La Grande evening observer., April 20, 1914, Image 4

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PAGE FOUR
LA GRANDE EVENING OBSERVER
MONDAY, APRIL 20, 1914.
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THE: OBSERVER
BRUCE DENNIS, Editor and Owner.
Entered in the Post Office at La
- Grande, Oregon at aecond elas
. numer. . . -v v
Advertising rates on application. All I
copy for display advertising must
' reach the office the day b afore the
ad appears. )'t
i Address all communications to
THE OBSERVER, 1710 Sixth Street,
(: SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
Dally, single copy ,.6e
Daily, per wek lSe
Daily, per awnth ... . . . .'. ....... ,65c
Daily, six months in advance. ...I&SO
Daily, per year in itfHfp.. .... .$7.00
Oaily, by mall per year, in ti-,.
ranee ,,,,ft.Q0
Weekly Ovaerver, per year; ia
advance
.
. ...fLStj
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The women will of course 'be glad
to paint their aces to match their
new hair and gowns, but soma care
less people iwilj appear in public
tmJj.0U dyem their hands to coy.
respondi -
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Oriental skirts are now being shown .
. . ... , ,
in Pans, and jt remains to be seen J
whether Father will put them on ,
mornings by mistake, . 1 I
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Hoboes hiking iti California broke,
into a balk house at San Diego, It is
strange what risks some people will
rum ..v?;-iftS
The world's greatest cannon is to
be located aV entrance of the Pa
nama Canal, not excepting even Un
cle Joe.
, STAR TO ENTERTAIN.
Baker and Elgin Initiatory Teams Will
Put on Degree Work.
Eastern Star members are busy tq
day making preparations to enter
tain a large number of their mem
bers from Baker and Elgin here Wed
nesday. ; The Baker chapter will come
in fall strength and put oh- the ritual
istic work, while Elgin's chapter will
confine its work to the floral degree.
The local 'chapter has the largest
class to initiate that has ever been
put through at one time in the his
tory of Eastern Oregon and with the
big banquet which is now in prepara
tion every member of the Star is busy
today.
TALK ON "CHURCH BABIES."
Evangelist Cairns Hits the People
Who Join the Church And
Don't Progress.
Yesterday was a great day for the
Baptist congregation. All the ser
vices were well attended and at the
evening services the church auditor
ium was crowded to the doors. At
the morning service Rev. Cairns, the
evangelist, created considerable laugh
ter as he described "Church Babies,"
those people who join the church but
never grow up." He said, "There is
nothing that causes a pastor more
trouble than these grown people who
join the church but whose skin is as
thin as a baby's. They are constant
ly having their feelings hurt The
pastor must rock and rock the cradle
to keep them from howling. They
need a first class spanking. A real
Christian will have a skin like an al
ligator's hide and nothing will hurt
their feelings."
At the afternoon service a goodly
crowd of men assembled to hear Mr.
Cairns talk to men only on the theme,
"Four Forths a Man."
At the evening service he pled with
men and women to break with sin
and turn to God. At the close of the
service several adults took the hand
of the evangelist as an evidence ot
their determination to live for Christ.
To-night Mr. Cairns will speak on
the subject, "La Grande Hypocrites."
On Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdny
and Friday afternoons at 2:30 o'clock
Mr. Cairns will doliver Bible lectures
at the church. All are cordially in
vitcd. ' " i .
FOR SALE Computing scale, cheap
for cash, a 1 condition. Address B,
care of Observes-. l-20-2tp.
FOR SALE Piano, phone B. 1482. v
'i " " "V"''' 4-20-7t
I The-
Scrap Book
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i . ... i .,, -, ;'.i.;.-. . ,, .,
, ,. Net So Slow Aft.r All.
At one time a German university de
veloped the mania fur conferring hon
orary degrees, and a Scottish doctor
named MacTavisb. who bud obtained
bis degree by dillgfut Jubprv became
disgusted. He sent a polite letter to
toe faculty, aBktng them to bestow a
degree upon bis semint The doctor
was a groat man. mid ibe jocose na
ture of the request was not suspected,
so the parchmeut was accordingly sent
him.
After acknowledging Its receipt, the
physician added thut, since tbey. were
so klnd;as to give bis servanda de
gree, It would add to bis obligation If
tbey would confer one upon bis favor
ite borse. . But th faculty, the Joke
I once fairly scented, rose to the oeca
mon.
nrp nhllireH " hnr urmtn "r.
I ' -
I spectfully to decline granting so dis-
jJlnOTlahed h fnror. Wo have search-
lELij; - ,i ho T "no In
but the 0hly-vT-,- t-vu
the fact that soihe yoitK ngo R degree
was conferred upon mi ass named Mac
Tavlabr-Llpplnectt's,
' Service.
The sweetest lives lire those to duty wed,
U'hona tlseda. both meat and small.
Arc close knit strnids of an unhrn,B
thread, i .
Where' IfiVe ennobles all.
The worl1 Iliay ,nUnd no trwmi ffni n.
th, l,,, iWsMnW record tu.
Thy love shall chant Its own beatitudes,
After Its own life working. A child's kiss
Bet on ty singing Hps shall make tnee
rlniK
A' sick man helped by thee ihall make j
Thou shall be seiVed i thyself by every
enm, -- V'-t
Of service Which t'lou renderest
i3lizabcth Barmt BrowHIhg.
.
Befo'revUie bmwit okihe presen
strict bajoklng WW in one of ouf new
er states Trtartlnp; a bnnkJ'was a'com
purntlvily simple propoitftlonr'The aur
pfiptogly small amount of capital need
ed is well Illustrated by tbe story a
prosperous country town banker told
on himself when naked how he happen
ed to enter tbe bunking business:
"Well," be sold. "I didn't have mnch
else tl do. so 1 rented ankfempty store
building and .'painted ''bank" .on., tbe
window. ; Tbe tlrst. day I was open for
business a mnn came In and deposited
f 100 with me. the second day nnother
man dropped in -and -deposited - $280,
and so... by George, along about the
third .day 1 got -ooa&denea enough in J
the bank to put in (100 myself H-By-erybody's.
Between Two Baths. '
A Missouri official . returned in rery
moderate circumstances to bis home
town after a long career m office. His
fellow townsmen thought to buy a
hoiiBO and present it to blm.
The MIsHOitrl statesman tvbs noted
for his ability to keep on the fence. He
never took a positive stand , on any
thing, but leaned oue way and then an
other and compromised by remaining
in the tight wire
The committee wont to look at a
lioiiHe. It was a good house, with plen
ty of rooms and two bathrooms. All
were pleased except one man. who said
not hint;
"llmv about It. Bill'.'" the other com
iiilttcctnen asked "Do you think this
house is all rh-'lu?"
"Nope." replied Hill. "It's Insain
tary."
"Insanitary? Why. man. you're crazy.'
It lias good plumbing and two luttli
rooms."
That's Jest it." said Rill. "Them
two bathrooms Is what I don't like
He'd never net to take a bath with tw
bathrooms in the house, because In
couldn't decide to use one without tie
In' afraid he'd hurt the feeliu's of the
other."-Saturday Evening Post
His Glaring Escape,
in some private theatricals In a New
York mansion recently a fugitive from
Justice whs supposed to escape from
his pursuers by concealing himself un
dor a table. The table wns small, and
tbe terrinod ' fugitive was somewhat
loligtny.
The comma ndor of the pursuing par
ty rushed on the stage and fell ovei
the legs of the man tie was searchini!
for. Picking himself up and ludicrous
ly rubbing his shins', he convulsed the
nndlenco by exclaiming In true dru
tniitlc stylo:
"Ha. ha! The dastardly villain has
flutlod us ngtiln!"' ;
Making the Dumb Speak.
A man had lost all power of speech
for ovor s year, writes Syduey Holland
in the London Express. His wife
brought blm to the London hospital to
see one of out physicians, who quickly
realized that ttere wis nothing what
ever the matter with blm and tbat be
was merely suffering from the reverse
of faith healing-tbat 1b. "imaginary
llsoase suffering."
In tb.e.putient'5 Ja.rtr he told a
itudehf to ferctr fhe" largest forceps be
could find and added. "It may hurt
blm. but I can remove the growth."
"Now. rbout out if I butt yon." said
tbe physician as be plunged tbe for
:eps down tbe man's throat, "Heav
ens!" the pntient shouted.' "That's
right." the physician said, "I have
sot It awny," ; . ' , ' .,
The man went away not only speak
ing, but sweating, and it is said, bnt
II will not vouch for the rest of tbe
tory, that his wife came back a week
Inter and begged us to do something to
the man. who talked ho Inarssnntly to
make up for lost time tbat they were
ill driren wild . "
Oil UPON THE WATERS. I
, t
It Action In Calming the Billow of a
- 6tormy Sea,
Literally as well as figuratively, tit
pour oil u.moo the; troubled waters ia
to calm inem to a degree. This baa
been known -from' time Immemorial,
although Its Hcleiittttc explanation Is
not any too familiar even at the pres
ent day. The secret of the phenome
non lies In the fact that oil Is extreme
ly viscous-, 'hat Is to say, It is of a
ropy consistency, sticky nud adhesive,
and can be spread out Into a very thin
but comparatively strung sheet I:
'"!" Mug n bearing, for Instance.
IHluw- - p..., hotween the
it forms n .tPtwow.
metiils TtliS'so iioltkils Ihm from the
wear of direct cohfilct with each other.
Oil Is lighter than water and when
poured upon ft rotoiiitiS tiijoti.tbe
face. Auq6 'Surface tehSWU 'rf water !
is stcoligec tbaU that of oil, the oil Is
Immediately drawn out oTer tbe wa
ter t'u a rery thin' body, forming a sort i
j ui i. , i . . !
ujuukci, which ireaeou9 a consiuer-
able rcslstiint-e to tbe motions of tbe
element beneath. The water waves
still roll almost' as high us before, but
tbey are unable to break Into rlppleq,
So tbat the sbrmy sea, yt& tl co.
Ered, prcMChts e Surtufe' of huge nndu.
latlonai bVit Smooth ones, . :
Rllll are able to ride such waves
with comparative ease. It ia the waves
that break tbat present the real dan
ger to tbe mariner. Boston Herald. :.
- " OUTER SPACE. j
8howlng. How Far'.lt la From Beinfc
Empty of Matter.
"When we speak of outer space, the
space between star and atar, as being
empty of matter, it. is rather Interest
ing to see exactly what we mean," sayp
a writer. "We know from observations
on the planets that light, in Its passage
across apace to our earth, suffers hard
ly any absorption, and from this fact
we can deduce conclusions respecting
the density of such matter us'e&fstsia
outer spacer r-.-
' "If tb degree -of raTeractldn'tirTjntein
space is, for example. In the neighbor
hood of the one hundred mlllloutb part
of an atmosphere, then the appearance
of Jupiter, for Instance, would be' as
If our atmosphere bud twice its pres
ent opacity. So that such matter as
exists must be In a much more rarefied
state. . But, after all. these tirms are
only comparative.
. "Suppose our atmosphere were al
lowed to expand' up to the limits of
the visible universe as far as 'the
Milky way. Then Its rarefaction would
be such tbat It would be quite im
possible, by any optical means, to de
tect the presence of any matter. Nev
ertheless, there would be about 5.000
molecules per cubic centimeter through
out space."
. Treeless Falkland Islands.
There are uo trees In the Falkland
Islands, consequently the country pre
sents a bleak appearance. In tht
autumn the long grass. turnlnu'vsome
what grayish. Imparts a disagreeable,
and monotonous aspect to the hillside
On the return of spring the ranchers
used to have a glorious time of It in
literally setting the camp on fire. This
was done by simply striking a match
on the saddle pommel and casting. It
into the midst of the withered grass.
No coaxing was needed, as the mate
rial was withered and dry as tinder
Presently the tnountalu side would be
fringed with one long line of rugiug
flames and curling smoke. Thus was
the pasture renewed. Although no
trees grow in these islands, there i
ample evidence of the land having once
been thickly wooded. Chambers' Jour
nal. Old Dances In Old Times. ,
in Edwnrd Scott's "Daneiug !n All
Ages" are some curious details about
the duuees of old England.
"Joan Sntidcraon" was a "Jolly
dnnce" In Mr. Scott's definition, for be
fore it was ended each lady bad kissed
all the gentlemen twice, and each man
had been equally enterprising. Mary
Stuart danced the "Volta." though
"not so high and so dlsposedly" a
Elizabeth. In King tbaries- time peo
ple danced "Trenchmore," the "Cush
ion Dnnce." "Omnium Gatherum" and
"Holte cum Tolte." V
"All lu a (innlen Green." "Gathering
of Peascods.'" "Lumps of Pudding."
"Under and Over." "The Bath." "Tbe
Slaughter House" and "Have at Tby
Coat. Old Womnn." are dances .not
quite so old -t : -. '
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Guaranteed A9 Wooj Fabrics.
' Brop in .today and look over the npatterns and styles for. Spring, and
Sumnfer Then try on a few of the garments and see how perfectly they fit. i
You will be convinced that these Fidelity $15.00 Suits cannot 'be duplicated
elsewhere for less than $5.00 more in price. "r h . ' ' "Ivp, , .
ii-,-; -.r"-.- . ; Three Distinct Models to Select From,. "jpv '
Stout Suits Slim Suitsrr-R.etilar Suits
' - I -'-.-'. . . ' :; j-. ; ''..,:.'.., ; -.
Our Boy's Dept. ,
)ffers the most com
plete line of Boy's ap
parel in Eastern Ore
Compound Division,
A Berlin chauffeur nuuied 1'iul Ku
gi?linann found f ii..VK) In notes aud gold
In bis tnslcab. No one came forward
to claim tbe money, and the chauffeur,
setting aside temptation, reported the
nlatter to the police.
.; This huge sum remained, according
to. German Jaw, in the. police's k'eeplug
for & year, after whlcii the finder could
claim the fruits of his goiid fortune.
But when I'ntil Kugelmnnn presentetl
bis claim he was told that various oth
er claims would have to be settled first.
SU'e the uuitiey had been found hi
Berlin, the Berlin municipality was to
receive t..VK. Because Ahu absent
minded fare hulled the rhatifTeur In the
suburb, of Wllmersdnrf. the Wllmetn
dorf municipality claimed another
fl.tiOO. The municipality of Chnrlot
tenburg, not to hp outdone, demanded
a similar sum. as Kugelmnnn lived
within Its limits.
And while the disgusted chauffeur
was reckotilns up the baln'ncp his em
ployer came forward and asserted that
the whole fii.onn belonged to him. be
cause the automobile In which It had
been found was his property. London
.Answers. '
. True Economy.
A certain old housewife believed In
"having clothes appropriate to occa
sions." and lie boasted that she could
"get more wear out of a dress" than
i'!iy one else. When n garment wns
past its first, second and third stages
of usefulness for public weur it was
relegated to certain seasons of domes
tic stress, from which It passed even
tually to the ragbag. One gown, long
dear to her heart bad reached this last
stage, and she acknowledged It one
day to the village seamstress.
"Don't seem nn If I'd hud hnlf tbe
good 1 expected to out of It," she snld
wistfully. " 'Tisn't but eight years
since J bud It made up. Two years
I- wore It Sundays, the next two sew
ing circle afternoons, next two when I
went errands to the village, and these
last two round the bouse common.
But tiow"-nnd she regarded the bun
dle soiwvfully before stnlllug It into
the yawning bag-""ow 'tisn't even fit
to hang out wnstiftig In on Mondays!"
Exchange.
Band Dance Tomorrow Night. ;
All is in readiness for the band
men's dance which is scheduled for
tomorrow night. Professor David
Haines has had several practices for
this affair and all indications point
to a large attendance. In fact every
body is going to make one of La
Grande summer diversions, namely a
well trained band, possibteV'The mu
sic is to be of the Very best and the
flooVrffctt:K',t-' --1-'"" 'A -'A
:If your taste is ;"gdod-and
your means are limited-Come
in We can-get together on ,
Fidelity $15 Clothes
: . . ' . "Without an .eqn ajthe price."
Guaranteed All Wddi Fabrics, ' High
Grade Linings and Trimmings, Taibfe'duil
der Sanitary Conditions, Guaranteed to
Give Perect Satisfaction.
Wilson and Pirtchot Speak Again.
South Bethlehem, Pa., April 20.
Secretary ' of Labor Wilson and Gif
forqV Pjnchot, Progressive, were
scheduled as the feature of tonight's
Chautauqua, meeting. Secretary ..Wil
son will defend the : Administration
legislative' program, and Pinchott will
explain and defend the principles of
the Progressive party. .. ' , , .
Missouri Drainage ' Delegates. Leave.
St.' Louis, April '20. Missouri's
delegation to the fourth annual Drain
age Congress at Savannah, Ga., April
22 to 25, will leave St Louis late to
day. With 2,439,600 acres ' of rich
swamp land in the state, the dele
gation is strong for drainage and re
clamation. William Knight Dead.
Death yesterday summoned William
Knight, for some time an employe of
the Palmer mill, and who with his
family lived near the mill. The
funeral was held this afternoon
from the Henry & Carr chapel.
La Grande National , Bank
Organized
DESIGNATED DEPOSITORY OF UNITED STATES GOVERN
MENT. UNITED STATES POSTAL SAVINGS DEPOSITORY, '
Capital $100,060.00 ,
Surplus .$140,000,00 '
Total Resources ' $1,000,000.00 . , t ' i'
For twenty years, in all kinds of financial -weather, "WTi'a've''
successfully catered to the monetary wants of the people of La'
Grande and the Grand Romde Valley. ' ; ;
We respectfully solicit your business. " : , .'
La Grande National Bank
i ii
yole Agents for-.j
; , ;.; Gordon
$3.00
' . Hats. -
LECTURE SERIES OPENED.
First Number' - to Non-Catholics
Heard Last Evening.
Father Brady opened the course of'
lectures for non-Catholics at the Cath
olic' church' last night and in spite
of ' threatening " weather a large as
semblage of non-Catholics listened to
a masterly discourse on the subject"'
of "The Deathless Church of Christ."
Tonight Father Brady wi'll speak"
on "The Church of Christ, the Citadel i
of Spiritual Power." ' He invited all '
persons to ask whatever questions
they chose pertaining to the Catholic i
religion. " '-;.' '; ' 'yr' l
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S ?$ SSSS.SJ.3SS J4$ -S
ADDITIONAL PERSONALS A
Miss Mabel Wallace; of Lethridge
Alberta, Canada, is visiting at the
home of 'E. J. Bartmess. , . .
Mrs. Jim Mills sister to W.,D. Gran
dy, arrived this .morning , from her .
home near Montreal, Canada, to visit
for some time. Her father, has not
been well for some time and this is
the occasion for her coming. ,
in 1887.
La Grande, Oregon - r-.'-:.-
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