(.LASSWAKH STEMWARE EE.YJ WARE
pea< i: si:n i\(;s8i:R\ i.\(} Piia es
LL\E\S BEDDLM. ARI I I KM II RE
BAR WARE LAMPS B< >ni\S IEWLI.EY
ITALIA l()\A I I IAN ALDER A REA
AXOLI.A ADAMS DWELL KARTELL
ALESSI LI MM STYMIES’!' K.\( )1.I.
GIFT REGISTRY
DESIGN SERVICES
207 E. 5TH AVE
Across from
5th Street Market
686-1*735
Loves Weddings
Romantic designs ^ Free Consultation
Our Flower Farm Ensures Freshness And Value
5th Street Market
485-4659
24th & Hilyard
485-0985
Oasis Plaza
344-9998
Downtown Athletic Club
four unique rooms perfect for weddings,
receptions, or rehearsal dinners
vaulted ceilings and natural lighting
elegant wood accents
impeccable service
customized menu planning
groups from 6 to 200
Eugene’s Finest Athletic, Social and Dining Facility
The Downtown Athletic Club’s conference facilities
offer an unparalleled setting for your downtown
ceremony or reception. Our skilled and flexible staff
will customize your menu and service to meet cost
requirements.
Don’t miss A Touch of Elegance -
our annual fall bridal show!
visit our conference center on-line at
www.downtownac.com
999 Willamette Street Eugene, OR 97401 (541) 484-4011
DCWNlU
ATHETC1LB
Conference Center
Some foreign ceremonies
incorporate unique rituals
From Japan to Germany,
many countries put their own
twists on marriage traditions
By Reese Lee
Freelance Reporter
One wedding tradition — "some
thing old, something new, some
thing borrowed, something blue"
— has made its mark on many
American weddings. But what
about a Claddagh ring, a sposalizio
or an akad nikah? Weddings can be
as diverse as the traditions present
in them.
A Claddagh ring is a traditional Irish
wedding ring, sposalizio is Italian for
wedding ceremony and an akad nikah
is a Malay marriage contract.
Marriages hold different levels of
importance around the world, and in
certain places the wedding is often a
grand affair. For example, in Malaysia
the bride and groom are treated like
queen and king for that day, accord
ing to http://www.zawaj.com. Prepa
rations for the wedding can begin as
early as one year prior; the dowry has
to be determined and the bride-to-be
will undergo a henna application cer
emony. The wedding also involves a
huge, often noisy, feast for the guests.
Similarly, a traditional wedding
in Germany can last up to three
days: a civil ceremony on the first
night, a wedding party on the sec
ond and a religious wedding cere
mony on the third, according to
http://www.world-wedding-tradi
tions.net. At some point during the
exchange of vows, when the bride
and groom are on their knees, the
groom might kneel on his future
wife's wedding gown to show who's
going to be "wearing the pants" in
the relationship — when they stand
up, the bride might step on the
groom's foot to show otherwise.
There are myriad cultural wed
ding customs, some of which may
be extraordinarily romantic or
downright exotic.
"For really traditional guys, they
might propose by saying, 'Would
you like to be buried with my fami
ly?"' freshman Akiko Nakajima said
about Japanese marriage customs.
Also, while the traditional color
of a bridal gown in America is
white, it is a Spanish custom to wear
a black wedding dress made of silk,
along with an elaborate black lace
veil. A customary Northern Cali
fornian American Indian bridal
gown may be woven in symbolic
colors: black for north, blue for
south, white for east and yellow or
orange for west, according to
http://www.weddingdetails.com.
According to http://www.Wodd
wedding-traditions.net, a girl get
ting married in Switzerland wears a
wreath or crown that represents her
maidenhood. That same wreath is
removed and burned after the wed
ding, and the bride is considered
lucky if it burns quickly. In Cuba,
wedding guests participate in a tra
ditional money dance; every man
who dances with the bride has to
pin money to her dress, which is to
help the newlyweds with their hon
eymoon costs. In a traditional
Venezuelan wedding, families of
both the bride and groom exchange
13 gold coins, or arras, for prosperi
ty and good fortune.
World-wedding-traditions.net
also states that at one time in the
Philippines, where engagement cus
toms and nuptials are important, a
man had to throw a spear at the
front of the house of the girl he
wished to marry. That represents her
unavailability to other men, and it
was in that way that the engagement
process began.
Weddings the world over are dif
ferent, but the one thing all wed
dings share is the coming together
of people to witness the commit
ment of two people to each other.
Reese Lee is a freelance reporter
for the Emerald.
Counselors say reality TV shows
harm image of healthy marriage
Some marriage counselors
claim shows like ‘Newlyweds'
and The Bachelor’ exploit
the institution of marriage
By Emma Juhlin
Freelance Reporter
A series of reality television marriage
shows has swept the nation in the past
decade, including soul mate searches by
elimination in The Bachelor, televised
weddings on "Who Wants to Marry a
Millionaire?" and married celebrities in
MTVs "Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica,"
featuring pop stars Nick Lachey and Jes
sica Simpson.
The exploitation of marriage in reali
ty television may be profitable and a
source of entertainment for many view
ers, but it may have potentially negative
influences, according to local marriage
counselors and national surveys.
Diane Thurlow, a counselor at
Healthy Marriage Counseling in Eu
gene, said the reality television marriage
shows make the institution look like a
game
"It's just fun and smiles and sex,"
Thurlow said. Shows like "The Bache
lor, " she said, ignore important steps in
developing strong relationships. "I
think they minimize the vows people
make to each other when they get mar
ried."
Although Thurlow said she believes
the shows can be false in their portray
als of marriage and courtship, she does
not believe they have a direct impart on
the marriage rate
"Most people want to get married
anyway," Thurlow said. "Society
doesn't do a good job of showing
people that it is difficult and how to
be together successfully." She added
that couples in their 30s and 40s are
most likely to be influenced by the
idyllic standards of reality television.
Marriage, counselor Marlin
Schultz said he is concerned that re
ality television programs don't allow
enough time for the couple to get to
know each other.
"One of the highest correlations
in a successful relationship is friend
ship," Schultz said. According to the
National Marriage Project's 2001
"State of Our Unions" report, "The
revived enthusiasm for marriage is
mostly about romantic relationships
and lavish weddings."
A show like "Newlyweds," Schultz
said, can have a positive or negative
influence depending on the kinds of
patterns the couple portrays. The
couple must model effective behav
ior for them to be a good example
for viewers, but that would not be
good for ratings, he said.
"I'd like to see couples who have
long-term, stable relationships (in
reality television)," Schultz said.
Donald Milhauer, another local
couples counselor, said some people
get caught up in hope rather than
love, and when it doesn't work out
they move on.
"There's an enormous archetypal
pool for that falling-in-love state, and
people get sucked into that," he said.
Milhauer's view is concurrent with
statistics from the National Marriage
Project. Its 2001 survey found that 88
percent of single men and women
ages 20 to 29 believe they have a soul
mate they are destined to be with, and
94 percent of never-married singles
agree that when they marry, they want
their spouse to be their soul mate first
and foremost. The same report shows
a decrease in the number of satisfied
married couples.
"Marital satisfaction has declined
in recent decades, despite the fact
that the easy availability of divorce
might be expected to reduce the
number of unhappy marriages," ac
cording to the "State of Our Unions"
report. A U.S. Census report released
in February 2002 said nine out of 10
people marry, but 50 percent of first
marriages end in divorce.
Thurlow advises couples consider
ing marriage to know the most im
portant qualities in their partner, to
learn good conflict resolution and to
develop communication skills.
"These things can be learned, and
divorce is not the solution," she said.
Many couples tie the knot despite
the daunting statistics, and while
some are able to enjoy matrimonial
reality television, others, like 23-year
old newlywed Lana Crator-Mabry,
feel it's a far cry from the real thing.
"I would hope no one would be
lieve these shows and think that is
how marriage is," Crator-Mabry
said. "Marriage is a strong bond be
tween two people that love each oth
er. Marriage is full of commitments
and sacrifices that bring friendship,
passion and adventure. Reality
shows don't portray that."
Emma Juhlin is a freelance reporter
for the Emerald.
Sports Illustrated
on campus
Every Thursday only in the
Oregon Daily Emerald.