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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 29, 1936)
PUBLISHED T!Y THE ASSOCIATED STUDENTS OF THE UNIVERSITY OF OREGON University of Oregon, Eugene, Oregon Hubert W. Lucas, editor Eldon Haberman, manager Clair Johnson, managing editor EDITORIAL OFFICES: Journalism building. Phone 3300— Editor, Local 354 ; News Room anti Managing Editor, 353. BUSINESS OFFICE: McArthur Court. Thone 3300—Local 214. MEMBERS OF MAJOR COLLEGE PUBLICATIONS Represented bv A. I. Norris Hill Co., 155 E. 42nd St., N> York City; 123 \V. Madison St., Chicago; 1004 Find A” Seattle; 1031 S. Broadway, Los Angeles; Call Building, Francisco. New Ave., San The Oregon Daily Emerald will not he responsible for returning unsolocited manuscripts. Public letters should not be more than 300 words in length and should be accompanied by the writer’s signature and address which will be withheld if requested. All communications are subject to the discretion of the editors. Anonymous letters will be disregarded. The Oregon Daily Emerald, official student publication of the University of Oregon. Eugene, published daily during the college year, except Sundays, Mondays, holidays, examination periods all of P~ ember except the first seven days, all of March except the first eight days. Entered as second-class matter at the postofiice, Eugene, Oregon. Subscription rates, $2.50 a year. ‘True Princeton Gentleman” JOHN DUNCAN SPAETH, whose commence ment address will give godspeed to the class of ’36 when it pushes off next month, is by no means a stranger to the campus. The veteran Princeton professor seven times has taught at summer sessions, where his ruddy good-humor has won him a raft of friends. Dr. Spaeth's long suit is his eternally boyish wit, which makes him the kind of teacher that every young professor must aspire to be, and the kind whom every student must long to have. Nothing of the musty academic about him, he did a double-shift at Princeton for 15 years, coaching the varsity crew and professing English. Few men well-qualified as he could he chosen for sending a body of champing young graduates out into the world, for there is in Dr. Spaeth something of the pioneer spirit, a spiirt that has made him dare to undertake a new career, presi dency of the newly opened University of Kansas City, at an age when most men would be thinking of a quiet place in the country. # * * A legend at Princeton, according to Time magazine, is the account of Dr. Spaeth’s parting words to a Princeton crew before it went up against a crack team of Harvard oarsmen, “You will doubtles be beaten," he said. "But winning doesn't mean anything. I don’t care whether you win or not. I just want you to behave like true sportsmen and true Princeton gentlemen." The Princeton crew upset the dope, however, and skimmed in ahead of the Harvard shell. Returning to the boathouse, still deporting themselves like “true Princeton, gentlemen," the victorious crew got somewhat of a jolt to find Coach Spaeth jumping up and down on the dock, roaring: “We beat the--s! We beat the - — -s!” * * * In a letter to Dr. James Gilbert, accepting the commencement invitation, ex-Coach Spaeth insists that Time magazine has maligned him. “My friends know that it is not my custom to speak in blanks!” he cracked. Chafing all year with resentment that holidays should be pared and schedules juggled so that commencement exercises may be held before sum mer vacation, students can now consider the game worth the candle, for the chance of hearing Dun can Spaeth will prove a delightful and illuminating compensation. The appearance of Dr. Spaeth, veteran educa tor, sports enthusiast, good fellow, and “true Princeton gentleman,” is an event for eager antici pation, and one that will not be soon forgotten. Hilarity in Hitlerland \ N edict prohibiting a sense of humor! That should be Hitler’s next move. ’Cause some day 60 million people are going to bust right out laughing in Germany, and Charlie Chaplin will have to hide out in the woodshed. A few weeks ago the head of the German church in Naziland revised the Bible to conform to National Socialist policies. Salient features of the new Bible was a new fifth chapter of Mathew, in which good Nazis were adjured that in case some ignorant persons should slap them on their right cheeks, they should not immediately rise up in wrath, but wait for an apology. Last week a copy of Hitler’s favorite piece of literature, “Mein Kampf," was promised to each birdo and bridegroom, as they left the bridal halter, in Germany. Presumably it will take its place in the embryonic library of the newlyweds, alongside such indispensable works as “What Kvery Young Married Couple Should Konw,” and “Care and Feeding of Babies.” This week Adolph perpetrates- another gem of humor with the order that the popular sausage must henceforth be addressed by only one cogno men, that determined upon by the National Social ist party. No nation can be really united in spirit with a dozen localized names for sausages, says Hitler, so “Frankfurt yellow sausage" becomes extinct in Nazi usage. Smedley Butler, in his recent assembly address on the campus, declared that the most powerful weapon for the prevention of war is a sense of humor. ’ Granted he was in large measure right, what a boon to the rest of the world it would be* if Germans today saw Hitlerism as others see it! And what a brand book of humor could be made out of a compiliation of the orders issued by Hitler since the birth of his dictatorship in 1933! ‘Dinner at Eight’ Will Be May 21-23 New York Critics Hail Play Ah Season’s Best; Lulna Fcrber is Co-author Playing dates for the University theatre production of "Dinner at Eight,” by George S. Kaufman and Edna Ferber, have been set for Thursday, Friday, anti Saturday, May 21, 22, and 23. In "Dinner at Eight" Kaufman, author of many Broadway success es, and Edna Ferbqp, known inter nationally for her powerful novels of American life, have combined their talents to create a scintillat ing and moving' drama. When the play ran in New York it was hailed by critics as the most successful production of the year. Horace W. Robinson, director, has assembled a rust of 21 students from the Guild Hall players and technique of acting class to fill the roles which range from an Italian chauffeur who is quick with a carving knife to Carlotta Vance, a fading beauty of the stage. Un der tlic suave exterior of tire char acters in "Dinner at Eight" seethes a‘ cross section of love, jealousy, greed and ruin. “Dinner at Eight" will be pre sented on the Guild theatre stage in the University administration building. The theatre workshop class will construct the setting de signed by Horace W. Kobinson and act as technical crew for the pro duction. SI n«sy (>tmn (Continued from payc one) with overalls on?” Inquired the disappointed interviewer. “Oli, i lost Al's pin down the drain, and was trying t<> get it back.” She displayed seven rusty fraternity pins, an Kugle scout badge, and a button that said, “War? We s:iy no!'' “Hut t didn't find it, Oh, well," a n d s h e scratched her back philosophically, “He’ll get it at the other end." “I'm here to delve into your his tory," said the reporter important ly, opening his notebook. “Straight A s." announced Slug ay ptotindly. “You see, die pro! and I . . . ” > "Hut I mean your personal his tory',’’ corrected the interviewer. “If you think that isn't personal In exuspe ration, the reporter swung a right viciously, but Slugsy deftly side-stepped, then grabbed his arm, and with prac ticed ease, s\\ uug him over her shoulder across the room. “You don't think I been Al’s girl all these years for nothing do you ?" she said, helping the dazed press representative to his feet, and then knocking hini down again. “Now we’ll get on with it," she smiled, jumping up und down on his head. “What did you want?” An hour later, the reporter, with his head in a sling, silently took note, one eye warily on Slugsy, one on the door, another on his note book, anil the other roving around ns a substitute, in case anything Should take one of his eyes. Slugsy Gunn was born in Gulp ing Gulch, Massachusetts, while her parents were abroad. She at tended the Belcher School for Ad vanced Morons, graduating with honors and several well-known pol iticians; was matriculated into the University from the Topeka Horne for Wayward Girls. "My favorite book is ‘Grimm's Hairy Tales,’ by Aesop," simpers Slugsy, "my favorite music is Mendelberg’s ‘Wedding March,' and itry favorite dish is broken." Master Dance Tryouts May (> Numbers for Program oil May 20 Considered at Praetiee Meet try-outs for the annual recital I of Master Dance will be held Wed nesday, May (!, at 7:30 p. m. in the gymnasium of Gerlinger hall. Mrs. Kaye Knox, director of the re cital, has announced. Persons or groups interested need not be in costume when they present their dance. Members of Master Dance and Mrs. Knox will judge the num bers. A tentative program for the re cital, which will be hold May 20, was considered at the practice last evening. The dances are all orig inated and carried out by the stu dents themselves; nothing is re vived from previous performances j or copied' from other dances, Mrs 1 Knox states. 1 iecnuse appropriate music cannot be found for several of the dunces, special music is be-! iug composed by Mrs. Catherine I Holman, accompanist for t h o group. For the first time in several years, the men's rhythmic class and the women's intramural dancing class will present a number for the recital. Orchises, organization at Oregon State College which corresponds toj Master Dance, is giving a recital May 7 and 8, which members of the local group will probably at tend. i 1936 Freshman Counselors Meet Dean Schwering Explains Principles of System anil Challenges Girls Dean Hazel Schwering spoke to a number of University women yesterday, introducing them to the principles and ideals of frosh counsellors, while Josephine Mc Gilchrist explained the system under which they were to work this coining year. Describing the different attiudes that would be adopted by fresh men, Dean Schwering told how each girl would have the oppor tunity to help bewildered new comers in adjusting themselves to the friendly spirit of the Oregon campus. “It is a challenge,” she said, “to every one of you to see how much influence you can have on them. Be sure to remember to foster the "hello" spirit and also that you are University of Oregon women.” The latter statement was made to impress upon her listeners the importance of the atmosphere they would create by their letters this summer. Under the new plan for this year, freshmen will be assigned throughout the summer, at which time counsellors will immediately correspond with their “little sis ters," encouraging a friendship for the coming year. This meeting was the first of a series to be held each Tuesday un til the end of the term. hlll<»C‘IH‘ Mothers To Name ()f fleers The Eugene Oregon Mothers club will meet this afternoon at -•'30 o'clock in Gerlinger hall to elect officers for the new year, and to make plans for entertaining visiting mothers during Junior Weekend. The meeting will be a social tea. of which ilrs. Dan Johnston and Mrs, Herbert M. Koome are in charge. Assisting them are ills. A. h. Setlier, Mrs. S. A. Sexsmith. ill - 1>. W. DeBusk. Mrs William Barker, and Mrs. J. K. Nasholni. Mrs. Louis k. Bean is now presi dent of ttie organization, and Mrs. Dal it. Young is secretary. •Mrs. Hazel I’. Sclnvering. dean of women, will speak at the meet ing. All Eugene mothers are in vited. Send the Emerald to your friends. Subscription rules ijib.ou a year. Innocent Bystander ❖ lllilllllllllllllllllll!!lllll!ll!lllllllllllllllllll!llllllllll|!lll«IIIUI«llinil By BARNEY CLARK !llllillf!llim!lll!l!l!llll!ll!l!!lllllllllllllllllll! So you thought I was dead eh, my flabby-faced sextette? That shows how little you get around, my pretties. Even Marsh knew that a flicker of life still lingered in the old hulk and Marsh Is practically vege table at that! But YOU I curl my lip! Shall vve discuss something more pleasant? * * * This is a subject I really hate to go into but it must be done, if only to expose Harold J. No ble. Last week Lyle Baker, B. Clark, and George “Bugs'’ Cal las gathered together to do a spot of studying in preparation for the morrow's Modern Eur ope mid-term. Their research into the subject took hours and hours and hours and concluded only when the birdies were twit tering in the early dawn. “Now," says Baker sensibly, “We’d better not go to bed or we’ll forget all we have learned. I propose we stay awake until the exam.” The motion was car ried and the three fatigue-rid den victims kept their scratchy eye-balls open until 11 o’clock. With joy in their hearts they hastened to the classroom and took their seats. They waited. And waited. Aid waited some more. At last, with sickening clar ity, they realized that Harold J. Noble WAS NOT GOING TO TURN UP! Think of it! Hours of agony and then no Harold! Clearly a ease for the American Legion, if there ever was one. The long-awaited Chi Psi-Phi I’si beer bust occurred the other evening (though ‘occurred’ is probably the wrong word). The evening was marked by a start ling display of fireworks, acro batics, and oratory. “Rudie the Rodent" Monte, prominent af ter-dinner speaker, terminated the evening by crawling into a telephone booth and refusing to emerge no matter what the in ducement. He dictated the story of his life (considerably gar bled) over the wire to an un known female, however, and of fered no end of amusement to a large audience. Bill Marsh fell over a set of shelves placed at the head of the third-floor stairs and accompanied them down to the landing, where a considerable area of plaster wall suddenly ceased to be. Berk Mathews gave a clever and persistent imitation of Lady Godiva and Wendell McCool added to the jollity of the eve ning with a case of canon crackers, from which everyone got a sample, thoughtfully pre ignited. Tired but happy the boys trooped to their cast-iron cots at an early hour (in the morning' and dropped into in stant slumber. All of which just goes to show you what healthful exercise can do for a growing boy. The following ditty is respect fully dedicated to Harold J. No ble, in awe and wonder. Our t'ul Hal ■ Tell me not in mourtUul aunt tiers vThat my GPA’s too low; That the gin that I’ve been drinking Hots the stomach sure-and slow. Tell me not my gal's unfaithful, Minor news can't bother me, Since I’ve just cracked Harold Noble For a large and gaudy 'B'.” “Shucks, It's only beer!’’ The Marsh Of Time By Bill Marsh This writer hates to go Win ched on you lads and lassies, but half a dozen or so people tipped me off to some dirt that is so dirty that I can’t resist printing it. Sc: What Alder street soror Ity was recently paid a visit by what recently defeated campus politician? And why did the gals living in said sorority tilt their noses a hit higher than they are usually tilted, and re fuse to accept this man's con gratulations for their being on the winning side? And why did they make smart cracks and catty remarks which added nicely to the pain of defeat? And why do these gals think they’re so darn good anyway that they don't have to accept the courtesy of congratula tions? It’s a funny thing. People that are usually the snootiest are the ones with the least to be snooty about. For you chaps who like to listen to the clink of the chips once in a while, I have an in teresting story. It concerns it self with one Nick-the-Greek, the most colorful gambler ever to thrive in the land of suckers and plenty. Nick, one fair night, got him self into a game of stud. Before long, his sensitive nostrils be gan to tingle with the unmis takable odor of dead fish. In other words, Nick felt that the game wasn’t exactly on the up and-up. The cards weren't marked, yet the other players always seemed to know what his hole card was. He looked around, innocently enough, and noticed a mask on the wall behind him. Through that mask a man was peeping, tipping the other play ers off as to what Nick had buried. In spit of that handicap, N ick cleaned up. And here’s how he did it. In the clean-up pot, his high est card showing was an ace, while his highest rival hand boasted only a jack. The tipster signaled the other that Nick’s hole card was a king. So the other—with a jack in the hole kept over raising. At the showdown. Nick turned up an ace instead of a 3ST Gamma Pin Beta pin on campus Thursday night, April 2d. Howard. Call 772. king, and his pair of bullets tock the huge clean-up pot. He had torn off a corner of a king card, and held it to the corner of his buried ace during the bet ting, thus cheating the cheaters into thinking he had an nec king high instead of a pair of aces. Smooth ? A hundred years is nothing to a Harvard man. On September 18, 1936, when Harvard's ter centenary celebrations will of ficially be over, a member of the Harvard alumni association, by prearrangement, will rise and say, “Mr. president ... I move that this meeting be ad journed to September 18, 2036.” Even so, in 1836 did someone stand up and say, "Mr. presi dent ... I move that this meeting be adjourned to 1936.” Bang goes a century! Europe Firsthand By Howard Kessler Yesterday there came a letter from the slender, swarthy, young Blue Shirt whom I met in Malaga, the radio enthusiast and Fascist who hoped that some day he might come to America and make his fortune, in the past years his English has improved, and with it has grown his desire to see the sky-line of New York. Dear Howard: (he writes) Very many thanks for your letter. I am so glad to hear from you and that you are keeping well. I remember also your friend the old Australian. I am now very busy at work and thinking also to go to your country, but it is possible that I will go not very alone, because I will go with my girl. Have you also a fiance? I am study in the Granada University, that city is very famous by olds monuments. I go there only for passing examination, once by year, in June. Now, I want to tell you something about the last Spanish occurrences. In the present moments, as you know our president is Dn. Manuel Azana he is very clever man, but there are many opinions in the country and people are never satisfied. La3t months, I know that something happens in Granada and also in Madrid, but not very dangerous. In Granada socialist and fascist have arguments. In Malaga the situation is the same as when you were here, some people were a little afraid thinking that the communist party would make some trouble, but nothing happen, so the situation here is O. K. This winter has been here many tourist specially English. I want to know if it is possible to make some business in your Country with some tipic Spanish object. I have bought in a little Spanish town some very nice table centre charmingly em broidered in shades blue and black. I also have some tipic Spanish bag where girls keep everything necessary for to sew, I have also Spanish pots and everything you think can be interesting for selling there. If you are so kind telling me if it is possible to sell it in your Country, I thank you very much. Are you interested in stamps collection? I can send you stamps from my Country that I am quite sure you have never seen. If you are really interested in it tell me, and also if you like ours tipical festival Bull-Fight (Cor ridas de toros) I give you many picture and papers about it. If you have stamps from your Country and also from America, I will be very glad if you send some of them to me, because my girl likes very much stamps collection. We have here stamps from your Country but generally the most usual. What do you think about Hauptmann? Here the most people think he was innocent, and when we know that Hauptmann was killed, every one said that it was a pity. Of course we dont know so many thing about him as you know' and possible your opinion will be different. I do hope you can understand this letter, I have typed it instead of writing as I know that it may be a little difficult for you to read my writing. Trusting that you will write soon, and that you are well, I am, Yours sincerely, Among policemen, firemen, letter carriers, and waiters, the last named are most likely to be afflicted with flattening of the arch of the foot. L. Carceles Sanchez (With a flourish.) A Brazilian tree, the Andira Laurifolia, has its trunk under ground. What appear to be sur face roots are really the branch es of the tree. HALF l HALF MAKES OHE SWELL SMOKE! For "loads” of pleasure, load-up with Half & Half. Cool as the summons: "The dean wants to see you.” Sweet as his greeting: "My boy, you’ve made good.” Fragrant, full-bodied tobacco that won’t bite the tongue — in a tin that won’t bite the fingers. Made by our exclusive modern process including patent No. 1,770,920. Smells good. Makes your pipe welcome anywhere. Tastes good. Your password to pleasure! Not a bit of bite in the tobacco or the Telescope Tin, which gets smaller and smaller as you use-up the tobacco. No bitten fingers as you reach for a load/ even the last one. • Copyright 1936, The American Tobacco Company HALF V-A HALF S~7ir6&G>C0 - - . FOR ?IPI ©R CIOARETTi '