r-Coupon
i Spu*Q
*%€Un Spatial*
Perms $20.00
reg. $37.50
(haircut not included)
Haircut $8.00
J 'reg. $10.00 and $12.00
(long hair slightly more)
with this ad
Ask for Claire
at the Turning Point
2660 Oak, Eugene
343-4813
Expires May 30, 1981
-Coupon
The Delicate Birkenstock.
One of the nicest things about the new Birkenstocks style is its style.
Slip into the same famous contoured tit on the corkbed bottom,
and you'll find a graceful new feeling on the top.
The delicate Birkenstocks. Designed to give you comfort, with class,
Birkenstock.
2nd Floor Atrium 10th& Olive
Mon-Sat 11-6 687-0065
Let your feet make
a place for themselves.
Screen Printing
Demonstration
Registration required. No charge.
Meet professional screen printer Linda Wilson and Hunt
Manufacturing representative Francis Ford.
Actual screens made while you watch. All phases of
screen printing will be discussed.
Wednesday,
May 20
11 a.m.
and 2 p.m.
Demonstrations
to include:
Textile Printing
Glass Printing
Paper Printing
Register downstairs in
The UO Bookstore Art
Department.
UO
BOOKSTORE
13th & Kincaid
Mon-Fri 8:15-5:30
Sat 10:00-2:00
Sponsored by the UO
Bookstore and Hunt
Manufacturing Company.
Textbooks 686-3520 • General Books 686-3510 • Supplies 686-4331
tom visoky
reporter’s notebook
Last week Alexander Haic
and I were sipping scotch at £
huge table in the war room o
the Pentagon. After two hours o
talk about the glories of war,
asked Al a question that ha:
long bothered me.
"Al, why are countries like E
Salvador and South Africa con
sidered strategic by the Unitec
States?"
Al peered over the rim of hi:
glass, a cunning gleam in his
eye.
‘‘Risk, young man,” he said.
‘‘Risk!”
»
revealing a stylized multi
colored map of the world - a
Risk board.
“You see,” Al said. "We're
‘Politicians are lousy hisk players, i say
the military roll the dice for a change. ’
“Risk?”
Al didn’t answer. Instead he
pushed a button in the console
on the arm of his leather chair.
The massive table top slid away
engaged in a deadly game of
Risk. There is a board like this in
the war room of every major
power on earth.”
Al thrust a pointer stick at the
board.
“Look here. These little
wooden blocks represent ar
mies. These are commie pinko
armies,” he said, pointing at a
cluster of pink blocks in Russia.
“This is the yellow peril,” he
said, pointing to a clump of yel
low blocks in China. "And these
white blocks in North America
are us."
“But what does all this have to
do with El Salvador?”
Al’s eyes blazed.
“Look!” he said, pointing at a
lone pink block in Nicaragua.
"The pinkos have a toehold in
North America. We get five extra
armies a turn for owning every
country in North America.
“But now we have to forfeit
those armies. Also, the pinkos
have a chance to break our hold
on South America, which is
worth two armies a turn to us.”
I stared at the board, trying to
understand. I pointed to the
lone white block in South Africa:
“Now why is this important?”
“That is important because
it’s our toehold in Africa,” Al
said. “Africa is worth three ar
mies a turn, and if we hold South
Africa we can deny the pinkos
those extra armies.”
“But I don't see any pinks in
Africa,” I said. “All I see are
blacks.”
”Ah, but those blacks are
really pinkos in disguise," Al
shot back. “When they take
over South Africa, they’ll show
their true colors.”
I began to see the ominous
strategy of the pinks.
"How can we stop the com
mie pinks?"
“Well, first we stop letting the
politicians roll the dice. Poli
ticians are lousy Risk players. I
say let the military roll the dice
for a change.”
“You’re right,” I agreed.
“You’re damn right I’m right!
Now here’s what I’d do. I’d sit
back and let the pinkos and the
yellow peril roll against each
other and wipe each other out.
Then I'd roll the dice, and we’d
clean up whatever’s left.”
Al began to gloat. But then he
looked worried.
“The Philippines,” he sighed.
"That’s our biggest problem.”
“Why the Philippines?”
“The Philippines are the key
to Australia. By taking them the
pinkos could break our Aus
tralian gambit.”
“What’s an Australian
gambit?"
“The Australian gambit is the
subtlest and most successful
Risk strategy. Whoever owns
Australia can sit there and
quietly amass armies while
everyone else on the board is
taking heavy losses. Then those
armies can sweep out from
down under and conquer the
world.
“Australia is worth only two
armies a turn,” he said. “But,
boy, do those little suckers add
up."
ui, 'ii'i ii mu ii-ii.'Nj' - r iimi'i in uu'in