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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 21, 2004)
Oregon Daily Emerald Thursday, October 21, 2004 “He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless, still dead. ” Anonymous ■ In my opinion RYAN MURPHEY MR. SOPHISTICATION Not-so-lofty goals keep fun times coming It took Vanessa almost a full minute to say hello. After repeating herself four times through fits of uncontrollable laughter, I was able to make out the words “Tim,” “Andy” and “adult diapers.” I was on the 1-5 about 30 minutes south of Portland. I was calling to explain why I was going to be nearly two hours late, but after listening to my friend nearly choke to death trying to greet me on the telephone, my attention shifted. It wasn’t who was missing me, but what I was missing. The most absurd and revolting duo that I have ever had the pleasure of calling my friends were at it again, and I was miles away. Tim is an incredible singer, guitarist and songwriter whose financial skills appear to be the direct inverse of his musical abil ities. Andy is a self-proclaimed success story who strives tirelessly toward the goals he has set for himself. These goals are currently to live in Portland and drink a lot. Whether alone or together, intoxicat ed or sober, Tim and Andy are less con cerned with trivial matters such as the fu ture and bills, and instead they focus on topics more relevant to their lifestyles, like Smirnoff Ice and toilet humor. At some point during the previous week, Tim and Andy had purchased a package of Depends, and tonight these full-grown men had decided to spend the evening at Andy’s girlfriend’s house wearing only adult diapers. Over the phone I could hear Andy’s disgusted girl friend berating them for acting like a cou ple of attention-starved children who had nothing better to do than act like asses for the sake of other people’s entertainment. A diaper-clad Andy protested, pointing out that this was not the first time they had worn them that week and that no one other than them knew about it until tonight. Tim further demonstrated their commitment to this new interest by point ing out that he had been using them on a regular basis. “It’s the best thing ever,” he proclaimed. “I had to pee while I was at the movies the other night and I realized, ‘Hey! I don’t have to miss anything now!”’ I have never been to any bars in Port land. Though plans are made every time I am there, the night invariably ends up at a house on 39th Avenue, affectionately known as El Half-ass, engaged in some kind of infantile activity. I just can’t imag ine having more fun at a bar than I do there, or taking these people to any kind of public area. There have been good times spent walk ing around a stranger’s party in hot pants speaking terrible Spanish, breaking into a private pool on the roof of a downtown apartment high-rise, or just having inane MURPHEY, page 6 .. .. . Erik R. Bishoff | Photographer Making a stop in Eugene on his Slacker Uprising tour, political activist and filmmaker Michael Moore took center stage at the Lane County Fairgrounds Monday afternoon. ■ Reporter's notebook Filmmaker turns political figurehead Michael Moore redefines political groups as his popularity skyrockets and people listen BY RYAN NYBURG PULSE EDITOR In an election cycle that has pulled up the dregs of political commentary, Michael Moore stands out from all the other pun dits. He’s a firebrand, a lightning rod for criticism who has polarized an already divided nation into two new groups: those who agree with him and those who do not. Though he had been a figure of note before 2001, Moore’s Oscar speech set him up as a target for a barrage of criticism from conserva tive commentators. He responded with the film “Fahrenheit 9/11,” a scattershot assault on the Bush ad ministration. Since then, the praise and outrage has been strong. The film has garnered awards and ac cusations of inaccuracies and has inspired a few films of its own (“Michael Moore Hates America” is a typical example). Moore is now on tour, doing get-out-the-vote rallies across the country. Last Monday he came to Eugene, bear ing Top Ramen and clean under wear as incentives for slackers to get their asses to the voting booths. 1 made it to the rally at the Lane County Fairgrounds in the white heat of caffeine and jour nalism. Political rallies of any sort just get me high. 1 was rushed im mediately to a press room to MOORE, page 8 ■ Book review Cannabis book a user-friendly marijuana manual Author discusses everything from the history of the 'demon weed' to inventive 'green recipes BY AMY LICHTY PULSE REPORTER Pot. Bud. Weed. Mary Jane. No matter what you call it, cannabis is a controversial drug surrounded by government scrutiny, activists who hate it and stoners who love it. And for that last group of people, “The Cannabis Companion” is a book to treasure. Before 1 read this book, my knowledge of marijuana was very limited. 1 knew you could smoke it and that it was illegal, but that’s about all. Not until 1 read this book did 1 really comprehend the cannabis plant. I can now tell you what good bud looks like, the his tory of the plant and reasons for the laws against it. 1 can tell you about the cultivation of it, the con sumption of it and many different ways to inhale it. “The Cannabis Companion,” written with humor, intrigue and honesty by Steven Wishnia, is an excellent book for those attracted to marijuana, not just as a drug ar a prescription, but as a plant that has changed and shaped our :ulture. This informative guide to pot travels through the origin and history of the plant, from ancient CANNABIS, page 7 Courtesy Steven Wishnia's "The Cannabis Companion” is a well-thought-out guide to marijuana, perfect for amateurs and aficionados alike.
