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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1963)
Ducks Place 13th in NCAA Swim Finals A Buck’s Worth By JOHN BUCHNER - Emerald Sports Editor Art Litchman was asking him self Friday, “Why does this have to happen to me?" LITCHMAN, public relations man for the athletics department, was thinking about all those ticket refunds he would have to make because of the cancellation of Saturday’s Far West Relays. Five inches of rain in four days was just too much for the Hay ward Field drainage system. The problem was not peculiar to Hav ward, either Down at Salem, Wil lamette Relays Director Ted Og dahl gave in to the elements five hours before that extravaganza was set to begin. Neither of these meets will be rescheduled this year. COLLEGE baseball diamonds throughout the western half of the state were in no better condi tion. All major games, including the Oregon-Linfield doubleheader. ne\er had a chance to be played The Duek-Wiidcat contest has been rescheduled for Apr. 8. Thanks to Rugby Thanks to the Oregon Rugby Club, local sports were not washed out completely. Coach John Drinkwater's hearty crew was out in force Saturday at the dryest spot in Eugene, Jef ferson Junior High field. Only an inch of H20 was standing on the field and this made a real splash with the fans. THE VICTORIA Reps, an all star team from north of the bor der, provided the competition. The Duck ruggers n*-> er really had a chance (13-3) but it was probably the most entertaining contest of the year with all that ■ ballet", etc. Added Color Too One of the sideline officials, traveling with the 15.C crew, pro vided lots of color, too. Tne plump little chap witn his red sweat pants, ivy cap. cigar, and umbrella, which he waved fran tically most of the time, drew as many chuckles as the entire sloshv contest One little boy ran up to aim and asked if he was the coach The boy started to run '~>nck to (Continued on poge 5) HARRY JEROME Tribute to Star Boyd, Benson Nab All-American Honors Led by All-Americans Dick Boyd and Bob Benson, Oregon’s swimming team finished in a tie for thirteenth place at the NCAA Swimming and Diving Champion ships. concluded Saturday at Hal- i eigh, North Carolina. DON VAN ROSSEN’S Web ! foots piled up five points to be- j come the first Oregon swimming team to place in the NCAA Cham pionships. Boyd garnered three of those: points and All-American recogni-1 tion by finishing fourth in the 400 yard individual medley. His time of 4:27.9 set a new Oregon school and Northern Division record. BENSON PICKED up the other two points and an All-American berth by capturing fifth place in the 500 yard freestyle. His time Women Bowlers In Tourney Action Betty Pary topped the efforts of the Oregon women’s bowling eluin in last weekend’s competi tion in the fifth annual Northwest Womens Intercollegiate bowling tourney. Oregon sent six girls to El i lensburg, Wash., to compete with representatives from 11 other west coast colleges. MISS PARY and Carolyn Jones racked up a 1043 series to take first in doubles action In addi tion. Miss Pary finished fourth in all-events with 1501 Also attending the tournament were Judy McCavic. Fran Daules- j berg. Dee Golick. and Jan Hack ett. Coach for the group is Miss Corlee Munson. JUMBO BAR B Q HOW CONVENIENT . . . THAT LATE NIGHT SNACK WITHOUT EVEN LEAVING YOUR ROOM! Here's your prompt, efficient delivery for service for • Shakes • Burgers • Cold Drinks • Sandwiches. JUST CALL JUMBO BAR B-Q Clip this menu ... Keep it handy in your purse, wallet or in a convenient desk drawer. JUMBO BAR B-Q 1858 East 13th Avenue The Biggest Little Shop on Campus Late Evening Delivery Menu 7:00 P.M.-12:00 P.M. Mon. - Thurs. 4:00 P.M.-12:00 P.M. Sundays Dl 5-9369 Deluxe Burger.55 Cheese Burger Deluxe. 60 (with Relish, Lettuce, Onion, Tomato and Pickle) Burger, Reg.45 Cheese Burger, Reg.55 (with Relish and Lettuce) BAR-B-Q.50 Cold Ham . 55 Cold Cheese .. 30 Cold Tuna ..•.45 Potato Salad .25 Shakes.25 Cold Drinks .1 5 (Coca Cola, Root Beer, Bubble-Up or Orange) Coffee...10 Milk.10 Chips (Bar-B-Q or Plain>.10 Minimum Order .50 to One Address PLEASE, NO SATURDAY SERVICE Dl 5-9369 I of 5:04.6 also established new school and Northern Division records. Boyd and Benson are the first Duck swimmers to make the All American team since Jim Hurd turned the trick in 1941. OREGON TIED with Southern Methodist and Southern Illinois for the thirteenth spot. Southern California won the meet with 81 Ms points and Yale was second with 77. The Webfoots lost any chance for more points when Benson. Boyd, and Boyd's older brother nave failed to quality tor the finals in other events in which they were entered Dick Boyd went into the meet with the second best premeet time in the 1,650 yard freestyle, but he was unable to forge his way into the finals. The young sophomore lead his heat for the first 650 yards, but tired and fin ished eighth with a time of 18:410 That time was nearly twenty seconds over his best for the 66 lap event. DAVE BOYD, a senior, set a (Continued oti paye 5) ’OtaCampas «&. (Author of "l H'iu a Teen-oat Dwarf,” “The Many Loot* of Dobie Gillie,” etc.) MARKING ON THE CURVE—AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT Twonkey Criinscott was a professor. (‘hoate Sigafoo- wa* a sophomore. Twonkey Crimscott wua keen, cold, brilliant. Choate Sigafoos was loose, vague, adenoidal. 1 wonkey ( rim scott l>elieved in diligeuce, discipline, and marking on the curve. Choate Sigafoos believed in elves, Julie London, and thirteen hours of sleep each night. Yet there came a time when Twonkey Crimscott —mentor, sage, and savant — was thoroughly outthought, outfoxed, out maneuvered, outployed, and outwitted by Choate Sigafoos, sophomore. AA It happened one day when Choate was at the library studying for one of Mr. Crimscott’s exams in sociology. Mr. Crimscott's exams were murder—plain, flat murder. They consisted of one hundred questions, each question having four possible answers — A, B, C, and D. You liad to check the correct answer, but the trouble was that the four choices were so subtly shaded, so intricately worded, that students more clever by far than Choate Sigafoos were often set to gibbering. So on this day Choate sat in the library peeing over his sociology text, his tiny brow furrowed with concentration, while all around him sat the other members of the sociology class, every one studying like craxy, every one scared and pasty. Choate looked sadly at their stricken faces. “What a waste!" he thought. “All this youth, this verve, this bounce, chained to musty Itooks in a musty library! We should be out singing and dancing and cutting didoes on the greensward! Instead we are here.” Then, suddenly, an absolute gasser of an idea hit Choate. “Listen!” he shouted to his classmates. “Tomorrow when we take the exam, let's all—every one of us—check Choice 'A' on every question—every one of them.” “Huh?” said his classmates. “Oh, I know that Choice ‘A’ can’t be the right answer to every question,!* said Choate. “But what’s the difference? Mr. Criinscott marks on the curve. If we all check the same an* swers, then we all get the same score, and everybody in the class gets a ‘CV* “Himn," said his classmates. “So why should we knock ourselves out studying?” said Choate. “Let’s get out of here and have a ball!” So they all ran out and lit Marlboro Cigarettes and had a ball, as indeed, you will too when you light a Marlboro, for if there ever was a cigarette to lift the spirit and gladden the heart, to dispel the shades of night, to knot up the ravelled sleeve of care, to put spring in your gait and roses in your cheeks, it is filtered Marlboros—firm and pure and fragrant and filled with rich, natural, golden tobacco. And, what’s more, this darlin’ smoke comes in soft pucks that are actually soft and flip-top boxes that actually flip. Well sir, the next morning the whole class did what Choate said, and, sure enough, they all got ’C’s, and they picked Choate up and carried him on their shoulders and sang “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” and plied him with sweetmeats and Marl boros and girls and put on buttons which said “I DOTE OX CHOATE.” But they were celebrating too soon. Because the next time shrewd old Mr. Crimscott gave them a test, he did not give them one hundred multiple choice questions. He only gave them one question—to wit: write a 30,000 word essay on “Crime Does Not Pay.” “You and your ideas,” they said to Choate and tore off his epaulets and broke his sword and drummed him out of the school. Today, a broken man, he earns a living as a camshaft in loledo. emuMu mim * * • At the top of the curve of smoking pleasure, you’ll find Marlboro Cigarettes, available at every tobacco counter in all fifty States of the Union.
