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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 18, 1994)
EDITORIAL Weirdness follows hapless Beavers Gan# Green (noun) Death and decay of body tissue, often occurring in a limb, usually following traumatic injury' on the gridiron. Giardia (noun) Cumbersome intestinal infection resulting from drinking water tainted by diseased Heaver droppings (protozoan Pettlbonitis). Hy more definition, the Beavers have nothing to offer this state but a perennial lasing record and a bad case of the runs. On the other hand, the Ducks bring a fear some defense and the ability to consistently post win ning seasons, not to mention thp fact that Duck football players can spell their own names And don’t forget that Oregon State University is the only institution in the nation to offer a dual major In biology and agriculture — so its students can graduate knowing their asses from a hole in the ground. Wo won’t oven go Into that nasty business of that professor in the Animal Husbandry College getting arrested for taking part in those immoral breeding experiments. How can you tell an Oregon State student has an above-average IQ? She transfers to University of Oregon. But such tidbits ignore the very nature of Corv allis and the people who live there We must acknowledge that Corvallis Is unlike anywhere else in America, save for the Ozarks and the bayou c ountry of Southern Louisiana Where olse in Oregon can a man walk into a room and introduce his wife and sister — with those people being the same person? Without Corvallis, we wouldn’t have an overpass to go under 30 minutes into the drive to Portlanti. How do you know you are in Corvallis? • Whon people refer lo (he sixth grade "as my sonior year,” • When only half (he cars on the university presi dent's lawn will start, • When drunken driving is considered a sport, • When the locals believe Blitz Is really a micro-brew ery. • Two words: Possum Casserole. We must question the intelligence of any team that would name itself after a small, water-loving rodent with an ovorbito. Have you hoard the one about the Duck and the Reaver walking through the woods? It seems both simultane ously stepped Into a hunter's trap. The Duck says. "My daddy told that if I ever got caught in a trap to chew my leg off." The Beaver, terrified of pain, tells the Duck he Is insane to maim himself. The Duck shrugs, chews off his log and hops away. When the Duck returned throe days later, the Beaver is still in the trap. "Your daddy is crazy." says the Beaver, "1 done chewed off three of my logs and I'm still stuck.” Kemomher. when in Corvallis, the home of the Beavers, don't drink the water. Wo recommend bringing your own in the form of multiple 12-ounco bottles. CO DUCKS! Oregon Doily Emerald **0 OO* fUClKf O#f GO** Th# (>#pon <* put«*n#*3 dtfy trough f ffs* tdvx* Tu#*d#y #nd Thu’tday !h« t>y lh« Oregon 0*»»y Co . 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Reptai <• Al (.ore with Marion Harry? No. he said he might be open to the idea of a constitutional amendment to allow school prayer Never mind that he's pro posed a government takeover of one seventh of the economy Never mind that he's fumbled foreign policy all over the glolie Those things pale in compari son to an issue the Republicans espoused in their r« ent steam roil. I’ve seen liberals jumping ship to anywhere else besides with the man in the White House They may end up running Mario Cuomo in 1096 if Clinton keeps this up But they shouldn't panic so much. This smells of nothing more than a trial balloon For those of you who don't know, a trial balloon is when politicians "float" an idea into the media to s«o what the response is. If it doesn't play well, they’ll hack-pedal on what they "previously indicated '' If it plays well, they'll float some more. It's classic Sin k Willie — try ing to appear to agree with everyone, even if he hasn't indi cated he held this view before I can see why he would want to support this side of the issue. A survey released in 1993 indicated he'd lie agrvteing with a vast majority of Americans Of 1,500 whites, blacks and His panic* questioned, over 80 per cent said they would lie in favor of allowing voluntary school prayer. That's a big number. Once again, I have to agree with the majority of Americans. Newt Gingrich's push for a constitutional amendment guar anteeing a right to prayer in pub lic school is on target. This generation hasn't exactly flourished since the early 1060s when God was shown the exit door in schools Since 1960, there has been an approximately 400 percent jump in births to unwed women. In 1990, a whopping 26 percent of all births were out of wedlock Compare that to a mere 5.3 per cent of births in I960. Despite the fact that the U S. population has increased 41 per cent since 1960, the rate of vio lent crime has skyrocketed by 500 perron! Culm down. Before you implode, I'm not saying that the absence of school prayer in schools has done all of this, (Everything from sentencing relaxations to the media could Ixe blamed as well. When principles are kicked out of education, things are bound to crumble in some fash ion With no principles to go by, society will slide into the depths of relativism. Standards will become lower as our country disintegrates into a moral waste land. Vet many will say that the problem with a sc hool prayer amendment is that it may not line up with all the religions stu dents mav have. This will discriminate, they contend, against other religions The problem is they forget schools discriminate every dav against other religions. Some religions hold that cer tain races are better than others Are we. as the majority, not going to offend these people’s religions and change the cur riculum? Of course not. And they shouldn’t. The same idea should lx* held when we approach the issue of school prayer. A vast majority think it's fine, so it should be fine to approve a school prayer amendment. Also, most Americans still hold to Judeo-Christian beliefs Surveys show that 9 out of 10 people believe in God, hut because God is not as politically correct as tolerance, we're inclined to forsake the idea. l.et's remember a few things. The House and Senate open each session with a prayer. If the most important legisla tive branches in the country can pray, why can't schools pray? Acknowledging a higher pow er is something our Declaration of Independence felt was impor tant when it said that all men have a Creator Why shouldn’t our schools pray as well? There's no good reason to stop schools from praying. So. for all who are jumping ship because Clinton floated this balloon on school prayer, don’t panic, Clinton will be hack in the fray as soon as he realizes he's offending the only people still willing to vote for him. Hriaii Womack is a columnist for the Emerald. ■ COMMENTARY POLICY I he Oregon Daily Emerald welcomes commentaries from the puhiu; concerning topics of interest to the University commu nity. Commentaries should be between 600 and 800 words, legi ble. signed and the identification of the writer must be verified when the letter is submitted. I he Emerald reserves the right to edit any letter for length or style.
