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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (June 5, 1981)
1. When Have All The Airheads Gone? Walking down Alder Street the other day. I saw a guy standing on the sidewalk, staring into a hand mirror I know frat boys are vain, but this was a bit much I asked the guy what he was doing "Trying to find myself," he replied "You re right there," I told him "Thank God," he said, throw ing his mirror down. "I wasn't sure anymore You see. I used to be an Airhead " Ah, yes — I did see The tips of his hair betrayed traces of a perm His faded designer jeans bore cheap patches And as he walked, he scuffed the con crete. trying to slide as if he were still wearing roller skates We walked into a tavern, where he ordered a pitcher of Miller It's not fair," he began "I was a faithful Airhead Discos were my stomping ground I could hold my Pina Coladas as well as anyone And I once talked for three hours straight without saying anything intel ligent "Suddenly things changed — everyone turned Cowboy on me " Poetic justice — those who live by the fad die by the fad, I thought to myself. The Airhead continued "Have you ever tried to chew tobacco without spit dribbling down your chin? Have you ever tried squeezing your toes into those pointy boots7 Have you ever tried to dance after break ing your back on a mechanical bull7" By now he was reduced to tears, and he left to cry on the Captain Fantastic pinball machine I found myself pitying him, strangely enough — all he wanted to do was conform 2. The Party's Over As I sat there, a tall dark figure approached me The hooded cloak he wore hid his face, but I knew who he was because he carried a sickle No, wait — it was a diploma "I have come for you, Mike Lee," the cloaked man said ominously Please, not yet,” I pleaded It's not my time I —I don't want to graduate'" "Don't be so naive — you knew what you were getting into when you took all those classes Economics, history, literature — you knew that if you mainlined college too long, it would all come back to haunt you " He stopped and pulled off his hood, sending shivers up my spine The man was my adviser “It s time to face up to reality, Mike Lee,” he said. “Respecta ble young graduates looking for a job don't go around playing frisbee golf in their shorts." “They don't?” “Not if they want to eat " “But it's not fair," I com plained “I came to college four years ago to escape reality " "And now it’s time to go back," the man said, and he pushed me out the door, into a very thick fog 3. Reality The tavern s doors slammed shut behind me I tried to open them, but they were locked tight I could hear more doors slamming in the distance, like a chorus of wooden angels, all over campus And then, the piercing CLICK! of a giant lock being turned I was alone Through the fog, I now heard the giant thunder of rolling dice, an ethereal game of chance: Nine You will be stuck in an elevator between floors with the woman you later marry. Four. The plane you missed because your car wouldn't start will crash Seven. I'm sorry, sir. You just crapped out. Frightened, I ran through the fog, not knowing where my feet would land I ran and I ran, until ask the sexpert Since my wife's spinal cord injury, her self image — especially m regard to her sex uality — has really suffered Are there any places we can go locally for help or information about sexuality and physical disability? For many disabled women and men, developing a positive self image can be a difficult process One local person who has helped others in this area is Darrell Ackerman Ackerman is currently the director of Con sulting and Personal Services, an organization that provides consulting services to the handicapped This summer Ackerman will be conducting a sexuality workshop for the disa bled Topics will include self esteem, assertiveness, com munication and coping skills, and personal feelings about body image For details on this workshop, you can reach Ackerman at 345-2825 or 343-3315 We also would recommend reading Toward Intimacy.'’ an excellent booklet dealing with sexuality concerns of physically disabled women A library copy of this booklet can r~ T McKenzie Coffee Co. World’* finest cotter Mexican and Swim. Chocolate Karr and fcjtutK I ra* S<ranted Bagels Mayflower Building 782 K 11th 342-2071 be found at the Women's Awareness Center. Room 336 EMU The Center is wheelchair ac cessible from the elevator of the fishbowl Copies of the booklet are also available for purchase from Planned Parenthood This office, how ever, is not wheelchair accessi ble My penis curves slightly to one side during erection, which is cause for concern Can, and should, anything be done about it? There are very few penises that are perfectly straight A slight curve in an erect penis is just a normal variation, and shouldn't be cause for concern A severely curved penis, how ever, could be an indication of either penile chordee, or pey ronies Penile chordee is due to a congenital — present and exist ing from time of birth — anomaly or to a urethral infection, such as gonorrhea Peyronies is an accumulation of plaque in the erectile body of the penis The erectile body then loses its elasticity, and curvature results Peyronies is usually found in older men Unless the curve in your penis affects penetration during inter course, or causes pain for yourself or your partner, there is no need to consult a physician. This column is written by Planned Parenthood, 134 E 13th Ave., Eugene, 344-1611. Please send questions to Suite EMU 300 or to Planned Parenthood Planned Parenth ood is a private, non-profit Unit ed Way agency providing com prehensive family planning ser vices, pregnancy testing, education, information and referral. CASH For Textbooks Mon.-Frl. Smith Family Bookstore 768 E. 13th 1 Bl. From Campus Pti 34S-16S1 VWs-MERCEDES-BMWs DATSUN-TOYOTA-AUDI Reliable service for your foreign car 342-2912 2025 Franklin Blvd Eugene, Oregon the fog suddenly cleared — a shaft of sunlight about 20 yards across And in the center, the most hideous sight ever to sear my eyes: four middle-aged people sitting around a rickety card table, playing Bridge “No!" I screamed 'Nooooooo!" At my feet lay the Airhead’s mirror I picked it up, looked into it, and saw a full-length mirror in the reflection. I turned around. Yes, there it was. Just my size, too The mir ror was clear in the fog; sooth ing, inviting I put my hand out — and it went through Temptation overtook me. I stepped through the mirror, but on my way through, I tripped on the lower bar. The last sound I remember hearing was the mirror crashing behind me Tired of studying for finals? Take a Gantsy’s break. 1605 E. 19th 484-2279 Good for you! Time to get out and get into shape And. with lots of exercise, well balanced meals are essential for good health It's nice to know that a Domino s Pizza is not only very convenient, but also very nutritious We use only the highest quality, 100% natural ingredients Fast, free delivery 1069 East 19 Ave Telephone 683-7325 mm - ■* • %t££'/Y*JU I Reters ;fri$k Coffee 751 I 4th & Taylor, Portland 3rd & Cherry, Seattle
