. They made me feel real. Now I find myself on the other side, with a community of eyes bearing down on me. I wonder, what would I have had the half-girl, the elephant man, and the two-headed monster say to me if they could have inserted themselves whole into the text that surrounded their pictures? How are we different? shelter-even when the shelter is only conditional. I live in alien skin. I acknowledge every day How are we alike? how inescapable the reality o f racism is and how Our individual experiences are vastly differ profoundly it affects my life. I come from Hawaii. ent based on where we sit in relationship to each The people of my community have suffered colo other in the hierarchy o f privilege, and power. Race, gender, and sexual orientation are funda nization-cultural, political, and psychological devastation. Our nation has been turned into a mental to the structure of hierarchy in our society. combination resort and military reservation. We It separates us from one another physically. It imposes an apartheid of the mind and of the spirit have been robbed o f our land, our language, our self-determination and national sovereignty. I upon us in ways which make us tear one another grew up in a community of peers who lived for the apart. Unity across these barriers is an act of day, never sure o f a tomorrow. One in five men rebellion that could get you killed. go to jail-half live on public assistance. We try to Yet, in spite of the differences white racism place ourselves in the world by looking for people places between us there are similarities. The who wear our faces and see them homeless, wear racism which drives white Americans to support ing army uniforms, in the obituaries, on welfare war against people o f color in Vietnam, the Middle lines, in public housing, suffering from alcohol East, and Latin America and which drives a war ism, drug addiction, poverty. We see them mak machine African-Americans must die for more ing their living by sewing leis, posing in grass often than any other group, destroys us all. The skirts, cleaning hotel rooms, dancing and fucking. military industrial complex robs poor whites of Syphilis, gonorrhea, chicken pox, and measles needed services, of health care, housing, adequate have been killing us for generations. By the time food, and employment just as surely as it devours poor people of color. Our common need for my first friend died o f AIDS, I thought I was all adequate shelter, food, and health care to remain cried o u t I was wrong. alive are more real biological determinants of In the face o f all of this, we created and re who we are than racial characteristics. created our cultural lives over and over again. We The women’s movement and the gay and knew how to have fun like only those who believe lesbian liberation movements so often, and jus they have no future can. tifiably, accused of racism, are confronted with Dealing with homophobia in my home com those weaknesses now more than ever as gays and munity was no more or less difficult than in the women and people o f color find themselves si white community. The only difference is that Pacific Island gay men and lesbians lack re multaneously under attack by the racist right, while fumbling in our struggle to construct a sources in a community already politically and unified defense. As the right wing strips us of our economically devastated by racism. Making the civil rights, the weaknesses in American-style demand for access and inclusion there requires a “democracy” become painfully clear, and gives a different approach. You do not yell at the only renewed sense of urgency to our common need to people who have provided you shelter while they confront white racism. Lesbians and gay men of are selling foods tamps to pay the re n t color are thrust into double jeopardy. But we are Being a person o f color in the lesbian and gay community of Portland is something altogether not alone, and what affects us will affect all of society. different Here, the organized and gay identified What does this mean? community is dominated by whites. I live and What we can know about each other is limited play and organize among white gay and lesbian by the political realities facing us and the way people, many of whom would put $100 ten times these realities shape the social context within over into workshops to learn to say Asian and not which we live our lives. We can only know each Oriental, but would not put five cents into a other through change and confront the societal “straight” Asian or Pacific Islander community barriers which separate us. To do so requires effort I live in alien skin. Few white gays and action. We need a real commitment to make lesbians know how to accept and connect with change that goes beyond consciousness raising more than the gay part of me, which is a tragedy, workshops and reading essays. We need to move really. Not so much because of what it means for beyond the point of looking to acting. us as individuals, but because of what it reveals So, this freak show is over. And you still don’t about us politically. know me. But you do not yell at people who offer you A ▼ by Lynn R. Nakamoto e all repeatedly experience a Pacific Islander lesbians, despite our very real number o f indignities in every existence, are accordingly invisible. day life based on sexual orienta Unfortunately, this invisibility occurs also in tion. Add to that the hassles our own cultures and, too often, in the lesbian and based on sex if you’re a lesbian, gay community. I struggle for my place despite and for me, add to that the difficulties active based silencing on my or studied neglect of my lesbian skin color and racial characteristics. Sometimes ism from my Japanese American culture, and it is gratuitous abuse. Just this week, my partner disregard from other quarters based on my being and I were in an elevator in the parking lot next to a woman or Japanese. Pioneer Place in downtown Portland. A hetero I find interesting, however, that people of all sexual couple entered the elevator. After we had stripes tend to be surprised when I say something stepped out, just before the doors closed, the about their problems with me because they expect woman yelled out, in a tone that did not demon that all Asian women are or ought to be meek and strate friendly recognition, “Dykes!" She could submissive. We are not. We are also not mono have said jap or chink or the like, it happens to me lithic, as even the group label in which we find about as often. ourselves, Asians and Pacific Islanders, indicates. Ignoring people o f color is only slightly more I think it is time for us, the lesbian and gay subtle and yet omnipresent. Take shopping, for community, to get to know one another, or our instance. I can be the one who is obviously social and political endeavors to include everyone shopping but have salespeople run over to ask my will continue to fail. white partner standing next to me if she needs any Everyone in the lesbian and gay community help. Or, having made eye contact with someone should attempt to get to know, learn from, and behind the counter after being the first one to trust others who are different from themselves, approach, have them turn around and say to the whether socially or in political organizations. nearest white person, “W ho’s next?” The list is Lesbians and gay men of color have to go through endless. this process o f learning about each other as well. And then there is television. Just last night, It is simply not enough to seek out a person of Dec. 12, one o f the lines on the sitcom “Wings” color to be in an organization to really bring referred to a Filipina woman ordered by mail from together the diversity o f our community. If we a catalogue, who didn’t work out for the hapless don’t take the time to discover one another, we white male character on the show. O f course, that will often find ourselves missing cues and getting was assumed to be highly incongruous and thus wrong impressions-the stuff that leads individu funny. als to walk away from participation in the com I don’t think it is too trite to note that being munity. Such losses not only demonstrate that we lesbian, an Asian, and a woman in the United don’t really care about or value diversity, but that States is a complex thing that gives me a rich, and our community is missing valuable perspectives. sometimes difficult, experience o f and perspec As a lesbian o f color, I yearn for inclusiveness. tive on life. I am viewed and treated, however, as I am encouraged by recent developments in local if I had separate identities. The incidents above Asian political organizing. I am also getting to exemplify a part o f this. know Asian and Pacific Islander gay men. I am References like the one on television or the excited about the possibilities after the recent omnipresent objectification for mass appeal as retreat for lesbians o f color sponsored by the exotica basically define our presence as Asian Lesbian Community Project I hope to see further and Pacific Islander women, then, you must be efforts in 1992, all my communities can benefit submissive and appealing to men. Asian and from more people, more views, and more support. W
