Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The west shore. (Portland, Or.) 1875-1891 | View Entire Issue (June 21, 1890)
782 WEST ALAS ! Her eyes were bright as drops of dew With starbeams shining in them, And tinted with the violet's hue. Her lips ah, you have seen the rose Aflame, its kindled beauty (The dust, a blush) whence perfume flows? Her heart was like, I can not say Just what ; for past regain ing She erst bad given that away. Lee Fairchild. NOT A GOBBLER. Snooper Do you take me for a turkey, Simeral? Simkral No; why? Snooper Then stop trying to stuff me with chestnuts. A SEVERE TEST. Stranger (somewhat inebriated, surveying a plank across a stream) Shay, young fel'! Zhat plank strong nuff f hoi' a fel'T Youno America Try your breath on it. SHORE. A late date U : 00 o'clock. Speaker Reed finds plain sailing in congress; at all events he is not "stuck on the bar." S. S. Teacher-Now, Johnny, why was it Jonah was not digested by the whale? Johnny Guess it's 'cause he was a brick. The eternal fitness of things was never better shown than in the following advertisements that appeared side by side on a theater programme : LEMONADE Sold iiy the Waiters, 5 Cth. a Glass. DR. BROWN, Consulting Phybician. Fee, $2.50. WILL CONSIST OF TWENTY-FOUR HOURS. Sun (to moon)-HelIo, Luna, dear I What's the news on the earth? Moon Labor people are agitating for shorter days. Sure Well, they won't get them while I am running the machine. A GREAT TRICE. " Oh, Llllie, did you notice my new ring isn't it just splen did?" " Magnificent 1 It must have cost a snug fortune." "It did." "What was the price?" (With a sigh) " My heart." LET THE CAT OUT OF THE BAG. Littli Maude-How can money fly, Mr. Golden? It haint got wings. Mr. Golden Why, what makes you ask such a question Maudy? ' Little Maude-OhI 'cause I .heard sister Pearl say she'd make your money fly when she got you. Caller Why I What's the matter? You act as though yon had lost your senses. Hostess-I have ; the senses taker was just here. A SLOW ANIMAL. Goblin (applying the whip) I'd like to pass that man ahead there, but I don't think I can with this horse. Dolley Of course not. That horse couldn't pass a reso lution. CAN'T STOP TO THINK. Slowcoach (from Philadelphia) Have you ever stopped to consider, my dear sir" Hummer (from New York) No, sir, never. I do all my thinking on the elevated. QUITE' RANK. Captain Romnson (indignantly) Here Jones has been promoted over my head, and I have seen ten years more ser vice than he has. I call it a shame 1 Captain Jackson Yes, it is a " rank " shame. In Mb 1 Will 1 ! ill SIM mm : l. h i ri"l ; I 'lull hi Mks. Bi.essinoton BLooDoooD-Well. Algy, what's the mat ter now? ' bJ' Alokrnon BLooDoooD-Well, aunt, you see I'm to row in the race to-morrow, and Johnson says we must not wear any wng that can catch the wind. Do you think I ought to shave otr my mustache?