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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (July 1, 1989)
Attention Women! Bob W einreich: Learning healer For gay men , groups are particularly useful because they help counteract the isolation that often comes with gay identity* B Y ___ A N N D E E H O C H M A N ob Weinreich, Ph.D., looks like a wiry adolescent as he bounds through the two-minute tour of the Men's Resource Center Counseling Center in Southeast Portland. The building looks unspectacular, an old blue house with tidy rooms done up in soft counseling-office colors. Weinreich, one of the four partners who run MRC, has a manner to match. Soft- spoken, almost shy, he answers a question 'f$rt£\QJL^ and waits politely for the next cue. He talks gently about the changing needs that prompted MRC’s evolution from a social center for rap groups and films to a private, professional counseling center designed, ambitiously, to serve all men. What's significant is that this design seems to work. Somehow. MRC's programs have always served both gay and straight men, yet seem not to have been riddled with divisive homophobia and infighting. Weinreich says he's comfortable as the only gay man on staff. The domestic violence program so well-known that some people believe it's MRC's only focus draws men from varied backgrounds (as well as their partners) who want to stop behaving in abusive ways. The MRC Counseling Center seems a peaceful barometer of our times, changing to meet 1980s issues like battering and single parenthood for men, yet remaining true to its intentions. In a time of specialization, the center tries to serve all men. In an age of focus on the self, it insists on the value of group counseling. The folks in the modest blue house aren't trying to change the world. They just want to open some doors in the minds of the men who walk in. Weinreich smiles slightly when he talks about how that happens. The clients, he says, teach him. And each other. “At this time we are a fairly comprehen sive counseling center for men and their partners and families on personal, emotional and mental health issues. We've evolved over the years. We weren’t always a counseling center. Before I started here in 1982, the counseling component was just part of what the Men’s Resource Center was. We were more a resource center. That name is something of a misnomer now . “One change is that we no longer serve only men. We have two female staff. In most of the work that is being done with women, the women are the partners of men involved in our domestic violence program. But we also have women in family and couple relationships. “In 1973 the Men’s Resource Center started. At that time, it was an outgrowth, really, of the women's movement, the women’s resource centers and the decision of a group of men locally to do something about men’s consciousness and men's roles. So this organization was formed. And there were lots of community forums, lots of discussions, rap groups, retreats, film nights, all sorts of really early-'70s rap-consciousness change that was happening. It was a very important time. And then gradually over the years we’ve evolved. I think, in keeping with what's happened in the 1980s. Two years — — ago we privatized. The evolution has been toward the counseling programs. “That work begun in the '70s isn’t finished, but I don’t think there is as strong a need for doing it the same way. Today, men are changing their roles more in their private lives, in thtir friendships. Part of it is just the times. “There's basically three subdivisions here. One we call general counseling. Then we have domestic violence and gay men's counseling. One of the main emphases of this center has been to create it for all men, so the idea of integrating gay men and straight men has always been foremost for us. We offer groups in all three programs; group work is one of our specialties. It’s something that we feel is particularly effective and powerful. “The domestic violence program has evolved over a number of years and has become more and more comprehensive. We serve both partners — the men and the women. We ask them to come together for an intake interview, and then we put the man into a men’s group focusing on his anger and control issues and power issues, how to recognize the ways he is abusive and how to stop that. Meanwhile, the woman, if she chooses, goes into a group led by a female counselor to heighten awareness around victimization and recovery. “Down the road, after each of them has done that initial work, there’s the option of working together in a couple’s group co-led by a man and a woman where the goal is to continue a non-violent agreement and also to heal the relationship and work on more constructive communication. “In general I think groups are effective because they offer an increased opportunity for gaining support from others and for offering that and learning. I think the learning opportunities are increased in groups. And therefore the power is increased, in terms of how much support, how much energy is there for working and how much advancement can be made. “In the domestic violence groups, we see that very clearly. It is the men challenging each other which I see as the most therapeutic event. The person most credible to a man who’s in that place of questioning his own values and looking at control issues is another man who’s been there or is there and is really only a few steps ahead of him. “I think for gay people — gay men, in this case — groups are particularly useful because they help counteract the isolation that often comes with gay identity. We know that gay community is essential in order to liberate oneself and see oneself more clearly and realistically, to be able to compare to other people and the issues that they face. “It’s been a commitment from the start that the Men's Resource Center serve basically all men — all that we could feasibly serve — and certainly the major minorities such as gay men, men of color, differently- abled men. So the commitment is there. It has not been a particularly difficult problem for the staff because all the men who have been here come with that understanding and. I think, a lot of advanced work themselves. They already have dealt with some of those issues. Many of the men — I think most of the men here — have worked for gay-rights causes, even if they’re not gay themselves. “One difficulty that we are faced with on an ongoing basis is how clients — our straight clients — react and deal with the knowledge that we serve all men, including gay men, and how that raises homophobia. We have our bulletin board out there, but some men who come for the domestic services may walk right out the door if they see the word 'gay' printed anywhere. So we have to work at that level with them — and it's sort of a fine line. The fine line is to educate without alienating. “It’s not so much an issue in the general therapy groups. It has been more an issue in some of the domestic violence groups because of the relationship between control and sexism and homophobia. It’s rare that I make my identity as a gay man known in the domestic violence groups. In other groups, it would probably not be as rare. “But I think that’s the challenge — to help other men accept that we're here to serve all people, and that sort of integration is what we favor. Hopefully, it’s a sign of mental health and growth for clients as well. “The history of the Men’s Resource Center, in the public’s view, has changed over time. The public or other agencies have often thought that we are a solely gay counseling center, then for a while it was only domestic violence...The feedback I’m getting now is that people aré understanding more the breadth of the work that we do. “I view the people I work with — my clients — as my teachers. I learn something with each new person I meet. And I think that’s really important for therapists; to leam from their clients. I think that’s how one starts to be useful to that person, when you really can understand and leam how that person functions, thinks, feels. So that’s been real important. On the staff level, the cooperation is incredibly wonderful and important. It’s what keeps me here more than anything. I have never experienced a better work environment than here. “There’s simply not the type of behind- the-scenes power plays that are so frequent in bureaucratic agencies and. sadly, in so many mental health agencies as well. So this is a real attraction. And I believe that it trickles down and makes for really good work with the people we see because I think our staff is very happy with what we do. We don’t have problems at the higher level. And almost always when there are management problems they affect the work that the service people are doing. “How do you know when you're making a difference? Well, you see a change. You see a change in a person from when they first came to see you to when they’re ready to leave. Sometimes it is just a physical change. Or a behavioral change — in terms of how they look, how they present themselves, what sort of expression they have...And we know directly, by what people tell us. “The results feel very tangible in the domestic violence program, when there's solid evidence that violence has stopped, guys arc learning new behaviors. So that’s real tangible. The groups themselves provide evidence of that. Sometimes it’s almost like you can feel it in the air, the feeling that people have been helped and are helping each other.” w w om antrelf W a y n e n o w p ro u d ly re p re se n ts W o m a n tre k . 1989-1990 Itineraries Touring Trips: Travel by bus. boat, train, van. Adventure travel trips using tradi tional transportation. Non-biking/hiking tours. Visit: •Africa «Soviet Union • Mexico «Puerto Rico •Thailand «Tibet •Costa Rica •China: Yangtze Valley Area Cruises: Warm, sunny climates are cho sen for these destinations. Cruise ships are a fun. relaxing way to see the area and local interest points: •Galapagos Islands Cruise •Caribbean Cruise Trekking: Walking/hiking tours where you carry a daypack and porter, horses, or llamas carry the rest of your gear. All treks are moderate: • Peru »Greece •India «Sikkim • Nepal Bicycling Tours: Cycling is an intimate way to see the country! A van carries all luggage and lets you adjust the mileage to what is comfortable for you on a daily basis. Open to beginner and experi enced cyclists: •China »West Africa • Nova Scotia Llama Pack Trips, Rafting and Sea Kayaking trips are also available. Call for details and exciting brochures. RSVP Cruises is forming a women's group for 1990. Call for details. Wayne Boulette Travel Counselor VISTA TRAVEL SERVICE 224-5000 200 S.W. MARKET • PORTLAND. OR TO LL FR E E USA 1 800 245-5557 - - FAX: 503-299-6831 just oui ▼ 13 ▼ July 198é
