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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 5, 1996)
VIEWPOINTS I Of TOUlALS OPINIONS tCTKRS TO IHt f OitQR TWo April pranks show humor can be hurtful ■ OUR OPINION The jofce was on mmoofies but ft just wasn't funny April Fool#' Day is supposed lo be • time to trick your mom gullible friends into believing something the! isn't true, then kid them because they should've known tattler. But this year, some of the foots in this community were the one* playing the jokes Here on campus, some prominent minority students were recently sent official-looking letters on University letterhead declaring that all federal financial aid based on affirmative action was going lo he discontinued at the University and that a meeting was scheduled for April 1 for students lo voice their concerns. The letter was a forgery and a stupid prank, hut looked real enough lo trick some recipients into showing up to an empty EMU meeting room The most troubling thing about this case is not so much the acts of forgery and deceit involved, although those things am disturbing, Ickc What's really bothersome is the fact dial someone apparently thought this prank was a funny thing lo do The idea of ending affirmative action, controversial as it is, is not what's offensive; it’s the singling out of active minority students for a joke that can only have the effect of making them feel less welcome at the University The message, whether intended or not. is that speaking up when you're a member of minority is an invitation for harassment on this campus Whether the person or people responsible for the letter wan true raciiti or (uat jerks, however. will he impossible to toil unless they're taught — an unlikely possibility at beat For now, it * bawl to taka thia opportunity to remind ourselves that minorities am not just calling wolf whan they *ay discrimination ia atlll a problem in thia community Another dumb joke waa played out aero*# the river, when student* at Springfield High School publiahed an April Foola' edition of the school newapaper. containing a cartoon depiction of (tereotypkally Hispanic looking extraterrestrial* in a low-rider spaceship below a heedline that mad, “Alien gangs surface at SHS." An editorial in the issue also joked that the U S -Mexico border should be mined so illegal immigrants would “explode" upon entering the country. The students responsible for the issue apfummily convinced their adviser to allow their "joke" to go to print. They must've been very eloquent in making their case, because it seem* pretty obviously offensive to ua — a* it did to the 20 or to angry atudenta who demanded a meeting with the principal and the authors of some of the articles in order to resolve the issue. Both of these incidents can only serve to alienate minorities at a time when the University and the community both are struggling lo earn a reputation for honoring diversity. On April 1. the foola came out thia year. And they made us all look had Emerald Bn -Ck*ft» am, tmmrn * MWof *•* Mentm n»<m0t t*m* fcwm •* «M *» t* SaMK «* «*«* kuitMtiai ■&**» 0** <*•*« Nm*x«( £* »» » *> »«|k i«*m Cmim» » —*»» «■ — towwit *w» — t—r<M (mm nan rn wm ammm, —■ •rnam * imt m * *» M Knmi \mm 0 ^T*"“ ****r>*l> ** O—* * *» <—1*» —»'W ww >HW« 1—nnm mmww m> <p«w» (Mil Mt Mil (Mil Mm; L*H-H A OAQANO'A of JMt P(Of>l£ I)*' rut w-+il fuo foK rut fitcttk Watch out for cops, naked men in attics ’ n fortunately the Second Amendment T T' m I pnitm-tit even the right* of a fool to m / hold and boar arm* ■ I __' W Anonymout | Whilst perusing the Emerald a few week* bet k. I •tumbled m to** a very interesting front page «tble dealing with the buct of a methamphetamme leb It all seemed pretty basic — some white trash yahoo trying to play Mr, Science and Dr Feelgood at the Mine time in hi* garage the SWAT team gearing up for an assault on the house. the eventual arrest of the suspect, etc... etc. yada. yada. yada Then I got to the last paragraph It aoem* that the reporter writing the Don had not quite ful filled lu>r inch requirement for the article and *o another little tidbit of information about the bust wa» added It appear* that a certain SWAT team member. Derel V Schultz. abut btmaelf in the foot during the raid Literally Oh. SWAT by the way *tand* for Special Weapon* And Tactic* Yes* tree bob, that wa* one bell of a tat tle St huh* employed And he oven did It with what Mr Roger* would call a very spec sal weapon — a Heckler A Koch MPA. the very tame Weapon that Navy SEAL team* IKt Now tell me this — what kind of jackass goes and ahoots himself in Ihe foot f Some rednet k from Springfield with too many cheap Imert in hi* belly? A wacko from Idaho playing weekend warrior? (>r could it be a meml** of Eugene** elite SWAT team1' Hmmtnmm The police say that the gun went off sodden tally Well even though I don’t have a lifetime itibtM upturn to Gun* A Ammo, I do know that HK» don’t just “go olT accidentally The reason that the military and SWAT team* use UK* is bemuse they don't just go off. They are solid as a brick and perform flawlessly If they didn’t, military strike team* and SWAT team* from small podunk lawns wouldn’t use them Kanibo was probably trying to play cop* and robbers a little too zealously and forgot that when your sneaking and peaking about looking for the bad guy. that you keep your finger mi the outside trigger guard (if the safely * off) and not on the damn trigger, or you get — case in point — a big owie in your foot Great And my hard earned tax dollars went to pay for his hospital bills and for the workman t compensation that I'm sum he ll get for "injur ing" himself on the job Nothing I like better than paying for someone else * stupidity So Schultz sc rewed up. Now he ha* to deal with the pain, ihe suffering, Ihe rehabilitation, the loss of his pride and the asinine comments of some college puke Damn straight he does What if Einstein here hadn’t shot himself in the foot» What if instead his gun had gone off •acci dentally’ and he plugged an innocent bystander COMMENTARY n I i-t'S-H r11 ft] | 1 'I ^^ q H j 11rV ^ or a cop? Al»o remember that he was stomping around a methamphetamine lab. What if a round went off straight into the garage? Meth lain are known to use large amounts ether and other fun chemi cals to make their little goodies And ether isn't especially well known for reacting well to gun fire You see, it tends to explode very easily So now the garage goes boom and all of the oilier chemicals in there go up with it, Those that don't explod« are then scattered all over the sur rounding neighborhood Instant superfund site and cancer mocca, I'm glad that it was just his foot. This loads to the question; How well does the Eugene Police Department train Its SWAT loams? As well as those trained in LA or New York Should they be? The KPD doesn't usually have to go into gang territory where criminals ar* armed to th» teeth No, instead they go after half naked middle aged fat guys hiding unarmed in their attics Well perhaps after Schuhx's little accident' the EPD should reevaluate Its training procedures such as how to keep your finger off the trigger if the safety's off until you are certain that you're going to fire the thing Then them are those who would say that since 1 wasn't in the situation, I don't know what the hell I am talking about. They're right t don't know what it's like to dress up like the cover of Soldier of Fortune and try to flush out an unarmed partially nude coward from the attic that he has lieen cowering in for tlx hours No idea I imagine I'd get to play with all those neat little toy*, dress up in those cool cloth«*s and talk about the danger and the rush we all felt over cheap beer with the boys in a local saloon after it was all over Or perhaps if I had half a brain, my partner and 1 could just dress up in plain clothe* and nail the guy on his way out of the grocery store — **ving me from having to buy myself a new pair of sneaker* Oh. wait a minute! that was already dona a couple weeks ago. The unarmed perpetrator was shot in the back "accidentally" while trying to get away My. my. my, the EPD certainly seem* to be having a lot of "accidents" lately I wonder if a jaywalker will have an unfortu nate accident. And you know. I'll bet that Rod ney King * beating was just an accident' too I certainly hope that someone doesn't "acciden tally" knock on my door at 2 a.m with a big black slick. /e**e / Bohmr-Clancy. a senior majoring in Bio i hemutry. is a columnist for the Emerald E-mail jbclancy&gladston* uormton edit
