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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 21, 2004)
(.LASSWAKH STEMWARE EE.YJ WARE pea< i: si:n i\(;s8i:R\ i.\(} Piia es LL\E\S BEDDLM. ARI I I KM II RE BAR WARE LAMPS B< >ni\S IEWLI.EY ITALIA l()\A I I IAN ALDER A REA AXOLI.A ADAMS DWELL KARTELL ALESSI LI MM STYMIES’!' K.\( )1.I. GIFT REGISTRY DESIGN SERVICES 207 E. 5TH AVE Across from 5th Street Market 686-1*735 Loves Weddings Romantic designs ^ Free Consultation Our Flower Farm Ensures Freshness And Value 5th Street Market 485-4659 24th & Hilyard 485-0985 Oasis Plaza 344-9998 Downtown Athletic Club four unique rooms perfect for weddings, receptions, or rehearsal dinners vaulted ceilings and natural lighting elegant wood accents impeccable service customized menu planning groups from 6 to 200 Eugene’s Finest Athletic, Social and Dining Facility The Downtown Athletic Club’s conference facilities offer an unparalleled setting for your downtown ceremony or reception. Our skilled and flexible staff will customize your menu and service to meet cost requirements. Don’t miss A Touch of Elegance - our annual fall bridal show! visit our conference center on-line at www.downtownac.com 999 Willamette Street Eugene, OR 97401 (541) 484-4011 DCWNlU ATHETC1LB Conference Center Some foreign ceremonies incorporate unique rituals From Japan to Germany, many countries put their own twists on marriage traditions By Reese Lee Freelance Reporter One wedding tradition — "some thing old, something new, some thing borrowed, something blue" — has made its mark on many American weddings. But what about a Claddagh ring, a sposalizio or an akad nikah? Weddings can be as diverse as the traditions present in them. A Claddagh ring is a traditional Irish wedding ring, sposalizio is Italian for wedding ceremony and an akad nikah is a Malay marriage contract. Marriages hold different levels of importance around the world, and in certain places the wedding is often a grand affair. For example, in Malaysia the bride and groom are treated like queen and king for that day, accord ing to http://www.zawaj.com. Prepa rations for the wedding can begin as early as one year prior; the dowry has to be determined and the bride-to-be will undergo a henna application cer emony. The wedding also involves a huge, often noisy, feast for the guests. Similarly, a traditional wedding in Germany can last up to three days: a civil ceremony on the first night, a wedding party on the sec ond and a religious wedding cere mony on the third, according to http://www.world-wedding-tradi tions.net. At some point during the exchange of vows, when the bride and groom are on their knees, the groom might kneel on his future wife's wedding gown to show who's going to be "wearing the pants" in the relationship — when they stand up, the bride might step on the groom's foot to show otherwise. There are myriad cultural wed ding customs, some of which may be extraordinarily romantic or downright exotic. "For really traditional guys, they might propose by saying, 'Would you like to be buried with my fami ly?"' freshman Akiko Nakajima said about Japanese marriage customs. Also, while the traditional color of a bridal gown in America is white, it is a Spanish custom to wear a black wedding dress made of silk, along with an elaborate black lace veil. A customary Northern Cali fornian American Indian bridal gown may be woven in symbolic colors: black for north, blue for south, white for east and yellow or orange for west, according to http://www.weddingdetails.com. According to http://www.Wodd wedding-traditions.net, a girl get ting married in Switzerland wears a wreath or crown that represents her maidenhood. That same wreath is removed and burned after the wed ding, and the bride is considered lucky if it burns quickly. In Cuba, wedding guests participate in a tra ditional money dance; every man who dances with the bride has to pin money to her dress, which is to help the newlyweds with their hon eymoon costs. In a traditional Venezuelan wedding, families of both the bride and groom exchange 13 gold coins, or arras, for prosperi ty and good fortune. World-wedding-traditions.net also states that at one time in the Philippines, where engagement cus toms and nuptials are important, a man had to throw a spear at the front of the house of the girl he wished to marry. That represents her unavailability to other men, and it was in that way that the engagement process began. Weddings the world over are dif ferent, but the one thing all wed dings share is the coming together of people to witness the commit ment of two people to each other. Reese Lee is a freelance reporter for the Emerald. Counselors say reality TV shows harm image of healthy marriage Some marriage counselors claim shows like ‘Newlyweds' and The Bachelor’ exploit the institution of marriage By Emma Juhlin Freelance Reporter A series of reality television marriage shows has swept the nation in the past decade, including soul mate searches by elimination in The Bachelor, televised weddings on "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" and married celebrities in MTVs "Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica," featuring pop stars Nick Lachey and Jes sica Simpson. The exploitation of marriage in reali ty television may be profitable and a source of entertainment for many view ers, but it may have potentially negative influences, according to local marriage counselors and national surveys. Diane Thurlow, a counselor at Healthy Marriage Counseling in Eu gene, said the reality television marriage shows make the institution look like a game "It's just fun and smiles and sex," Thurlow said. Shows like "The Bache lor, " she said, ignore important steps in developing strong relationships. "I think they minimize the vows people make to each other when they get mar ried." Although Thurlow said she believes the shows can be false in their portray als of marriage and courtship, she does not believe they have a direct impart on the marriage rate "Most people want to get married anyway," Thurlow said. "Society doesn't do a good job of showing people that it is difficult and how to be together successfully." She added that couples in their 30s and 40s are most likely to be influenced by the idyllic standards of reality television. Marriage, counselor Marlin Schultz said he is concerned that re ality television programs don't allow enough time for the couple to get to know each other. "One of the highest correlations in a successful relationship is friend ship," Schultz said. According to the National Marriage Project's 2001 "State of Our Unions" report, "The revived enthusiasm for marriage is mostly about romantic relationships and lavish weddings." A show like "Newlyweds," Schultz said, can have a positive or negative influence depending on the kinds of patterns the couple portrays. The couple must model effective behav ior for them to be a good example for viewers, but that would not be good for ratings, he said. "I'd like to see couples who have long-term, stable relationships (in reality television)," Schultz said. Donald Milhauer, another local couples counselor, said some people get caught up in hope rather than love, and when it doesn't work out they move on. "There's an enormous archetypal pool for that falling-in-love state, and people get sucked into that," he said. Milhauer's view is concurrent with statistics from the National Marriage Project. Its 2001 survey found that 88 percent of single men and women ages 20 to 29 believe they have a soul mate they are destined to be with, and 94 percent of never-married singles agree that when they marry, they want their spouse to be their soul mate first and foremost. The same report shows a decrease in the number of satisfied married couples. "Marital satisfaction has declined in recent decades, despite the fact that the easy availability of divorce might be expected to reduce the number of unhappy marriages," ac cording to the "State of Our Unions" report. A U.S. Census report released in February 2002 said nine out of 10 people marry, but 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce. Thurlow advises couples consider ing marriage to know the most im portant qualities in their partner, to learn good conflict resolution and to develop communication skills. "These things can be learned, and divorce is not the solution," she said. Many couples tie the knot despite the daunting statistics, and while some are able to enjoy matrimonial reality television, others, like 23-year old newlywed Lana Crator-Mabry, feel it's a far cry from the real thing. "I would hope no one would be lieve these shows and think that is how marriage is," Crator-Mabry said. "Marriage is a strong bond be tween two people that love each oth er. Marriage is full of commitments and sacrifices that bring friendship, passion and adventure. Reality shows don't portray that." Emma Juhlin is a freelance reporter for the Emerald. Sports Illustrated on campus Every Thursday only in the Oregon Daily Emerald.
