BUSINESS & AG LIFE
WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2019
THE OBSERVER & BAKER CITY HERALD — 3B
Millennial Money: Don’t ignore the signs of financial abuse
By Kelsey Sheehy
NerdWallet
Nearly 70% of millennial
women have experienced
fi nancial abuse by a romantic
partner — let that sink in for
a second.
That means, for every 10
women you know in that age
group, odds are that seven of
them have had a partner use
money to control or manipu-
late them, according to a 2017
survey of 2,000 people ages
18-35 by CentSai, a fi nancial
wellness website.
Sadly, it’s not surprising
given that 1 in 4 women will
experience intimate partner
violence in their lifetime —
often for the fi rst time before
they are 25 years old, accord-
ing to the Centers for Disease
Control and Prevention. And
fi nancial abuse is present
in nearly all domestic abuse
cases.
But fi nancial abuse can
and does occur absent of
any physical violence. And
it isn’t strictly a millennial
problem, nor is it something
that happens exclusively to
women. Almost 50% of men
in the survey by CentSai said
they experienced some form of
fi nancial abuse.
Financial abuse can run
the gamut from subtle to
egregious.
It might look like a partner
who can’t keep a job or pay
their share of the bills. Or
one who makes you feel
guilty for spending your own
money. But it could also be a
partner who offers to handle
the household fi nances, then
gradually restricts your access
to those accounts.
Some other common forms
of fi nancial abuse:
• They open credit cards
in your name without your
knowledge.
• They default on accounts
in your name, ruining your
credit.
• They make you take out
loans or borrow from your
family, but don’t pay it back.
• They hide money from
you.
• They refuse to let you
work or try to sabotage your
career.
If you feel like you’re being
taken advantage of fi nancially,
bring it up with your partner.
How they react will tell you
a lot.
Do they get angry? Do they
shift the blame to you? Do
they make you feel guilty for
questioning them? Or do they
apologize and take mean-
ingful steps to remedy the
situation?
“A good sign is if you feel
like you can have that con-
versation and your partner
is receptive to it,” says Katie
Hood, CEO of the One Love
Foundation , a nonprofi t that
teaches young people how to
identify and avoid abusive
relationships.
But if you’re avoiding these
types of conversations out
of fear for how your partner
could react, that might be a
warning sign.
“When someone is in an
abusive relationship, they basi-
cally start managing their life
around another person’s anger
and volatility,” Hood says.
Financial abuse, like most
forms of abuse, typically isn’t a
one-off behavior, but part of a
trend that escalates over time,
so it’s important to look for the
patterns, Hood says.
“I think about it like falling
down a rabbit hole,” Hood
says. “It starts out great —
you’re adored. The next step is
isolation. They basically pull
you away from your support
network and tether you to
them. Then, they start the
emotional abuse — manipu-
lating you, being controlling,
sabotage, calling you names,
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aware. The second is to start
doing some protection,” says
Shannon Thomas, author of
“Exposing Financial Abuse.”
At this stage, it’s important
to not tell your abuser you’re
going to leave.
Instead, get educated. Find
out where your joint accounts
are and how to get access to
them. Bank staff can be help-
ful, Thomas says. It’s diffi cult,
but important, to be honest
about what you suspect is
going on.
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calling you crazy.”
If you need help, fi rst,
assess your risk level. If you
fear for your safety call the
National Domestic Violence
Hotline at 800-799-7233 or
TTY 800-787-3224 or contact
a local hotline immediately.
They can connect you with
resources and help you get out
of the relationship safely.
If you’re not concerned for
your safety, start building an
exit plan.
“The fi rst step is to be
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