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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 1, 1987)
Highlights and Lowlifes L A G U N A B ITCH AND t T p P 1 Wish F d said that! “ La Cage aux Folles is not a gay show.” Peter Marshall, star of the national touring company, in the Oregonian. (And Kurt Wald heim is not a Nazi.) “ And the gays said, ‘You know, we gays, we are men become women because of our reach for beauty!" Imelda Marcos claimed that her husband, Ferdinand, had the gay vote wrapped up in the February Filipino elections, because gays were afraid they would all lose their jobs under “ a less flamboyant administration.” (Ohh, Mary!) “ We used to call him ‘Fairy Mason’.” Pat Bond, referring to Raymond Burr, on Queersville. “ He’s a disaster.” Commissioner Dick Bogle, referring to Bob Koch, who defeated incumbent Margaret Strachan for Portland City Commission, on KGW-TV. (Maybe if we leave the keys in him . . .) “ I’m not one who thinks homosexuals have rights.” The late State Senator L.B. Day. (Thank you, God.) That dumb bitch should have realized she was only adding to my power.” Police Union President Stan Peters on the fall of former Chief Penny Harrington (Put your gun where your mouth is, Stan.) “ AIDS is a disease of choice.” State Health Division Administrator Kristine Gebbie, on KEX Radio, as reported by City Week. (Seeyou in the unemployment line.) "Com e out of the closet and debate.” Republican candidate I inda Chavez taunting Democrat Barbara Mikulski in the Maryland Senate race. Characterizing Mukulski as “ a San Francisco style liberal,” Chavez all but called her opponent a lesbian. Mikulski won handily. “ Mildred Schwab could only have an or gasm when it was budget time in the City of Portland.” Mayor Bud Clark to Tom Brokaw about his frequent foe on City Commission. (At least she enjoys her job.) " I ’ll take a drug test as soon as my opponent takes an IQ test.” South Carolina Senator Ernest Ifollings when challenged to a drug test. Her os or Zeroes in the White House “ I have bitter bile in my throat.” Ronald Reagan, in Time magazine. (The White House is the new Gong Show.) “ The women of America aren’t prepared to give up their jewelry." White House chief of staff Don Regan, justifying the Reagan Admnistration policy in South Africa. (And the boys aren't prepared to give up their uranium ore.) “ Get off my god-damned back," Ronnie to Nancy, who was advising him to fire Don Regan. (Just say no, Ronnie.) “ President Reagan may have approved the First shipment of US arms to Iran while he was ill or under sedation.” Attributed to Attorney General Edwin Meese. (Challenge this man to a drug test.) ’’The only way that the Republican Party can hold the White House in 1988 is to nominate a candidate who can win.” Alexander Haig, an nouncing his [Republican] candidacy for presi dent. (Challenge this man to an IQ test.) Add this to your vocabulary PC (now means personal computer) Substance Abuse Crack MAX (bringing Gresham to the city) Damage Control (what Reagan lacks, not a guarantee) LWW becomes LWW (Lesbian Welcome Wagon, under threats from Welcome Wagon Internationl, becomes Lesbians Wishing Welcome) Stress-related disabililty (Didn’t this used to be called something else?) Adopt-a-dyke (Bringing women to the Lucille Hart Dinner.) Incest Survivor Adult Children of Alcoholics Did you fall for this fad? Wine Coolers (Kool-aid goes upmarket.) Phone Sex (Gives new meaning to phone jack.) Working Out (Is the gym the new closet?) Dating (Ultimate retro trend.) The Monkee Revival (There is no American Culture, there is only American taste.) Enough already! Shoulder Pads (Falsies fo r the ’80s.) Dr. Ruth (Cable's answer to phone sex.) Ron Reagan, the younger, (Come out o f your closet and debate.) Walt Curtis/Mala Noche/Gus Van Sant Inter view Magazine (Your 15 minutes are up, Andy.) Vanne White (The cult continues.) Bruce Springsteen (He’s from New Jersey, fo r Chrissake.) GentriFiction of Fast Food. (Blackened McCroissant?) Cajun (Has the Willamette turned into the Bayou?) Bill Cosby (Blandness knows no color.) Keith Hering Antonin Scalia Spinal realignment Non-force techniques Nutrition/Prevention Massage/Kinesiology Physical therapy Sports medicine Gays news (The one tenth estate) Don t that beat all! Kelly Chronister, coverboy (Newsweek comes to Portland.) Performers for Life raises $8,000 at the Schnitz for AIDS support groups; the Oregonian carries a photo of two men dancing. Cascade AIDS Project’s Bike for Life fundraiser pedals $25,000 into CAP coffers. Liberty Weekend, New York City: 6,000,000 tourists, 600 toilets (What is wrong with this picture?) Lesbian Nuns (Is this redundant?) A too-too-avid Liz Taylor fan steals a toilet seat from a New York theatre after her usage (A Scratch ’n Sniff Story.) Phil Donahue beats up a LaRouchie in LaGuardia Ailrport Reagan sends a cake to Iran. Gordon Shadburne runs again! Be Still My Heart Sigourney Weaver in her underwear in Aliens. Richard Gonoung out of his in Parting Glances. Daniel Day Lewis drizzling champagne into the mouth of Gordon Warnecke in My Beautiful Laundrette. Patricia Charbonneau steam cleans in Desert Hearts. Lea Delaria (Bitchery meets Butchery.) Tom Koberstein (Eroticizing safe sex.) UPS Delivery persons (All o f them, unreservedly.) The Supreme Court cancels sodomy Attorney General Ed Meese cancels pornography The Pope cancels Gays Gresham Outlook canels Just Out PSU Women’s Union cancels On Our Backs When is News Not News? “ Study Shows EfFiminate [s/c] Boys Grow Up Gay.” Headline, City Week, 12/19/86. ( “City News when it’s News’ ’ [City Week filler].) The New York Post ran a doctored photo of Moammar Qadaffi in earrings, make-up, and a wig, with the caption, “ Dressed in drag QuadafFi might look like this.” The Oregonian refused to cover the Interna tional Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Convention in Portland (When no news is policy.) “ Does anyone care?” queried columnist Randy Radar in the COP, reporting that Robert Paul Dunn, former publisher/editor of The Eagle Newsmagazine, is an AIDS patient in Portland. (The gay community draws together in time o f crisis.) Whatever happened to? Divine at Starry Night? Eartha Kitt at the Masonic Temple? (Eartha to Sun City, Eartha to Sun City . . .) The new Family Zoo? “ Life with Lucy” Leslie Kinney’s new eddition of “ Exclusively Out and About’ ’ ? From complacent cows Escape from New York Pizza La Patisserie Plaid Pantry Albertson’s Col. Sander’s Kentucky Fried Chicken Skipper’s Thrift way (Guess who still serves Alpenrose?) We predict Fondue Parties (Will yours be Lite or Classic?) Presidential primaries become bake-offs; hostile foreign dignitaries decide winner. “ Amerika,” ABC’s mini-series about a UN assisted Russian takeover of a United States gone soft (Start the boycott now.) Reagan applies for “ stress-related disability.” City denies Bob Koch access to Twinkies. • THE OPEN DOOR NEW AGE CENTER You are invited to share a viewing o f Louise L. Hay's Doors Opening: A Positive Approach to AIDS Books • New Age Music Workshops Astrology • Numerology • Tarot Meditation • Healing 1130 SW Morrison, Ste. 301 222-2888 Worker’s Comp & Auto Injuries Cover Chiropractic Care Insurance Accepted January. 1987 Roy Cohn (An Anti-Semitic Jewish Gay Homophobe.) Gordon Shadburne (' ’San Francisco-style’ conservative.) Robert Bauman, former Republican Congressman from Maryland who parlayed a career o f bigotry and boys into the book Confessions o f a Gay Conservative (Waitfor the movie.) John “ Terry” Dolan, Executive Director of the National Conservative Political Action Committee (NCPAC) and a major architect of homophobia, keeps a lower proFile amongst fellow fascists since his “ homo sexual proclivities” came to light. Old CAP vs. New CAP (Generation GAP) Lesbian/Gay Pride Steering Committee vs Out Media Alpenrose vs Foodfront Doctor on page for emergencies t Get thee behind me Ex Popies rule! Three former divines go up wardly mobile in the gay community. Tom Koberstein, former Dominican, leads Cascade AIDS Project. Dan Stutesman, former Catholic priest, heads • • • • • • Just Out Right Wing Fairy, Department. Is this a coincidence? T otal Personal H ealth Concept" Rena Sandler. D.C. the American Friends Service Committee Gay and Lesbian Task Force. Christopher Eskeli, former Dominican, directs Right Step Recovery Unit. (Sure as hell beats the job corps.) To disagree is human, to spat divine B etter H ealth C hiropractic C linic “A John Piacentini vs Plaid Pantry workers (Come out o f your closet and negotiate.) Democrats for Paulus vs Democrats for Goldschmidt 1644 N.E. Hwy. 101 Lincoln City, Oregon 97367 994-2m