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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 4, 1982)
emerald platform News that’s fit? Sure this newspaper game gets to me, especially when I get hate mail from the outraged, the envious, and the just plain stupid Granted, in the haste of a daily deadline the editorials and columns aren’t always as well written as I would prefer. If journalism abides the axiom ‘literature in a hurry" then, deadline editorials are occasionally opinions shot from the hip cort fernald sidelong glances Don’t tell anybody, but sometimes I shoot wide of the mark Those editorials are distressing to see when the shouting is forgotten and the haste to dummy the page and make it to class on time — if only now and again — is yesterday’s headache I usually hide out in the library when an editorial just didn’t turn out quite right. I read Punch, the English humor magazine, and find solace for the misplaced modifiers, editing oversights and nasty letters from journalism and pre-journalism students (very cool people) My favorite is the Country Life section of Punch wherein they print honest-to Allan news items. The woman who can come up with the most rat tails will be crowned honorary queen of a southern Philip pine province The queen will win a power tiller, a knapsack sprayer, pesticides, fertilisers and seeds, according the the official Philippine News Agency Rats are killed and their tails dried to serve as votes Dried rat tails are also used as tickets for benefit dances. (The Gulf Mirror) I don’t think the above will replace Beerhunter as a campus sport — though, it's certainly more humane than bunny-bashing. A Zambian security guard has been sentenced to six months’ hard labour for eating a pet monkey belonging to a European whose house he was guard ing The accused. John Mwamba (27), told the court it “was a chance that comes once in a lifetime" for a Bemba man. He added that the little perisher was very tasty (To the Point) Some of the items in Country Life are nearly unintel ligible to American readers because of the urn lan guage barrier British Rail's inter-city catering development officer said: “there will be no overnight changes It will be a gradual process, but restaurant cars are not sacred cows, and as demand falls away, they will be withdrawn We believe there is no point in flogging dead horses." (Yorkshire Post) I know how to flog a dead horse — but what is "skylarking”? We reported last week that Exeter Ladies Football team has been banned from competitions at Pontin’s holiday camps following skylarking in the showers. We are asked to point out that in fact the skylarking took place in a chalet. (Exeter Weekly News) And lest you think only the English are daffy McCuin, the only sister to testify, said they had fasted for three days on coffee and tea when they began to feel “maggots" on their skin. After smearing on the mustard, relish and mayonnaise for relief. McCuin testified, the house became unbearably hot and they dashed outside thinking “judgement day was at hand." (Detroit Free Press) This last item is of some comfort as I write editorials about viciously controversial subjects such as cheese Studies involving Mongolian gerbils suggest that we may have chemicals in our saliva which are attrac tive to other people (General Practitioner) “Barkeep — a draught for me and a Bloody Mary for my friend the gerbil.” Cort Femald is the Emerald's editorial page editor. staff The Oregon Dally Emerald la published Monday through Friday except during final* weak and vacation* by the Oregon Dally Emerald Publlahlng Co. New* 666-5511 Advertising/Butina* s 666-3712 Classifieds 666-4343 Production 666-4381 Paae 2 Editor Sally Hodgkinson Managing Editor Gabriel Boehmer Now* Editor Harry Esteve Assistant News Editor John Healy Photo Editor Bob Baker Graphic* Editor Max DeRungs Editorial Page Editor Corl FernalO Sport* Editor Steve Spatz Assoctmta Sport* Editor Jeff Dickerson Entertainment Editor Matt Meyer Night Editor Harry Esteve Ateoclate Editor*: ASUO Dane Claussen Community Marian Green Feature* Caroline Petnch Higher Education Ann Portal Department* and School* Politic* /Environment Debbie Howlett Ron Hunt General Staff Ad—rlltlng Director Darlene Gore detained Advertising Sally Ol/ar Production Manager Ann Peterson Controller Jean Ownbey _A 4000 ►— . *i>‘ * i -T-- lA*# 'HOt, D'yA UK5 TuaT^ Wc USED To BuiiD LEMONS, NO* WE SEu W’PlES letters Draft advice I didn't know what advice to give my 20-year-old cousin about the draft registration, so I called my good friend Herman Tell him not to worry. Her man assured me T have a plan that will take care of it all "What is it7" I asked "We ll draft the elderly he said "Oh?" Yes By manning our Armed Forces with people over age 65 we ll save our young and provide for our senior Amer icans ' "That’s ingenious," I said "But what about their health?" "Nothing could be better for the aged than the military," Herman said They'll get warm clothes, three meals a day and plenty of exercise " "And what of the risks involved?" I asked "Look at it this way,” he said "They could be having the time of their lives driving M-1 tanks instead of withering away in nursing homes playing shuf fleboard " “I suppose, but modern mili tary technology is awsome," I said. "It could overwhelm them " "Not so," Herman said "Most of the time they'll just look at a screen and let a computer do all the work It wouldn’t be any different for them than watching "Bowling for Dollars " "But," I thought aloud "Wouldn’t World War II veterans feel cheated having to serve twice?” "That's just the point," Her man said. World War II vets would be our first choice After all, those good ol' boys won that one, didn’t they?" "Thanks," Herman said And what's more, with all the elderly in the military, we can finally eliminate Social Security and Medicare which have been forever siphoning away valua ble defense dollars " Pete Kent Graduate, journalism Antagonism I'd like to offer some advice for Sociology professor Al Szymanski so the next time he condemns those opposed to Soviet colonialism he won't receive so much antagonism Though you have a case of hero worship for Joe Stalin you shouldn’t let it show during so called panel discussions After all, many people, including his own daughter, saw Stalin as a bloody barbarian But so what if he killed more people than Hitler? If you say he got things done more efficiently, I’ll take your word that he wasn't such a bad guy The next panel discussion you hold shouldn't allow any audience questions or com ments No discussion at all is better than avoiding every sin gle important question students bring up By avoiding them with 10 minute orations consisting solely of empty rhetoric — as was done Jan, 13 in the Polish Crisis discussion — you gave everyone the impression you don’t want to answer anything which might make the Soviets look bad People tend to like the Polish freedom movement. You shouldn't have let them know you opposed Solidarity You certainly shouldn't have glor ified Soviet efforts to keep these people in line Better yet, to really promote the cause of Soviet expansion ism why don't you quit your high paying teaching position and move to the Soviet Union"7 You could provide the Soviet ci tizens a perfect example of devotion towards the cause They especially need your help since many Russians are ac tually adopting anti-revolution ary tendencies Really' Many are secretly being baptized Christians, asking tor more freedom and listening to Radio Free Europe instead of reading Marx Michael Cross Junior, political science Drifting This is in response to Drift ing'' Jan 22 Emerald regarding the problem” of transients The article begins with a typical scene in which two women are approached by a beggar The man asks for nineteen cents for a cup of coffee As usual, he is ignored and looked down upon The article goes on to present an on-going transient prob lem According to Sgt Don Ellingson of the city's PIG' Team, these transients cause problems for the police and ci tizens alike They tend to com mit violent acts within their own group,'' drink in unlicensed premises, urinate in public, and "make a skid row of the parks " On top of that, each arrest costs taxpayers about $46 Sgt Don Ellingson and we should open our eyes, not to mention our hearts, to the real problem " In the article, these people are referred to as beg gars, transients, wanderers, and hoboes Not once are they referred to as people Nor are they referred to as people in our community Mary Barnaby
