Ducks Place 13th in NCAA Swim Finals
A Buck’s Worth
By JOHN BUCHNER
- Emerald Sports Editor
Art Litchman was asking him
self Friday, “Why does this have
to happen to me?"
LITCHMAN, public relations
man for the athletics department,
was thinking about all those ticket
refunds he would have to make
because of the cancellation of
Saturday’s Far West Relays.
Five inches of rain in four days
was just too much for the Hay
ward Field drainage system. The
problem was not peculiar to Hav
ward, either Down at Salem, Wil
lamette Relays Director Ted Og
dahl gave in to the elements five
hours before that extravaganza
was set to begin. Neither of these
meets will be rescheduled this
year.
COLLEGE baseball diamonds
throughout the western half of
the state were in no better condi
tion. All major games, including
the Oregon-Linfield doubleheader.
ne\er had a chance to be played
The Duek-Wiidcat contest has
been rescheduled for Apr. 8.
Thanks to Rugby
Thanks to the Oregon Rugby
Club, local sports were not
washed out completely.
Coach John Drinkwater's hearty
crew was out in force Saturday
at the dryest spot in Eugene, Jef
ferson Junior High field. Only an
inch of H20 was standing on the
field and this made a real splash
with the fans.
THE VICTORIA Reps, an all
star team from north of the bor
der, provided the competition.
The Duck ruggers n*-> er really
had a chance (13-3) but it was
probably the most entertaining
contest of the year with all that
■ ballet", etc.
Added Color Too
One of the sideline officials,
traveling with the 15.C crew, pro
vided lots of color, too. Tne
plump little chap witn his red
sweat pants, ivy cap. cigar, and
umbrella, which he waved fran
tically most of the time, drew as
many chuckles as the entire
sloshv contest
One little boy ran up to aim
and asked if he was the coach
The boy started to run '~>nck to
(Continued on poge 5)
HARRY JEROME
Tribute to Star
Boyd, Benson Nab All-American Honors
Led by All-Americans Dick
Boyd and Bob Benson, Oregon’s
swimming team finished in a tie
for thirteenth place at the NCAA
Swimming and Diving Champion
ships. concluded Saturday at Hal- i
eigh, North Carolina.
DON VAN ROSSEN’S Web !
foots piled up five points to be- j
come the first Oregon swimming
team to place in the NCAA Cham
pionships.
Boyd garnered three of those:
points and All-American recogni-1
tion by finishing fourth in the
400 yard individual medley. His
time of 4:27.9 set a new Oregon
school and Northern Division
record.
BENSON PICKED up the other
two points and an All-American
berth by capturing fifth place in
the 500 yard freestyle. His time
Women Bowlers
In Tourney Action
Betty Pary topped the efforts
of the Oregon women’s bowling
eluin in last weekend’s competi
tion in the fifth annual Northwest
Womens Intercollegiate bowling
tourney.
Oregon sent six girls to El i
lensburg, Wash., to compete with
representatives from 11 other
west coast colleges.
MISS PARY and Carolyn Jones
racked up a 1043 series to take
first in doubles action In addi
tion. Miss Pary finished fourth in
all-events with 1501
Also attending the tournament
were Judy McCavic. Fran Daules- j
berg. Dee Golick. and Jan Hack
ett. Coach for the group is Miss
Corlee Munson.
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I
of 5:04.6 also established new
school and Northern Division
records.
Boyd and Benson are the first
Duck swimmers to make the All
American team since Jim Hurd
turned the trick in 1941.
OREGON TIED with Southern
Methodist and Southern Illinois
for the thirteenth spot. Southern
California won the meet with
81 Ms points and Yale was second
with 77.
The Webfoots lost any chance
for more points when Benson.
Boyd, and Boyd's older brother
nave failed to quality tor the
finals in other events in which
they were entered
Dick Boyd went into the meet
with the second best premeet
time in the 1,650 yard freestyle,
but he was unable to forge his
way into the finals. The young
sophomore lead his heat for the
first 650 yards, but tired and fin
ished eighth with a time of
18:410 That time was nearly
twenty seconds over his best for
the 66 lap event.
DAVE BOYD, a senior, set a
(Continued oti paye 5)
’OtaCampas «&.
(Author of "l H'iu a Teen-oat Dwarf,” “The Many
Loot* of Dobie Gillie,” etc.)
MARKING ON THE CURVE—AND WHAT
TO DO ABOUT IT
Twonkey Criinscott was a professor. (‘hoate Sigafoo- wa* a
sophomore. Twonkey Crimscott wua keen, cold, brilliant.
Choate Sigafoos was loose, vague, adenoidal. 1 wonkey ( rim
scott l>elieved in diligeuce, discipline, and marking on the curve.
Choate Sigafoos believed in elves, Julie London, and thirteen
hours of sleep each night.
Yet there came a time when Twonkey Crimscott —mentor,
sage, and savant — was thoroughly outthought, outfoxed, out
maneuvered, outployed, and outwitted by Choate Sigafoos,
sophomore.
AA
It happened one day when Choate was at the library studying
for one of Mr. Crimscott’s exams in sociology. Mr. Crimscott's
exams were murder—plain, flat murder. They consisted of one
hundred questions, each question having four possible answers
— A, B, C, and D. You liad to check the correct answer, but the
trouble was that the four choices were so subtly shaded, so
intricately worded, that students more clever by far than Choate
Sigafoos were often set to gibbering.
So on this day Choate sat in the library peeing over his
sociology text, his tiny brow furrowed with concentration, while
all around him sat the other members of the sociology class,
every one studying like craxy, every one scared and pasty.
Choate looked sadly at their stricken faces. “What a waste!"
he thought. “All this youth, this verve, this bounce, chained to
musty Itooks in a musty library! We should be out singing and
dancing and cutting didoes on the greensward! Instead we
are here.”
Then, suddenly, an absolute gasser of an idea hit Choate.
“Listen!” he shouted to his classmates. “Tomorrow when we
take the exam, let's all—every one of us—check Choice 'A' on
every question—every one of them.”
“Huh?” said his classmates.
“Oh, I know that Choice ‘A’ can’t be the right answer to
every question,!* said Choate. “But what’s the difference? Mr.
Criinscott marks on the curve. If we all check the same an*
swers, then we all get the same score, and everybody in the class
gets a ‘CV*
“Himn," said his classmates.
“So why should we knock ourselves out studying?” said
Choate. “Let’s get out of here and have a ball!”
So they all ran out and lit Marlboro Cigarettes and had a
ball, as indeed, you will too when you light a Marlboro, for if
there ever was a cigarette to lift the spirit and gladden the
heart, to dispel the shades of night, to knot up the ravelled
sleeve of care, to put spring in your gait and roses in your
cheeks, it is filtered Marlboros—firm and pure and fragrant and
filled with rich, natural, golden tobacco. And, what’s more, this
darlin’ smoke comes in soft pucks that are actually soft and
flip-top boxes that actually flip.
Well sir, the next morning the whole class did what Choate
said, and, sure enough, they all got ’C’s, and they picked Choate
up and carried him on their shoulders and sang “For He’s a
Jolly Good Fellow” and plied him with sweetmeats and Marl
boros and girls and put on buttons which said “I DOTE OX
CHOATE.”
But they were celebrating too soon. Because the next time
shrewd old Mr. Crimscott gave them a test, he did not give
them one hundred multiple choice questions. He only gave
them one question—to wit: write a 30,000 word essay on
“Crime Does Not Pay.”
“You and your ideas,” they said to Choate and tore off his
epaulets and broke his sword and drummed him out of the
school. Today, a broken man, he earns a living as a camshaft
in loledo. emuMu mim
* * •
At the top of the curve of smoking pleasure, you’ll find
Marlboro Cigarettes, available at every tobacco counter in
all fifty States of the Union.