Attention Women!
Bob W einreich: Learning healer
For gay men , groups are particularly useful because they help
counteract the isolation that often comes with gay identity*
B Y ___ A N N D E E
H O C H M A N
ob Weinreich, Ph.D., looks like a wiry
adolescent as he bounds through the
two-minute tour of the Men's Resource
Center Counseling Center in Southeast
Portland. The building looks unspectacular,
an old blue house with tidy rooms done up in
soft counseling-office colors.
Weinreich, one of the four partners who
run MRC, has a manner to match. Soft-
spoken, almost shy, he answers a question
'f$rt£\QJL^
and waits politely for the next cue. He talks
gently about the changing needs that
prompted MRC’s evolution from a social
center for rap groups and films to a private,
professional counseling center designed,
ambitiously, to serve all men.
What's significant is that this design
seems to work. Somehow. MRC's programs
have always served both gay and straight
men, yet seem not to have been riddled with
divisive homophobia and infighting.
Weinreich says he's comfortable as the only
gay man on staff. The domestic violence
program so well-known that some people
believe it's MRC's only focus draws men
from varied backgrounds (as well as their
partners) who want to stop behaving in
abusive ways.
The MRC Counseling Center seems a
peaceful barometer of our times, changing to
meet 1980s issues like battering and single
parenthood for men, yet remaining true to its
intentions. In a time of specialization, the
center tries to serve all men. In an age of
focus on the self, it insists on the value of
group counseling.
The folks in the modest blue house aren't
trying to change the world. They just want to
open some doors in the minds of the men who
walk in. Weinreich smiles slightly when he
talks about how that happens. The clients, he
says, teach him. And each other.
“At this time we are a fairly comprehen
sive counseling center for men and their
partners and families on personal, emotional
and mental health issues. We've evolved
over the years. We weren’t always a
counseling center. Before I started here in
1982, the counseling component was just part
of what the Men’s Resource Center was. We
were more a resource center. That name is
something of a misnomer now .
“One change is that we no longer serve
only men. We have two female staff. In
most of the work that is being done with
women, the women are the partners of men
involved in our domestic violence program.
But we also have women in family and
couple relationships.
“In 1973 the Men’s Resource Center
started. At that time, it was an outgrowth,
really, of the women's movement, the
women’s resource centers and the decision of
a group of men locally to do something about
men’s consciousness and men's roles. So this
organization was formed. And there were
lots of community forums, lots of discussions,
rap groups, retreats, film nights, all sorts of
really early-'70s rap-consciousness change
that was happening. It was a very important
time. And then gradually over the years
we’ve evolved. I think, in keeping with
what's happened in the 1980s. Two years
—
—
ago we privatized. The evolution has been
toward the counseling programs.
“That work begun in the '70s isn’t
finished, but I don’t think there is as strong a
need for doing it the same way. Today, men
are changing their roles more in their private
lives, in thtir friendships. Part of it is just the
times.
“There's basically three subdivisions here.
One we call general counseling. Then we
have domestic violence and gay men's
counseling. One of the main emphases of this
center has been to create it for all men, so the
idea of integrating gay men and straight men
has always been foremost for us. We offer
groups in all three programs; group work is
one of our specialties. It’s something that we
feel is particularly effective and powerful.
“The domestic violence program has
evolved over a number of years and has
become more and more comprehensive. We
serve both partners — the men and the
women. We ask them to come together for an
intake interview, and then we put the man
into a men’s group focusing on his anger and
control issues and power issues, how to
recognize the ways he is abusive and how to
stop that. Meanwhile, the woman, if she
chooses, goes into a group led by a female
counselor to heighten awareness around
victimization and recovery.
“Down the road, after each of them has
done that initial work, there’s the option of
working together in a couple’s group co-led
by a man and a woman where the goal is to
continue a non-violent agreement and also to
heal the relationship and work on more
constructive communication.
“In general I think groups are effective
because they offer an increased opportunity
for gaining support from others and for
offering that and learning. I think the
learning opportunities are increased in
groups. And therefore the power is increased,
in terms of how much support, how much
energy is there for working and how much
advancement can be made.
“In the domestic violence groups, we see
that very clearly. It is the men challenging
each other which I see as the most therapeutic
event. The person most credible to a man
who’s in that place of questioning his own
values and looking at control issues is another
man who’s been there or is there and is really
only a few steps ahead of him.
“I think for gay people — gay men, in this
case — groups are particularly useful because
they help counteract the isolation that often
comes with gay identity. We know that gay
community is essential in order to liberate
oneself and see oneself more clearly and
realistically, to be able to compare to other
people and the issues that they face.
“It’s been a commitment from the start
that the Men's Resource Center serve
basically all men — all that we could feasibly
serve — and certainly the major minorities
such as gay men, men of color, differently-
abled men. So the commitment is there. It
has not been a particularly difficult problem
for the staff because all the men who have
been here come with that understanding and. I
think, a lot of advanced work themselves.
They already have dealt with some of those
issues. Many of the men — I think most of
the men here — have worked for gay-rights
causes, even if they’re not gay themselves.
“One difficulty that we are faced with on
an ongoing basis is how clients — our
straight clients — react and deal with the
knowledge that we serve all men, including
gay men, and how that raises homophobia.
We have our bulletin board out there, but
some men who come for the domestic
services may walk right out the door if they
see the word 'gay' printed anywhere. So we
have to work at that level with them — and
it's sort of a fine line. The fine line is to
educate without alienating.
“It’s not so much an issue in the general
therapy groups. It has been more an issue in
some of the domestic violence groups
because of the relationship between control
and sexism and homophobia. It’s rare that I
make my identity as a gay man known in the
domestic violence groups. In other groups, it
would probably not be as rare.
“But I think that’s the challenge — to help
other men accept that we're here to serve all
people, and that sort of integration is what we
favor. Hopefully, it’s a sign of mental health
and growth for clients as well.
“The history of the Men’s Resource
Center, in the public’s view, has changed
over time. The public or other agencies have
often thought that we are a solely gay
counseling center, then for a while it was only
domestic violence...The feedback I’m getting
now is that people aré understanding more the
breadth of the work that we do.
“I view the people I work with — my
clients — as my teachers. I learn something
with each new person I meet. And I think
that’s really important for therapists; to leam
from their clients. I think that’s how one
starts to be useful to that person, when you
really can understand and leam how that
person functions, thinks, feels. So that’s been
real important. On the staff level, the
cooperation is incredibly wonderful and
important. It’s what keeps me here more than
anything. I have never experienced a better
work environment than here.
“There’s simply not the type of behind-
the-scenes power plays that are so frequent in
bureaucratic agencies and. sadly, in so many
mental health agencies as well. So this is a
real attraction. And I believe that it trickles
down and makes for really good work with
the people we see because I think our staff is
very happy with what we do. We don’t have
problems at the higher level. And almost
always when there are management problems
they affect the work that the service people
are doing.
“How do you know when you're making a
difference? Well, you see a change. You see
a change in a person from when they first
came to see you to when they’re ready to
leave. Sometimes it is just a physical change.
Or a behavioral change — in terms of how
they look, how they present themselves, what
sort of expression they have...And we know
directly, by what people tell us.
“The results feel very tangible in the
domestic violence program, when there's
solid evidence that violence has stopped, guys
arc learning new behaviors. So that’s real
tangible. The groups themselves provide
evidence of that. Sometimes it’s almost like
you can feel it in the air, the feeling that
people have been helped and are helping each
other.”
w
w om antrelf
W a y n e n o w p ro u d ly
re p re se n ts W o m a n tre k .
1989-1990 Itineraries
Touring Trips: Travel by bus. boat, train,
van. Adventure travel trips using tradi
tional transportation. Non-biking/hiking
tours. Visit:
•Africa
«Soviet Union
• Mexico
«Puerto Rico
•Thailand
«Tibet
•Costa Rica
•China: Yangtze Valley Area
Cruises: Warm, sunny climates are cho
sen for these destinations. Cruise ships
are a fun. relaxing way to see the area
and local interest points:
•Galapagos Islands Cruise
•Caribbean Cruise
Trekking: Walking/hiking tours where
you carry a daypack and porter, horses,
or llamas carry the rest of your gear. All
treks are moderate:
• Peru
»Greece
•India
«Sikkim
• Nepal
Bicycling Tours: Cycling is an intimate
way to see the country! A van carries all
luggage and lets you adjust the mileage
to what is comfortable for you on a daily
basis. Open to beginner and experi
enced cyclists:
•China
»West Africa
• Nova Scotia
Llama Pack Trips, Rafting
and Sea Kayaking trips
are also available. Call
for details and exciting
brochures.
RSVP Cruises is forming a
women's group for 1990.
Call for details.
Wayne Boulette
Travel Counselor
VISTA TRAVEL
SERVICE
224-5000
200 S.W. MARKET • PORTLAND. OR
TO LL FR E E USA
1 800 245-5557
-
-
FAX: 503-299-6831
just oui ▼ 13 ▼ July 198é