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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 21, 1979)
^ steve spotz ^ Beavers have the perfect replacement What s it going to take to deliver Oregon State out of the football doldrums? That's the question that just about everybody who wears a cowboy hat and milks cows in Corvallis has been asking this fall And rightfully so There's no two ways about it — the Beavers are terrible, and even the most staunch fans are starting to get uptight about it With head coach Craig Fertig being fired effective at the end of the season, and athletic director Dee Andros in danger of losing his job. the picture is even more murky A lot of things have gone wrong with the Beavers this year And it's tough to pinpoint just what needs to be done to enable the Beavers to have a little respect for themselves A look back at the season sheds few clues to the problem Billed as a must-win year for Fertig. his team has produced but two victories — both almost too embar rassing to be discussed The Beaver win over Stanford came when a Cardinal kick returner got trapped in his own end zone and was tackled for a safety in the final two minutes The other victory came when Arizona State. 45-0 victors over the Beavers on the field, was forced to forfeit all of its Pac-10 games because of ineligible players used this season Hardly what you d call overpowering wins And this weekend, the Beavers will meet a revived Oregon team, headed by Rich Brooks, a man who applied for the OSU football opening, lost out to Fertig in 1975, and took his act to Eugene where he's been doing the unthinkable — producing a competitive ballclub Brooks might easily have been doing his thing for the Orange and Black except for the choice of Fertig and that fact has alums upset at the man they call ‘‘The Great Pumpkin" — athletic director Andros VWio can the Beavers get to salvage the sinking ship of OSU football? When Fertig arrived in late 1975. it was hailed as a virtual Second Coming for the Beavers Unfortunately Fertig didn't have any miracles in his pockets, and the result looked like the wrath of God incarnate Are there any unemployed messiahs out there that would want the job of raising the dead9 If so. the Beavers have an opening for you. Personally. I think the coaching job over in Corval lis needs a fresh face Definitely not someone connected with the current OSU football program, or maybe not even involved with college football at all Hell, the Beavers could hire someone who doesn t even r know what a football is, as long as they can put some wins on the board to please their long-suffering fans Graph «c by Tom Ettet probably a lot more will Except for one fact The Beavers already have their coach I learned it just last week The info hasn't been leaked to the public yet. but I got the scoop through a secret informant in Corvallis — they ve found the man they think can end the drought of wins that the Beav's have been suffering through My source managed to plant a tape recorder in the office of —-1 r l Dee Andros before the job interviews took place It seems that both Andros and OSU president Robert MacVicar were in the office holding the interviews when the perfect man finally showed up Andros Next applicant, please MacVicar Have a seat here. Billy " Billy O K - Andros Could you please tell us about your work experiences. Billy" Billy Well I make Lite Beer commercials and I won the world championships for the team I used to coach Andros Hey. that's super'" Billy And I also bench guys named Reggie and punch out writers and marshmallow salesmen MacVicar "Oh. I see Well. I'm afraid this job isn't for you. Mr Martin Billy Oh my God. not again Hell. I was fired even before l got the job Even Stembrenner wasn t this bad Andros Well, Mr President, this is the last applicant I hope he s a good one " MacVicar 'So do l Dee But l don t like the looks of this last guy He s got the worst five o'clock shadow I've ever seen, and those beady eyes' Looks like a crook to me Andros Well, we should listen to him at least MacVicar "Come on in and sit down sir Dick Thanks, you can call me Dick ' MacVicar "Well, it looks like you have quite an impres sive record. Dick, except that you resigned from your last job Why was that9 Dick Uh well the job was kind of bugging me, and I wanted a break in the routine Andros "What kind of football experience have you had Dick9 ' Dick Hey I'm glad you asked me l once suggested a play to my friend Ed Williams, the owner of the Wa shington Redskins, for them to use in the Super Bowl against Miami " Andros The pro s. eh9" Dick "Yes, it was real tricky " Andros Well, how did it work out for you9" Dick "Uh actually it lost nine yards " MacVicar Hey sounds like the kind of plays we like here at OSU I think you're the man for the job Mr Nixon, you re hired Dick 'Great' I already have my coaching staff ready to go There s Spiro as defensive line coach. HR as my offensive coordinator " Give thanks. Feets is here. 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