The Oregon mist., December 28, 1906, Image 4

...ud by
Hood's Sarsapan..
In usual liquid form or In chocolated
tablets known aaSaVMtabt. 100 doses $1.
Good Halt.
Aunt TUlle, cook in n Ueorifls liottao
hold, tuok tionia ft dish of macaroni
from tho "whl to folks'" table fur her
own .family, and after assuiinu them
that It was apod, Induced tier vulldreu
to out It
The next morning she discovered two
Of thorn, out In the yard turning over
toiios nnd boards mid scratching vig
orously lu the earth.
"Hyatt, youl" she callwL "What
you-all doln' out diihf"
"We a-hmitlii'." on mo the glad re
sponse, "fob mo' of doin macaroni
worms."
Yet 1U MmiI Wall.
William Henry Harrison had Jut.
iron the battle of Tippecanoe.
"I fait that It was up to rap," h
plained, "to live the future novelists of
Indiana a aort of historical background."
For, with the simple nilndedneas of
great men. It did not omir to hUu that
Indiana's comini aulhora would choose to
locate the scettaa of their beat selling
storle In Palcstiu, Mexico, lirsnstark,
Franc and other forclan countries.
Tho Evils of Constipation
are many; In fact almost every serious li
nes has it. origin In constipation mid some
medicine". Instead of proven ina; ronstlpa
turn, add toil. This ih true of most cu' hurt
le, winch, when tint used liavea Iwiiltieuil
atfect, bu te dose lu) to be continually
Increased and before lon the remedy nw
to have the si litet cilec Tlivie is on.'
prcpar .tiou, however, that can be relied
upon to producetho same r suits with the
mine de, even after tiltv years' daily use,
and this is Hr ndrvtli'a I'ills, which hat a
record of over too vears as thestamlcrd iciii
edy for constipation and all trouble arising
from an Inipu e slut of the Mood,
lirnndretli'a IMIo are the mime II" laxa
live tonic piil your grandparent used mi l
can be found In eery eery drug and mcdi.
cina store, either plum or sugar-coated.
Tha Last Rna.
There was a vacancy In tho ministry
of a West Highland pariah, for which
three candidate preached lu the church
ou throe aucoesslve Suudays. Tba tlrst
was diminutive In stature, the second
smaller still, aud the third the smallest
of alt.
A lauy in me cviigrvsHiiou iiat
ITIiU IlltTIltm I Ok IUT I.UUHU VW,.!..-
tee, and. demanded to know w hy such
mail candidates had boon selected.
The explanation, as a writer In the
bunion Telegraph gives It. was this:
Weel, mum, ye see the ateepends
baa become very small, and they're no
bringing oot such big ministers as they
ased to do."
Te Braak la Naw Ska
Always ahaSa In Allm'a r.t . a powder.
It eurca hot, awiailng, ai-litug, a"ll.i iw'
Ciir-. corn, liigmwlng null and leuil.Oi..
all dniggl.ta ami ihoe .re. a.-. I..u't seee
soy aubatiiut. Sample mallet KKkK. Ad-lru.
Alba a. Oluutad, U Hoy, X. Y.
Orowlh at a Nevada CHr.
Leas than two years ago a pnatpeotor
tost bis way lu the desert uour the Cali
fornia lino. In Nye County, Nevada,
and died of thirst On the sput whore
that man's body was found Is now the
town of Hullfrog. A water works plant
coating; $."0J supplies an abundance
of water. There are hotels with baths
In many rooms and residences equip
ped with all the modern paraphernalia
that make for comfort Klectrlc lights
Illumine the streets where only tho
stura of heaven looked down on tho
death of the lonely minor and within
the radius of a very few miles there
re now about 15,000 people.
Tie tCvcrlaatlna; Coaaseltllow.
The eminent shipbuilder o explain
ing tb plans and specification (or the
fib vessel.
"In addition to being tha lariat and
sooat formidable battleship sflont," ho
aid, "and ths superior of all other, both
from an offensive and defensive point of
View, having the moat powerful armament
and being practically luvulner.iblo, it will
be the fastest, beyond all comparison. It
will be able to steam twenty-tight miles
an bour."
"But If it Is to be so much belter than
any other," asked one of tho niembera of
the committee, "what la the use. of devot
ing so much attention to mere speed?"
"Why er it might be necessary
some day. You can't tell wh;n onn of the
other great powers may build a blgjfur
and heavier battleahln."
CONTAGIOUS
NO LIMIT TO ITS
Contagious Wood Poison lias broti(1it morcBuflering, misery and hutnila
Hon into the world than nil other diseases comWncil ; tlicrt in hnrdly any
limit to its powers for evil. It is the blackest and vilest of nil disorders,
wrecking the livesof these unfortunate enough to contrac t it nnd often bcliif?
transmitted to innocent offspring, a UiBliting lejrncy of suflcrintr nnd Blmtiie.
So Lijthly contaKious is the trouble that innocent persons may contract it
by using the same table ware, toilet articles or clothing of one in whose
blood the treacherous virus lias taken root. Not only is it a powerful poison
but a very deceptive one. Only those who have learned by bitter experience
know by the lfttle sore or ulcer, which usually jiinkca its appearance first, of
the Buffering which is to follow. It comes in the form of ulcerated mouth
and throat, unsightly copper colored spots, swollen glands in the groin,
falling hair, offensive sores and ulcers on the body, nnd In pevcre cases the
finger nails drop off, the bones become diseased, the nervous system is shat
tered and the sufferer becomes an object of pity to his fellow man. ICspccl
Blly is the treacherous nature of Contagious Wood 1'oinon, shown when the
infected person endeavors to combat the poison with mercury nnd potash.
These minerals will drive away all outward symptoms of tho troubles for
a while, and the victim is deceived into the belief that lie is cured. When,
howcver.the treatment is leftoff he finds that the poison lias onlybeen driven
deeper into the blood and the disease reappears, and usually in worse form
because these strong minerals have not only failed to remove the virus from
the blood but have weakened the entire system because of their destructive
action. S. S. S. is she only real and certain cure for Contagious Wood Poi
son. It is madeof a combination of healing blood-purifying roots, herbs
and barks, the best ia Nature's great laboratory of forest and field. We
offer a reward of $ i.ooo for proof that S. S. S. contains a particle of mineral
in any form. 8. S, S. kocs down to the
PURELY VEGETABLE
Write for our special book on Contagious Wood Poison, which fully ex
plains the different stages of the trouble, and outlines a complete home treat
' ment tor all sufferersof this trouble. No charge is made for this book, and
if you wish special medical advice about case or any of its symptoms, out
physicians Will be glud to furnish that, too, without hargc,
WE SWiFT SPECIFIC CO.. ATLANTA. CA
Hard
.onvoy to
a iidcituat
h powor for
oo ctinoeii.
jlps, four r
prntiM tod frina-
doai'ti tirpedo
dostroyors, be
,u nuVUliiry craft,
. Wuvkly. It must hcru
sulhio to say that the twelve buttle
ships iilouu whloh woro miiHHcd off Oys
ter Hay repttwiitod a comblntHl dis
placement of nearly 18-1,0(10 ttuies the
iirmorvd orulaers, nlinoat BO.OOO tons;
tho monitors and protocted cruisers,
nioro thun 8i!,0U0 tons, and the while
nghtlng llwt, Inoludlng tho torpedo
boats mid subuinrluoa, but excluding
liuxlllnrtoa, nil aggregate Jlsplneumoul
of upward of iil l.OOO.
Ileliitlvoly poworlosa and Insignificant
na the toriwdo Iwuts may have looked,
the truth Is that If one of thorn, the
Wilkes, wuild got near enough to such
Hunting firt us the battle ahlp West
Virginia ami spit torpedo out of her
tube In tho right direction, HUHtCMWO
would go up lu tho nlr mid Hl0 men
would be food for (bdios. We mny add.
In order to refute sivno groundleaa ut
cuaiitloua, that the coat of tho naval r
view, lniKsliig na tho pageant looked,
was negligible. The cost was comput
ed by Hear Admiral Kvana at fUtsJ all
told ; for, as ho pointed out, s., long na
a ahlp la In commission, It la Just as
cheap for her to tie lit anchor off Oystur
Hay as to be steaming across tho ocean.
Horror of Needless Kola.
It Is tho mvdleasiicsa of moat noises
that renders them Insufferable, You
sloop very well through tho ronr of
wintry etorut. but If some one hna for
gotten to fasten a blind, and It begins
to bang, then you are lost; you might
as well got up mid locate that Mind
and fasten It first aa lust The mani
fold noise of your steamer' pluugv
through the night, with the perpetual
wnsii of tho sen, unite, lu a lullaby to
which the worst coiiscionce aluka Into
reHae; but A anorer breaking from
the next stateroom recalls tho memory
of all one's sins. Tho rush ami leap
and incessant but varied grind and
clang of tho sleeping cur bvome sooth
ing tit lust, but a radiator, beginning
to I'.xi nnd click after tho atoniu hna
lieon turned off. sems to lenve the
would he alwpor no resource but sui
cide; If you could got at tho ewond
engineer, and lenve him .weltering In
his gore, you could anateh a few cat
naps before morning; but you cannot
get nt tho second engineer after mid
night In moat hotels. Continuous
noises and necessary noises are thing
you can adjust souses or your spirit
to; but tho noise without a reason,
without an apparent right, like the
knnwlug of a rat In the wainscot. Is
what drives so many to jHirdltlon. W.
t. Uowella. In Muriier'a
"Tom" llvrd'a Collar.
Anion" the prominent men of Now
was none, perhaps, who
collar than Tom Hoed,
i 'n the summer of 11)01
. irtsmouth, and. having
to V a train, ho decided to
make i. tu tollot. changing hi
collnr, el. hied himself to the
nearest babt.. r'e and Is'gan a gen
ernl survey of t-jlur display lu the
store.
"Waited on, sir?" queried one of the
clerks.
"Not yet" rosjionded Heed, and thou
added, " would like a collar,'
"What slxe?" plcd the clerk.
"Slaj 20," answered IteciL
"We don't keep collars so large, but
I think you may be accommodated
three stores above."
Heed wont and found the third store
above. It was a harness shop.
Disastrous Pallor.
The stocky, red haired niati with the
(Inlwny whiskera had been run In on a
charii of too much conviviality and bois
terous conduct.
"Hprisoncr," said folios Justice
Warhenbelnier, "vot Is your name?"
".Me name, y'r nnier," answered tb
prisoner, "is Gottlieb Iouderschlagel.
"lilt's a He!" esclaltned hla honor. "I
glf you slxsty dnya in do vorkhouse."
Cbuago Tribune.
Kunnd llloa No.
fliett The Idea of Klikker claiming to
he a hard working iiinn la the rlcliesl
thing I've heard of lately.
Kontnann Well, lie ia, by Oeorga!
He's tli bardeat uiau I sv.ir tried to
work.
BLOOD POISON
POWERS FOR EVIL
very bottom of the trouble and by cleansing
the blood of every particle of the virus and
adding rich, healthful qualities to this vital
fluid, forever cures this powerful disorder.
So thoroughly does S. S. 8. cleanse the
circulation that no signs of the disease are
ever seen airain. and offspring is protected.
IN THE NATIONAL HALLS OF CONGRESS
Thursday, Deo. SO.
WiiahlmtUm, !. 20. Hunalor Vnt-
nkor occupied tho sttuiitlnit of tho sen
ultt In lis lust sesHion before the holiday
recess ttsluy ill mi extended crit icism
of the basis of the pteaiduiit's nctlon
In diHChnriilmi tho neitro trout tu tno
Twuuty-llfth liifuntry on account of tho
llrowtiHVlllo mid. , no was repuwi
lirlelly by lysine, whilo Bexitt sustained
the doiiinnd of tho Ohio senator fur a
full InvoaliKiitlon of the matter by the
aeiiato military rominitUm. A rtwolu
tlon declaring lor such an Invest l(ttt
tloti is before the somite for act Ion nt
lla next nmollng.
Wuahliiulon. law. 20. After bolnij
1 ti scMMiou for tliroo-iuirtors of an hour
tixhiy, the limine adjourned until Janu
ary 8, H'07. limply desks urimtnl the
Hvcnkor when the house convened, mid
tho desire to tel uway for tiiu imiuiuys
wits superior to tint Incllnulloti for bind
noMM, Moliiloll. of Wyoming sucC4HsKh1 III
ltsalti)t the bill oxtetidinii to May 1ft,
1H07. the time In which entry men mil y
tntiku ft Dial sottlemunt on the Shoshone
Indian reservation. Then Ihiyno, of
Now York, called p his resolution ro
hit lux to the distribution of the presi
dent's annual iiicmnuko to the several
coinniltteea in aociirdiinco with a cus
tom that lm existed since the founda
tion of tho K"veriiiiient.
The house uisxod the rcMoliition nnd
adjourned at 12:-I5 p. in. A hundred
ini'tiiliom wait ml to extend tlio smsoti s
k-rccUiiti to SHiikoi t'aiiliiui.
Wednsiday, Dec. 10.
WaahliiKUitl, IHV. 111. President
It.'velt's IiiinHUcn ileiillnK with his
action In iIImiiiIhsIiik from the army the
negw tfisijia of the three coiitimnli ol
tho Twenly-llllh Infantry furnished the
otto topic of liiterctd In the seuale'a ses
sion bslav. A lively ilelisto followed
tho readmit of tho tiiessatte aa to what
hIihiiI.I Is) done with It.
r'omker wantisl It sent to the mili
tary committee w ith Inst ruction, to
make further Invent lul toil, should the
ciimtiiittoo deem It iiwemoiry . lie Maid
that In reality much tliul apwarmi to
k testimony wait tint testimony, as
much of It was not under onlh. On
objection from Clay, the senate k1-
(Mined action until tomorrow.
The fwnaioii calendar was cWunxl by
the pio-satte of nioro that! 200 private
H'llHioll hills.
At the suxtl'ii of lciialor 1asIo,
l'rildelit It.sstevell's Panatim imiwane
will he printe.1 for the sctiaUi In "imr
inal" aH'llitiK. Kitlrlte secured the
adoption of an order for 20,l)ti0 copies.
WaahinKtoii, 111. In the house
today Ijui-y, of Iowa, tsk a pronounc
ed (swiitiou in npswittoii lotheailjoiirn
meiit of mnumwi for the I'lirlsttiuut hol
idays, declariiiK tluit "it Is idiotic for
the Mouse to adjourn and then jam all
lctflslutli.il through under whip and
sour dtirinit the closinit ibiys.
Chirk, of Missouri, de-ctiirrd that the
slntemetit inn.le by leey alsiiit the
idlis-y of adjoiirnlttK tor the holidays
aits the iiiiatt seiisihlw llnnit lio had auld
for the post 12 yi-tirs.
After coliKl.lemhle diw'llselotl on a
iMhw( lucrcnao o clerks an laun
of a quorum was revealot ami the house
ailjournol
Tuesday, December 18.
Washington, 18. The seimte
Ushiy devoltsl lutirly four hours to
ciiimiilenillou of iitiobjct4-l bills on its
inlcn.lnr. Tho result was tlio uweie
o a miiiils r of iiutisiiren of minor iin
portiiiix. AuiotiK tluatt) uhsI was one
iinthorUliiK a tfoveriiiiienl ham of 111',
000,001) o the JiiiiuU'towtl TeM-iila-n-n
lu I Kxsiitiou coiiiuiv, and another
imvIiiiik for nn InvitttlKiitlon of the
itidiiHlrinl, ws'lnl, iiioral, ediinitionnl
and phyisnil condition of women nnd
child iworkris In I he I'liited HtuUn by
the ileairtmeiit if ('otntiicreo and 1-n-Imr.
The uruetit didlcieticy aipropriu
lioti bill was alao owed,
Wuahliitiinti, lhs, 18, Hurinit the
siwiioti of the Iiouim) to. lay the Indian
appmpriiittiott bill wiot imel pnwti
dilly tut It mtixi from (he coiiiuiltleo on
appropriations. Tho curly tnonilnit
aeaaion was devotl to the cotisidern
tiou of District of Coluiiiliia lmsiin.
Tim exislim of ineiiils-rs bus nlrcndy
iNiiiiiiii'iiced for the Christmas holidays.
Stste Rights In Australia.
, Sydney, N. S. V., IV. 20, Jimoph
lli-tor Cnrriitliera, premier of Now
South Wales, hits oiiItih1 a slrotiKly
wurde.l proU-at iii?aliist any Interference
May Agree on Una Classification.
ChlcaKO, Dec II). All effort Is to
he made by thu railroads to obtain a
universal and systcinutlc climsllleatlon
of freight In roHMinHo to the (leiiniihU of
thu shippers and to the siiKgoatloiia ol
tlio Iiilerstuto Commerce commiHaloti,
The first sl'p In this direction was
taken by tho Central Freight assis-ia-lion,
which lins asked Ihn Kustern line
to join It In coiiHldcritiK tho iiiestlon.
The plan Is to appoint commlttwH
which will confer together and see if a
uniform clusHlllcatloii cannot l agreed
upon.
Let Officer Rise Faster,
Washington, Dec. 18. Tho president,
ycstonuiy soul to congross u sKHrlnl
inesMiiKO sl rongly roeoiiiiiiimdlnK elm lin
ing llui laws us lo tlio persouid of the
navy, lie urgm tho iiecinslty of such
legislation lis will iiiuno olliccrs of tlio
line of thu navy to reach tho griuloa of
captain and rear admiral at leas advanc
ed nges nnd will give thorn morn cxht
letico mid training In tlio lmsirtniit
duties of their grades, llndcr tho pres
ent syslom of promot ion captains nrn
cnuimlssioiiod at tlio nvcnige ngo of 50
and rear aduiimls at tlio average of 00.
Penalty for Making Campaign Gifts
Washington, Duo. 18. Tho Tllltiiun
I. Ill forlilddinir iiiit.loiinl luniks and
other corporations autliorl,ixl by con-
ItrewH, as won as corporations in gonorai
from contributing to election funds,
was ociisidiircd ycMlorday by the coin
nilllne on clod Ions of presldiyit and
vlco president, which docldod unani
mously to rexirt tho niattor favondily,
with tho addition of an Imprlsonmont
claiiKOBS well us Imposition of a fine
for offenders. '
ou tho mrt of the ltnsrliil comiiioii
.,, ... .1... l I.... ..I 4l... ul.il.i iwrif
ttinliiu in mo rigiiia "i e" '""
orn ills In statu affair. Ho declares
that tho Australian suite dwllnwl to
Hrmlti Alfred IH'iikln, inn priinu min
ister of the commonwealth, to spiuk
In their Udialf, and that any resold
n,..,M .,.l,,,,l..,l nt, 1 1 iii eoloiiliil eonlerenco
coiicernlim slulo matter would b Ig
nored on less tlio liicllvliliuil suites were
reprcsoutoil,
THREE 8TEAMER8 TIED UP.
Unable to Buy Coal to CM Away
From Pugt Sound
Hoiit.tle. Dec. 20. Three steamship
with tramp tiirgix'S have lon tied up
on Paget sound for it week await lug ccsil
which thev havo liocn unablo to buy.
Two stenuicrs which niadti a mkht!h1
trip to Coinox, II. C, for fuel bad to
return to port on this sldo of tho line
and In tho steamship trade, at least,
tho lliitlsli Colutiibla ctail fuuilno Is as
acute n In Ainerinni mrta, Seattle
ii ail ouiiimiiloM, giving the MhlppltiK
trade tlio preforeiKV, navo ikh-ii uoie
thus far to lake cure of the Heel out of
II, lu iiort, fnlrlv ttnll. but other I'llget
sound isirta have la-en extremely short
oil rial I .
It wa oatinuileil by one of the iiirstt
IniiMirtiiiit sUainmhln nmiiainl'-s on the
cisist tliul then Is a shortage of 10,000
ton of i I In the steamship Irado of
Puget sound. Theao llgurrn aunpiy
cover tho fuel Unit I needed by !
hnniinif Mliiiiners riilllillur out of I'llget
sound, but they give soinethlitg of an
ldiii of the extent ol (lie met Miioringe
in Industrial line.
Japanese Almost Rule Hawaii.
San Kruticiscn, lav, 20. Frank P.
Sargent, ooiiiinlKidoiior of Immigration,
retiirniHl from Honolulu yi-slenluy, ar
riving on tho JaiaiiM-ae liner Mpsin
Miiru. Hegimllng imiulgratlon matters
In Hawaii, iMtiiiiilsaloner Sargent said
I lint the J)iinie wero fast displacing
nil slioti kw-iHTS, iMiitrautora, caris-n
lera, and traUionen generally of other
niilioiiiilllli-s In the Island. Ih Jap
aiieae spiihilloii In the islumls Is, ho
ever, rather on the ilivrease, on account
of the rush of thu JutuiiicMo for this
count. Iliimlml of tho brown men are
monthly arriving at Honolulu, but
their stay there ia brief, the groat army
U'liig ln'iiu I In tlio dlre'tloii of the
mainland,
Bath Indicted on 166 Counts.
Toledo, ),, Dec. 20. .V long list ol
llldlelllielitH was retlirinsl here this Bl
U-ruisiii by I he Culled Slt graiul
jury. Hie Indictment nroiind which
next of the Interest Center are Uiiaw
agniust the Ann Arlsir Itallw-ay com-
uiy atul the TuUslo Ice and Cl rin
pany, for giving and luivpting rtdaite
on hn shlpinenU. The Toledo Ice and
foul coiiiiatany wit liulleti-. on 155
count lor receiving ami the Ann Arlsir
Italian' on a like iiutnls'r for graiitlng
relmtis on lee shipments. llio maxi
mum tltui Is '.'0,000 on each count.
Fulton Look Cut for Counties.
Washington, lee. 20. Senator Fill
ton today Secured the promuui of the
senate public lauds commtttoo t
amend the bill reiHtillng the timber
and stone act so that 20 per cent of
the receipt from the Male of public
tiuiU r sliiill Im- iid to cmiiitim in
which the timlor Is cut. This I in
lieu of taxe. The bill provide that
hereafter public timlior not In forest
r.itcrvi call ouly Iw acquiml by pur
i-liiiMo at not It than it appraiaed
value.
Opposes Blanket Increase.
Washington, IW. 11). Iteprwlita
live I.itt.mer, a ineinlM-r of the commit
tH) on appropriations, talked with
Prwiilent Kiswvelt tislny on the ipies
tiou of inert-using the salaries of gov
eminent employe. Jhe president is
understood not to favor a blanket iti
crcitHo of 20 per cent, although he is
said to feel that there are iiiuity men
In the government service who deserve
more than they are receiving.
ray uawma' era oy wo isay.
Washington, IVc. 18. liupnwcntii-
h a .. n
livn tiultie liiiroitiicoi a mil osuiy
providing that senator and repntioiita
Uvea shall receive $1:1.75 a day, their
iy to Ik deducted from their salaries
for each day they (nil to attend so
slotia. Tho slekiuti of mem1srs or
lllticwi In ; their fiiuiillcti aru Uio only
valid excuse.
Was Thar Congo Lobby?
Washington, Dee. III. Senator Pat-
trrsou in u resolution has asked that
the charge by a New York newspaper
In relation to a lobby having I icon sent
I. .1... l'..tl...l ... II... I.... -.....,1....
IO IIIO t 11111 r.- ill. ow inn, mwii'ii
of congress to Itiflticnce senators con
corning Congo I'ree Statu legislation be
Invest Igut-Hl by the somite committee
on foreign relations. I lie rosoltilloii
I mites Unit the lobby is alleged to have
i been maintained by a foreign govern
ment and that a consular ollielal sent
.communicnlloiis to senators in nn effort
j to inlluciico them.
I Accept President's Advice.
Washington, Dec. 18. Tint prosl
dent's public land message sent to con
' gross will prolmbly result In tho curly
' enact niiint of a law authorising tho lins
lng of public rntigii along thu lines be
suggeMts, and will nlnioHt surely result
In tho reiM'til of tho UiiiIht and slono
act and tin) radical imsllllciillon of the
desert laud uuil lioinesteiiil coinmutatlon
acts. Already sfei) arn under way U
jaiss a law resting permanent title to
public coal mnd in tun government; aim
a bill providing somo sucn law is like
ly to pass,
Reclamation Bill 8trlks 8nag.
Wasliliigton, Dec. 10. What are
considered defect In tho net for the re
(iiimiitioti of arid land were polntod
out. In a generiil discussion In the sen
nlo today of a bill to amend that act
No action was taken. Senators desired
to Indulge In further debute. Tho bill
reuulres estimates for proposed rocluin
atlon work to be sent annually' to con
gress and amendments were proposed
making a direct appropriation nucos
wiry before tho work can proceed.
rHE INTELLECTUAL Y0UNQ MAN.
Olrl 1'rled to lie fen ver(luB ou
lllMh lulelleeluMl I'liine.
The late Maurice llinrytiiore told n
cupllfil siory one evening. It has tfune
the round more or loss since liiuti. out
I have never soon It In print:
"A society bud goes tu her first big
party. It Is n gorgeous social event,
ami alio la all lliilterlng with excite
ment. The star of till big party I
young mini recently relumed from
lung trln abroad after completing his
course at Harvard, lie I very hand
some, very brilliant, very rich. All
the young women are overwhelmingly
Interested. The brilliant young man
mi'ol the little dcliuliuilo, mid fulls
head over heels III love. He dames
with her repeatedly, and then aslis If
he may cull. The girl, very much imi
tated, says that she will ask her mam
ma. Mother, eijiliilly agitated, tells
her daughter to say that they will l
delighted to have him cull; and he
say Unit he will drop In ou the fol
lowing Thursday evening. The society
bud goes boiim, her head whirling wit II
the excitement of her 11 rat tllrtnlloti
aud the anticipation of a cull from the
rial catch of the season. Next day
she socks out some of her girl friend.
" 'Just think, bit's coming to call next
Thursday evening,' she say 'Oh. my.
what'll I say to lilm when he ealls7
He I so smart and Intellectual j gradu
ated at Harvard and traveled abroad
and all Hint. I Just know I won't 1st
nl.lo tu talk about thu things thut In
terest him. What do you think hell
want to talk uloul7'
"I dare say,' replied her friend,
that he will want to talk about liter
ature, art, or history.'
"'Hut I don't know anything about
them.'
" 'Why dou't you read up? You have
four day, and you can do lot of
reading lu thut time.'
Mo the young woman read history
for four days, so that she might lw
able to carry ou a conversation with
the lutollectuiil giant from Harvard,
who had travcli-d abroad. Thursday
i.reiiltig came. He arrived and was
shewn lulu the parlor. Presently ah
came down. He arose and took her by
tlio baud and begau to talk to her as
follows:
' '(), but I'm (lad to see you again.
and say, you're looklu' fine tonight.
Thut gown Is corker. How have you
been since the dunce! Didn't we have
a great tlmoj Hay, 1 never enjoyed
myself o much In my life. Vou're the
ft en test partner I ever dutuvd with.
When It come to two stepping you're
tho sure enough limit. Honestly, you
are. I'm nut strtnglii' yuti. 1 have
Uctl thlliktll' all week about coinlll' Up
her tonight, aud you don't know hoar
tickled I am tu see you looklu' so
well.'
Tor ten minutes ha gabbled on. Hhe
leaned back lu her chair, ralul and self
possessed, determined Unit this Intel
h't-tual being should hot be cottiisdled
to bring the conversation duwu tu her
li vel.
"finally there was a lull, and she
lNked across at hint and said : 'Wasn't
that too bad about Mary, Queen of
HootsT
Tt young man was startled. 'Why,
what do you aieanT he asked.
"'Haven't you beard about Itf aho
exclaimed. 'Why, gracious met 8 tie
bad her head cut off I'" George Ado,
III Success Magaslne.
Oar "ladlaa Aevni."
very little while some English
writer apiear with the theory that
the physhpio of American Is becom
lug assimilated to that of the abor-
Iglnea. It Is a philologist, Enid Camp
111 Dawiicey, who now uses this the
ory to account for tlm peculiarities of
American apvwb as "due to purlieu
Inr formation of the puliito. Ncullar
originally to the Amerlcau ludluus,
but now shared by tho Invader."
That this Is nonsense spaara from the
fact that American taken tu childhood
to England iuk with an English ac
cent. There can tie no question as to
the marked divergence of English and
American sshcIi. particularly In (lie
matter of Intonation, Anierlenn apocch
Is much more monotonous and less
spontaneous, the regular full of the
voice at the close of Kenton. v being
perhaps bookish rather than oonversu
tlotial. Thus American speech, among
the cultivated, Is apt to be simple, even
and logical, like a page of print, white
English speech s much more varied
unit expressive In Its cadences.
Hprluglleld Itepuhllcnn.
Dead Onto Tfcem,
A statesman, In an argument, had
turned the tables rather neatly ou his
opisiiietit. Senator Dolllver, lu con
gratulation, said:
"You remind mo of a Fort Dodge
doctor Dr. X , This genth ia
once had a grave dug for a patient;
supKied to be dying, who afterward
recovered, and over this error of Judg
ment the dwtor waa Joked for many
year.
"Onco he attended, In consultation
with three confrere, another patient
Tho patient really died. After death.
as tho physician discussed tho enso to
get her, one of them said:
"'Hlncc ipilck burial Is necessary, wo
might Inter the body leniMit'iirlly, l
understand our brother hero has a Va
cunt grave on hand.'
")r. X smiled.
"'Yea,' ho said. 'I ladlevo I am the
only physician present whose graveV
are not all tilled.' "
I'llr Them. t
An Atchison man nnd hla wife sat
down the other night and talked
over. "We have been fining It for si
weeks," he said, "and dread of del
what He before us Is not making
any easier. We have It to do; lot
eir n now." ill wire nureeil
vlt
lilm and departed sadly for tlm colhi
When she returned she curried a n
of preserved fruit. Thuy hud decided
to begin to eat their way through tm
quarts of penclies, 47 quarts of strn
berries, 78 quarts or clierrle and
quarts of plums put up lust summer
Atchison (Untie.
43
A wotiuiu may bo un nugol or a devil.
ti ml being nil liugcl Is cinder thuu being
t UovlL
Why Refer
to Doctors
Because wo make medlclnea
for ihcm. Wo give ihcm the
formula for Ayer'a Cherry
r f A tUmtf nroa(rlhe if
IreCtOIBI,anu invy
fnr eouuhi. colds, bronchliUf
consumption. They trust ir.
Then you con ofTord to trust
It. Sold for over CO years.
AWt f!Hrrr lMTlarl la a rsmsdf llisl
a..l f II liar listll ik.uitIi. sn fuHla, an4 I
!,,," riuM.in.i..l I 14... 'uglily."-SUM
Coiiss. Ilraa I'ark, Kaaa.
A ao.
lf 1. O. T Oo- Irfwrjll,
iaa
aisnuAMltufsra f
f (nitSAPasiLU
iers
Milt.
Mais viont,
yr' Pills grsmtly aid Chorry
Paiotoral in bronklnu wp cold.
It Inuaiti-il I Ba-raleful.
A frugal and Industrious lineuiukr
has two diinghter. of whuiit bo I very
proud. He provide a good home for
them, dresses them well, and I giving
them a good education. Not long ago
he drew 011 his modest bank account
for a sum siillUicnt to purchuae a new
ilnuo for them. What followed Uuiy
be dcsvrllM'd In his owu word.
tih, ye," he confided to a neighbor.
"they wire grateful enough for It, of
murse, and It's a great comfort to
hear 'fin play and slug, but what do
rou iipMiewas the first thing the girl
learned on ItT" , j
"I'm sure I don't know," said the
aelghtMr. '
Everybody Work but Father.'" j
Beware ot matnents lor Catarrh that
Contain Mercury
aa marrarr will sutaly l..tr..y tba sons ol
mill awl o"iu'l"t"lr daiausa lb wool aja
lam wi.vb siiU'ili II llo.-usli Iha in uiu.ua
i(i.a hurli alio iaaai.ould ner ba uk-4
uiua r ili.ii.u I'o o isi'UiaLls .i. -.Ulall,aaiha.lamai(..llir
KlllUola Wn li ld
IO I,S"'M1 1 tSH'll"T flO'lR H,.H.
Mail 1 .i.uli ur. maiiutariuied l. Y. i.
hniioy A ' o.,Tola.l..,eniaiiiauarnn-y,
and la laten Iniaroad)-, aeilnf dlreeily U.n
Ilia IUwmI aiel miii.uauria.fai ins a)sm.
In burins llall'a I alarm 1 iirUture ou l
Ilia genuine. (I la latvli lulartiallr, aud mill
lu l,.r.l...ulilo, If r. i.llJUi.Jf U. 1U
aielilai Innl,
S-.l.l hf oruvsiioa, .rie ?ae. H-r uoua.
Hall a I aulj I ill. sis Ilia baaU
I.ool.r4 Tkaf War.
"t!onie. Willie," said his mother,
"don't be so Hellish. lyct your little
brother play with your marble s little
while"
"Hut," protested Willie, "be means
to have them always."
"Oh. I giu-s not."
"I gties ye. Vauae ho' swallowed
'em." SL Ixml Tost Dispatch.
Mottiar will Sad Mrs. Window's loot ti In a
S)fu. il b-ai rouinlr 10 ussloriiialleliUUivj
Aurlug lU WsUUug irlod.
(lisla.liin. o lllalurr.
Rocralrs waa busily eiiin.'.-d In
rrlt-
Int.
"Why do you keep on grinding out that
stiitrr shrilly kd Xaaitipue. "It
doesn't sell. NiiHB-trnlba of It come
back from tha publiaber !"
"I know It," ha aaid. "I am writing
for tba benefit of posterity, In tb belief
thai ."
"Posterity '," anapiied Xantljip. "What
baa poaterity aver don for you, I'd lik
t know !"
"Posterity, my dear," mildly rejoined
Socrates, "baa always been polite enough
not to Interrupt bis ir tb mlddl of a
sentenca,"
Which crushing retort sllrnced ths good
dame fur ths space of nearly thirty met
ond.
at. Vltna Paara and all Kamwia Dok-aana
mai.ii.ullf mmt v Or. Klin.'a i.rvat
tnl.nl. MndK.r I HKIC ? trial blU.arl i
liMUaa. Or. H. II. K lla., UL, au ami bu. raisM a
l-'rre el llaWli.
The moderu Sherlock chuckled.
"I'll stake silk hat against a stogie
that man Is New York policeman,"
he whlsHTed.
"How can you toll?" asked the my,
titled friend. "H Is not lu uniform."
"No, but I shouted 'Side door to the
right !' aud you should have seen hhu
duck."
ruts curio in t to u days.
PAZO tilSTMKN'T t suarcnlead to cure any
eae ot trlilnf, blind, bleeitltigor protruding
plliia in 0 io 1! days or niottt-y nduuded.fsle.
Obvlnua Kaplnaatluai.
"I find It difficult to grasp some of
your Idloma," an id tb scholarly looking
man with the spectacles and the slightly
foreign accent. "Kor exainide, I lender
ed tu a cab driver this morning a coin
which I s tpposcd waa the legal tea. He
looked at It and said It was shy about
one-half. What did b mean by "shy'T"
"He meant thst you bad offered bliu
too modest a sum," said tb native,
"O. I see."
hi
w
I'll Kind You llnvo Alwuyit
tiiro ot CIiiih. II. Flctclior, mid lins boon miulo under hla
IH'i'HoiiiU aiipcrvlhlon lor ovor yours. Allow no ono
to (loi-olvo you in tills. CoiuitortVlt-s, IniHiitlon mid
a,iiiNt-n-tr.ml" nro but KxporliuontH, ami oiiduiiifor tUo
luiiltll of Children lixi.crlcnoo UKraliiKt KxiioriiucuU
r What is CASTORIA
Cnatorla in n lmrmU Kiihstltitto for Ciuttor Oil, l'oro
Uorlo, lron and Nootlilnur Kyriipa. It is lMoniiiint. It
contains neither Opium, Morphine, nor othor nrcotlo
HiiliHtuiieo. Its) niro Is its K'oinuitoe. It deatrovs AVorins
niul lUlnys IVveriMhiieHK. Jt cures liiurrlweu uiul -Vtml
Colle. It retlevos Teotlilnir Trouhlos, euros Const Ipntiou
and 1 liitiileiiev. It usHtuilhites the. l'ood, rejrulntes tho
Stoiniicli mut iiowels, irkvlnir lionlihy iiuit mittirul sleco.
llio Chlldreii's l'nnuceiv Tho Mother's l'rleiid.
The Kind You Have Always Bought
S7
Sears the
In Use For Over 30 Years.
All tll hl hr.mA.
in an iMividMsiitp.
Vawns almk hsn
St all lluex. I i,rt.,,.
toliili-ni's soII'-IUmI,
sllfa'tlon suaran
lot'il. A'lilnv.
0, i. arvr
Caotsnia, Oragva
ENGLISH .
BERKSHIRES
RUBBER STAfIPS BZ
Wa An not tslin nrdsia and jdttonr Itut.lwp
siamiHi, eel. W manuattura our
own rood a. our c-inlt.'in la n, ..,,
aiel I., ni n...n.'r esn liur. W in today for um
"Jlublsif Stamp t:allou."
THE IKWIN-HODSOM CO,
Portland, Oiagort
ill
'.urn
BIG MONEY
Kor ru tu
NEVADA p"."," MINES
A rw llnielnut . C. A IW KION, B.ok..
MeaMaVl"1"'1 " Umbw t,'h"'"
Will. Today. ' POHriANO, ONtOOS)
W at
IlinlM-r
srs uirrha.ln( 'tiu for larg.
r boyTa tretn all f.ana of ti.s
rouiiiry. tio-M) niii ar tmatiltig In
Oraava sn.l Vashlna1Ml llwlsir Isi.U.
It Mill .ay yu I" .ill iwlwinMiaU'ly,
giving Uaal SrariaO'Ml "
oil your innlN-r iau'l lu llokM .lalw.
Addina tloilsir l.arluirnl,
Nor1hes!erD Guarantee k Trust Co,
Lsaksr tut MCI tH. Siual flstr
1 1 Car. W u4 Start Sti. fOSruiO, OUSM
fjD PLATES
ncunj
IILY
L V)a ifinov y.mr l. teeth and Iwkaa
nt old loots allulrly allliool l.ln. taaaaa
t :iaan4 I Miniate r.. W.a O.e Iwt. I na
iiktL.iv.imii. ! 1 in.H; Hrl-Ireauia,
i:o t-r l.ili; CO.l.l and t'nnne.1 Filling. It
gn.l ec; 1- -i l.ul.l- r i'lsuv, $7 lu jK-r toll uod
grl.lx la)nl,ft l.itraetlon. S.
1 liu aaat Cawtk SUaala. Part land. Orrgaa.
There Is no aatiaf action keener
than beino dry And comforudyl
when out; in Uv hardest tornv
It tou wcav
WATEWBOOF
V.0ILED CLOTHING
PIACX OS YtUOW
o cm in wtanriUL
a 1 rowtlco MJT0HMAS5 0 i.
t0U tAUHa.1 C0.LaW.T0Malt0 M
DR. C. GEE WO
Wonderful Hon
Treatment
ThU Wndfftil CW
tMN tVacti-ar u raU4
cril lx-,is h cur-
iH'lilw wtitvout fiwr
liott tbi nn. $ vn MP
! til, U rr t h
lh wumlf r(u ( ht--
hvrtvs IW bl
ht W etui) ?' i
tliot km ilrlr uiv
kBrn t fliraU- a.1 V
fm in ti nwmrr thruun tnu u i uv
brmM r madi TttH iuututtiiv'tT lmti
l ha tv'i ton of flv-r in tuflT tti rwutMi wt,ictt
b um umMtb Ijr In dffrnftni. iti If
(ttMia'rti lururicttrfh, ihin, tunc. Ihftmi
tlx unwti Dia ti'-rviuiit-v itotiiaibi
tfl 1 b.MH buMrill Of l.-lttKtHWllaU.
1 hr- nodttat, vil kikI mm hlttw r lwnM
mil or lit cur wHi t.r iitwti.lrv-ttlr,
U4 UUa.p. lU.NHl l I Al aU.N HUha.
Th C Gr Wo ChineMB Medicine Co.
162l rtrtt SU, S. C Cor. Morrtso
MontloQ iiKr PorUnd. Orc
No. M
'HEN writing; to ad vartlaer plaaas
uiftiiioB tins air.
Itouulit litis) borno tlio aletia-
Signature of
NN TONH OITV,
LARGE
i
Wt !. 1
aiiaiisai iiiaaiaaJ
aBa3SsBflBBBVsBaVas9BBMBaSBaaV
flniportznt to Timber Owners 1
Si