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About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (June 21, 1890)
WEST SHORE. 783 Pat Workin'now? Mike Yis, lookin' fer a job. Johnny Papa, what is the cannonization of a saint? Papa Oh, it's sort of making a big gun of him. " Your shoes are too tight," they told her ; but no, She treated the notion with scorn ; Till a horrid man trod on her tenderest toe, And she had to " acknowledge the corn." A grave subiect a dead man. A settled conviction ninety-nine years. A maiden effort the first attempt to " see her home." A foregone conclusion stump of a thoroughbred's tail. . SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT. Shoe Dealer (facetiously, to customer) Why, I sell shoes so cheap that I might almost be called a freebooter. Customer H'm 1 I think you sell them so dear that you might almost be called a robber. HE SELLS THE BAD ONES. " You don't keep bad cigars, I suppose? " said Cumso to a tobacconist. " No, indeed I " was the indignant reply. " Then that is the reason you worked some of them off on me yesterday." STRAUSS'S LETTER TO HIS SWEETHEART. You say dot you vish I vould wride you a letter? Yel, since I haf got to, berbaps I had better; Bat vot I shall say in der letter I sendt you Is vot I can't say, since I vish to gondendt you ; For vimmens mit letters is never gondendted Unless dey been crossed, vich I gannot, ven ended. Und, alzo, unless dere's fife bostscripts appended, I've likevise been told dot dey sure got offended. Und, alzo, I fear und I dremble mit dread Unless, vile in writing vot comes in my head I say, etsample, I drink blenty beer, Viuh I know, if I said, made you look pooty quveer ; At der same time I see dot your temper advance, Vich of gourse you can't help as you vas demperance. Den vot I should wride is der ding puzzles me, Und I scratches my head quvite inzessantly. Shall I dold you how valking along on der shtreet Vile I dink of you only each hereon I meet Vile I dink of my sweetheart, my head bended low, I butts 'gainst his vest mit a batt'rlng ram blow? Shall I say mit your name in each song I gompose I sing it at midnight und vake up der haus? Shall I say how at " Castro's " your name I bropose Mit wriders und bainters till all vas put aus ? Veil, hardtly I should not, so better I glose. Adair Welckbr. " Young Borrowit smokes pretty freely, doesn't he? " " YeB, entirely so. I never saw him buy a cigar." V V U II II 0.2ire was & mS3 k Said n .!. .1. .:. :- could femcmw "