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About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (June 21, 1890)
Her eyes were bright as drops
With starbeams shining in
And tinted with the violet's
Her lips ah, you have seen
Aflame, its kindled beauty
(The dust, a blush) whence
Her heart was like, I can
Just what ; for past regain
She erst bad given that away.
NOT A GOBBLER.
Snooper Do you take me for a turkey, Simeral?
Simkral No; why?
Snooper Then stop trying to stuff me with chestnuts.
A SEVERE TEST.
Stranger (somewhat inebriated, surveying a plank across a
stream) Shay, young fel'! Zhat plank strong nuff f hoi' a
Youno America Try your breath on it.
A late date U : 00 o'clock.
Speaker Reed finds plain sailing in congress; at all events
he is not "stuck on the bar."
S. S. Teacher-Now, Johnny, why was it Jonah was not
digested by the whale?
Johnny Guess it's 'cause he was a brick.
The eternal fitness of things was never better shown than
in the following advertisements that appeared side by side on
a theater programme :
Sold iiy the Waiters,
5 Cth. a Glass.
WILL CONSIST OF TWENTY-FOUR HOURS.
Sun (to moon)-HelIo, Luna, dear I What's the news on
Moon Labor people are agitating for shorter days.
Sure Well, they won't get them while I am running the
A GREAT TRICE.
" Oh, Llllie, did you notice my new ring isn't it just splen
did?" " Magnificent 1 It must have cost a snug fortune."
"What was the price?"
(With a sigh) " My heart."
LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG.
Littli Maude-How can money fly, Mr. Golden? It haint
Mr. Golden Why, what makes you ask such a question
Little Maude-OhI 'cause I .heard sister Pearl say she'd
make your money fly when she got you.
Caller Why I What's the matter? You act as though yon
had lost your senses.
Hostess-I have ; the senses taker was just here.
A SLOW ANIMAL.
Goblin (applying the whip) I'd like to pass that man
ahead there, but I don't think I can with this horse.
Dolley Of course not. That horse couldn't pass a reso
lution. CAN'T STOP TO THINK.
Slowcoach (from Philadelphia) Have you ever stopped to
consider, my dear sir"
Hummer (from New York) No, sir, never. I do all my
thinking on the elevated.
Captain Romnson (indignantly) Here Jones has been
promoted over my head, and I have seen ten years more ser
vice than he has. I call it a shame 1
Captain Jackson Yes, it is a " rank " shame.
1 ! ill
: l. h i
ri"l ; I 'lull
Mks. Bi.essinoton BLooDoooD-Well. Algy, what's the mat
ter now? ' bJ'
Alokrnon BLooDoooD-Well, aunt, you see I'm to row in
the race to-morrow, and Johnson says we must not wear any
wng that can catch the wind. Do you think I ought to shave
otr my mustache?