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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 1, 2004)
■ Editorial And the scripted award goes to... Since presidential politics has be come little more than an over-hyped example of show biz at its most dis reputable, the Emerald would like to present the following awards for ex cellence in political info-tainment to the participants of the first 2004 Pres idential Debate and the media circus that surrounded it: • The Hippest Talking Head Award goes to former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright for using the word “dissed” when discussing foreign poli cy with CNN’s Anderson Cooper. • The Best ‘Up Yours’ Award goes to the television stations that broadcast reaction shots despite provisions in the ridiculously stodgy “Memorandum of Understanding” that directly forbade it. • The Slow News Day Award goes to the overwhelming media coverage of the height of the podiums and the dimensions of the stools. • The Two Snaps Up Award goes to the wardrobe consultant who made sure the candidates wore coor dinated ties. • The Softest Softball Question Award: "What colossal misjudg ments, in your opinion, has President Bush made in these areas?” Jim Lehrer might as well have asked, “Mr. Kerry, would you please level any attack on your opponent?” • The Most Obvious Use of a Word of the Day Calendar Award goes to George W. Bush for, "... That’s why they’re fighting so vociferously.” • The Phrase With the Most Po tential to Be Tlirned Into a Dirty Joke Award goes to John Kerry for using the term “backdoor draft.” • The ‘Is This Thing On?’ Award goes to George W. Bush for telling jokes despite the fact that the audi ence was not allowed to laugh. Among his biggest flops was, “Well, actually, he forgot Poland.” • The ‘Did They Seriously Just Mention Vietnam Again?’ Award goes to John Kerry, who alluded to Vietnam at least five times compared to Bush’s single reference. • The ‘You Graduated from Yale?’ Award goes to Kerry for suggesting we have a “fresh start” in war, to which his constituency would like to see a fresh end. • The ‘Thank Goodness Umms, Ahs and Awkward Pauses Don’t Appear in the Debate Transcripts’ Award most definitely goes to ... uh ... ah ... umm ... Bush. • The Most Rehashing of a Con vention Speech Award was close, but Kerry won by a nose with, “I de fended this country as a young man at war, and I will defend it as presi dent of the United States.” • The Giving “Saturday Night Live” Even More Fodder to Mock Your Image Award is a tie. Kerry oozed an elitist arrogance that made the whole debate seem like an Ad dams Family spin-off series called “Mr. Lurch Goes to Washington,” while Bush looked like a stun-gunned chim panzee that desperately needed to get to a Toastmasters meeting. EDITORIAL BOARD Jennifer Sudick Steven R. Neuman Editor in Chief Managing Editor David Jagernauth Editorial Editor Gabe Bradley Freelance Editor Jared Paben News Editor Jagemauth: Non-votes for Kerry kill the Progressive Party Continued from page 2A to fight for what is right when it could weaken them politically, then what good are they? Who cares what they say or think when they aren’t willing to act on those beliefs or take responsi bility for their horrendous votes? Now the Greens for Kerry — yel low Greens as I call them — have conspired with the Democrats to de stroy the progressive movement from within. I’ve watched the man who best represents my beliefs and values, Ralph Nader, kicked off the ballot in Oregon and unfairly at tacked from the left. When honkey-donkeys blame Nader for what happened in 2000, it is a slap in the face to the black community. Your outrage, progres sive America, is misplaced, as usu al. Part of President George W. Bush’s legacy, win or lose, will be that he set back the progressive movement at least a decade. And what has the progressive move ment gained by falling on its sword? According to Congressional Quarterly, Kerry supported Bush on 65 percent of votes in 2001, in cluding the USA PATRIOT Act, which he still supports. I guess in a vote between 100 percent evil and 65 percent evil, the choice is clear. And although Kerry supported Bush in 72 percent of the votes in 2002, he became significantly less evil after he started running for president. In 2003, he dipped into the 30-percent range. And this year, he basically stopped voting alto gether, participating in only 11 per cent of the votes, as of the middle of July. Unlike A1 Gore, I will not be grudge those who choose to sit this election out or "throw their vote away” on Ralph Nader or any can didate who represents their beliefs. Nor will I waste an ounce of energy praising Kerry. If he is elected, 1 will give a sigh of relief, but I will not join my peers in celebration — 1 will not even crack a smile. Instead, I will start down that long road toward rebuilding the progressive movement, at every step, reminding my peers what a terrible mistake they have made by hitching their wagon to John Kerry’s star. davidjagemmith@ daily emerald, com A new team is joining the Pac-10. OREGOn U.S. Bank is proud to be the Official Bank of the Pac-10. For nearly 100 years, the Pac-10 has proudly earned its title as the “Conference of Champions?” This year, U.S. Bank is proud to join these great teams as the Official Bank of the Pac-10. With over 2,300 branches in 24 states - including 15 branches and 25 ATMs in Eugene/Springfield - it’s easy to find us anywhere Pac-10 fans work, live and play. And, with branches open 7-Days-A-Week with extended hours, free Internet * T 1 Banking with Bill Pay, and 24-hour customer service, you can bank when you want, where you want - before or after the game. 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