The Oregon mist., July 07, 1905, Image 4

HUMOR OP THE WEEK
TORIES TOLD BY FUNNY
OF THE PRE8S.
MEN
Odd( Carlos and Lau.habl Paaa
Rliau Nature Graphically Portray
4 by Bamlnoa Wont Artlata af Oar
Owa Day A Had: af Turn.
"Doctor," said th brld of yaar,
"I wlih you would try to pcnutd my
husband to lay asld the caret of bual
Dm and take a few week' reet I'm
sure be la killing himself with over
work."
"Why do you think aor asked the
If. D.
Because," she explained, "when we
were first married he alwaya got home
from the office by S o'clock, but bow
he la often detained until after mid
Bight"
Cartalaly.
Katharine The public la waging
war against the niUk trust
Kidder Tea, and the publlo will be
forced to take water, aa usual San
Francisco Call.
Both N
ry.
The Watchman What are you look
log fort
The Becker I just lost two llcem
a dog and a marriage license.
The Watchman Well, here's the
marriage license. I found It In the
hall.
The Seeker It ain't no good with'
out the dug license. She agreed to
marry me providing I also got a 11'
cense for her dog. Cincinnati En
quirer.
Perfectly Safe.
Weary Walker Say, yer a disgrace
ter de profesh. I heard yer tellln' dat
woman yer'd saw soaie wood for her
If aha gev yer a meal.
Bagson Tatters G on! Don t yer
"pose I made sure foist dat she didn't
hare no wood ter saw J Philadelphia
Press.
What Pap Bald.
The young wife had Just returned
from making a duty call.
"There," she exclaimed, aa aha re
stored a new $27.36 hat from her head,
"a great load haa been lifted from my
mind."
"I auppose so," rejoined her husband
with a large, open-faced sigh, aa he
glanced at the bat "and there will be
greater load lifted from mine when I
get square with your milliner."
Aa Early Start.
Brown I aee by the papers that
Ardupp has Just celebrated hla golden
redding.
Green Hla golden wedding I Why,
he waa only married yesterday.
Brown Tea, but he married an hetr-
Aa a Beanlt,
"Did yon hear that the OUenbya
bare separated V
"No. What was the trouble r
"lie wanted her to move to their
country place, and she wouldn't think
of leaving town."
"And where are they now?"
"She has gone to her mother out on
the farm, and he is living with bis
parents In town." Chicago Tribune.
Mot Quite the Same.
-ma ne reaiiy leu you l dad a case
of stage fright?" aaked the amateur
eatress.
"No," replied her dearest friend, "he
aid you were." Philadelphia Preaa.
Speed Limit.
Eva When Jack proposed In the
automobile were you In love with him?
Ernie I waa carried away with
blm.
Eva Tou don't aayl
Ernie Ye. He lost control of the
machine.
Modern Social Baqnlresaaata.
"Ten engagements for this even
Ing?" inquired the husband. "Do you
thin you can nil all of them?"
"Easily enough," replies the wtfs,
"I shall send my Jewels to the opera,
my French bonnet to Mrs. Sweliupp's.
my last year's ball gown to Unci Jsd-
edlah's family dinner, and distribute
Others of my costumes among the rest
of the places, Then, while they ara
on exhibition, I shall get Into a com
fortable wrapper and get good loaf
ber at borne for once."
Purely a Queetlon of Speed.
"What la the greater the general
who wins tne battle or ths general who
successfully brings hla army through
dangerous retreat?"
"That is hard question to answer
without knowing which war oorre
pondant got the wire first" Clsaiav
Att Oemmerclal-Trlbunet
No Kepeater.
"Going to learn to swim this coming
season?"
"Not unless we get acquainted with
some new fellows."
"Why can't the boys In our set teach
you?"
"Each' of them haa already done so."
Houston Post.
The Usual Angle,
She That waiter stumbles every
time he comes In with a tray of dishes
and scares me half to death 1
He Oh, don't worry about his not
walking straight he'a uaed to tipping!
Detroit Free Frees.
Juat a Wetaa. They Have.
Eerwln I don't know how the coal
dealera manage to make a living.
Parker Why, I thought there waa
big money In the coal business.
Kerwln o there la, if enough la
soldi but the dealer give most of It a
weigh.
Behind the Scan.
Mr. Hsu Lett Ara there any long
walta In the part you are now play
ing
kllss Sue Brette Rather. I've been
waiting ten weeka for a chance to look
at my salary.
An Awfal Shock.
Mrs. Homer Did I understand you
to say that Mrs. DeSniythe IS suffering
from nervous prostration T
Mrs. Caller Tes.
Mr. Homer What caused It J
Mrs. Caller &h baa bean fashion
able invalid for years and the doctor
told her last week that there waa abso
lutely nothing the matter with her.
Only Partial Belief.
Inquisitive Friend What Is the most
lnhU ntir natlantat
r - a
Caahlonable Phialclan They have
mora Mm. and mon.T than they know
what to do with.
Inquisitive Friend Do you relieve
them? ,
Fashionable Physician Of their
money yes.
Disappointment.
She Waa Mrs. Uppson's reception
an enjoyable affair?
He Well, there waa on enjoyable
feature in connection with it
She And what wss that?
He Miss Screecher, who waa ex
pected to alng, failed to appear.
Pa'a Own Idea.
She Darling, we muat elope.
He But aurely your fata haa no
objection
She None whatever. He suggested
It In fact; he ssys It will be cheaper.
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Making It Kvan.
But you tell me so many things I
cannot believe."
You are no worse off than I am. I
tell you a whole lot of things I don't
believe myself."
n.1..
"Thar, waa a Mm. - a1mlft tha aM
bachelor, "when I thought of marrying
for money."
Well." queried hla friend Wedderly.
' I
"why didn't your
"Unfortunately," explained the o. b.,
"the girl with the coin waa also a
thinker."
No Boom for Doubt.
"So you are going to marry that dude
bookkeeper, are you," aald the restau
rant cashier. "Well, I hope you will
be happy."
Sure I will," ana wared the blonde
waitress. "He makes $20 a week and
weighs thirty-five pounds less than I
do.
Happy? Well, I guess yT
B Knew the Bex.
The Maid Mr. DeJones haa aaked
me to marry him. Would yon advise
ma to accept?
The Man But you don't love him.
The Maid How do you know I
don't?
The Man If you did you wouldn't
aak my advice.
Bright Boy.
"Where did George Washington
first cut out a name for himself?"
asked the teacher.
In his school desk with a barlow
knife." spoke up the boy In the end
aeat
As Bepraoantad.
Patient Look bare, doctor, you said
If I took a bottle of your tonic I would
have a remarkable appetite. Why,
eat only one soda cracker each week.
Doctor Well, don't you call that a
remarkable appetite?
Literally.
uunner xet, aim, uiacxart re
fused to join the union of medium and
Is now holding her own seance.
Guyer Ah, showing an Independent
spirit cb?
Tbs Conductor Moored.
Some time ago several traveling
men were sitting together In a car
on a train which dally makes a round
trip ovsr a certain division of ths Bos
ton A Maine Ballroad. On of the
number, th Boston Herald says, bad
not only monopolized the conversation,
but from time to time had poked fun
at the quiet conductor.
As th trsin approached the Haver-
bill station, ths traveling man turned
to th conductor, who stood near by,
and shouted boisterously:
"Say, George, what mad them lo
ot th station so far away from ths
Tillage?"
"I don't know," th conductor grave-
ly replied, "unls they thought It
would be more convenient to hiv It
down her near th railroad."
No Bias Law la Hawaii.
Th Hawaiian legislature has nans-
ed over the Governor' veto a law al-1
lowlna- baseball and similar amnaa. I
I . ' . puiw.g egar
twi vuivr aurav w riaaui vyvM VM I
iui aa
n ri n r tx-n i-v ii rw sl :
Jwfn ROQUE RIVER VALLEY HOPS. I
The title of W. D. Howell's new
novel la now announced aa "Miss Bel
lard's Inspiration." The Harpers, of
course, will publish It
The abiding popularity of Dickens
Is atteated by the fact that more than
00,000 conies of his various books
were sold In England alone during De
cember last
During his Incarceration Maxim Gor
ky waa not Idle. He wrote a new
play, "The Children of the Sun,'
drama dealing with the revolutionary
movement, which he regarda as his
masterpiece.
Rev. Cyrus Towusend Brady has de
cided to accept, permanently, the pas
torate of the church In Toledo, which
he has occupied temporarily. It may
be Inferred, then, that bis literary out
put will be larger In sermons and leas-
er In fiction.
Bir Walter Scott's autograph manu
script of "The Bonnets o' Hounte Dun
aee," as originally written in ten
vsrses of eight lines each, has Just
been sold In Iondon tor $4 lb. The song
was Introduced Is the drama of 'The
Doom of Devorgoll," and waa written
at Christmas, 1825.
Stephen Thllllpa la about to under
take the rehabilitation of the charac
ter of Nero, in cheerful confidence
that he will be able to give quite a
different presentation of Nero from
that usually made. Mr. Phillips re-
,.. ,. hK.i - .,
u
u """- P'u n position Of
omnipotence.
William Cowper Prlue, who died.
waa the author of that little classic of
outdoor life, "I Go a-Flshlna" II
was a well knowu figure In New Tork,
lawyer, author, and for a number of
years one of the editors and owners
of the New York Journal of Com'
mere. He was a collector of coins,
medals, seals and pottery, hla home In
tne metropolia being a veritable mu
seum.
Philip Verrlll Mlghel. author of
sentimental little story, "Bruvver
Jim's Baby," has written another
novel which the Harpers will soon pub-
usn. air. jdignels has eft bable and
u west behind him. and hla
story is of New Tork politics and the
-j vi rings, ana of Donest youns
men who Join them to spy out their
memoa ana propose to remain uncor
ruptible under temptatlona many and
vanea.
Hera la another Beaconsfleld in
dote, from the two volumed diary of
"e iion. blr Mountstuart Grant
Duff: A famoua diplomatist went once
to aee the statesman, conversed with
mm ror some time, and found him
very agreeable. Soon after, the waiter
wno naa shown him np came and ask-
me visitor ror a present: "But
why?" "Don't you remember," was
me answer, i showed you up to Lord
Beeeonjfleld." "What of tharr- ..m
the other. "Oh, sir. sfter you bad gone
ue mu oamn me uncommon for telling
jvu ue waa ai nome.
Keepe Hi Auto Harm
The automobile do- hs hurt hi. a..
IS h- . u-i "
- - um srartiinar Innovation
' aUtOmoblllng resident of lira V
man' 'mitators. There Is a
certain practical side of this Ides
aaltl.ti . . -
" J"" "PPei to many who have
a"a UP lne dog carrying Idea to
" ur man carries with
him a gorgeous hued parrot that hat
been trained to cry, "Look out! Look
out!" whenever anyone la endangered
by ita master's car.
Fashionable London was but recent.
ly In the throes of a most serious and
,it...i
as to what breed of
dogs was best fitted to wear goggles
and sit at the guest hand of the chauf
feur, but perchance, the news of this
latest Yankee notion mar a-tva th
Brttlah motorist further food for dis
cussion.
According to the cables, a young
American woman who baa been tour
Ing in Europe In ber motor car has
been carrying a pet pig with her, to
the great wonder and scandal of conti
nental beholders. One of New York's
fashionable women, who drives her
own csr, Is nearly always accompanied
by a pet black cat from which she
possibly can get sn electric spark when
the Igniter of ber car refuses to do Its
usual duty.
The man who carries his parrot with
blm professes to be highly pleased
with the idea, as the bird nerches
on
the steering wheel, seat or dashboard,
tnd its penetrating voice has proved
-
far more efficacious as a warning sig
nal than the too familiar sound of an
automobile horn.
Navigation In Louisiana.
Congressman Broussard, of Loulsl-
ana, saya that at New Iberia, his State,
In ths early nineties, when that district
wss visited by a severe flood, one of
the expeditions for relief organized by
the government one day encountered
an old negro who. In a dilapidated dug
out waa having considerable difficulty
In keeping afloat. The old fellow was
busy paddling with one band while be
balled out his craft with the other.
At this Juncture the relief boat came
within hailing distance and the cap
tain called out: "Hello, there, unclel
Anything you want?"
Nothln' 'cept wings, boss," was th
grim reply.
Peril In Too Kapld Transit.
"I sea that a California Inventor
claim to have a machine of com sort
that will enable people to travel 300
miles an hour."
"Tremendous! Can the machine be
stopped Instantly If necessary?"
"Th Inventor soys It can."
'And bow about th passengers? Do
they atop too?"
"No! they keep right on for about
fifty miles farther." Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
If " closely investigate yourself,
f cours you frequently have compll
ment Pal1 7u tat you recognize
lnslncsrs.
do ,ou Uk to cause peopl to rub-
hart
III OREGON STATE ITEMS OF INTEREST
Acreags Haa Been Doubled and Yield
Promises Wsll.
Grants Pass Hod prospect in the
Rogue River valley ar superb thli
year, and this district is rapidly getting
to be one of the steadiest aad best u
producers on the TariHc coast. It
too early yet to say what price will be,
but tliev stand at preseut at 24 to 25
cents, without buyers, and little
none offered by growers. Tho "Kng-
lmh clutter" i a litlte "off" in some
sections of the valley this year, but the
native are reported very strong. Tin
cronofl80tl will nearly double the
acreage of that of 1U04, which wat in
the neighborhood of 300 acres, or about
300,000 pounda j the average yield be
ing 1,000 pounds per acre.
Hop growers have at last been arous
ed from their long sleep, and many of
them have given their yards eplemlitl
fertilisation and cultivation this year
John Kauasan, who has the largest
varde in the county, comprising 87
acres, and several others in -his vicini
tv. whose varda lie along the bank of
Kogue river, have installed splendid
irasoline engine and pumps, so tl at
their yards will be finely irrigated.
The total acreage of yards in tl
county at the present time is 708 scree
of which the new vards planted this
year and which will not be in full bear
ing until next year, comprise 1(10 acres,
leaving 548 an ej of yards which will
be in full bearing the present year.
great many parties have purchased land
in the far famed Kogue river vallry
with a view to putting in yards net
year, and should the price ol hops go
np, the Kogue river valley will become
one of the big hop districts of the coast
Get Rival Phone Line.
AlbanyThe city council of Albany
ha granted the oft requested franchise
to the independent telephone people,
and in the near future construction
will be commenced on the exchange of
the independent people in Alliany. All
the independent lines in Linn and
Benton counties are Included in the
company that lia secured the Iran
cliiae in Albany, and when the aystem
s completed there will be a free ex
change between the principal towns of
these counties. It is expected that
spirited competition will secure a need
ed better service in Albanv.
File Petition Wrongly.
Salem I'nleas the friends ol the wo
man suffrage amendment exercise more
ire than they have been doing, their
nitiative petitions for the submission
of the proposed amendment will be fa
tally defective. Secretary of State
Dunbar has rveived reveral petitions
on the blanks prepared by the advocates
f woman suffrage, but in his opinion
the signatures on these petitions cannot
tie counted in making up the total num
her of signature for the iniative. He
holds that the separate sheet upon
which the signatures are written ahonld
l gathered together and filed at one
time.
Road May Go Into th Nahalem.
Rainier A logging railroad into Hai
ier is practically assured. The Ham
mond interests have secured a right of
way frcm Dean Itlanchard, the Deerdorf
estate, and the Western Cedar company.
W. I.. Newsome lias proven the only
obstacle so far. The company owns
,200 acres of heav'ly timbered land
about three miles from this place. It
s surmised that it is the intention to
push on to the Nehalem, aa the same
parties were negotiating with 8. llei s in
for his Clatskanie road. It is possible
i at Mr. iiockie' railroad will be ab
sorbed by the new company.
Big Canal at Gold Hill.
Salem The largest private water fil
ings that have been made under the
new water right law, were received
by State Engineer Lewis when the
Gold Hill Canal company filed on
seven streams to secure feeders for their
immense canal system leading from the
mountains to the town of Gold Hill,
in Jackson county. The filing notices
and the accompanying notices show
that the company will have "tt miles
of main canals, besides several miles
of feeders. The notice are signed by
Daniel lA'itley.
Pays for Teeth Made In 1870.
La Grande William Proebstel re
ceived this week a remittance of 30
in payment of a debt that has been due
35 years. Mr, Proelistel was formerly
dentist and in 1870 he inade a set of
teeth for a young woman who married
and moved away without settling the
bill, and in the course of time the mat
ter waa forgotten as far as Mr. Proebstel
was concerned. The missive came from
a town on Puget sound, inclosing a
draft for I'M) and explaining what it
waa for. The writer stated that she
now felt able to pay the bill.
Music at Chautauqua.
Oregon City Professor Frederick W.
Goodrich, of Portland, who has been
engaged aa instructor and musical con
ductor for the Willamette Valley Chau
tauqua association, reports that there
will be 100 voice in the large chorus,
which will include Mrs. Rose Iilmh
liauer and many other prominent Port
land singers. This chorus w:ll be ang
umented by between 60 and 75 voices
from this city. Two cantatas will be
presented during the session.
Wool-Clipping Delayed.
Enterprise Sheep shearing In this
county has been greatly handicapped
hy the heavy rains of the paitt ween.
Unless bettor weather prevails the wool
clip of this county will not be d it) rosed
of until the latter part of July,
Refuse to Sign Land.
Klamath Falls The Shook brothers,
of Dairy, li. 1), lleekman, of Jackson
ville, and Mrs. D. K. Italston, of Ash
land, are holding up government Irri
gation by refusing to sign their lands.
HOP GROWERS IN POOL.
Lan County Lines Up Under Krebt'
Mansgsmsnt
Kugene A large number of lo
grower of Une county met In K.ugen
last week lo take preliminary steps
help form a gignstio corporation to
handle the crop of tlie ri itlo coast and
to control prices. Conrad Krelm,
Salem, president of Iho Krebs Ho
company, whic h has 24 acres of hops
at IiKlenendelice and llrookn, is at tt
head of this big movement.
A general convention will be held at
Salem some time in July attended li
delegted elected from the seveial ho
districts. At this convention the cur-
noration will be formed. After It
formation tll ITOI1 of PSl'll IffOWer Will
be transferred to the corporation, whii l
will do all the selling. A IkuiM of d
rectors will lie elected ami the directors
will BMHiint a selling committee whic
will meet in Salem every Saturday fi
the purpose of making sales and report
on the condition of th marketts, etc.
lion extwrts ta ill be called in to ascer
tain the qmlity of ea.di crop and keep
it in its proiwr grade.
Mr. Kiebs is encouraged over his
protect, and stated that he believes
that 0 tier cent of the 1!05 crop will
lie turned into this corporation. Aft
he gets Oiegon thoroughly organised he
will go to Washington, and then to ew
tork state, and expects to have the en
tire crop of the I nited Htates uml
control of the corporation.
BANKS COME TO AID.
Take Up Asylum Employes' Certifi'
catea of Allowance.
8alem Arrangements have been
made by which all employes of state
institutions at Salem wilL rectdve tl
(are value of their salary claims each
month. Portland banks have agreed to
take up the rertillctaes of allowance is
sued by Secretary of Mate DunlMtr to
the amount of the pay-roll of each in
stitution, and hold these certificate
until an appropriation becomes avails
tile. They will depend upon the nex
legislature to allow interest ou tl
nn ney, and ttovrrnor Chamberlain Im
id that he will recommend that in
tervat be allowed. The amount of the
salary claims will probably lie flNO,
000 up to the adjournment of the next
legislature, lliere will l no more
discounting rf salary claims, but claims
for supplies will lie shaved as lisretiv
fore.
Land Office In Portland.
Oregon C'itv At the close of business
June 110 the biisineas, together with the
records and archives of the Oregon City
l-and ottice, were transferred to Port
land and iitalled in the lUaxier build
ing, corner of West P.irk and Washing
ton street-1. Simultaneous with the re
moval of the land oflice from this city
takes place a change in the name of
the office, which will now lie otliciallv
ilesignated a the Portland l.iml oilier
Register Dresser and Receiver lliliee
will remove with their families to Port
land this summer.
Slow to File Reports.
Palem The laat day for the filing o
annual report of corporations I,
paused and half the 3,000 corporations
are delinquent. The penalty of I00
is not incurred by this delinquency mi
il July 20. Three-fourths of the min
ing companies that have lilwl report
in us tar have taken advantage of tin
act of the legialature of 11)05 by certi
tying that the output of their mine for
one year ha not amounted to 1,000
Ity making this statement they avoid
the payment of the graduated license
tax and pay a flat rate of 1 10 per year
Plant Rainbow Trout.
Cottage Grov Thirty thousand
rainbow triut have arrived here, shin
ped by the gnvernmnel bureau of Klsh-
eries. Twenty thousand came tn I). T
Awhrey and 10,000 to the Oregon A
ouuvueojuern railroad company, mese
trout are to I distributed in branches
tributary lo the Willamette river
They will lie placed in small clearwster
streams anil will lie held there until
old enough to breed, and then turned
loom".
Fields Li Flat.
hn'e-pnse Recent h aw rains In
this section hava caused much of the
heavy grain and first crop of hay lo
fall. The grain which has fallen will
necessarily have to be cut for hay, as it
cannot be harvested with a binder or
header.
PORTLAND MARKETS.
Wheat (Jliib, 82a8:ic per bushel;
bluestem, HUW; valley, nominal.
Barley Peer, $22(922.50 icr ton;
loiieo, sz.i.ou.
Oats No. 1 white, feed, $30
ton; gray. $:).
Mfr
Hay Timothy, $l4lfl per ton;
clover, $11(312; grain, $llft12.
Kkk Oiegon ranch, 20 21c per
dozen.
IliitUir Fancy creamery, 17 J21 !'c
Poultry Fancy hens, 12i(ai.'lc;
mixed chickens, 1112; turkeys, live,
18fiUc per lb.
Fruit Strawberries, $2(2.25 per
crate; apples, table, $1.60(2.50 per
box; apricots, 85c($l per crate;
peaches, 76 85c; plums, fl)cr$l;
Logan berries, $1.25; blackberries,
75c; cherries, 59;8c per lb; prunes,
U0c($i per crate; raHphnrries, $1.7fi.
Fresh Vegetables Corn, ,10 r 40c
per dozen; cucumbers, 40c(t$l; let
tuce, head, loc; parsley, 25c; peas,
vsuk pur n; rainsiies, 10(12(!
dozen; tomatoes, $1.75(T3 per crate;
turnips, $1.25(1.40 p,.r HH(.k. CHrrot
$1,2601.60; beets, $101.25. '
per
l otaUies Oregon fancy, old, $1(V$
1.10; Oregon, new, $1(1.25.
Unef Drossed bulls. l(2c per lb
cows, VAmo. ' '
Mutton Dressed, fancy, Be per lb.
Hops Choice, JU04, li21o per lb.
Wool Eastern1 Oregon, best, llli
23c; valley, 2r27cj mohair, choice.
3l324ciier lb, '
I Nation of Chauffenr.
Th French nation so closely guard
ber suprcmiK'jr lu th motor world that
plans ar being mad so that vry
I'Tench boy will b mads familiar with
th operation and principle u
volved In th construction of th auto
mobile, says th Philadelphia lUcord.
A cours of Instruction Is being arrang
ed for Introduction Into th public
schools. Ther ar a number of Isclinl
cat schools wher th detail of auto
mobile Instruction ar Imparted to
Urns who deslr such knowledge..
It Is said thai no city In th world
give Hie same encouragement to ail
tomolilllng as Psrls. It has been de
cided that all th publlo hospitals shall
hs equipped with self propelled auibu
and a very speedy car has been
ordered to b attached to th municipal
laboratory, where all th bombs round
ou the streets f that city shall he ta
ken for Investigation and destruction,
A Jealous r:iihan,
A large elepliaut. formerly th reu
ler of attrsctluu lu a certain Zoo, found
llaelf supplanted lu public favor by
a new arrival a young camel, This
camel wss th Istcat acquisition, and
very naturally engaged th atteatlon
of visitors.
The elephant for long time show-
d shins of dlsastlsfnctloit, and at lust
his Jealousy reached point where It
oiust find exprcaalOD. Vt lieu the usual
crowd gathered about lb camel me
elephant prepared fur action, lie filled
lila trunk with water, ami witu iin
llberat aim dlsehsrgcd the water sll
aver the peopl who stood looking at
th baby camel.
Different Vlw of It.
(Nelll Munson Itolman In "Success
Msgasln. )
What I th secret of success?"
saked ths magasin.
'1X writ," said th pen.
"11 progreesiv," said th sue lire
pack.
'lie exact and on time, ' sain inv
rk.
'lie careful not to break your word,"
id th typewriter.
"Don't b afraid lo atiik when you
llnd your match," aald th lamp.
"Push and pull," aald th dour.
"Stand firm anil nnyleldlng," said
ih flagstaff.
"Don't rhsnga nu very wind thsl
blows," said th wathr van.
'Never become dull and rusty," said
th ho.
"Climb steadily up," said th hill.
"Keep bright and don't mlud the
londs," said th sun.
"Cultlval a caim exterior, but tie
ready for emergencirt," laid tli inno-
ent flower: "even I always carry s
plsiil."
Just Discrimination In Railwsy Rsts.
All railroad men qualified to prk
on the subject In a responsible way sre
likely to sgree with President r'amuel
Spencer of the Southern railway when
lie says: "There is no division of
opinion ss lo the deairsbility of stop.
ping all secret or unjustly discrimina
tory device and practices of whatso
ever character."
Mr. Spencer, In speaking of "unjust
ly discriminatory" rale arid dovlcr.
mskes a distinction which is at one
apparent to common senas, There may
lie discrimination In freight rate which
s lust, reaaonabl and Imperatively re
quired by th complex commercial and
geographical conditions with which ri
pert rate maker have to deal. To abol
ish such open and honest diacrlmlna-
lion might paralyse ths Industrie of
cities, state and whol sections of our
nstional territory.
This distinction between lust end
unjust discrimination is clearly rrrog.
nited In the conclusions ol the interna
tional Railway congress, published yes
terday: '-TarlfTi ihftttM faS haaa-1 onflma.-ta! m.Ih
cll. lakint inliiaooaunt II n lal ro
itoni whun Laar ut-tui ih romaiaretal valun
l Iba rt,rt rpiwla't With lha raar
Hon I' ai '!. unad I rht,l iihni an I
trart ili.srlmlnan, d u, ail i,ll,r
bir Ilka ciintliuoiia I' ai.klni ul rale ah, m l
i lar aa polt,; hara a 1 1 ha U.ilrlir nam.-
rr lu iMrmlt U dviii.inanl or th i.rfc
ami lo prmlut-a lha '!'( raanlia lu tks uuti
Ik aul la tl rallrua-lt Iharoartraa."
Th prearnt proposal I, aa Mr.
Wslker D. llinn. of Louisville, shows.)
in his remarkable testimony th other
dsy Ixi for th senal committee at
Washington, tocryatallls flnxibl and
justly discriminatory rate Into flxrd
government rate which cannot be
changed except by th Intervention of
some government tribunal, and by this
very process to increase "th temp',
lion to depsrt from the published rata
and the lawful rat In order to inert
some ovepowerlng and urgent commer
cial condition" New York Sun.
Not a rvorll llread.
Ixver of good. Dluln ii.,.. -,i.ik
bar te0 allowed to grow naturally,
will apprwlat ths storv of n.. v...
gllsh peddler who went to a dealer lu
dogs and thus described what tie
wanted:
Ul want a kind of dnv aiwmt
Igh an' so long, nit ki.i r ...
'ourid. an' vet It ain't grv'ound. li
cause '1 trie I a).m-t.. n. ...
-. ,ltl u
Hips 'ere grv'ouud. n' 'i. n i.
shorter, an' ' alu't so allin round the
"o. nut aim 'a a kind ....
Olliul. Do you keen aur-h A.....V
io. replied th 6a ....,
"We
drown 'em."
afl
.lUILlCU Wlin WMa 1
. aT IJslWlAI, -
prcarU, followed by b liVr. .V 1 7 the akin, which gtaAuMf
4rtorittZJ&fM.ittt' di'"'lnir thin, atfeky fluid
llatle to .IXZa.u0" unblc. Wli.le any rart of the body is
ham., (cet, back, .rma. face Kcwm.
"d lee) .re the nirii
often aillicted. The cause of
Eczema ia a too Mid condi
"on of the blood. Th. r-i,.
. .
culation becomes loaded
with fiery, acid polaona that
- jorcea throuRh tho
"isyeua,
(rlanda and pore of the akin which act
c.ti0tth.cau.en.UHVber;,
Wrwi . qiU V M
cia;ud ,0,rfc
curca. case,
Wood. iZWlnlfiZW to '.U p"rlfy'' e(Icct0
ou m lIeage. and any adv ce ,fn..,t ii.rrrn.
IUK SWtFT
Come Now
Own Up
You don't like those grty
hairs, do you? And your hus.
bind certainly doesn't like
them. Then why not try a
bottle of Ayer'a Hair Vigor?
It restores color to gray hair
every time, til the deep, rich
color of early life. And It
cures dandruff also.
I Mfl.lntf sallca thai ( tuir Tla
Tlsat
r ana
a.-lp, M I hata U (aura ar laa
i a iii'M,a pr.irin ilia m
ttt ala
ufi. I ean hrat
na is !l ' aw Jrlw
kars Hull. MlnuaaaulU. An
"r
i 'mm... ii mi an.
Ova,"
-Ma.
ma.
ataaa r !Oa7l!w!!BaaT
la atanaawiarar af
AMAFMILU.
iiu .
cniiwt rectum.
ijers
MALLEABLE IRON STUMP PULLERS
0i4t. tttttrH ititrir laiMniai fmtt
tm in xittrkwi, i Mr f-l u u
U U bulMk M tUm M 4MfttM) lot.aa
ftltti 1-Mb. "-,,-.J-w-.Mfc .
iritumiutN macmini uv CO,
Iowa Improved
SEPARATOR
LOW CAN
Waial High
Skim Cold
or Warm
Milk
S0PrCat
Cream
irs THE
BEST EVER
IN n Ok muxit-g
MITCHELL, LEWIS & STAYER CO.
roam AMI, tmtlMH
turitK afuKAJsg MiilSE
. .. ,rm,-
larllla M a4 aaniar aUaaa I
f f aaa
(T llaty.
"ll.iur rrlcd th tKillrawsn, "rtaj.
Ing psir, thl t tliought you war a
blind mm "
"Ho I am il.lrlnr bmlnaa bunra." th
tlllld ti'Slar rrphr.1, "bill t'ltt utt dvl
Bow." rUllJrliltl l't. ,
CASTOR I A
lor Iafautt nd Children.
Tbs Kind Yon Km Alwajs Bought
Blguatur of Ctbffl&Z&t
Her i'arpuaa.
"M .lh.r (hiuk yuii'll aiaka m fowl
w,t." aaul l!i g.rl'a Inlni.lcJ.
"In,la.tr' r-i-l.o J III girl wlih Ih
Inlarmiiiati jaw, jou Irll j.ur aiulhaf
I'll maka y ni givi liual.aiij." i'bll.
iIV.Ul l.tdgar.
for win hi ami et thara 1 no hetls
enadicin Uian I'lti i Cur fur Coauni
Uoo. J'rtc iSranCa.
A Won' MNgajnallon.
ylUrt (futrlii th whip mrttr
lfariuh lha alrl Me, lYuunr. kuw t
maka ih hora gj faaiar wilttual atrik
lug hlui sl all.
Tummv I'sps. whj dm'l iu spsnk
hs rhllilran that wsjr? -Hilsuw Tim.
afnlBfraalU Rail atra. WlnaiuW llotaln(
yrue lha liaal rawa.tr lonaa lut Ibatr aii4na
during lb walliiiif aluL ,
I'artU'Blar.
"Dnrllitir.' wlilaprn-d tlm anient
suitor, Miuy I pra you witli my man
ly arm?"
"I am from Missouri," replied In
tieaiitirul girl, "and yuu will bav to
show me."
"Hliow you whalV
"liof Hint you In-long to the I'ri'tS
ers' Viilon."
FITS,
-rM,n.nr t-rad. MnfllaariMrnintnaai
artr Ariri-uM.it. u ...-'.. .
l'T,' J'"' 'I'' trial bulla aiallraallaa.
M. Kiii.Ua..kii Ar, )., ri.ill.lHMa, ra.
Too llrep rur II tn.
"Tbr' on tiling esn'l uinlnratinJ
sbnut friiiliiK." aiiij tlia rlty chap wb
hsd coin m,i, with farmrr fur
wrak's board, a lis wslcbrd tli blrd
man turning ih .il.
"Wlm ,o tltatt. j tiling MUrf" ijurrlril
th boiicat Mj srangi-r. ss ha lilt off a
generous hunk nf Imina majn tulKceu.
"I rsn't uiulvralsml," utt I.I tli city
rhsp, "why th ground wss plscrd bot
tom shin up, , th) hn t lis turnad
ovrr wlih plow bofor ih crop vau b
plnutcl,"
tUU HU IUI Kll.
I ImimIi ruu. 1 UIM iU.mi. I
in oia a.,i.r .1, ualata
FLESH
A.J . J
wit
-.m
aa es.il tv v. t t-.-i.
rM.K
FIRE
-ssv.
I .d a J
-V - I
mad. I.. . i.-.k ,i,.
the of my thumb in iHy,, ,, ,.irraa wn it wss
m.8.- f my h.,m1' b""ln. Itching and psil
ns, and for which I rni,i J n.r ...oil
"uiv-h a, vuuiii
i?." ,er,c"r" sdvertiard by you 1 wrote and
B ft a ' vlse of your phvaklans, coiuiucuceJ
8' nd " cured me.
Kan.
J. II. 6ritNC
m
the flcah afW
me. Since the cntue or
S
a rc,nc,,V ,l,r it entcra the
""t the Pi""n throitBli the natural
.!, , , l""""n iiiroiiPiiine nituinn
become. HUI,,U.MP H'nti" yu'm. The akin
become, amooth end soft again, nnd the Kczcm. 1
that have iersintr.iitlw wfnapft to be
tPCCino CO., ATLAMTAs GA