Improving your relationship with yourself
People can fed bad about
themselves for many reasons, but
it is suspected that a major factor
in the malaise known as low self
esteem is the undercover activity
of the Inner Cntic The Inner
Critic is like a mirror that reflects
a distorted picture of ourselves It is that inner
voice that criticizes us and speaks about us in a dis
paraging way. It makes everything look ugly
Most of us are not even aware that it is a voice
speaking inside of us because its constant judge
ments have been with us since early childhood Its
running critical commentary ftx*ls like a natural
jxirt of ourselves This Inner Cntic grows with us,
absorbing Ifw judgements of the people around us
and the expectation* of the society in which we
live.
The Inner Critic has the ability to cripple people
and to keep them unhappy and ineffective.
Psychologists Hal and Sidra Stone urge us to envi
sion this scenano, in their book, Imhracing Your
Inner Cntic. — "let us sav that it is midnight and
you have gone to the kitchen and eaten two deli
cious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches Once
you have finished eating, the Inner Critic really
starts to tear you down It tells you how humble
you are. what a slob you are It tells you that you
have no self-contn>l and never will have self-con
trol It tells you that you are a blimp and that it
hates you, that it is disgusted by you The litany of
your Him can go endlessly, and s<x>n the act of eat
ing two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches has
become a major enme against humanity "
The psychologists continue —"This kind of
voice stops all growth. The Inner cntic makes us
feel so had about the sandwiches — it so humiliates
and shames us — that the Cntic itself becomes the
major problem I he issue is r*o longer the meaning
of food in our lives and how do we use il and need
il to handle stress and anxiety. The issue now is
how to handle the attac k of an out-of-control criti
cal voice that has turned eating into a major dis
ease The- Cntic ts now the problem.
Although it is inten-simg to think of w hat life
would be without this critical voice, in reality we
can never get nd of it. nor would we want to The
Cntic can become our ally once we learn to recog
nize it arn.1 to handle it The Inner Critic's (unction
is to span- us shame and pain. The Inner Critic
wants you to he okay It wants you to he loved and
to he accepted
To make friends with the Inner Cntic, we need
to understand that although its actions stem from
good intentions, it can go beyond the limits of con
structive criticism We need to learn to fight the
Inner Critic when it goes on a violent rampage We
need to recognize it and iLs motives Matthew
McKay and Patrick Tanning, authors of Self
Kstccm. recommend that you pay close attention to
what the Inner Critic tells you. especially m situa
tions of tension a nd stress
They suggest an exercise — on the first day,
write down the number of times, that you hear the
Inner Critic make negative, critical statements
about you The next day, write down the com
ments themselves in a notebook At the- end of the
day, go over the list and write down the function of
each negative thought, how it allows you to either
feel or do something good or avoid feeling some
thing unpleasant This should give you a sense of
why the Cntic exists
The next thing to do is to talk back to the Critic
when it is being harsh The "Howitzer mantras"
an- sujy;ested by McKay and Tanning as an effec
tive way of talking hack to the Critic They state —
"Choose a mantra that helps you feel angry It’s
good to get mad Profanity is ,i pcrfivtly healths
response to the critic When using the I lowit/er
mantras, shout them inside Scream at the Critic "
Here are some examples of the mantras This is
poison Stop it!", "Screw you, asshole!"
You can't permanently turn off the Critic's vitn
ol bv calling him names That helps for a while.
You are, however, creating a vacuum if you silence
the Critic without putting anything in his place
You need to replace its voice with a positive aware
ness of your own worth McKay and banning state
— "Affirming your worth is no easy task Right
now you believe that your worth depends on your
behavior The truth is that your value is vour con
sciousness, your ability to perceive and experience
You are a person who is trying to live, and that
makes you as worthwhile as every other person
who is doing the very same thing "
Hal and Sidra Stone state — "give yourself per
mission to be ordinary! The need to be special
adds immeasurably to the stress in your life We
do not mean that you should become careless or
satisfied with mediocrity. When you are no longer
locused upon amazing others or surpassing them, -
you have much more energy available to do your
best".
Re-evaluation of your strengths and weaknesses
might help you in affirming your worth. Mckay
and banning recommend making separate lists of
your strengths and weaknesses, using very objec
tive, nonpejorative language Y'ou should then
wnte down strengths that substitute or make up
for any weaknesses that you possess Another rec
ommendation is a daily reminder, a phrase that
you believe in, and that you can use to replace your
critical voice. A couple of examples of these daily
affirmations are —"I feel pain, 1 love, I try to sur
vive, I am a good person" or "1 am doing my best,
it's okay "
Remember, your Inner Critic can be your friend
if you teach it to be one. Be nice to yourself
Political Correctness hides discrimination
ly M*toGoodbm_
A common
description of the
University of
Oregon is that its
an incredibly
diverse institution
full of open-mind
ed students and
faculty members being politicallv
correct'* is quite nearly a prerequisite
to attending the University It would
seem that a positive educational and
social atmosphere, tree from hate and
discrimination, would develop This
is not tire case, especially where gay,
lesbian, and bisexual issues are con
cerned Despite the reputation of the
University, there is still considerable
room for it to evolve in this area We
are fooling ourselves if we believe
that due to our elevated status as
members ot the academic community
we are exempt from hatred and prej
udice The mental wellness of indi
viduals in the University culture
would greatly benefit from further
assessment of the Eugene brand of
political correctness
To understand how hatred and
discrimination develop and remain a
part of University culture it is impor
tant to question whv it exists The
root of prejudice can be found in fear
Human beings tend to fear what is
different because they do not under
stand it It is very difficult to sustain
genuine prejudice against gays, les
bians. or bisexuals if v. e are familiar
with someone who has one of these
lifestyles But the rtse of the AIDS
crisis has quite possibly decreased
people's desire to align themselves
with the homosexual community due
to an increase in fear This increase in
fear has been caused by the miscon
ception that AIDS is a "gay disease "
Fear is not disappearing, even in the
realm of scholarly pursuit where stu
dents have the opportunity to make
conscientious inquiry
Identifying fear and ignorance in
the University setting is sometimes
difficult It is hiding beneath a con
cept that is widely accepted and
rarely questioned in Fugene. This
concept is ' Politically Correct " P C
has provided a vehicle for students
and faculty to discuss touchy issues
without generating the level of
awareness and attention that these
issues deserve Talking about the
issues is not enough The way that
the issues are discussed go a long
way in demonstrating the true toler
ance level of any group on this cam
pus The cultivation of a healthy
educational environment must
extend beyond political correctness to
a new level where language is altered
and speaking out is acceptable.
Awareness of why prejudice exists
and how it is cultivated is the begin
ning of change. Concrete ways of
dealing with hate, which is rooted in
fear and ignorance, must be action
oriented Students and faculty alike
should look beyond the mask of P C.
and question the language people use
and why they are using it. It is
important to bring out the content of
incorrect, negative messages and
reflect them to the sender of the mes
sage Making friends in the gay
community is another important
method of combating fear and igno
rance It is understandable that a gav
person may have qualities you don't
appreciate, but differentiate between
those qualities and their sexual pref
erence A gav, lesbian, or bisexual
person is no more defined by who
they sleep with than a heterosexual
person Perhaps the most important
strategy for changing the intolerant
atmosphere is for each of us to leave
our beliefs at home No one has the
right to impose their belief system on
others When it docs, occur, students
and faculty should lx- prepared to
speak-out for and support those- indi
viduals whose- voices and choices are
not respected.
Medical funding available
for sexual assault survivors
During spring 1993 elections, U of O students voted for the development of
a Sexual Assault Fund to be used by survivors of sexual assault for medical
care at the Student Health Center Beginning Fall 1993. the Student Health
Center is able to provide no cost STD testing and treatment for student sur
vivors of sexual assault who are unable to pay for the services and/or are
unwilling to report the assault incident to their insurance company and others.
The testing and treatment will cover the common STDs, including HIV test
ing In order for a sexual assault survivor to access funding for STD testing and
treatment, they would first make an appointment at the Student Health Center
with a physician or nurse practitioner Based on the discussion between the
student and the practitioner, a plan of care will be devised and utilization of
funds will be outlined. Students will be encouraged to file an Unofficial Report
outlining the assault.
The tunding has been granted for the "93- u-J academic year only It is
hoped that the service will be well utilized by survivors or sexual assault in the
effort to address all pieces of healths' recovers It is also hoped that the funding
will be made available beyond the schiio! year
For more information, contact Annie Dochnahl, Health Educator at the
Student Health Center (34t*-272«> or call 346-2770 to make a Health Center
appointment.