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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1982)
Campus Republicans, Democrats unite Not an Emarald photo University Democrat* President Quiche Frohnmayer (left) and College Republicans Chairman Goliath Wryandour (ultra-right) try to look non chalant after announcing the merger of their groups Monday. Raging administration officials were cautious in their reaction to the recent merger of the University Democrats and College Republicans. Secretary Upstate Alexander Keg said “this inexorable conspiratorial modus operandi should not be perceived as exacerbating the enunciation of domes tic homogeneity." When Pres. Ronald Raging was asked to comment on the situation, he said only "I have no prepared remarks, however” before he was hustled away by a band of aides. University Democrats President Quiche Frohnmayer and College Republican Chairman Goliath Wryandour announced the merger at a press conference Monday, proclaiming “a new spirit of compromise and an end to partisanship.” "We got tired of being the tokin' liber als on campus,” Frohnmayer said cheerfully. “We wanted our work to result in something other than more talk. Besides, if you can't beat 'em, join ’em.” Wryandour, said the College Repub licans agreed to the merger in order to revitalize their tired ideas. "The Repub lican Party has been focusing on issues that have been around for years, like the economy and foreign policy. We want to use a more eclectic approach to the political reality in the United States. We want to examine issues like windfall profits for ticket scalpers.” Wryandour has sent a letter explaining the merger to President Raging and College Republican mentor Rarely Falls well. He said there have been threats to cut off funding for the group, and that the group may be in for some tough times. "We may be in for some tough times,” he said. Chancellor Search Continued from Pago 1 Faith Adorya Don Brutlstl Gan. D.E. Baucha Ohm Ontherange Not Emerald Photos in the job, and was buying a new tie for the upcoming interview with the bored in Portland Ed Hurts, bored president, said he was delighted to have found such qualified candidates at such reasonable prices Hurts said he was glad the bored did not reach an agreement with Davis, whom he described as an “arrogant, sunny beach ” Bauche. 80, served in the Army Eire Corps for 27 years before being dis charged for mispronouncing “Faith an' begorah to ya' your worshipfulness ” He has been active in education since 1977 in several unsuccessful attempts to get Catch-22 banned from local libraries Adorya's philosophy is similar to Bauche She is a long-time advocate of the "Three R’s" method of teaching which emphasizes a repetitive regimen of rabbit-punches as a way to enforce discipline in rowdy classrooms Ontherange, a 35-year old whose favorite building material is sheet bricks, is running on the platform that tired education in this state needs to be rein forced "We need to shore up the structure of tired education to lay a foundation for youth in this state, and tear down old programs while putting a floor on budget cuts and a ceiling on faculty pay in creases,” he said. Ontherange is best known for his role in constructing the coalition that lead to the building of Animal House, the rehabilitation center for household pets suffering from drug abuse. He does not wear ties. The Lord Chancellor is responsible for overseeing activities at all eight colleges and universities in the Stateless System of Tired Education He receives a salary of $75,000, use of a luxurious three-room residence close to the railroad tracks and a state moped. Only the governor, secretary of state, state treasurere, speaker of the house, senate president, state department heads and 357 janitors and stockroom clerks in the Executive Department receive higher salaries. The chancellor’s job is often used as a political diving board. Former chancel lors include such political falling stars as Slain County Commissioners Jerry "Marijuana" Bust and archie-rivals Reg gie Weinstein, and perennial presidential hopeful Harold Stassens. g Ronnie Reagan sez... « “If you’ve seen one redwood g you've seen ’em all”, so ** DON’T Recycle | this * 1 paper GOOD ROCK... over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over... . . . tune in next week for our new song!
