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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 4, 1994)
Improving your relationship with yourself People can fed bad about themselves for many reasons, but it is suspected that a major factor in the malaise known as low self esteem is the undercover activity of the Inner Cntic The Inner Critic is like a mirror that reflects a distorted picture of ourselves It is that inner voice that criticizes us and speaks about us in a dis paraging way. It makes everything look ugly Most of us are not even aware that it is a voice speaking inside of us because its constant judge ments have been with us since early childhood Its running critical commentary ftx*ls like a natural jxirt of ourselves This Inner Cntic grows with us, absorbing Ifw judgements of the people around us and the expectation* of the society in which we live. The Inner Critic has the ability to cripple people and to keep them unhappy and ineffective. Psychologists Hal and Sidra Stone urge us to envi sion this scenano, in their book, Imhracing Your Inner Cntic. — "let us sav that it is midnight and you have gone to the kitchen and eaten two deli cious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches Once you have finished eating, the Inner Critic really starts to tear you down It tells you how humble you are. what a slob you are It tells you that you have no self-contn>l and never will have self-con trol It tells you that you are a blimp and that it hates you, that it is disgusted by you The litany of your Him can go endlessly, and s<x>n the act of eat ing two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches has become a major enme against humanity " The psychologists continue —"This kind of voice stops all growth. The Inner cntic makes us feel so had about the sandwiches — it so humiliates and shames us — that the Cntic itself becomes the major problem I he issue is r*o longer the meaning of food in our lives and how do we use il and need il to handle stress and anxiety. The issue now is how to handle the attac k of an out-of-control criti cal voice that has turned eating into a major dis ease The- Cntic ts now the problem. Although it is inten-simg to think of w hat life would be without this critical voice, in reality we can never get nd of it. nor would we want to The Cntic can become our ally once we learn to recog nize it arn.1 to handle it The Inner Critic's (unction is to span- us shame and pain. The Inner Critic wants you to he okay It wants you to he loved and to he accepted To make friends with the Inner Cntic, we need to understand that although its actions stem from good intentions, it can go beyond the limits of con structive criticism We need to learn to fight the Inner Critic when it goes on a violent rampage We need to recognize it and iLs motives Matthew McKay and Patrick Tanning, authors of Self Kstccm. recommend that you pay close attention to what the Inner Critic tells you. especially m situa tions of tension a nd stress They suggest an exercise — on the first day, write down the number of times, that you hear the Inner Critic make negative, critical statements about you The next day, write down the com ments themselves in a notebook At the- end of the day, go over the list and write down the function of each negative thought, how it allows you to either feel or do something good or avoid feeling some thing unpleasant This should give you a sense of why the Cntic exists The next thing to do is to talk back to the Critic when it is being harsh The "Howitzer mantras" an- sujy;ested by McKay and Tanning as an effec tive way of talking hack to the Critic They state — "Choose a mantra that helps you feel angry It’s good to get mad Profanity is ,i pcrfivtly healths response to the critic When using the I lowit/er mantras, shout them inside Scream at the Critic " Here are some examples of the mantras This is poison Stop it!", "Screw you, asshole!" You can't permanently turn off the Critic's vitn ol bv calling him names That helps for a while. You are, however, creating a vacuum if you silence the Critic without putting anything in his place You need to replace its voice with a positive aware ness of your own worth McKay and banning state — "Affirming your worth is no easy task Right now you believe that your worth depends on your behavior The truth is that your value is vour con sciousness, your ability to perceive and experience You are a person who is trying to live, and that makes you as worthwhile as every other person who is doing the very same thing " Hal and Sidra Stone state — "give yourself per mission to be ordinary! The need to be special adds immeasurably to the stress in your life We do not mean that you should become careless or satisfied with mediocrity. When you are no longer locused upon amazing others or surpassing them, - you have much more energy available to do your best". Re-evaluation of your strengths and weaknesses might help you in affirming your worth. Mckay and banning recommend making separate lists of your strengths and weaknesses, using very objec tive, nonpejorative language Y'ou should then wnte down strengths that substitute or make up for any weaknesses that you possess Another rec ommendation is a daily reminder, a phrase that you believe in, and that you can use to replace your critical voice. A couple of examples of these daily affirmations are —"I feel pain, 1 love, I try to sur vive, I am a good person" or "1 am doing my best, it's okay " Remember, your Inner Critic can be your friend if you teach it to be one. Be nice to yourself Political Correctness hides discrimination ly M*toGoodbm_ A common description of the University of Oregon is that its an incredibly diverse institution full of open-mind ed students and faculty members being politicallv correct'* is quite nearly a prerequisite to attending the University It would seem that a positive educational and social atmosphere, tree from hate and discrimination, would develop This is not tire case, especially where gay, lesbian, and bisexual issues are con cerned Despite the reputation of the University, there is still considerable room for it to evolve in this area We are fooling ourselves if we believe that due to our elevated status as members ot the academic community we are exempt from hatred and prej udice The mental wellness of indi viduals in the University culture would greatly benefit from further assessment of the Eugene brand of political correctness To understand how hatred and discrimination develop and remain a part of University culture it is impor tant to question whv it exists The root of prejudice can be found in fear Human beings tend to fear what is different because they do not under stand it It is very difficult to sustain genuine prejudice against gays, les bians. or bisexuals if v. e are familiar with someone who has one of these lifestyles But the rtse of the AIDS crisis has quite possibly decreased people's desire to align themselves with the homosexual community due to an increase in fear This increase in fear has been caused by the miscon ception that AIDS is a "gay disease " Fear is not disappearing, even in the realm of scholarly pursuit where stu dents have the opportunity to make conscientious inquiry Identifying fear and ignorance in the University setting is sometimes difficult It is hiding beneath a con cept that is widely accepted and rarely questioned in Fugene. This concept is ' Politically Correct " P C has provided a vehicle for students and faculty to discuss touchy issues without generating the level of awareness and attention that these issues deserve Talking about the issues is not enough The way that the issues are discussed go a long way in demonstrating the true toler ance level of any group on this cam pus The cultivation of a healthy educational environment must extend beyond political correctness to a new level where language is altered and speaking out is acceptable. Awareness of why prejudice exists and how it is cultivated is the begin ning of change. Concrete ways of dealing with hate, which is rooted in fear and ignorance, must be action oriented Students and faculty alike should look beyond the mask of P C. and question the language people use and why they are using it. It is important to bring out the content of incorrect, negative messages and reflect them to the sender of the mes sage Making friends in the gay community is another important method of combating fear and igno rance It is understandable that a gav person may have qualities you don't appreciate, but differentiate between those qualities and their sexual pref erence A gav, lesbian, or bisexual person is no more defined by who they sleep with than a heterosexual person Perhaps the most important strategy for changing the intolerant atmosphere is for each of us to leave our beliefs at home No one has the right to impose their belief system on others When it docs, occur, students and faculty should lx- prepared to speak-out for and support those- indi viduals whose- voices and choices are not respected. Medical funding available for sexual assault survivors During spring 1993 elections, U of O students voted for the development of a Sexual Assault Fund to be used by survivors of sexual assault for medical care at the Student Health Center Beginning Fall 1993. the Student Health Center is able to provide no cost STD testing and treatment for student sur vivors of sexual assault who are unable to pay for the services and/or are unwilling to report the assault incident to their insurance company and others. The testing and treatment will cover the common STDs, including HIV test ing In order for a sexual assault survivor to access funding for STD testing and treatment, they would first make an appointment at the Student Health Center with a physician or nurse practitioner Based on the discussion between the student and the practitioner, a plan of care will be devised and utilization of funds will be outlined. Students will be encouraged to file an Unofficial Report outlining the assault. The tunding has been granted for the "93- u-J academic year only It is hoped that the service will be well utilized by survivors or sexual assault in the effort to address all pieces of healths' recovers It is also hoped that the funding will be made available beyond the schiio! year For more information, contact Annie Dochnahl, Health Educator at the Student Health Center (34t*-272«> or call 346-2770 to make a Health Center appointment.
