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BUSINESS & AG LIFE WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2019 THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD — 3B Millennial Money: Don’t ignore the signs of financial abuse By Kelsey Sheehy NerdWallet Nearly 70% of millennial women have experienced fi nancial abuse by a romantic partner — let that sink in for a second. That means, for every 10 women you know in that age group, odds are that seven of them have had a partner use money to control or manipu- late them, according to a 2017 survey of 2,000 people ages 18-35 by CentSai, a fi nancial wellness website. Sadly, it’s not surprising given that 1 in 4 women will experience intimate partner violence in their lifetime — often for the fi rst time before they are 25 years old, accord- ing to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And fi nancial abuse is present in nearly all domestic abuse cases. But fi nancial abuse can and does occur absent of any physical violence. And it isn’t strictly a millennial problem, nor is it something that happens exclusively to women. Almost 50% of men in the survey by CentSai said they experienced some form of fi nancial abuse. Financial abuse can run the gamut from subtle to egregious. It might look like a partner who can’t keep a job or pay their share of the bills. Or one who makes you feel guilty for spending your own money. But it could also be a partner who offers to handle the household fi nances, then gradually restricts your access to those accounts. Some other common forms of fi nancial abuse: • They open credit cards in your name without your knowledge. • They default on accounts in your name, ruining your credit. • They make you take out loans or borrow from your family, but don’t pay it back. • They hide money from you. • They refuse to let you work or try to sabotage your career. If you feel like you’re being taken advantage of fi nancially, bring it up with your partner. How they react will tell you a lot. Do they get angry? Do they shift the blame to you? Do they make you feel guilty for questioning them? Or do they apologize and take mean- ingful steps to remedy the situation? “A good sign is if you feel like you can have that con- versation and your partner is receptive to it,” says Katie Hood, CEO of the One Love Foundation , a nonprofi t that teaches young people how to identify and avoid abusive relationships. But if you’re avoiding these types of conversations out of fear for how your partner could react, that might be a warning sign. “When someone is in an abusive relationship, they basi- cally start managing their life around another person’s anger and volatility,” Hood says. Financial abuse, like most forms of abuse, typically isn’t a one-off behavior, but part of a trend that escalates over time, so it’s important to look for the patterns, Hood says. “I think about it like falling down a rabbit hole,” Hood says. “It starts out great — you’re adored. The next step is isolation. They basically pull you away from your support network and tether you to them. Then, they start the emotional abuse — manipu- lating you, being controlling, sabotage, calling you names, We Sell New & Used Guns at Competitive Pricing Hunters, check out our selection of firearms! Trades are welcome. Fall is here! Stop in for Hot Drinks, Soup, Sampler Plates Wednesday is No Weigh Tues-Thurs 12-7:30 Orange Polka Dot Cup $5 Fri & Sat 12-8 Gluten Free Options! Sun 1-7 aware. The second is to start doing some protection,” says Shannon Thomas, author of “Exposing Financial Abuse.” At this stage, it’s important to not tell your abuser you’re going to leave. Instead, get educated. Find out where your joint accounts are and how to get access to them. Bank staff can be help- ful, Thomas says. It’s diffi cult, but important, to be honest about what you suspect is going on. WE HAVE MOVED trader ray’s SHOOT BETTER, SAVE MONEY! 1719 Main, Baker City 541-239-5198 calling you crazy.” If you need help, fi rst, assess your risk level. If you fear for your safety call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or TTY 800-787-3224 or contact a local hotline immediately. They can connect you with resources and help you get out of the relationship safely. If you’re not concerned for your safety, start building an exit plan. “The fi rst step is to be Hours: Mon-Sat 11-5:30 2800 Broadway, Baker City 541-523-9397 • 541-519-7842 COME SEE US AT OUR NEW STORE! 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