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About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (July 19, 1890)
WEST SHORE. 905 HE SNORED. . Tangle Mendelssohn's V Slumber Song " is a wonderful piece of music, isn't it? Mrs. Tangli I doubt if it's as wonderful as your slumber song is sometimes. TOOKJHM AT HIS WORD. Slowpay (to collector) I can't pay you to-day. Please call again. Collector This is very annoying, I don't want to do that. Slowpay Then stay away ; but don't say that I didn't invite you. TOO VIOLENT EXERCISE. Cumbo The ('octor says I must take plenty of exeicise. I don't know whether to try Indian clubs or dumb-bells. Mrs. Cumbo I wish you would come out with me and wheel the baby carriage a little way. Cumbo Um no, Maria. I doYt want to overdo the thing at first, you know. The liberty my fathers won I'd gladly die to save ; 'Neath Freedom's flag my days begun, 'Neath ty my mortal span shall run, 'Neath it shall be my grave ! The tyrant and his servile clan I scorn, but do not fear; Grand is the brotherhood of man I I am a true republican, A democrat sincere 1 MOVING. Smiley I just saw a moving sight. Dumley What was it? Smiley Wagon load of furniture. A KENTUCKY DIALOGUE. Killer Hatfield I see the legis lature has abolished lotteries. Slayer McCoy That's right; they were dir gracing the state. Ml MM iv. y- mil u . k Proud words are they yet can it be My boast is all in vain? Am I from thralJom wholly free, And doth no tjrant over me Cast a confining chain? Methinks that hovering in the air A vision I can see, Of form and features passing fair, With laughing eyes and golden hair A queen reigns over me I R. II. TlTHBRINQTON. tfh W THEY GO TOGETHER. Johnson Iq Otsego county, Michigan, there is a town named Redheadville. Jackson Yes, it is just across the river from Whitehorse burg. ANNANIAS OUTDONE. Grizzly "to nat awful liars those real estate boomers up in Washington are! Johnhon What have they been doing now? Grizzly Why, when I was up there I saw thera teaming with horses, just as we do here ; but hem is a bcoin pamphlet that says " the entire country teems with game." AND NOT A EIELE. Bank President Well, our affable and gentlemanly cashier has rifled the safe and left. Vice President Well, I am sutprised. I always regarded him as a smooth bore. WHAT WAS THE ORIGINAL PRICE? Mobe Einstein (to reluctant customer) Mine frent, I sold everydinga now at twendy per cent. off. Reluctant Customer So I dbe. Now how much discount does that make on a $10 suit of clothes? SHE COULD VOUCH FOR HIM. CLABA-8o, Belle, you jilted poor Will at last. I low cruel I And now he has entered the army, they say. It's a shame, for I don't believe he will make a good soldier. Belle Oh, yes he will. Clara How do y.u know? Belli (sighing) Because he knows how to use his arms so well. INTENSELY PATRIOTIC. Joiinbon Hello, Grizzly, how are you? Grizzly I was out with the boys last night and I'm na tional colors this mming. Johnson National colors? Grizzly Yes. My eyes are red, my face is white and I feel blue. CoRN-The Ant thing you know I'm pretty fine. Just no tice the tassels on my head and the silk on my ear. Rvi-Wait till you get to be as old as I am and have a long beard before you begin to brag. Wheat Pshaw I Neither one of you is elevated as much as I am. A Tacoma druggist calls his soda fountain " Elijah," be cause it is a great profit.