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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 21, 1980)
mike lee Cheshire fortnightly DON’T READ THIS COLUMN. Remnants from a Tattered No tebook (Excerpted from "Confes sions of a Former Nerd”) “Wow," I thought to myself as my mind expanded throughout Tingle Dorm — / mean through the walls, man, those paper-thin gaudy colored walls! — anyway, like, I thought — well, “Wow." This could happen to you: “Dear, please answer the door.” "I’m watching the game. You get it.” "Oh, all right . . Fred, come quick! There’s a burning sack on the front porch!" "Damn pranksters — OK, I’m stomping it out." "Oh, Fred — you just trampled the baby kittens inside!” Remember — there is a fine line between comedy and Come join us at our extraordinary Quality Paperback Book Sale. 50%off SET Outstanding current and back list titles America’s leading publishers. KOOBDOOGA BOOKSTORE 651 E. 13th Sale end Jan. 31st ~emu Food Service BAGEL .30 with cream cheese .50 Start your day with a Bagel and Cream Cheese RUNNING SHOE SALE NB • ADIDAS • NIKE • TIGER • ETONIC 20 - 50% OFF ONE WEEK ONLY Example NB 320 NOW 1 9." Etonic 501 NOW 19.95 Limited to stock on hand SUGAR PINE RIDGE 877 E. 13th Page 6 tragedy. Using the above exam ple, please draw it. Mike Visits a Social Con sciousness Cell Somewhere On Campus. “Please — don’t blow-dry your hair tonight," my guide warned me. "It will only make them suspicious.” “Janice?” “Yes, Donald?” “Could you stop doing the dishes and sit down for a minute? It’s important.” “Sure.” “Janice — your mother died.” SPLAT! “I suppose you’re wondering why I hit you with that cream pie, Janice. . .” Funny J-school joke: How long does it take Halverson to put down Metzler? TEHRAN, Iran (AP) — The militants who have held the U S. embassy under siege for three months released all of their hostages today following the discovery that their demands Onto "x’d uke. a smjcru^E /v Ms uez* I mean, that's really neat — a column with no cohesive (ooooooh, three syllables) theme at all. I wouldn't have to, y'know, trouble myself with drawing subtle analogies, or any of that pseudo-intellllllec tual junk. I could just be — weird. Dear Mom and Dad: I take back all that “middle class” stuff. Now can I have my car back? You too can use comedy to take the pressure off of any tense situation! Watch . . . And I’ll write a narrative, a “state of consciousness” thing — balloons, man, it feels bal loons in my feet — yeah, that's it, hahahahahaha hahahaha hahahahaha hahahaha hahaha hahahaha — and a cartoon with Deep Meanings — so what if I don't draw well, I still get five bucks for it — mmmmmm, that spot on the back of my throat feels n-i-i-i-i-i-ce. Lee’s First Law of Creative Pessimism: The results of a given event are inversely proportional to the expectations. J were misinterpreted. “Death to Sha-na-na” is the correct chant, a red-faced Aya tollah Khomeini announced today. The Iranians were an gered by the rock group’s can cellation of a November concert in Tehran. Oh, wow — and that heavy metal Rock music — twang, TWANG — oooh, the bass, my ears, my guts — “vicarious,” what a word — hell, there goes my head through Stan’s rug again — l-l can't keep the pen tip on the page. . . Keller announces candidacv Eugene Mayor Gus Keller is running for re-election. Keller announced his can didacy at a Friday press confer ence. "Four short years don’t allow us the opportunity to complete the goals we set for ourselves,” Keller said. Continued work on Eugene's economic development, city planning, transportation and cooperation between govern ment agencies require him to serve another term, Keller said. “Obviously we are in trouble with local financing,” Keller said. Eugene will ask its citizens to approve a new tax base on May 20, but Keller said he 71 doesn't know what amount that proposed base would be. “It will be an excessive amount by past standards," he said. Keller mentioned a new Spectra-Physics electronics manufacturing plant under construction west of town as an example of economic develop ment. But, said Keller, Eugene will not tender unlimited hospi tality to electronics industries. "Spectra-Physics obviously is the first clean, labor-intensive industry in Eugene,” Keller said. “It is a model we can all be proud of. But, take San Jose, take Boston — they (electronics industries) have destroyed them.” So, he says, Eugene will limit growth of that type of in dustry. The new civic center, said Keller, “offers economic secur ity for the downtown core area. It will be a resource for our own LOW COST SPAY & NEUTER CLINIC at Eugene Animal Hospital, P.C. 1399 Franklin, across from the University ... ,Cal1 342-1178 for appointment or information We charge: p3'6 ,C3n& $2° 00 Male Dog: $2° °0 Female Cat & nfri°p?r^lT3 6 tD°9 (6'7 m° °'d & Up t0 40 lbs- Bi99er or older call for estimate) 3 comPlete exam by a veterinarian, general . . 6 IC' sterile sur9ery, any necessary medication or _a9eS| one night of hospitalization, and suture removal. MnnHau lannsru 01 i QQH local artists and a cultural center for our citizens.” Keller said future planning work includes identifying land to be held for Eugene’s expansion. A possible county development moratorium or failure of the May 20 tax-base election could block the planning process, he said. Keller noted that the T-2000 transportation plan has been approved by Lane County, Eugene and Springfield. He said its implementation will help integrate the area’s travel sys tem. Bicycle, pedestrian, street and freeway traffic are included in the plan, he said. Other concerns Keller men tioned included a “dog control commission that is functioning and doing a good job,” plans for a public golf course and “en couraging EWEB to take a good hard look at geothermal en ergy.”
