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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 18, 2004)
Oregon Daily Emerald Monday, October 18, 2004 NEWS STAFF (541)346-5511 IEN SUD1CK EDITOR IN CHIEF STEVEN R. NEUMAN MANAGING EDITOR JARED PABEN AYISUA YAHYA NEWS EDITORS PARKER HOWELL SENIOR NEWS REPORTER MORIAH BALINGIT MEGHANN CUNIFF KARA HANSEN ANTHONY LUCERO CANELA WOOD NEWS REPORTERS CLAYTON JONES SPORTS EDITOR JON ROETMAN SENIOR SPORTS REPORTER STEPHEN MILLER BRIAN SMITH SPORTS REPORTERS RYAN NYBURG PULSE EDITOR NATASHA CH1LINGERIAN SENIOR PULSE REPORTER DAHVI FISCHER AMY LICHTY RYAN MURPHY PULSE REPORTERS DAVID JACERNAUTH EDITORIAL EDITOR JENNIFER MCBRIDE AILEE SLATER CHUCK SLOTHOWER T RAVIS W1LLSE COLUMNISTS ASHLEY GRIFFIN SUPPLEMENT FREELANCE EDITOR GABE BRADLEY NEWS FREELANCE EDITOR/ director of recruitment DANIELLE HICKEY PHOTO EDITOR i AUREN WIMER SLNIOR PHOTOGRAPHER ITM BOBOSKY PHOTOGRAPHER ERIK BISHOFF PART TIME PHOTOGRAPHER BRET FURTWANCLER GRAPHICS EDITOR KIRA PARK DESIGN EDITOR ELLIOTT ASBURY CHARLIE CALDWELL DUSTIN REESE DESIGNERS SHADRA BEESLEY JEANNIE EVERS COPY CHIEFS KIMBERLY BLACKFIELD PAULTHOMPSON SPORTS COPY EDITORS AMANDA EVRARD AMBER LINDROS NEWS COPY EDITORS LINDSAY BURT PULSE COPYEDITOR ADRIENNE NELSON ONLINE EDITOR BUSINESS (541)346-5511 JUDY RIEDL GENERAL MANAGER KATHY CARBONE BUSINESS MANAGER REBECCA CRHCHETT RECEPTIONIST NATHAN FOSTER AIBING GUO ANDREW LEAHY JOHN LONG MALLORY MAHONEY HOLLY MISTELL DISTRIBUTION ADVERTISING (541)346-3712 MELISSA GUST ADVERTISING DIRECTOR TYLER MACK SALES MANAGER ALEX AMES MATT BETZ HERON CAUSCH-DOLEN MEGAN HAMLIN ELISA JESSOP MAEGAN KASER-LEE MIA LEIDELMEYER EMILY PHILBIN SHANNON ROGERS SALES REPRESENTATIVES KELLEE KAUFTHEIL AD ASSISTANT CLASSIFIED (541)3464343 TRINA SHANAMAN CLASSIFIED MANAGER KATY GAGNON SABRINA GOWETTE LESUE STRAIGHT KERI SPANGLER KATIE STRINGER CLASSIFIED ADVERTISING ASSOCIATES PRODUCTION (541)3464381 MICHELE ROSS PRODUCTION MANAGER TARA SLOAN PRODUCTION COORDINATOR JEN CRAMLET KRISTEN DICHARRY CAMERON CAUT ANDY HOLLAND DESIGNERS The Oregon Daily Emerald is pub lished daily Monday through Fn day during the school year by the Oregon Daily Emerald Publishing Co. Inc., at the University of Ore gon, Eugene, Ore. The Emerald operates independently of the University with offices in Suite 300 of the Erb Memorial Union. The Emerald is private property Unlawful removal or use of papers is prosecutable ty law. Bret Furtwancler | Graphics editor ■ In my opinion Gas-guzzlers to the Rescue Top 10 Reasons to Buy a Hummer, Truck or SUV 10. With an array of exciting fea tures, these all-terrain vehicles are sure to be an important amenity for every one of those dangerous, off road excursions you’ll be taking in the suburbs. Wide tread wheels! Under body protection! Stop the car! That lawn over there has a spot that’s not perfectly manicured! Let’s go run down their house with this kick-ass four-wheel drive! 9. When you pull up next to a ride full of sweet honeys and rev your en gine, no one will question the size of your “trombone.” Band members, get yours now. 8. Rest assured, you’re helping to pad the pockets of the Bush Adminis tration through their ties with Hal liburton. Every gallon of gas you pur chase is another reason that this administration will never want to in vestigate the possibility of fuel cells, an extremely dangerous concept. Ve hicles fueled on water that expel noth ing but water? What will roadside birds oil themselves up with if we have only H2O dripping from our tailpipes? 7. The parking game will become ten times more fun once your car can’t squeeze into regular spaces. You won’t be able to fit unless you’re tak ing up one whole spot and just enough of a second to prevent anyone else from parking there. This should be especially fun in those spacious University parking lots; prepare for myriad friendly notes on the dash from helpful students letting you AILEE SLATER FURTHER FROM PERFECTION know exactly where you can shove your vehicle the next time you en counter a parking problem. 6.1 bet you think that you are only eligible for a tax break if you do some scummy Peace Corps work or donate your liver to an alcoholic Taiwanese ferret, right? Wrong! As it turns out, our government is currently in the habit of rewarding blatant disregard for the environment. The Environ mental Protection Agency is encour aged to send complimentary cham pagne with every environmental violation notice. Congratulations! You’ve taken another 50 years off the life of the earth! Please enjoy this lovely brie basket as a token of our appreciation. Buy a car above 6,000 pounds today, claim it as a business expense and prepare for a $25,000 tax break tomorrow. 5. In the competition to beat Euro peans at being complete idiots, the U.S. is already pulling ahead with ab stinence-only education and freedom fries. Don’t let your country lose this lead! Only with improbably and un necessarily large vehicles can we challenge environmentally friendly ‘smart’ cars. We need to come togeth er as a nation and say “No! ” to phan tom parkers. Hey, that one’s open! Wait ... damn! Not another stupid Mini Cooper! 4. The more gas you buy, the more “black gold” the U.S. purchases from international oil mongers. Support de pendence on foreign oil and force American politicians to work harder to find creative excuses for invading the Middle East. We’re definitely not invading to get their oil. We’re attack ing because, uh, Cat Stevens! They’re harboring Cat Stevens! 3. If not purchased from foreign sources, oil can also be drilled in the Alaskan National Wildlife Refuge. Al though some claim that.this may harm a pristine national park, every one knows that the caribou in Alaska love it when we replace their habitats with oil wells; how do you think they stay warm in the wintertime? By snuggling up against oil-filled pipelines, that’s how. Every SUV you purchase is another virtual fireplace for these and other such woodland creatures. 2. When you’re not busy assem bling fake crime scenes involving empty milk cartons, dull knives and ketchup, take a few minutes out of your busy day to deplete the ozone layer by driving around a gas-guz zling monster car. After all, how will we ever be able to reach the pearly gates of heaven if we don’t first de stroy that dense, protective layer of O3 molecules? 1. We all know that there are some times when you just need to fit your second car completely inside your first one. aileeslater@dailyemerald. com ONLINE POLL Is the United States appropriately addressing the war on terrorism? Visit www dailyemerald.com to vote. Ves - The Department of Homeland Security and the USA Patriot Act have made Americans safer. Yes - Imprisoning Saddam Hussein was worth invading Iraq, even if there were no weapons of mass destruction. No - Invading Iraq has drawn the focus away from more important goals in the war on terrorism. No - The United States has done more harm than good and has indirectly helped foster more terrorist activities. Undecided. ' ' ' ' ' EDITORIAL BOARD Jennifer Sudick Editor in Chief David Jagemauth Editorial Editor Steven R. Neuman Managing Editor Gabe Bradley Freelance Editor ■ Editorial Top 10 Presidential Debates Distortions 10. The middle 95 percent, 1 mean. In the final debate Bush said that “Most of the tax cuts went to low- and middle-income Americans.” In truth 53 percent of the tax cuts went to the most afflu ent 10 percent. The bottom 60 percent got 13.7 percent of the tax cut. 9. Going straight to Pell. John Kerry accused the Bush administration of cutting Pell Grants. In truth, Pell Grants increased by 1.3 million under Bush, and spending for Pell Grants increased by nearly 60 percent. The maximum grant has also risen from $3,300 to $4,050. 8. Who’s your Osama? Kerry claimed that Bush said, “1 don’t really think about (bin Laden) very much. I’m not that concerned.” Bush denied making that statement. TVuth is, Bush did make that statement during a March 13, 2002, press conference. 7. Too good to be true. Bush claimed that Kerry said he would have troops out of Iraq in six months. Kerry supporters wish he had said such a thing, but alas, Kerry isn’t Dean. 6. When all else fails, just make stuff up. Kerry said the New York subway had to be closed dur ing the Republican Convention, which was news to the New York Transit Authority. 5. Saddam still hasn’t disarmed. Bush said he abandoned the UN inspections process because “Saddam Hussein had no intention of disarm ing. ” How dare Saddam not disarm the weapons he didn’t have. 4. When all else fails, take credit for what you didn’t do. Bush claimed that he increased spend ing for countering nuclear proliferation “by 35 percent.” Well, he actually proposed a 13-percent cut; Congress is responsible for the increases. Bush did a similar thing with the Department of Homeland Security, which he didn’t support for nine months before (excuse the expression) flip-flopping. 3. Kerry’s questionable accounting. There is one thing the debates taught us about Kerry; He ain’t good with numbers. He claimed the admin istration spent hundreds of millions on bunker busting nuclear weapons. Actually, less than $35 million has been spent but $500 million was set aside for future spending, though it has not been approved by Congress. Kerry said Bush lost our $5.6 trillion surplus. That number is based on a dubious 10-year projected surplus; the actual sur plus in 2000 was $236 billion. 2. Bush’s soul-crushing optimism. All through the debates Bush has refused to say one negative word about the situation in Iraq, except to ac knowledge over and over again that, “It is hard work.” Being that optimistic requires hard work but it also requires a great deal of distortion. Bush mentioned that, “We’re spending recon struction money,” but Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage testified that only $1.2 billion of the $18 billion appropriated had been spent. And billions of dollars earmarked for the recon struction are either unaccounted for or inade quately accounted for, according to a new U.N. audit. Bush had a “read my lips” moment when he declared that elections in Iraq would occur in Jan uary, when even Rumsfeld has suggested that it would be imperfect at best. Speaking of imperfect elections, Bush said that “10 million registered to vote in Afghanistan.” Right, except for the fact that there was widespread multiple registration of voters, according to Human Rights Watch. 1. Cheney screws up worse than Bush! As you heard here first (if you first missed it everywhere else) Cheney mistakenly endorsed www.factcheck.com during the vice presidential debate, a Web site that was transferring people to an anti-Bush Web site. Cheney meant to say www.factcheck.org, which, by the way, is our primary source for this article.
