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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1982)
Thursday, April 1,1982 Track Town, II.S.A. not the Collector'* Edition Signed and Numbered emerald Not Inside Article* not on mstde pages Horton hoars a toot University Defense Secretary Rat Horton has asked the Stateless System of Tired Education for permission to arm campus security officers with rapid-fire machine guns to deter students from selling and using cocaine Story not on Page 1. Kick the habit An Oregon Health Sciences University study has linked hacky sack with sloth, som nambulism, maiodorousness and unemployment Story not on Page 5 Don’t jump Unemployed University professors can find jobs in the private sector with the help of the state Displaced Professors Referral Service Story not on Page 3 Foul Play A series of previously believed unrelated squirrel deaths has spurred a city-wide investiga tion of health food stores that move a high volume of nuts Story not on Page 1. The Pack is back To dissuade University journalism Prof Roy Halverson, a 1957 Wisconsin graduate, from accepting a visiting professorship at the University of Alaska next year, the University is negotiating purchase of the Green Bay Packers to replace the Fight ing Ducks Story not on Page 5 Indifference The FBI has an nounced plans to recruit homo sexuals at the University law school Story not on page 1 Museum baits hook Floundering University art museum attendance and declining revenues have forced director Richard Maudlin to auction the museum's prized Chinese Koi fish Bidding starts at $1 97 a pound Story not on Page 8 Buy a burger - get a check Slump ing food sales have prompted the EMU food service to offer cash rebates on all purchases made from the deli, Skylight and Foun tain Court Cafe Purchases made from vending machines are not included in the offer Story not on page 3 ALSO NOT IN THIS ISSUE Births Bounced Checks Crossword Dear Abtoy Dead and Dying Divorces Engagements Fashion Gardening Horoscope Marriages Nature Peanuts Separations Strategic Metals Terrorism_ Travel V Spring term cancelled University Pres Paul Hohum an nounced the cancellation of spring term at a hastily-called press conference late last night after the Legislature — meeting in secret session to balance an an ticipated $3 billion state deficit — slashed the University budget by $2.39. "This is it I am forced to declare financial exigency," Hohum said “There is simply no fat left to cut. This is devas tating ’’ Hohum, who called the cut "devastat ing” 45 times during the 30-minute press conference, also said, “I would resign as University president if I was forced to resign ” But the exhausted executive bareiy veiled his glee over the new 12-week spring vacation. "Frankly I am looking forward to the time off.” Hohum said he would take a 10-week vacation in Racine, Wise., where former University Pres Nullen Voyd heads the Johnson Foundation. But Hohum denied rumours that he and all 900 faculty members would join Voyd at the Johnson Foundation for 10 times their current salaries. He said it was a "coincidence" that Voyd visited him 6 times last week and he (Hohum) and the entire faculty plan to vacation in Racine. Whetherornotsbe — who refused the chancellor job last month after bored members refused to pay him $1 million a year for the privilege of his presence — said he is reapplying after negotiations fell through with the bored’s last choice, Mexico's Generalissimo Francisco "Bud" Davis, who was Captured last week in a border war with Guatemala. “I had fun telling the state bored to take a leap last time," Whetherornotsbe said. “I think I'll do it again." Whetherornotsbe also suggested cut ting English, languages and "other unresponsive” areas from the University curriculum to allow more room for high tech and business courses. "That's where the future of higher educaiton is. Shakespeare is irrelevant to the chang ing needs of education." New Lord Chancellor candidate Geoerge Whetherornotsbe, said he sees the cut as an opportunity to make the system more responsive to public needs. "Does the public really need three terms? Apparently not.” Prof holds child hostage By Facal T. Furlow Not of ttw Emerald A University professor, despondent over recently announced faculty salary cuts, held his first-born son at gunpoint for several hours early Wednesday morning until Eugene police convinced him to surrender Happy E. Ton, 42, head of the Univer sity government paperwork bureau, held his son, Theodore, 12, hostage in the graciously accommodated den of a quarter-million dollar, turn-of-the-cen tury manor, demanding that University Pres Paul Hohum return faculty salaries to their 1981-82 level Ton is being held at a Lane County corrections facility without bail A Special Weapons and Tactics team from the Eugene police department stormed the College Hill home at 3 a m Wednesday — more than five hours past the hostage's bedtime — after Ton repeatedly refused to release his son until Hohum met his demands "Daddy told me he was taking me to his den to tell me a bedtime story," said the young Ton, 12, known to his friends and family only as the Beav.' “But then he pulls this piece out of his blazer pocket and tells me not to try anything." Tew Ton, Happy’s wife, wearing a pale-blue Nipon evening gown of flowing silk and matching white slippers by Anne Klein, told detectives at the scene that her husband hadn't been himself lately. "He (Happy) said we had to stop sending Theodore - he's 12 now - to his riding lessons He even suggested send ing him to work during the summer so he could help pay for his tuition at Deer field," Mrs Ton told reporters gathered at the palatial Ton home. "I thought he was kidding - but then again, most of his jokes go right over my head." As a Ton domestic servant, who asked to be identified only as “Watson,” served Tatinger champagne and escargot to officials after the drama had ended, Mrs. Ton pleaded for the immediate release of her husband. "He's been terribly worried about our finances lately,” she explained. “He's talked about renting our guest cottage to students, not traveling to St. Thomas after spring term finals, and Not an Emerald photo Happy e. Ton, holding pistol, and his son, Theodora, 12. even cancelling my charge account at Saks." University Pres. Hohum announced at a March faculty senate meeting that all full- and part-time University professors would have to accept a 20 percent salary reduction, or the school would have to close its doors. Contacted at his home Wednesday morning shortly after Ton was ap prehended, Hohum told reporters that the disturbed professor's behavior was "a typical example of an ingrateful state employee who was damn lucky to have a job at all.” During Ton’s arrest, police discovered an undetermined amount of 10-milligram Ativan and Valium tablets hidden under Godiva Chocolates in a Steuban crystal candy dish on the Ton's laboriously carved Baroque period-piece coffee table. When Mrs. Ton could not produce a prescription for the drugs, police confis cated the pills and took her into custody. She is being held on $10,000 bail. Since Theodore, 12, was unable to drive the family's Corniche to the cor rections facility and pay the bail - which he said he could withdraw immediately from his portfolio after a call to his broker, Sol, at Schapiro and Co., Inc., in Manhattan - authorities contacted Happy and Tew Ton's daughter Tippy at Finch College. Undisguisedly disappointed that she would have to cancel her appearance at a sophomore class ski trip to Mt. Snow, N.H., on Friday, Miss Ton said she would leave the New York finishing school immediately for the West Coast to free her imprisoned mother. "I can't believe Daddy would pull a gun on the Beav," Miss Ton said. "What I can't handle is that she was stupid enough to leave the pills out where the cops would have to trip over them. "I mean really. For sure.” Authorities anticipate her arrival, in what Miss Ton described only as a "bit chin’ red Ferrari,” sometime later this week. Chancellor search re-opened The Stateless Bored of Tired Educa tion announced Wednesday that it is re-opening the search for candidates for Lord High Chancellor. The announcement came shortly after negotiations fell through with the bored's last choice, Mexico’s Generalissimo Francisco “Bud” Davis, who was cap tured last week in a border war with Guatemala. Not the Emerald has ascertained the names of the four leading candidates. They are: retired Army Gen. D.E. Bauche, the candidate from the rightist j Moral-Military Party; unemployed ■ Springfield carpenter Ohm Ontherange from the Samurai Organo-Buddhist Coalition; Mother Superior Faith Adorya, candidate from the radical Books, Bed and Board Party. The fourth candidate and apparent frontrunner is Don Angelico Frangelico Brutisti, former commissar of education and public safety in Chicago under the long-time regime of the late Harvard educated Mayor Richard Yalie. Brutisti, contacted at his Miami-area home, said he was "very intrested (sic)" Continued on Pago 3
