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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (May 18, 1981)
r-Coupon i Spu*Q *%€Un Spatial* Perms $20.00 reg. $37.50 (haircut not included) Haircut $8.00 J 'reg. $10.00 and $12.00 (long hair slightly more) with this ad Ask for Claire at the Turning Point 2660 Oak, Eugene 343-4813 Expires May 30, 1981 -Coupon The Delicate Birkenstock. One of the nicest things about the new Birkenstocks style is its style. Slip into the same famous contoured tit on the corkbed bottom, and you'll find a graceful new feeling on the top. The delicate Birkenstocks. Designed to give you comfort, with class, Birkenstock. 2nd Floor Atrium 10th& Olive Mon-Sat 11-6 687-0065 Let your feet make a place for themselves. Screen Printing Demonstration Registration required. No charge. Meet professional screen printer Linda Wilson and Hunt Manufacturing representative Francis Ford. Actual screens made while you watch. All phases of screen printing will be discussed. Wednesday, May 20 11 a.m. and 2 p.m. Demonstrations to include: Textile Printing Glass Printing Paper Printing Register downstairs in The UO Bookstore Art Department. UO BOOKSTORE 13th & Kincaid Mon-Fri 8:15-5:30 Sat 10:00-2:00 Sponsored by the UO Bookstore and Hunt Manufacturing Company. Textbooks 686-3520 • General Books 686-3510 • Supplies 686-4331 tom visoky reporter’s notebook Last week Alexander Haic and I were sipping scotch at £ huge table in the war room o the Pentagon. After two hours o talk about the glories of war, asked Al a question that ha: long bothered me. "Al, why are countries like E Salvador and South Africa con sidered strategic by the Unitec States?" Al peered over the rim of hi: glass, a cunning gleam in his eye. ‘‘Risk, young man,” he said. ‘‘Risk!” » revealing a stylized multi colored map of the world - a Risk board. “You see,” Al said. "We're ‘Politicians are lousy hisk players, i say the military roll the dice for a change. ’ “Risk?” Al didn’t answer. Instead he pushed a button in the console on the arm of his leather chair. The massive table top slid away engaged in a deadly game of Risk. There is a board like this in the war room of every major power on earth.” Al thrust a pointer stick at the board. “Look here. These little wooden blocks represent ar mies. These are commie pinko armies,” he said, pointing at a cluster of pink blocks in Russia. “This is the yellow peril,” he said, pointing to a clump of yel low blocks in China. "And these white blocks in North America are us." “But what does all this have to do with El Salvador?” Al’s eyes blazed. “Look!” he said, pointing at a lone pink block in Nicaragua. "The pinkos have a toehold in North America. We get five extra armies a turn for owning every country in North America. “But now we have to forfeit those armies. Also, the pinkos have a chance to break our hold on South America, which is worth two armies a turn to us.” I stared at the board, trying to understand. I pointed to the lone white block in South Africa: “Now why is this important?” “That is important because it’s our toehold in Africa,” Al said. “Africa is worth three ar mies a turn, and if we hold South Africa we can deny the pinkos those extra armies.” “But I don't see any pinks in Africa,” I said. “All I see are blacks.” ”Ah, but those blacks are really pinkos in disguise," Al shot back. “When they take over South Africa, they’ll show their true colors.” I began to see the ominous strategy of the pinks. "How can we stop the com mie pinks?" “Well, first we stop letting the politicians roll the dice. Poli ticians are lousy Risk players. I say let the military roll the dice for a change.” “You’re right,” I agreed. “You’re damn right I’m right! Now here’s what I’d do. I’d sit back and let the pinkos and the yellow peril roll against each other and wipe each other out. Then I'd roll the dice, and we’d clean up whatever’s left.” Al began to gloat. But then he looked worried. “The Philippines,” he sighed. "That’s our biggest problem.” “Why the Philippines?” “The Philippines are the key to Australia. By taking them the pinkos could break our Aus tralian gambit.” “What’s an Australian gambit?" “The Australian gambit is the subtlest and most successful Risk strategy. Whoever owns Australia can sit there and quietly amass armies while everyone else on the board is taking heavy losses. Then those armies can sweep out from down under and conquer the world. “Australia is worth only two armies a turn,” he said. “But, boy, do those little suckers add up." ui, 'ii'i ii mu ii-ii.'Nj' - r iimi'i in uu'in
