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About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 1, 1986)
t II Two Xmas Carols by Scott Swentek I T h e swivel chair creaked as Carol stuffed the last of her papers into her satchel. “N o w we can go to the beach and m ou n tains,” she continued. “A nd it gets really good mileage." She scanned a notepad on her desk. “D id you know that twelve doctors can be trained for what one B -5 2 bom ber costs." “I d o n ’t care," Lester said pointedly. “What difference does that make to me." “W h y Lester, everyone should concern themselves with the issues.” “Bullshit; everyone should concern them selves with themselves. If you’re so concerned with the issues, why did you buy that polluting chunk of steel?” Carol held her satchel firmly in front of her. “It’s far m ore economical and ecological for J im and I to get one car instead of one each. We got a foreign car only after assessing all the socioeconom ic considerations. Good grief, Lester, you’ve known me long enough to know how m uch time I spend considering things.” "You could have gotten bicycles." Lester turned back to his overtime paperwork. He had a family Xm as to support "You’re being obtuse on purpose.” Carol patted his back as she walked o u t “Hope you’re in a better m ood after the holidays. Merry Xmas." “Merry dam n Xmas," Lester growled. T h e car was waiting by the curb. “More work," J im moaned as she got in. “C a n ’t you leave it here once in a while.” He put the car in gear. “If I did we’d still be riding the bus.” "At least we had time to talk." Jim paused. •"How’d itg o ? " “ New report to work on and Lester was a bit grouchy.” "He puts up with a lot" “T h a t’s mean," Carol pouted. “Well, what was it about?" “He thinks our getting the car is bourgeois." “ He’s right” Jim turned his eyes from the road to meet Carol’s glare.“Seriously though, d o n ’t you think now that we've started on the Just Out. January, 1^5 co m m unal property we should continue to the connubial.” He pulled the car in the apart m ent driveway and killed the engine. “Jim , we've been over this." T h e y got out of the car. “We each need our own space." Carol opened her door and indicated her cluttered kitchen table as she took off her scarf. “If we lived together we wouldn’t know where one of your reports began and where one of mine left off." “I’m not as messy as you are and if we lived together we wouldn’t have to keep hustling to keep up two apartments." J im kissed her ex posed neck and Carol broke away into the kitchen. “We might even consider raising a couple of monsters," he called. “Jim , you know I’m not into the maternal trip." She poured two cups of instant coffee and paused. "Think of all those poor C am bo dian babies." Tears formed and she shook them away. “God, Jim , this world’s too hel lish." She handed him his cup. "I decline any resemblance to Faust" "O h , Jim .” Carol looked at the half-decorated tree dominating the room. "Let’s finish the tree and exchange gifts. You can put me on your shoulders so I can put on the star, just like daddy used to." With a moderate am ount of horseplay they finished the tree and Carol, hunched on J im ’s shoulders, put the star on top. J im tumbled them onto the couch. “Jim , stop.” Carol punched him in the chest and bounced to a kneeling position. "N o w what'd you get me." J im pulled a small jeweler’s box from his pocket "You first" “Tease.” Carol handed him an envelope from the sidetable and watched him open it "R em em ber how upset you got when the pill screwed up m y hormones and I was crying all the time. Well, I decided to do something to keep our relationship meaningful." "F ro m me to you and you to me your very own vasectomy," Jim read incredulously and held up the coupon from Planned Parenthood. "Clh huh, now we ll be able to relax I did it for you." J im stared woodenly at her as he tore the coupon to tatters. "Ho, ho, ho," he said. T h e custom er’s swing knocked Carol’s Santa cap awry. She stepped back, smiled and readjusted it over her bandana. “These are great" the man said, twirling the flashlight equipped baton. "W hat’d you say they were for?" “They're light swords; the kids use them to beat on each other." “ Great" Th e man lowered his baton and squinted at her. "W hy you wearing a bandana under that? You hafta wear it?” Carol tugged at a wisp of hair. "No, just the Santa cap. Th e bandana's ’cause I got cancer." T h e m an grimaced. "It all fall out?” "N o, they cut it” “W h y’d you let yourself get cancer?" “G o d did it to me," Carol said indignantly, "I didn’t do it to myself." "W h yn ’t you go to Fiji and eat coconuts. Get healthy and stop beating yourself." He examined the baton judiciously. “I’ll take three of these; can’t leave out anyone." Carol nodded and collected three boxes. "Batteries included?” "Batteries included," she confirmed. A frigid wind blew in through the door with Carol; she kicked it closed and put down her bags. In the living room the T V set was still on. “You kids re supposed to be in bed," she yelled. 'T u r n that off and get your tails under the sheets." She put her coat on the peg and her Santa cap on her chair. Scuffling noises and childish cries came from the living room. “Christ, Jim ." Carol walked into the room. “C a n ’t you get them to bed on time." She sat in her armchair. "You had your baths?" "Yes." “Hah.” “Loisey didn't take hers.” Louise poked Jam ie. “I did too." T h e younger kids tussled until J im grab bed each other by the rear of their pajamas. “C u t it out," he ordered. “You heard Mom, get your tails upstairs." He rushed them up the worn staircase. Carol sighed and leaned her head on the grim y fabric. Th e heat wasn’t working right again. T h e air was hot and sticky with the d a m p smell of little children and old clothes. T h e wall that had been bare that m orning was covered with sm udged crayon pictures of rotund Santas and anemic reindeer. She didn’t ' want to go into the kitchen. Th e pain in her abdom en increased sharply and she groaned. W hen she opened her eyes there was a joint before them. "W here’d you get that?” “Pete next door,” Jim supplied. “I told you not to take things from him. C h rist you use more drugs than I do." Behind her was an invisible smile. "Yeah, yeah," Jim said. “Yeah, yeah," Carol mimicked. "Well what do you want me to do with it stuff it up m y nose?" J im m oved to the front of the armchair, he was wearing her Santa cap. “D o n ’t get it dirty, I gotta wear it tomorrow." Carol closed her eyes as Jim puffed the joint alight "Th a t bastard your father send the check today?" "Nope, I turned in some bottles though; we’re all right" He passed his mother the jo in t “Long as the kids get fed." Carol puffed at the jo int J im rose and walked away. "Yeah, yeah." T h e pain subsided as m uch as it ever did, Carol smiled then frowned. “And d o n ’t take any more grass from Pete." She glared around the chair back. Jim paused at the stairs and pulled the Santa cap over his eyes. "Ho, ho, ho" he said. M EOW 15f0 S< 3/"’ HAWTHORN« Around the corner from the 0ogdod Theoter CARDS. J€IU€IRY PUARKCl GIFTS FOR VOU AND VOUA FAVOAITC FCLINC 11-0 Tues-Sot 12-4 Sun n C O U B T I O U S S S O M S S I O N A l Q S IV IR S PASSEN G ER SERVICES DELIVERY SERVICE P O A T lA N O B! A V IA TO N GA! SHAM M U W A U K lt TIG A AD O V fft 100 C A B S A S C i O S f A S Y O U * PM ONi U C f N S f O FOB T AI#*S A N Y W H i A| S IG H T S ! f ING T O U A S S T A T I O N W A G O N S U P O N R iQ U C S T P A C K A O fS P A A C f lS K N V f lO P f S G I N t A A l C O M M O U M lt S • 2 « M OUAS t O A V S BOM OCO C O U A A A S t A A S M N G IA B U M S A V A A A S il N O WEIGHT LIMIT • JUMPER CABLE SERVICE FAST COURTEOUS SERVICE CALL 227-1212 III) « V U U H I C hiro pra c tic and Naturopatic Healthcare B r u c e D. C h a s e r , D .C . D .K . W o n , N .D ., D .C . V 40 YEARS IN PRACTICE A n o n -p re s s u re healing e n v iro n m e n t in w h ic h the patient is e n c o u ra g e d to participate in the restoration an d m a in te n a n ce of their health. W e treat children, geriatric patients, a n d p e o p le of a n y lifestyle o r p e rsu a sio n . 3 3 4 3 S .E . H a w t h o r n e P o rtla n d , O R 2 3 5 -5 4 8 4 Adults and Children / Families and Couples PATRICIA I. CHANCE. MSW THERAPIST Depression • Relationship Issues Personal Transitions • Incest Survivors Coming Out Concerns • Sliding Fee Scale (505) 220-0210 13